Daubeny Family/Aeron/Out of Time

Roleplay from Aeron Daubeny Player experience level: experienced Player play preference: rp Message sent to all nobles of Tol Goldora (32 recipients) - 11 days, 22 hours, 10 minutes ago Out of Time

Aeron made his way through the war camp in Knyazes, he ignored all offers to share a drink. They were celebrating but Aeron couldn't... wouldn't. He eventually reached the section of the camp where the Oso and Guards of the Wind stayed. He looked approached a soldier "Where's the Marshal's tent?" Aeron was directed closer to the center of the camp and he nodded his thanks. He reached Haide's tent and approached the entry flap.

He nodded respectfully to the two guards by the tent's entrance. "Warden Aeron here to see the Marshal, it's urgent."

Roleplay from Haide Osoro Player experience level: experienced Player play preference: rp Message sent to all nobles of Tol Goldora (32 recipients) - 11 days, 21 hours, 49 minutes ago Out of Time

”Oh, f^ck!” Haide exclaims in surprise, very nearly throwing her piece of charcoal across the tent. She’s never had an official visitor as Marshal before and somehow wasn’t expecting it to happen… ever.

Hopefully it’s not someone she’s pissed off lately, and if it is, hopefully they’re not really f^cking tall, because she’s not anywhere near drunk enough to get stabbed yet.

Frantically, she wipes the black dust from her hands onto her pants and climbs to her feet, trying to make herself look somewhat presentable. Tucking in her shirt, she calls to the guards who Nalaya insists she keeps at the entrance, “Who is it, sir?!”

While she waits for a response, Haide looks over the many, many old military reports littering the floor. “F^cking f^ck…”

Woof! Pepper cusses in agreement, thumping his ginormously disproportional tail around like a f^cking baton.

”I know, I know…” She’d finished all her work for the evening and was doing her favorite non-Nalaya-related activity: doodling dumb caricatures all over everything. Considering some may or may not be depictions of how she imagines the nobles she’s never met but has been bickering with, they likely aren’t ideal for other eyes.

Quickly, Haide stoops to snatch all the parchments up, rushing around the space to get them all.

”…It’s Warden Aeron, Marshal,” a guard replies finally.

”Oh,” Haide says, stopping what she’s doing, arms full of doodles. She exhales a breath as her shoulders relax again, dropping the parchments onto her bedroll. With a relieved smile, she chimes, “He can come in!”

Roleplay from Aeron Daubeny Player experience level: experienced Player play preference: rp Message sent to all nobles of Tol Goldora (32 recipients) - 11 days, 12 hours ago Out of Time

The guards let Aeron enter and the Warden gave a small smile to the pair and entered the tent. He glanced around the room and noticed the dog that was sat in the tent. Aeron let a small smile cross his face and pulled his hood down. "Never took you for a pet person."

He looked like hell, his appearance was a grim mimicry of the joyous young knight that Haide had know. His skin was almost an ash grey, his eyes were a blazing vibrant orange, but despite the color in his eyes there seemed to be something missing in them, the gaze behind them seemed hollow. He had obvious not been sleepy based on the bags beneath his eyes.

His black hair had a noticeable strip of white like he had partly aged. He stepped forward and glanced around noticing the bundle of doodles on Haide's bedroll. "Still drawing? Looks like you've been busy." His voice had not changed much, though there seemed to almost be a cold tone behind his words. "It's been a while, so much has changed since we last got to talk."

He paused and seemed to shake for a moment before he let out a gasp of pain, clutching as his chest as his veins pulsed a sickly black. His head snapped back and he hissed in pain as his the whites of his eyes became a abyssal black. He coughed and shook his head, he sighed and stood as the pulsing in his veins stopped, his eyes appeared "normal" again.

"S-sorry, I... I am fine....we need to talk."

Roleplay from Haide Osoro Player experience level: experienced Player play preference: rp Message sent to all nobles of Tol Goldora (32 recipients) - 11 days, 10 hours, 51 minutes ago Out of Time

Haide takes in Aeron’s appearance, her brow crinkling in concern. Put bluntly, he looks like sh^t. Nothing like the man she met before Caly’s wedding at the Academy in Itau. Surely it hasn’t been long enough for… whatever f^cking happened with his face to have happened.

”Um, you should sit down,” she says hesitantly, unsure if that’s what’s best. She, hurries to retrieve a chair from her desk and sets it in front of him.

Once he slumps down into it and Haide can see his face better, she repeats her astute observation out loud. “Holy f^ck, you look like sh^t, Aeron.”

She quickly races back across the room to pour him a glass of his own rum. Pepper barks happily at her fast movements and galumphs after her, his tail leaving a trail of destruction in his wake.

“F^ck, Pepper!” she exclaims as she dances over his nips at her heels on the return trip to Aeron. She pushes the rum into the Warden’s hands, lights the top on fire as she knows she’s meant to do, and then immediately blows it out. “Drink. Uh, please.”

Haide gets herself rum too and then flops down on the only other seating option, her bed roll. Sitting cross legged, she blows out her own fire rum and takes a ginormous gulp. “I like pets that aren’t f^cking menaces,” she says pointedly to Pepper in response to Aeron’s observation as she holds her rum high and away from a curious sniffing nose. Then her eyes drop to her drawings and she quickly slides them under her covers. “Uhhhh… ignore those.”

Finally, she takes another big sip and looks up at the husk that used to be Aeron. Worry knits her brows together once more as she asks, “What’s wrong?”

Roleplay from Aeron Daubeny Player experience level: experienced Player play preference: rp Message sent to all nobles of Tol Goldora (34 recipients) - 11 days, 2 hours, 37 minutes ago Out of Time

Aeron looked away from Haide, trying not to loook at her worried eyes. “I feel like sh^t too. Can’t sleep anymore, just wake up again screaming from the nightmares.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “Whatever I did to myself in Kynazes isn’t going away. I thought it would be a temporary thing but…it hurts, like my body is trying to tear itself apart with every waking moment.”

Almost to drive the point home his veins pulsed black and Haide could notice small almost imperceptible arcs of a greasy black lightning run up the young man’s body.

Aeron for his part didn’t make a noise merely lowering his head for a moment, he sighed again as the pain subsided and pulsing stopped, tears had begun to form in his eyes.

He gulped down the last of his drink and answered her question. “It hurts Haide, not just the pain but the feeling, everyday I find it harder to be my old self, to be happy and to smile. After all that’s happened I admit it.”

Aeron looked back to Haide, tears beginning to run down his cheeks “I am scared. I truly don’t know how much of me is left in me. I am so scared that one day I will just wake up and be gone.” He wiped his tears, shaking his head as he breathed a deep breath.

”It doesn’t matter, nor now. This wasn’t what I was here to talk about…so I must ask. This isn’t about the Plague but…do you want the bad news or the worse news.”

Roleplay from Haide Osoro Player experience level: experienced Player play preference: rp Message sent to all nobles of Tol Goldora (33 recipients) - 7 days, 17 hours, 47 minutes ago Out of Time

Haide studies Aeron as he speaks, noticing—of course she notices, it’s hard to miss—his twitching with pain as blackness momentarily pumps through his veins. It hurts her heart.

When she sees the tears, she steels her own facial expression. Not because she doesn’t care, the opposite. She knows how much she hates having to look at other people’s sad faces when she knows that she caused them, and she won’t add that to Aeron’s burdens.

Instead, Haide pushes back up to her feet and retrieved a full bottle of rum. “I don’t know why the f^ck I thought we wouldn’t need this,” she mumbles wryly. She refills both of their glasses, lights them both on fire, and sinks back down on the bed roll.

Only once she blows out the fire and takes another big swallow does she let herself exhale. “…You’re not alone, alright? Whatever the f^ck it is, even if it’s something you’ve done. We’ll get through it together. Alright?”

Truthfully, it’s hard for her not to have some apprehension. With her captain—no, father, she needs to change that. With her father’s recent crimes using dark magic still so fresh in her mind, a large part of her wants to scream at Aeron. Find out what the f^ck was he thinking, did he meet her cap— father, did he get the book from him, did he tell Aeron how to use it? The timing seems too dead-on to be a coincidence…

…But then again, the world is a small place. Maybe that’s all it is.

Little Pepper—her dumbass puppy with black paws and ears and tail all too big for his wiggly, speckled body—galumphs over to Aeron and sniffs at Aeron’s boots. Unapologetically, the pup flops onto his side and begins chewing at the toe of Aeron’s shoe with teeny razor sharp teeth.

Haide snorts in amusement and glances up to evaluate Aeron’s face. If he doesn’t like it, she’ll scoop the little menace off. But Pepper has been a big help to her. Maybe he’ll help Aeron too.

“Tell me from the beginning,” she asks finally. “Please.”

oleplay from Aeron Daubeny Player experience level: experienced Player play preference: rp Message sent to all nobles of Tol Goldora (33 recipients) - 6 days, 21 hours, 58 minutes ago Out of Time

Aeron noticed Haide’s demeanor change, immediately he worried he had somehow cause her to be angry with him. He cast a dejected look away from Haide. He took the offered run and down it with practiced speed. He wiped the tears from his eyes and cheeks. He nodded slowly. “Alright.” He took a deep breath and exhaled shakily.

He looked at the small puppy with amusement and almost smiled. He didn’t make smart sign of being annoyed with the puppy. He looked at Haide and began. “So be it, it started two months ago, maybe three. It was before I was Warden of the North Pass. I had heard of a cursed book that an adventurer was selling, it sounded interesting and so I brought it from the man. That was the night that the nightmares started.”

Aeron looked down at the floor, unable to look Haide in the eye. “I’ve always had nightmare ever since I was a young boy... ever since the civil war and my parents death during the war. But this was the first time the nightmares had hurt me.” He looked back up to Haide and sighed. "I should have destroyed it, tossed it into the fire and let it burn, but I couldn't I just couldn't. I started to read it, it was a spell-book and the power that laid within that dammed book I knew could make the difference but I knew it would come at a cost so I never cast a spell from it. Well that was until the Battle of Kynazes."

Aeron's demeanor shifted and he almost seemed hostile for a moment. "The horde that came from the North it was numerous and powerful. If it was just me and the Dawnguard then I wouldn't have worried but the Guards of the Wind and Nalaya were there too." Aeron seemed to become frantic at the memory, he stood and began pacing causing the puppy to step back from the man's feet. "I..I had to do it, I promised to protect her, to protect you. If I failed and she got hurt I could never forgive myself. So I did it, I opened the book and I found a spell and casted it.'

As Aeron's voice got more stressed his veins seemed to hum a faint orange glow, he turned back to Haide "I..it hurt, like the fires that scarred me, like all the pain I had endured during the war, it felt like my own soul was tearing itself apart and then I felt it, strength. My sword's blade glowed hot like it had just come from the forge, I was taller, faster and stronger then I was before but it didn't last long, after the battle I collapsed and I thought I was going to die it hurt so bad."

Aeron shook his head as the glow in veins reached its height and the whites of his eyes started to fill in with an abyssal black. Arcs of orange lighting rolled up his body and he collapsed to his knees, as he held his head in his hands, he let out a soft sob as his tears boiled and hissed on his cheeks.

He shook violently as he cried. he muttered the words "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." If Haide tried to touch him then she would have felt her hand slightly burn like she had touched a hot tea kettle. He paused and exhaled, he raised his right hand and began to mutter in a language Haide didn't recognize as he traced symbols with his right hand after his muttering concluded a soft blue aura glowed around Aeron and steam raised from him. The glowing in his veins and eyes died down and his eyes seemed almost normal again.

He stood and turned away from Haide. "I..I am sorry, are you okay? I am sorry if I scared you." He sat back down and looked down finally noticing the puppy had been barking at him. He sighed and shook his head again. "That is the bad news, I have seemingly permanently cursed me and if my theory is correct then...." Aeron paused and looked back to Haide. "No, it doesn't matter. I don't matter, not compared to the other matter at hand."

He took a moment to take a deep breath and continued. "The Isle has fallen, they lost, I failed. Only the capital still stands and it currently will fall within the next few weeks, so now instead of freeing the Isle I must go north and save as many of my people as I can. I need everyone's help now, we can't wait anymore, We are out of time. I know the disease and the Daimons make it an inconvenient and risky time to do this but if we don't do this then thousands are going to die and if I have to do it by myself then I will." Aeron's eyes were alight again but not with magic, his eyes were determined.

Roleplay from Haide Osoro Player experience level: experienced Player play preference: rp Message sent to all nobles of Tol Goldora (33 recipients) - 6 days, 21 hours, 22 minutes ago Out of Time

Haide absorbs Aeron’s words, trying to keep her face from giving away any sad or negative reactions. The entire time he speaks about the dark magic, her mind keeps selfishly flipping back to her captain—f^ck, her father.

Could this ‘adventurer’ have been someone he planted? He surely would’ve never done it himself, but she had no doubt he could easily force someone else to do such a task.

When it becomes clear that Aeron is in pain and quite literally burning, though, Haide is barely able to stop herself from rushing to him. She has to tighten all of her muscles to stay in place and not go to him, but she doesn’t know if it’s what he wants.

Her heart breaks for her friend. Whatever the f^ck has happened, it’s clear he’s in way over his head now, and Haide knows precisely f^ck all about curses and dark magic. As much as she cares for Aeron, it seemed like he had come to her for help—and she doesn’t see how she could possibly make any difference at all except to recommend he seek the help of the Church.

That is, until he brings up the Isle and his lost people. It’s at that point that sadness finally breaks through her eyes before she can stop it. “F^ck, Aeron…” she mutters. She draws a deep breath, taking in his trembling and pained form, determination still somehow in his eyes. “Can I hug you please?”

When he accepts with a sad nod, she embraces him tightly, fighting through her own flinch and grinding her teeth to stop the involuntary whimper as his hands necessary touch her back. F^ck. Hugs used to sometimes be alright, but not since what happened. She’s f^cking regressing.

She hope it helps.

Once they break apart, she tries to shake off her own nerves and switch to her marshal hat. Running through the numbers in her head, she evaluates if it’s smart to spare troops at a time like this.

^​​​​…It’s not. But most things worth doing will never happen at opportune times. “We gotta move f^cking fast, but we will get them out, Aeron. Do you have a plan in mind?”

Roleplay from Aeron Daubeny Player experience level: experienced Player play preference: rp Message sent to all nobles of Tol Goldora (33 recipients) - 3 days, 31 minutes ago Out of Time

Aeron let Haide hug him, he returned the hug with his right arm. His left was still balled in a fist as Aeron still felt the burning rage in him. He calmed down and sighed, he felt Haide flinch as his hand touched her back, he recoiled and immediately took a step back, he looked panicked to his hand. "Wait, F^CK! Are you ok? I didn't burn you did I?" Haide stood and seemed to act more like the coolheaded marshal. He nodded and stood, clearly worried he'd hurt his friend.

He waited before she asked if Aeron had a plan. "I do, the Dawnfleet is still in Golden Farrow since I brought them here to help you fight your captain. I have the ships needed to defend the Goldoran vessels but my ships aren't transports they're warships, they could transport maybe three to four hundred soldiers of civilians comfortably, six hundred if they were crammed in each ship. I am going to ask the Autarch for his help and support in this matter."

Aeron looked down in thought. "Besides that, hope and pray I am not going to be too late to save them and if I am lucky I can get some small revenge for my family." He paused and looked up at Haide, he sighed. "H-haide, I am scared, scared for my people because of this war and terrified for myself. Death has always surrounded me but the concept of not being here, it scares me."

His determination seemed to falter and flicker for a moment as he spoke. "I am dying, this curse is killing me...I've run tests on myself, I have a month maybe two before it kills me. That's why I say it doesn't matter, all that matters is saving my people and if I am lucky maybe I might actually marry Corna before this curse kills me." He laughed and shook his head, mumbling how unlikely that was to happen. He finished his glass of rum and grabbed his cloak.

"Only you know that this is killing me...I'd like it to be kept that way for a while, if they think I am going to die then they might not help the Isle. You're my best friend Haide and I just, I need your help saving my people and...I needed to tell someone, it's been tearing at my mind since I found out."

Roleplay from Haide Osoro Player experience level: experienced Player play preference: rp Message sent to all nobles of Tol Goldora (33 recipients) - 2 days, 21 hours, 39 minutes ago Out of Time

”You are not dying,” Haide practically snaps, narrowing her eyes up at Aeron. “I don’t give a f^ck what you say, you’re not dying. But that aside, even if you were, sorry for saying so but it’s f^cking dumb not to tell your friends and allies what’s going on.”

Haide shifts nervously, moving a hand to scratch at her own wrist as her eyes shift away again. “…We killed my captain. I thought I was going to die. I was ready to die if it meant making sure he left Nalaya and my friends and Tol Goldora alone. But that was f^cking dumb too, do you know why?”

Now Haide is building a bit of momentum, a bit more conviction.

”Because good people dying doesn’t stop evil things, Aeron. If I died, my captain would just keep taking and taking and taking, and hurting people. If you die, do you really think that evil in you will just fizzle out? Or do you think it’ll find a way to hurt Corna, your friends, the Isle, and the realm?”

Haide let’s that simmer for a bit before clicking her tongue and looking back up at Aeron with a raised eyebrow. “And also, if you think you’re marrying Corna without telling her you’re f^cking dying, you’re sorely f^cking mistaken, sir. She deserves to know. Now.”

Haide takes a swig of rum straight from the bottle now. The information exchanged during this conversation is well beyond the point of cups. “I stopped being a f^cking dummy because the Tidespeaker, Calyspo, and Nalaya talked sense into me, and I’ll talk it into you now. But I’m a lot less f^cking eloquent so here you go: You surrendering to death doesn’t protect anyone. So buck up and get some f^cking help from friends and people who love you.”

Haide stands abruptly and crosses to tent to her desk. She slams a fresh piece of parchment on the table, dips a quill in ink, and begins to scribble. “I’m writing Calypso and the Tidespeaker. If anyone knows a way to stop dark magic, it’s them.”

After beginning the letter, Haide pauses and looks back at the young Warden. “Aeron, I need you to be f^cking honest with me. Did you truly throw away that book like you said, or do you still have it somewhere?”

Roleplay from Aeron Daubeny Player experience level: experienced Player play preference: rp Message sent to all nobles of Tol Goldora (33 recipients) - 2 days, 20 hours, 37 minutes ago Out of Time

Aeron seemed shocked by Haide's words, he looked down to the ground in shame for a moment as she told him how dumb his acceptance of his death was. He cried and shook his head when she mentioned Corna. "I...I , you're right it would be wrong, I shouldn't marry Corna if I am going to die." He laughed slightly for a moment. "She asked me if we were ever going to have a family together, I cried. That thought, it made me so happy...what's wrong with me, I.."

He looked genuinely upset and as Haide walked to her desk Aeron stood and snarled. "NO!" His voice echoed throughout the tent as if multiple voices screamed at once. His veins were alight and his eyes twisted and corrupted again. He was crying, his eyes panicked. "If they know...then they'll think I am weak, then they won't follow me."

"And you're wrong, if I die then this corruption dies with me, another will take my place." Tears sizzled and boiled away into steam that spread around his face. "Because if what you say is true then my family has died for nothing and I can't accept that, I won't."

He sighed and looked to his hands, the pulsing orange veins. The rage, he felt it wash over him. "The book? It's gone, I threw it into the bloody ocean. Why would I keep it? I am not that stupid." He looked down at Haide and saw her hunkered down, covering her head as if expecting him to strike her and something changed in his eyes and for the first time that Haide had ever seen, Aeron's eyes were filled with fear.

He stumbled back. "I..I shouldn't have..I..." He felt a something snap and screamed in a mix of rage, sorrow and pain as his head felt it would split in two from the pressure he felt. The two guards Nalaya had assigned entered the tent and audibly gasped at the scene before them, Aeron slammed past the guards and ran from the tent.

Dirlen and Sergeant Luisa were walking around the camp and both looked shocked when they saw Aeron, Dirlen shook his head but Aeron ran. As fast as he could, past the shocked soldiers and frightened guards, away from the scream of his name and the noise of confusion that washed over the camp.

He ran, past the palisade, further and further he ran out into the cold night, he didn't know how long he ran for, only that he had reached the cave he would go to when he wanted to quietly read or meditate. His footsteps scorched the rock and left black marks every step he took. He made his way to the back of the cave and balled himself up, alone and in pain.

The young Warden began to cry.

Roleplay from Haide Osoro Player experience level: experienced Player play preference: rp Message sent to all nobles of Tol Goldora (33 recipients) - 2 days, 16 hours, 54 minutes ago Out of Time

Haide truly wasn’t expecting expecting that reaction from Aeron.

She had turned around to write a letter asking Calypso and Edelyn for help dealing with Aeron’s curse when suddenly an unrecognizable, furious, terrifying male voice roars from behind her.

She’s on the floor in an instant, arms wrapped over her head and bracing for whatever pain will inevitably come raining down on her. Her heart stops, her breath locks in her lungs, and her muscles shield themselves in anticipation…

…but it never comes.

After a few terrifying moments, Aeron’s normal—albeit upset—voice finds Haide’s ears. Listening carefully but too afraid to move, she barely picks up something about Aeron’s family, and a book, and ‘I shouldn’t have’.

There’s a loud, fast commotion behind her, and Haide nearly rolls under her desk for cover. But then like an echo coming back to her after a long delay, Haide finally realizes what has happened: Aeron left.

F^ck.

Now she doesn’t want to uncurl at all. From the existential fear coursing through her veins and the shame of acting like a f^cking coward.

F^ck!

That one Haide hears herself say out loud. She forces her arms from her head and rises shakily to her feet. Her brain feels foggy and the tent around her feels vaguely like a dream, and she has to blink hard to focus.

With a swallow, she summons as much authority as she can and marches to the guards who stare back at her, eyes full of concern. “Which way?” she croaks. She hadn’t expected her voice to come out that flat and broken and she f^cking hates it.

One guard nods in the direction Aeron went and opens his mouth to reply, but Haide has already pushed through the tent flap and is sprinting off after him.

Aeron isn’t hard to track. Sizzling, charred footprints mark his every step, burnt into the grass and dirt and underbrush. Once she reaches a rocky outcrop, the material is too tough to be marked, so she scans over her surroundings. Quickly, she spots a cave. Surely he’s inside.

Only once Haide is striding up to the mouth of the hiding spot does her mind begin to revolt. She’s the f^cking marshal and cowered like a child—worse, because she’d stopped doing that as a child. Why the f^ck did she do it now? In front of f^cking Aeron? When she knows he’s not an actual f^cking threat and needs help and strength, not weakness?

In her own humiliation, she feels anger flare. Why had he f^cking yelled at her like that? It was her fault she pushed him. Why hadn’t he stayed? It was her fault she failed him.

Every part of her wants to run, but instead she follows the sounds of sobbing to where a hunched over Aeron hides inside the cave. Instead of speaking, she sits down next to him—close enough so he knows she’s there, but without invading his space.

Without judgement, she silently lets him cry.

Roleplay from Aeron Daubeny Player experience level: experienced Player play preference: rp Message sent to all nobles of Tol Goldora (33 recipients) - 2 days, 15 hours, 18 minutes ago Out of Time

Aeron was alone with his memories, he heard footsteps and then something sitting down a few feet from him. He cries for a short time until his sorrow slowly dies down. He sits there in silence for nearly a minute before he speaks, his voice is dark and barely louder then a whisper. "I miss them Haide, they're all dead and here I am having to carry the burden alone...I miss my father, my mother, my brother. I miss walking along the beaches and picking berries from the vines. I miss the songs, the dancing and laughter."

Aeron curled tighter and sobbed "I want to go home but now there is no home to go back too. I failed, I was too slow and now everyone I ever loved and cared has died. Maybe it is good this corruption is killing me...maybe this is what I deserve for all the pain I've caused."

He looked to Haide, his tears flowed freely but they did not boil as he had begun to cool down. "My mother died bringing me into this world, my father died trying to keep me in it. My brother, I don't even know where he is or if he still lives. Dirlen will never fight again after his injuries. Nearly three hundred Dawn Guard died fighting for me in Tol Goldora. Thousands are dead on the Isle because I failed."

He looked back at the cave wall he was facing. "I am a monster, so much suffering is my fault, I scare you and so many others, my sword glows like its made of lava, I burn everything I touch AND EVERYTHING HURTS!" Aeron's shout echoed throughout the cave and his veins again flared up but quickly died down as Aeron sighed.

"It hurts, it all hurts so much. I just want it to stop, I just want it to be over. Was the Civil War not enough, does the Tidemother hate me that much. Was killing my own family in a decade long war not enough pain? Was the being burnt alive beneath a crumbling not enough pain? Was losing my entire family not enough pain? Is being the Last Daubeny left alive not enough pain?"

He looked back to Haide. "When does it end, when is it enough? I've lost almost everything. I just want it to stop. It hurts." Aeron lowered his head into his torso and almost wrapped himself into a ball. Aeron was silent, he didn't cry and if it wasn't for the sound of his breathing Haide might have thought he died.

Roleplay from Haide Osoro Player experience level: experienced Player play preference: rp Message sent to all nobles of Tol Goldora (33 recipients) - 1 day, 21 hours, 7 minutes ago Out of Time

Haide listens as Aeron sobs and explains. In the darkness of the cave, she scratches at her wrist to give her hands something to do other than shake.

Her friend clearly harbors a lot of guilt over things way outside of his control. And is in a whole lot of f^cking pain, physically and emotionally. And while Haide can understand that, it’s much easier to pinpoint the fallacies in someone else.

”Pain is not a f^cking currency, Aeron,” she says sharply. She still feels detached from her emotions, from her body, from the world since Aeron’s outburst, but these words come on autopilot—they’re something she’s thought about often.

”You don’t f^ck things up and earn a pain-debt to be paid back. Experiencing pain doesn’t cancel out mistakes or teach or fix a f^cking thing, because pain doesn’t give a f^ck about you. Once someone has experienced pain, there’s not a f^cking thing you can do to take it back, and suffering pain affects more than the person who experiences it. As you know, it wrecks those who experiences it, those who causes it, and those who love them both.”

”You will never suffer enough pain, Aeron, because you owed none to begin with. People sacrificed for you, that’s their choice. You plan to sacrifice for others now—do you hope that after you die that they’ll think they deserve pain too? That they’ll take responsibility for your suffering?”

Haide feels herself getting a little fired up and has to cut herself off. For all her ranting, her nails have cut through the skin on her wrist and she quickly covers the blood. She’s a f^cking hypocrite, she knows. But she’s working on it.

Scooting closer but not enough to touch him, Haide heaves a deep sigh.

“I… I’m sorry. I don’t mean to… I don’t wanna be harsh. And I’m really f^cking sorry life has been so painful, truly I am, it’s not f^cking fair. But you need to stop thinking of this as something you f^cking earned or must bear and instead think of it as the f^cking enemy it is and shut it down. And we don’t defeat enemies alone, Aeron. You fight in the Host, not as a lone knight on a f^cking hill.

”There is abso-f^cking-lutely nothing to gain from suffering alone. If anything, it’ll hurt your loved ones more when they realize you didn’t trust them enough to let them try to help. So stop being a f^cking martyr for no reason and let people help you.”

Roleplay from Aeron Daubeny Player experience level: experienced Player play preference: rp Message sent to all nobles of Tol Goldora (34 recipients) - 20 days, 20 hours, 39 minutes ago Out of Time

Aeron was silent, he lowered his head and listened to Haide's words. He waited until she finished, martyr. She still didn't understand but he would not trouble his friend anymore then he already had. Aeron wiped his eyes of tears and stood. "Maybe you're right, but there is more at stake here then just me, I will look after myself and get this issue sorted as soon as possible. I promise." He looked to Haide. "I just need to focus, the Isle needs me and I need to be strong. But I promise I won't martyr myself, there is just alot going on right now."

He looked around the cave and sighed. "Are you ok? I don't know what came over me there, I pray I did not scare you too much with my scream...you're my best friend Haide, thank you, now shall we go get absurdly drunk and pretend like the world around us isn't coming to an end?"

Aeron usual smile returned and he seemed almost relaxed. "Then I can go see the Autarch tomorrow and I can see about getting some men and ships to go save the Isle.