Outer Tilog (Realm)/International Relations
Hear ye! Hear ye!
The Outer Tilog Ministry of Entertainment and Tourism is proud to present the first recipient of the ME&T Award of Conspicuous Merit for Great Battlefield Propaganda!
This prestigious award is reserved for troop leaders who show great creativity and wit throwing insults and propaganda into the face of the enemy - especially defeated enemies.
The inaugural ME&T AoCMfGBP goes to .....
(Zane reaches down and grabs a scribe by the neck. A quick blow with a hatchet splits the scribe's skull, revealing an envelope with a lot of useless grey squishy stuff. Zane extracts the envelope after spooning the grey goop into a bowl for dessert later and then opens the envelope.)
Qaleb!
Qaleb receives this award for his eloquent and thoroughly insulting "Hunt for the Cowering Giblet" in Wirkfyr (2004-06-14 17:52:59). This collossal missive was heart-breakingly insulting and wonderfully evocative (I especially liked the rib-breaking part!). Its grandeur was so great that it passed completely over the bowed heads of the defeated Giblets as they squawked pitifully in protest.
So Qaleb, please accept this Giblet-scalp cape as your prize. (Sorry about the smell and lack of lice ... it should start to ripen up a bit in a few days, and the lice will hatch soon enough).
Thank you to General Woefix for forwarding on the nomination. Indeed, Woefix himself earned the runner-up award for his wonderfully sharp and pointy "please turn on brain cell number two" comment.
For those of you who were not on hand for the original delivery of Qaleb's award-winning speech, transcripts are available from the ME&T. Please send me a self-addressed scribe scribe and I will tattoo the transcript into the skin of his back for you.
Nominations are now being accepted for the next round of awards. Preference is, of course, given to taunts that incite an angry or tearful response from the enemy. Qaleb has set a very high standard with his inaugural award. I expect nothing less from the rest of you! Let's show the world just how consistently abrasive and insulting we Tilogians can really be! Please send in your nominations today!
Transcript of the winning entry:
Roleplay from Qaleb (25 recipients) (2004-06-14 17:52:59) Message sent to: Everyone in this region Setting loose the dogs we hope to discover the hiding place of the not so rare Cowering Giblet. The feilds are thick with the scent of them but soon the dogs find a recent trail and sound. Slaves keep pace with the dogs as they bolt along a fresh trail. Casually we ride behind knowing that the dogs are well trained not to rend the Cowering Giblet too badly. They will have their reward if they are successful. Haa, haa. There he is, we catch sight of him across a field, the chase is all but over at this point. Now that the dogs have caught sight he will never elude them. What's this? A slave has fallen, tripped over a log. Thankfully he has marked that pitfall so my horse need not stumble, his ribs crakle so nicely as my horse plants a hoof in the center of his chest. We laugh at the antics of the Giblet up ahead. The Dogs are at his heels now, there... one has grabbed his wrist and those jaws lock on too. I bet that is Thresher, he was always my favorite. Another has him by the thigh, by the markings I would say it is Castrator. Good doggy. The Cowering Giblet is crying now, knowing the end is near. How wrong, the fool. Yea, the end of the hunt nears, but the fun is just beginning. Feed the fallen slave to the dogs, be sure Thresher gets the genitals, tie up the Giblet and bring him along. This one might survive the night. Hunting songs and jokes make us all smile and laugh as we ride jauntily back to the encampment. Oh, what a fine day. Message from frodo (25 recipients) (2004-06-14 18:10:03) Message sent to: Everyone in this region If your going to try to make fun of, or scare us...maybe you should the name of our realm properly, because usualy, it is the idiots that cant even spell the name of their enemies that fall to their most certain doom, and I do beleive that we are marching on this region, not hiding or "cowering" as you so arrogantly put it. Prepare to meet your maker, YOU WILL FALL TO GIBLOT. Roleplay from Angus (25 recipients) (2004-06-14 18:15:55) Message sent to: Everyone in this region Giblot and fall in the same sentence, must be a sign that the Giblot's will indeed fall! Roleplay from Woefix (25 recipients) Message sent to: Everyone in this region I must admit Qaleb, that wasn't a nice message you sent, Those poor Giblets only are humans you know... about frodo (apart from his bad role-play) I must agree with him, the Giblets are no cowards! as he said:” Prepare to meet your maker, YOU WILL FALL TO GIBLOT" I don't call that coward, I mean if your facing an army stronger then you, and you still believe you can win, that's nothing for cowards is it? I would also like to ask, if you're talking with Tilogians, please turn on brain cell number two, if we are talking about Giblets, we don't mean "Giblot" the realm, but the people that leave in that realm! what I do call cowardly is trying to cease fire with us so that you can defeat Wetham, a realm that has about half of your size! Btw: Frodo if you would know the history Giblot has you would be more silent, if not you would be perfect to be or stay a Giblet forever! Wx, now stop talking, and lets meet in battle ;)