Difference between revisions of "Muninn Newsrag"

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| width="40%" bgcolor="White" | '''Lead Editor: [[Felhand Family/Davendrall|Davendrall]]''' ([[User:X-anne-x]]) <br>'''Editor, Agony Aunt and Official Spell-checker: [[Van_Dell_Family/Anneliese|Anneliese]]''' ([[User:Audacity]])
 
| width="40%" bgcolor="White" | '''Lead Editor: [[Felhand Family/Davendrall|Davendrall]]''' ([[User:X-anne-x]]) <br>'''Editor, Agony Aunt and Official Spell-checker: [[Van_Dell_Family/Anneliese|Anneliese]]''' ([[User:Audacity]])
 
! width="30%" align="center" bgcolor="White" |Cost: 3 cookies  
 
! width="30%" align="center" bgcolor="White" |Cost: 3 cookies  
!width="30%" align="right" bgcolor="White" |October 2010
+
!width="30%" align="right" bgcolor="White" |January 2011
 
|-  
 
|-  
 
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| width="100%" colspan="3" text-align="center"|
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*[[Muninn_Newsrag/October 2010|October 2010]]
 
*[[Muninn_Newsrag/October 2010|October 2010]]
 
*[[Muninn_Newsrag/November 2010|November 2010]]
 
*[[Muninn_Newsrag/November 2010|November 2010]]
 +
*[[Muninn_Newsrag/December 2010|December 2010]]
  
 
=This Month's Paper=
 
=This Month's Paper=
 
 
  
 
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{|align=right border="0" style="  border-right: 3px solid #000; border-left: 3px solid #000; border-bottom: 3px solid #000; border-top: 3px solid #000; background-color: #8A2BE2; width: 28%"
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{{MN_article
 
{{MN_article
|date=Saturday 19th December
+
|date=Sunday 3rd January
|title= Editor forgets newspaper exists
+
|title=Davendrall angry at Anneliese being deported to the Far East
|article=  
+
|article=Thanks to several -censored by scribe- realms declaring war on Eston for absolutely no reason at all, for certain nobles wishing to leave Eston, it is necessary to travel through enemy territory, which of course ended up in the capture of Anneliese in the Cagilan Empire.
Someone who works for this newspaper has failed to report on such important events as:
+
 
 +
And thanks to some -censored by scribe- judge banning Anneliese for petty crimes, she became rogue, while in enemy prisons.
 +
 
 +
But we thought, it will be okay, she hasn't committed any crime towards the empire, so why would they punish her? After all, they captured a lowly sabator, promising to release her within 3 days of capture.
 +
 
 +
But no! Some -censored by scribe- Judge, who clearly isn't sane, or has any form of intelligence, deports her! For no reason! So now a journey that would have taken about a week, will take over 3 weeks! And poor Davendrall has to try and survive on her own.
  
*Jean Alain stepping down, and the election of a new king
+
But hey, look on the bright side, when Anneliese and Davendrall finally join Carelia, they will kicking the -censored by scribe- out of the Cagilan Empire"
*the death of a hero, Lyndia Knytling
+
|editor= [[Felhand Family/Davendrall|Davendrall]]
*an important battle in Anost
+
}}
*a ceasefire agreement with Hammarsett
 
*Darka going to war against the Cagilan Empire
 
*the capture of our general, and the appointment of a new general
 
  
And that reporter is Davendrall Felhand! What has she been doing, you might ask? To answer that, dear reader, I must tell you one thing:
+
{{MN_article
 +
|date=Sunday 3rd January
 +
|title= Anneliese deported to the Far East
 +
|article=After returning from the Taran Prison, Editor Davendrall Felhand received this letter:
  
<center>''Davendrall is a Huge Dork''</center>
+
Lady Davendrall,
 +
Anneliese and I have been separated in the Cagilan Empire. She was caught by patrols while traveling, and taken into prison. I was several paces behind her, so I was able to hide before they saw me. While she was inside, the ban spoken on her took effect. I don't know why, but the judge then decided to deport her. (Perhaps it is standard practice to deport rogue nobles?)
  
She's been too busy gallivanting around with priests to pay attention to this poor, neglected newspaper - yes, that's right, she's involved in a cult!  Furthermore, I have received proof that her involvement in this cult is so great that she has become one of the top members of this secretive organization - these high ranking members are known as ''Huge Dorks''. Much like priests, they lead the followers in worship of a god they call the ''Mighty Dork''.
+
I heard this while passing through Cagilan lands. Apparently, she caused quite a ruckus when they forced her on the ship, screaming a man's name (which I knew must have been you, as she is fond of shortening your name to 'Dave')and hurling insults. They had to hit her on the head to get her on the ship.
  
Anyone who knows this woman will not be surprised or terribly shocked of this news, for she has been showing signs of it: setting warehouses on fire (a sacred and ancient rite known among the Dorks as 'setting things on fire'), torturing peasants and sacrificing them to the Mighty Dork, using rodents as daggers and wearing gaudy underwear - the last of which is mandatory dress for any true Dork.
+
I thought you would want to know. (Please don't hurt me, I had nothing to do with this.)
  
Unfortunately, this information comes from an anonymous source and thus the proof of these words can not be seen publicly - our witness is very afraid of an untimely death by the hands of Davendrall, the Huge Dork. However, if everyone goes around proclaiming Davendrall is a Huge Dork, then she will not be able to discern which is the true informant and who is merely being loud and annoying. So tell your mother, tell your sister, tell everyone:
+
Signed,
 +
Anneliese's squire,
 +
Jessie
 +
|editor= [[Felhand Family/Davendrall|Davendrall]]
 +
}}
  
<center>''Davendrall is a Huge Dork!''</center>
+
{{MN_article
 +
|date=Sunday 2nd January
 +
|title= Happy new year from a Taran prison
 +
|article=Happy new year my dear newsrag readers! What a joyous way for me to spend new years? In a -censored by scribe- Taran prison cell
  
<sub>By the way, Dave, I stole one of your daggers and used it to squish a bug.</sub>
+
And why have I been imprisoned you may ask? Why? Well, I will tell you why. FOR TRAVELING THROUGH THEIR LANDS! Doing no damage at all, having no troops, merely, traveling. I didn't even burn any warehouses down! The fact I was planning to in the next region was an entirely different matter! It's not my fault half the continent decided to declare war on Eston for no reason! I mean, the cheek of it! Arresting me, the great Davendral Felhand, for traveling through their land?! Its preposterous! It's a scandal! Their land is below me anyway. I mean, well of course it is, if I'm standing on it, but the land should be honoured to have me walking on it's pathetic burnt out upper layer! Arrested? So rude!
  
|editor= [[Van_Dell_Family/Anneliese|Anneliese]]
+
And to show further the Tarans bad manners, the Taran Judge hasn't even bothered to reply to a letter I send. And has left me in a cell to rot! These Tarans need to kidnapped, beaten, tortured, and given some lessons in etiquette.!
 +
|editor= [[Felhand Family/Davendrall|Davendrall]]  
 
}}
 
}}
  
 +
{{MN_article
 +
|date=Sunday 2nd January
 +
|title=Anneliese banned from Eston
 +
|article=A judge of Eston, Athena Leather, has 'politely asked' Anneliese to leave the realm of Eston for a 'continual disregard for Eston laws' after once again issuing a duel during war time.
 +
 +
It was announced that if Anneliese hadn't left the realm within 3 days she would be banned. As such I have come to the conclusion, this is just a polite and prolonged way of banning someone, as getting to another realms capital within 3 days is a little unlikely, especially if you want to be picky about which realm you wish to join
 +
 +
The duel was challenged to a young darken noble whom previously kissed Davendrall, bringing great insult upon the Dames. But as the dishonorable coward that he is, for the second time, he has refused to accept the duel.
 +
 +
Davendrall and Anneliese we're interviewed by a reporter earlier today:
 +
 +
Davendrall: "Well we didn't like Eston anyway! And we're going to leave anyway. And you know why? Because they all smell funny!"
 +
 +
Anneliese: "I thought she was getting a bit soft, what with all those trouble-makers doing evil things like sending peasant heads to Smeagenwulf."
 +
 +
Davendrall: "Or sending a box of inappropriate toys to various nobles, including the General, or torturing and killing several people, or kidnapping a general, dressing him up as a women, and entering him in a beauty contest"
 +
 +
Annelise: "Yeah, these trouble makers should be banned"
 +
 +
Davendrall: "Yeah, such despicable behavior, who would do such things?!"
 +
|editor= [[Felhand Family/Davendrall|Davendrall]]
 +
}}
 
[[Category:Atamara]]
 
[[Category:Atamara]]
 
[[Category:Newspapers]]
 
[[Category:Newspapers]]

Revision as of 01:01, 3 January 2011

Hamster2.JPGMUNINN NEWSRAG Hamster2.JPG
Lead Editor: Davendrall (User:X-anne-x)
Editor, Agony Aunt and Official Spell-checker: Anneliese (User:Audacity)
Cost: 3 cookies January 2011

The Muninn Newsrag! The newspaper about whatever random things are happening in the lives of the writers and whatever realm they happen to be in at the time, and whatever strange and funny stuff they can think of at the time. The paper is currently based in Barad Lacirith, Capital of Eston. The main editor is Davendrall Felhand who also owns the newspaper as part of her business; The Cute Cookie Corporation. In her offices there are rows upon rows of mini desks. And in each one, is a rabbit. And in each rabbit's furry little paws is a pencil. And with that pencil, they have been trained to write. And thus this newspaper is written.

Adventures of one Drunk and her Rabbit

Also read the Adventures of one Drunk and her Rabbit, tales of the editors of this Newspaper, published by the Editors of this Newspaper available for your personal entertainment now!

Archives

This Month's Paper


Ask Anne the Agony Aunt
______________________________________
• Aunt Anne, Question -Name
• Dear Name,

Answer - Anneliese

______________________________________
Advertisement
Leprechaun Wine.JPG
Pest Control.JPG
Davendrall angry at Anneliese being deported to the Far East Sunday 3rd January
Thanks to several -censored by scribe- realms declaring war on Eston for absolutely no reason at all, for certain nobles wishing to leave Eston, it is necessary to travel through enemy territory, which of course ended up in the capture of Anneliese in the Cagilan Empire.

And thanks to some -censored by scribe- judge banning Anneliese for petty crimes, she became rogue, while in enemy prisons.

But we thought, it will be okay, she hasn't committed any crime towards the empire, so why would they punish her? After all, they captured a lowly sabator, promising to release her within 3 days of capture.

But no! Some -censored by scribe- Judge, who clearly isn't sane, or has any form of intelligence, deports her! For no reason! So now a journey that would have taken about a week, will take over 3 weeks! And poor Davendrall has to try and survive on her own.

But hey, look on the bright side, when Anneliese and Davendrall finally join Carelia, they will kicking the -censored by scribe- out of the Cagilan Empire"

Editor: Davendrall
Anneliese deported to the Far East Sunday 3rd January
After returning from the Taran Prison, Editor Davendrall Felhand received this letter:

Lady Davendrall, Anneliese and I have been separated in the Cagilan Empire. She was caught by patrols while traveling, and taken into prison. I was several paces behind her, so I was able to hide before they saw me. While she was inside, the ban spoken on her took effect. I don't know why, but the judge then decided to deport her. (Perhaps it is standard practice to deport rogue nobles?)

I heard this while passing through Cagilan lands. Apparently, she caused quite a ruckus when they forced her on the ship, screaming a man's name (which I knew must have been you, as she is fond of shortening your name to 'Dave')and hurling insults. They had to hit her on the head to get her on the ship.

I thought you would want to know. (Please don't hurt me, I had nothing to do with this.)

Signed, Anneliese's squire, Jessie

Editor: Davendrall
Happy new year from a Taran prison Sunday 2nd January
Happy new year my dear newsrag readers! What a joyous way for me to spend new years? In a -censored by scribe- Taran prison cell

And why have I been imprisoned you may ask? Why? Well, I will tell you why. FOR TRAVELING THROUGH THEIR LANDS! Doing no damage at all, having no troops, merely, traveling. I didn't even burn any warehouses down! The fact I was planning to in the next region was an entirely different matter! It's not my fault half the continent decided to declare war on Eston for no reason! I mean, the cheek of it! Arresting me, the great Davendral Felhand, for traveling through their land?! Its preposterous! It's a scandal! Their land is below me anyway. I mean, well of course it is, if I'm standing on it, but the land should be honoured to have me walking on it's pathetic burnt out upper layer! Arrested? So rude!

And to show further the Tarans bad manners, the Taran Judge hasn't even bothered to reply to a letter I send. And has left me in a cell to rot! These Tarans need to kidnapped, beaten, tortured, and given some lessons in etiquette.!

Editor: Davendrall
Anneliese banned from Eston Sunday 2nd January
A judge of Eston, Athena Leather, has 'politely asked' Anneliese to leave the realm of Eston for a 'continual disregard for Eston laws' after once again issuing a duel during war time.

It was announced that if Anneliese hadn't left the realm within 3 days she would be banned. As such I have come to the conclusion, this is just a polite and prolonged way of banning someone, as getting to another realms capital within 3 days is a little unlikely, especially if you want to be picky about which realm you wish to join

The duel was challenged to a young darken noble whom previously kissed Davendrall, bringing great insult upon the Dames. But as the dishonorable coward that he is, for the second time, he has refused to accept the duel.

Davendrall and Anneliese we're interviewed by a reporter earlier today:

Davendrall: "Well we didn't like Eston anyway! And we're going to leave anyway. And you know why? Because they all smell funny!"

Anneliese: "I thought she was getting a bit soft, what with all those trouble-makers doing evil things like sending peasant heads to Smeagenwulf."

Davendrall: "Or sending a box of inappropriate toys to various nobles, including the General, or torturing and killing several people, or kidnapping a general, dressing him up as a women, and entering him in a beauty contest"

Annelise: "Yeah, these trouble makers should be banned"

Davendrall: "Yeah, such despicable behavior, who would do such things?!"

Editor: Davendrall