Redspan Revealer/24th May 2006
 RedSpan Revealer
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| Price: Free | Editor: Tony, High Marhsal of Redspan | Issue No9 24th May 2006 |
| Printed In Stargard | ||
| Achillies Sues For Peace | |
| When Falasan joined the war against the NA, Achillies was quick to get on his knees to the federation. He has proposed a cease-fire with the Federation, to allow him to go and fight Falasan with out interuption from behind. We all had a good old laugh when we heard about Achillies Groveling.
But unlike some members of the continent we are true to our word and supported our new allies and friends by rejecting his plea. It seems achillies should have accepted the terms for peace before Falasan jopined the war. But Achillies in his ultimate wisdom rejected the offer. Now his realms doom rests on his head alone. |
| CE Declares War On Carelia |
| It has finally been anounced that CE is officially at war with Carelia. This means the non-agression tactics of Carelia has now been put aside. This is good news for Redspan as it diverts CE attention away from Tara's defence. Unfortunatly CE has taken control of Nida. But many small engagements have gone the way of the Federation. Things are looking good down south. |
| Falasan Declares war on Tara |
| Falasan have declared war on Tara, bringing another country in the war in the south. This intervention by Falasan has effectivly brought Tara's destruction even closer. |
| Tandsu Is now Free! |
| Tandsu is now free of tyranny. The local authority's have now decided that they will be better under Redspans control than under the brutal regime of Achillies. All the peasents are doing now are growing beards and enjoyionng thier freedom. Dielo Has been anounced as the new local lord and they are rejoicing at that news. |
| ASI Cease-fire with Carelia |
| With CE decleration of war on Carelia, Doc's Revenge has honourably called a cease-fire between ASI and Carelia, he says that it would not be right to intervenn in such a time. If the situation is right after the CE/Carlia conflict ios finished then he may take up the sword against them again, maybe not. This is good news for Carelia, Especially haveing beaten ASI twice in a row on home turf. |
| Interview with The New Prophet of Da One |
| 1: How did you know you were Da Prophet of Da One?
When I found the scrolls telling the tale of Da Beginning of All, I also found an empty barrel of ale and a doll. The scroll symbolizes lore or stories, the empty barrel that Da One was there, and the doll means that I must be silly. Ranting people are generally found silly, so I was to rant a story about Da One, which means I'm His Prophet. Simple. 2: What do you intend on doing now you are Da Prophet? Not Da Prophet, a prophet. AJ is Da Prophet. I was just hoping he didn't remember so I could be Da Prophet. However, as A Prophet, I will of course rant the tales and legends about Da One, and in time, expand the House of Da One in Lurgrod into a Church of Da One (or Goatism as I'm going to call it). 3: How will you go around spreading Da Word Of Da One? Drink a barrel of ale dry, stand up on it and rant about Da One. 4: What Does Da one Say about Redspans future and Current situation? He says "Meh!" 5: Anything else you would like to Say? Yes. The Revealer is the only true newspaper! All other papers are evil! |
| Da Daily Dose Of da One |
| Welcome ladies and gentle men to Da Daily Dose Of Da One. Here you can get you next instalment of how to be a great prophet of Da Smelly One. The first installment of how da One Came into Existance.
The beginning of All Provided by Leonard Enstance The very first thing At the beginning, there was only darkness, and Da One. Content with the darkness, Da One slept for decades and decades, never rising to care. But then he grew hungry. Very hungry. And he wished for food, and there came grass. However, he couldn't see, for all was dark, and so he made light. And now he could see. He saw that he had not only made grass, he had also made water, trees, flowers and even a bright orb that gave light to it all. He named the orb Sun, for he didn't care much for names. For a while, Da One was content with eating and eating and eating more, but after some time, he grew thirsty. He tried drinking water, but it tasted horribly, so he made an entirely new thing: Ale. Pleased with the creation of ale, he drunk barrels and barrels, until he fell to the ground with a mighty burp and slept. He slept for a long, long time, and when he woke, he was the very first being with a hangover. Da One didn't like the hangover, but knew that it was useful to punish those who might dare steal his ale, so instead of removing it, in his endless wisdom, he made himself immune to it through a mighty ritual requiring three day's constant drinking as well as mighty blessings cast by him. He named the ritual RedSpanian Grease, for he still did not care much for names. Now content, he drank for many years to come.
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