The Order of Da Great Goat/Legends about Da One

(the scribes are still compiling the correct versions of these stories, and their contents will be posted here as soon as the research is complete)

"The Legend of Da Hat," by Tony

As Tony was walking through the grand square of Stargard one day, a group of small children began to follow him.

"Hey, Mister.....Mister!", one of the kids calls out, "Where'd you get that strange, old hat?"

"This hat?" Tony replied, "This is not just any old hat. This is Da Hat!"

"You are lying!", heckled a small child at the back, "Da Hat isn't real; it's just a myth."

"I tell you no lie, this is Da Hat, given to me by AJ Von Krondor, when he was Arch Priest of Redspan. Still don't belive me? Gather 'round and I'll tell you the story."

Tony grabbed a box of apples and the children sat down around him.

"Now when I was a small child like you, I often dreamt of being a Troop Leader for Redspan, commanding men in the field for the glory and honour of fighting for our realm. Finally, I got that chance. It was at the time when our armies were fighting off Abington. Many battle were fought in our southern lands. My brother Bugsy & I joined the defense. Alas, Bugsy was killed that fateful day fighting for our realm."

"Not long after this, I made a mistake. I was still new to these lands, and my men short of food and money so I ordered them to loot some peasents. This was a crucial mistake. A mistake, according to the laws of Redspan at the time, that was punishable by being banished from the realm. But Judge AJ had mercy and did not banish me. Instead, he gave me Da Hat to wear until I had leared my lesson."

"With our army fresh from Stargard, we marched on Chasnoff once again, and made a pre-emptive strike in an attempt to catch the Abington army off-guard. Unfortunatly we did not win but managed to cause many casulties. That night, a stray goat wandered into my camp, and a strange and miraculous thing happened. My men, both wounded and healthy, stood and stared in complete disbelive as this goat started to chew Da Hat! The men saw this as a sign from Da Great Goat himself."

"Soon battle was upon us again, and I took to the field with my men who had survived our long nights in the camps. That day, we were victorious against unbelievable odds. Our line held and we defeated the Abington army and forced them to retreat back to their Riverholm with their tails between their legs. This is how the Legend of Da Hat was born! I have worn Da Hat from that day forth. It is a symbol of victory and a pledge of allegience to Da Great One himself."

"Now when our enemies see my banner waving aloft above the army of Redspan, they know that Da Hat travels with it, and thus Da Great Goat himself marches with them. They fear and respect Da Hat in equal measures, as quite rightly they should."

"Now, children do you belive me? Do you belive that this is Da Hat?"

Tony then rose and headed off in search of the nearest pub, leaving the group of children sitting in a circle, gobsmacked and speachless.

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