Redspan

RedSpan

Current Map

The Kingdom of RedSpan

Redspan is a realm of warriors, whether you are a hardened fighter or a youngster eager to decapitate the first enemy in sight, Redspan will welcome you if you want to know the true meaning of comradeship, loyalty and cool dresses.

Make sure you familiarize yourself with our local customs and our devotion to Da Great Goat...a great place to start will be our local inn at the roderidderalley 8 in Stargardcity.

Manaydur Lamont, King of Redspan

(more information about the realm will be added in the future)

A History of the Realm

The story of Redspan is a tale of survival, determination, and friendship. There have been many ups and downs for the realm, but ultimately it has been her faithful nobles who have preserved her, and managed to bring Redspan back from the brink of destruction. Plus, a little help from Da Great Goat of course.

Important Figures - Past & Present

The Last Dragon

• an Ancient Protector of RedSpan (represented on the old banners), the Dragon left with the last of the Ancient Kings, de rode ridder

Da Great Goat

• our revered diety (as shown by our banner), creator of Da Way, and bringer of all things good

King DrSceptre

• Founder of RedSpan

King de rode ridder

• Last King of The Dragon, our Guide Through Darkest Times

King ry2n BloodDiver

• First King under Da Great Goat, Bringer of our Enlightenment

King Manaydur Lamont

• Second King under Da Great Goat, Rebuilder of our Realm

General Lei'o'mano Kamehameha

• A True Hero of RedSpan; Defender of Stargard; Last Warrior of the Dragon

General AJ Von Krondor

• A True Hero of RedSpan; First Champion of Da Great Goat

Da Great Goat & Da Way

We in Redspan revere Da Great Goat and follow Da Way. Though a bit confusing to newcommers, Da Way has always been the truest path for Redspan, and as long as we have followed it, only good things have happened for us. Please use the following sections to familiarize yourself with Da Way and all the ways we pay homage to Da Smelly One.

Practices & Rituals to honor Da One

-Using soap is heresy; it hides a person's true odor like a mask hides a person's true identity. Plus, it tastes really bad.

-Shiny metals & armors are like a peacock's feathers; they only serve to display your own conceit and vanity. Worn, beaten and rusty metals are prized by us; they have endured many trials and have been steadfast companions.

-Ales & other such drinks are highly prized for their inebriating properties. They put you in a similar state of mind with Da Great Goat and should be enjoyed often and in as large a quantity as possible.

-Dresses/robes/kilts are the only acceptable forms of clothing. Da Great One has no need of pants, and neither do his followers.

Proverbs & Sayings inspired by Da One

-"For he who is intelligent and wealthy is not necessarily Da Greatest Achievement of My Being. I do not mean to bring brightest ones to glory. It's just I fart loud sometimes, and somewhat it makes people smarter". -ry2n BloodDiver

-"Self discipline is even more important than regular gas passing". -ry2n BloodDiver

-Ama-zi-hing Goat, how sweet Da Beard, Eat gra-ha-has all day and mehh for sound..

wha-at once was lost, now i-his One One i-his all And Da One ain't round

For glo-hory and G0-ho-hoat we'll rule the-uh land By cart o-hor boat Da One will ne-hever end... -AJ Von Krondor

-"For he who draws a lance in a bar fight is like a dead flower in grean, juicy grass. Still smells horribly but at least it's decomposing". -ry2n BloodDiver

-"A thousand roads leading to nowhere, but Da Smelly One showed me which road is leading to his Goatly Wisdom. I wish it wasn't such a bumpy road, because my back is hurting". -Omenn Unitea

-"So after Rosegardenguy was defeated again, a crowd gather around Da Great Goat cheering and waving. One from this crowd asked Da One:

Does walking Da Path make one sure of eternal happiness ?

And Da One answered:

BURP

because he was full of beer and sleepy."

"The Barrel of Ale", proverb of Da Great Goat retold by Shamus O'Shea

One day as he was grazing in Ambermel, two peasants came before Da Great Goat with a disagreement. Each man claimed that the barrel of ale they had brought with them was his, and that the other man was a liar.

"Oh Smelly One," they said, "please solve this disagreement and return this barrel of ale to its rightful owner."

Da Great Goat thought about this for a few minutes, and eventually bleated out:

"Bring forth a sword."

So a servant ran off and hurriedly returned with a sword. Da Great Goat spoke again:

"Now cut the barrel in two."

Perplexed, the servant did as Da Great Goat said. He took his best swing and split the keg neatly in two. The two arguing men were speechless as they watched the Ale spill all over the ground. Da Great Goat began eagerly lapping it up. Finally after a few minutes, one of the men spoke up:

"Oh Hairy One, how did cutting the barrel in half with a sword resolve the matter of who the rightful owner was?"

Da Great Goat, raised his head, beard dripping with suds and said:

"Ale belongs to whomever is currently drinking it. Suckers."

Moral of the story: Ale is for drinking, not arguing over.

Songs for Paying Tribute to Da One

"Ode To Goatdom", by Taelon Crimsonblade

Though he be wise, And he be grand, AJ the noble's, Just a man,

However he, Is blessed by one, That rules those, In Goatdom.

[END INTRO] [Begin Chorus]

Goatdom, Goatdom, A grand, old land, Is Goatdom,

Goatdom, Goatdom, To glorious life, In Goatdom,

[End Chorus]

Though we may fall, In battle soon, We know we'll drink again, For those who follow, Da Great Goat, Will rise again in Goatdom,

[Chorus]

All the evil, Scallywags, We meet battle soon,

Shall taste their death, Upon our swords, Ne'er to rise in Goatdom,

[Chorus]

Our wives and kids, With bearded face, May look at us and smile,

For though we may, Yet drown in ale, We'll rise again in Goatdom,

[Chorus]

My dirty feet, And unwashed smell, May kill the ones I meet,

But if they are, Of redspan blood, They rise again in Goatdom.

[Chorus X2]

For mentor lesson's and pictures of Da Holy Goat:

http://www.vvermeulen.nl/RedSpan_index.htm

--oshea 07 October 2005 03:14 (CEST)