Magnus/Roleplays
HEROIC DEEDS AND TALES OF DARING DO!
SEND IN THE NEXT ONE THAT SAYS HE KNOWS HIS LETTERS! Magnus wipes the blood of his sword as he dictates the same report once again. The shaken old man dutifully scribbles the words down while managing to not take his eyes off the Lord Magnus, the dripping dagger in his hand, or the three former scribes littering the floor of the command pavillion. Youll do, till I kill you or I find someone better! Good scribes are so hard to find.
OLAF! OLAF! There you are! I thought you said Perdan City was the Capital? I thought you said you grew up there? I thought you said you had an inate sense of direction? But...But...Sir!( a strangled squeek then just a groan) ULFGAR! You just became my new pathfinder! And don't you dare tell me that you thought the Capital was Perdan City too!
Bah! First its scribes who cant scribe and now a pathfinder who cant path!? I twisted Olaf's head around so at least part of him is now headed the right direction! HarHahaHARhar! My new pathfinder, Ulfgar, assures me he knows the way to the REAL Capital! They may not be smart, but they can lift heavy things! No wonder Mother sent them with me, she knew they would never find there way home once they left!
OOOH! SCRIBE! Everyone suddenly seems to be diligently scouting every direction at once. Where is that thrice blasted quill-pusher? Sgt. Ulfgar! Post a notice at the next hamlet, SCRIBE WANTED!, pay and life expectancy consumate with experience and performance. Must know which end of quill goes in the inkpot and Realm protacol is a BIG plus! (Stomps off lifting rocks and kicking bushes while fingering a very large knife)
If it wouldn't be to much trouble, I seem to be between scribes again, and I need to request orders. Could you tell me who I should ask? I just want to go Bash someone (besides my own men) for Odin's sake! Stumbling along in Perdan! Magnus
Honored Sirs, Noble Ladies, ect, ect... Allow this missive in lieu of a formal introduction. I, Magnus Solarin, late of Jekel, have heard there is a lot of bashing to go round here in Pedan and would like to offer the services of myself and my squad of "pointy stick slingers". We are currently in route to the Capital to reinforce and will then set out to one of the fronts. I respectfully request to be placed into whichever battle group thingy would give us the best chance to kill, maim, or in otherwise "hurt the enemy really, really bad"! Blah blah blah (insert lots of flowery praise and thanks along with a really good "Im not worthy!") Strength and Honor Magnus Solarin
somewhere in Perdan.... ULFGAR! ULFGAR! Where is that bloody pathfinder? (The large man looks around angrily) Sir! Excuse me, Sir! Nori, if you ask me, "Are we at the Capital yet?" one more time,I swear on Odin's one good eye I'll give you a haircut you'll never have to get again! Do you see a bunch of Fops strolling around in multi colored tights? Ladies in funny pointy hats? Any old men pushin carts around, ringing bells, and yellin,"BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!" NO YOU DON'T!!! When you do thats how you'll know we're in the Capital! Anyways, it wasn't my fault they changed the Capital city and Olaf(the first pathfinder,now able to look behind him without turning around)led us toward the wrong damn one!(of course he hadn't been here in years..oh well..details details) I asked Mother for the Slayers, but NO!, she saddles me with you twinkle-toed stick-slingers and gives the good Infantry to Lars!(She always did like him best) So Nori and the rest of you just SHUT yer holes and pick up your pointy shoes and keep marchin! NOW MOVE OUT!!!
...still tramping about inner Perdan. The 4th Scribe, being somewhat smarter than the first three, handed the rather offical looking dispatch to the Flight leader, who in turn handed to the Line corporal, who gave it to one of the Lords groom. The groom, having survived longest around Lord Magnus, slipped it into his Lords' saddle bag where it wasn't found for some hours after the groom had left to find oats. WHAT! WHAT! But I just left Beascanon, thats where this all started!!! Ooh! Well, we had to go refit anyhow I suppose. ALL RIGHT! Listen up you misbegotten string-twingers! We just got orders to refit then head back the way we came! (assorted groans, moans, and a quickly stiffled question that started to sound a lot like, "Are we in the Capital yet?" Think of it this way men, we get a nice walk in the country, a visit to the big city and then we get to go back and defend hearth and home! Yes Bescanon is soon to be under attack! So move with a purpose ladies and shake a leg! On the bright side, we won't have to drag your body all the way home to put you in a proper barrow!
..... in the trackless waste of inner Perdan two sentries start to the alert
Shhh! What was that?
I dont know but you better wake up Lord Magnus I think I see someone moving this way.
GULP! But I woke him up last time its your turn!
Is not! Anyway I had to bury the scribes all by myself!
.....as the two sentries are engrossed in their conversation a rather smallish man with a portable desk under his arm strides up to them...
Excuse me you two, but where can I find the Lord Magnus?
Who es it wants to know? the first sentry asks recovering quickly form his fright.
I am the scribe Blen!(draws himself up proudly then continues)Formerly of the entourage of Lord Maelg. He was gracious enough to send me when he heard your Lord had a position open.
The two sentries stand and stare at the little man with mouths agape for a few seconds and then promptly fall to the ground helplessly in gales of laughter!!!
...middle of the night, middle of Perdan..somewhere...
The two sentries manage to help each other back to their feet. The first sentry suppresses a giggle then says,'So you lookin for the postion of scribe with Lord Mag huh?'
'I believe that IS what I said the first time, before your FIT!' the small man says afronted. 'As I also said, my name is Blen formerly of the entourage of Lord Maelg. He has apparently quite impressed with your Lord and when he heard what a dreadful time he was having finding GOOD scribes he sent ME straight way!'
'So your a GOOD scribe heh? He better be! Hey Ern?' the first sentry says to his fellow.
'Your right as right about that Bert..hehehe, You do know where the Capital is and how to send reports and letters right?' Ern replies as he looks at Blen.
'I assure you that I am well versed in the forms, functions and styles of all patents and correspondence of the Isles.' Blen says drawing himself up importantly again.
'Well then you should do just fine then, we dont have a openin for a scribe just now, but you never know when the job will...Open Up! Bert says barely suppessing a laugh.
'Yeah, you may get...A head..of the competion anytime now!' Ern snickers. 'Come on, will show you to the Man!'
....a sunny day in the rills and dales of Perdan....... Two lines of 16 men snake out behind a black palfrey upon which a man happily munches away on a haunch of mutton. His plesant repast is shattered by a shrill voice.... M'Lord! M'LORD! a smallish man with a hook nose shouts between gasp as he jogs to over take the horse. 'Oh bloody hell! Cant I even eat in peace? The big man moans. Slowing and turning in his saddle he asks,'What is it now?" Blen, red faced and thourghly disheveled, slides to a stop and begins his report,'My Lord, I am SO sorry to interupt your meal, but that poor excuse for a scribe you employ got this missive, read it,handed it to me and started off back to Partora without a word.' 'Who the BLOODY hell are you and where did you come from?!' Lord Magnus roars! 'Who let this fool into our formation? Who let him get behind me with that box of what ever it is in his hands?' Sgt. Ulfgar hold him and search that box for weapons! The Sgt. relieved of his pathfinding duties by the addition of 2 new scouts was more than happy to lift the little man from the ground while giving the box to one of the other men. 'Whats in that box Sven? Crossbow? poison? An old fashioned garrot?' The Lord asks with glee.'I knew it! When the miserable curs heard I was finally in the fight they wasted no time trying to take me out! WE GOT EM SCARED ALREADY BOYS!' The Lord rubs his hugh hand together in delight. 'Ah...Sir,its just a bunch of parchments, quills, ink, you know scribe scribble stuff.' Sven says looking like he would rather be elsewhere. 'Oh I see, your an assasin from the Scribe Guild come to get revenge for your mates aye?' Lord Magnus asks nodding shrewdly. "NO..No..no M'Lord! You have it all wrong! I have been sent into your service by my former Lord Maelg. He said you've had a dreadful time getting good help, and if the man I just met was any indication of what you've been going through I dont blame you at all for being out of sorts!" Blen manages to get out in one breath and in a remarkably calm voice for someone dangling a foot in the air!
...On the road to Perdan again...marching through the night! Lord Magnus took the report from his new scribe, Blen, the cousins, sisters, friend of someone Lord Maelg knows and scowls then gives a smile that causes the scribe to step back quickly.
'Men listen up! I got some bad news and some good news, you all know my policy so bad news first! Bescanon has fallen to the pointy-eared FARIES!"
Stunned silence, crys of outrage, and muttered threats circle throughout the men.
"Now the good news! It looks like the war is finally coming to us! We should hit Perdan just in time to give those shoemakin sissy boys some payback!" The Lord continues. "Besides I know how much you stickslingers like to shoot down from castle walls and Perdan has a REALLY large one!"
More cheers and "Death to the shoemakin sissies!" Thunder through the night!
"C'mon you twinkletoed string-twingers! MOVE OUT!"
dont think you are all seeing things the way I am.(course it could be just what my scribe is showing me) I looked at the battle report for Bescanon and despite being outmatched by 20000CS we wounded what three of thier Lords and captured the Lord Marshall? Not to mention the fact all the kills we mounted up on them just in reducing a level 2 fort! If you look at their regions behind them they are on the brink of revolt. If we could get an infiltrator or two in there we could give them something else to worry about! Always look on the brightside of life!
Anyway, I have a good NEW scribe, and my twinkle-toed string-twingers will be on the battlements with you!:)
You know what one of those ancient warrior said when told the enemies arrows blocked out the sun? Very good then, we will get to kill them in the shade!! Its all just a matter of perspective!(that and a 1000 or so troops)lol
BUCKUP PERDANIANS! MAGNUS AND HIS SILVERSHAFTS ARE WITH YOU!!! (and there was much rejoicing...YEAH!) Sir Magnus reads the letter and turns a delightfull shade of pink. Removes his bi-horned helmet, runs his fingers through his hair and mutters,"Garsh! All this time I thought Ladies were only impressed with big swords." BLEN! GET ME A QUILL AND SOME INK!
....on the road to Perdan city..
A tall Sgt. salutes yet another battlegroup leader and asks his the same question he asked of the other two who went by and again hangs his head and returns once more to tell his Lord the bad news.(Not an attractive duty or one suited to longevity)
"Well, Ulfgar, are we members of the PMR?" Lord Magnus asks full of hope.
Ulfgar,a normally very brave man, swallows nervously and shakes his head no then ducks reflexivly. The blow he expected doesnt come. Instead his Lord begins to shake and turn a brilliant shade of red that quickly runs to purple!
"BLLLEEENNNNN! Take a message and send one of those new scouts directly to the council. Make sure you get this right no foul ups with this or you know what will happen! I dont care whos sisters', couisins', friend you are!"
Esteemed Council,
It seems in all the current "excitment" in our Realm that my men and I have been overlooked and not placed into a battlegroup. Could you PLEASE get us into one! Anyone at all! WE JUST WANT TO KILL SOMETHING! (insert flowery praise and platatudes and a really good "Im not worthy here) For PERDAN!
Oh I like that Sir Sanques' style he's my kind of Viking! "BLLLEEEEENNN" Put him on my "I want to rape and pillage with this guy list!"
Why Maelg I have lots of list, here are just a few.
Friends I have made.(Short, but your tops on this one!)
People I dont like.(Noscribing scribes near the top!)
People I REALLY dont like.(Pointy-ears longhaired farie-types #1)
Guys I want to Rape and Pillage with.(Your on this one too of course!)
Places I'd like to raze to the ground!(Oh just guess where #1 is)
By the way you will be happy to know that you cousins', sisters', friend or whatever, Blen is actually a fairly good scribe. Yes he does still has his liver, but his stomach Im not so sure about!(he's a little on the squeemish side) Why he has outlasted the other 3 or was it 4? aw I lose track, all put together! I dont know why you sent him too me but you have done me a great service and one I will not forget. LETS GO MAKE BLOOD EAGLES TOGETHER SOMETIME!
Ok OK! Since my good friend Maelg is intrigued I will tell you!(I couldnt wait anymore anyway..hehehe..giggle..giggle)Hhrrum hrrum. Magnus looks around sheepishly then contiunes.
ADVISORY: THE FOLLOWING IS A TRUE HISTORICAL FACT OF GRAPHIC NATURE PARENTS OF SMALL CHILDREN AND POINTY-EARED FAIRY-TYPES ARE STRONGLY CAUTIONED
AH, when I was but a wee lad, Da would take Lars, my younger brother and I(mother always liked him best), out into the woods bordering Sirion. When we would come across any of those skinny tree-hugging types we'd kill'em(Of course) and then to send them a message not to mess with the "Big smelly men in the funny horned hats" we would make blood eagles. A traditional Viking blood eagle is an artistic as well as terrifing warning to our enemies. You see what you do is:
Kill your enemy.(Not essential before you start,but ok)
Split them from throat to gullet. Reach in and pull out both lungs, heart, liver and stomach and place on top of body.
Artfully arrange organs into the form of an eagle!
Wha-Lah!
Ah, those fond memories of family outings still bring warmth to my heart and a tear to my eye.(sniff..sniff) Obviously, the practice seems to have fallen by the wayside as the sissies of Sirion are now on our soil! I think its time to revive the custom. In the interst of morale and esprit-de-corps only of course! Magnus grins evily!
Remember the enemy of my enemy may be my friend, but their both dead if they mess with PERDAN!
Ah my fair Evangeline I regret any offense I have rendered to your tender senses. I assure you my goal was only to instruct on the finer points of old Viking culture not to offend you dear Lady!Magnus doffs his helm, and bows low from the waist Please accept my deepest, most sincere, and humble apology.(I did post an advisory warning) I would gladly make it up to you any way I could. Is there anyone you need killed or at least maimed?
Eternally at your service
HEY! This may be the start of something big Maelg. We could start the "NORLAND BLOOD EAGLE ARTISTS GUILD"!!! We could hold exhibts and compitions! We could give out prizes for most artistic, most bloody, best use of organs, ect! We could drink lots of mead and REALLY mess some Sissies Up!
YARR-HARR-HARR!
BLLEEN! Where's my axe, the REALLY BIG one? WHHOOO!
Lady Evangeline,
I seem to have mispoke again.("Blen did you write that apology the way I told you?) My Lady, your sword arm, your stomach for the fight, nor your ability to wage war on your foes, was never in question. I know full well as a Shield Maiden of Perdan you are a match for any 5 nay 10 of the Fairy folk. I was mearly offering to be of service so you would not have to sully your sword with the blood of foes so far beneth your station. Again my most humble of apologies.
Helm in Hand
Well thats a happy thought, no taxes this week. Aw well I guess its just less for the Tree-huggers to try and pickpocket! I was hoping for a few more coin befor our competition though. Not that I think Ill need to buy mind you! I was just wanting to get you an "OFFICAL MAGNUS BLOOD EAGLE AXE AND KNIFE SET"(coming soon to descriminating shops and weaponsmiths near you! )before our first contest. Well there's always Yule I suppose. It is the thought that counts after all. Perhaps Mum will get the rest of my birthright to me by then.
Whats keepin the BLOODY sun anyhow?!! The large man strides toward the gate house of Perdan City attracted by the thunderous rattle of chain as the drawbridge is slowly being winched up.
"WHAT IN THE ALL-FATHERS' NAME ARE YOU DOING MAN!" Lord Magnus bellows at the Sgt of the Guard.
The grizzled veteran turns with a look that would melt steel then starts and visibly pales. "LLL..ord Magnus, Sir we didnt realise you were inside the city already!" the man stammers.
"Bloody good thing too by the looks of this goat rope! What are you doing closing the bridge, we have more troops coming in?" the Lord asks.
"Ah, ha ah, we were just testing the mechinisms M'Lord, they have to be ready in a moments notice in case the Sirions arrive you know." The Sgt explains.
"Well, good thinkin Sgt. I like a man of initiative, if you ever need a real job come look me up. Now QUIT MAKEING THAT RACKET! I have drinkin to do be for Lord Maelg gets here and your giving me a headache I havent earned yet!
And with that Lord Magnus turns and strides away not seeing the visible relief of the now slightly more grizzeled and grayed Sgt.
...inside one of the finer (dive) public houses in Perdan City...
"BLLEEECHH! What worthless excuse for mead." Lord Magnus grumbles to Sgt. Ulfgar as he rises unsteadyly to his feet. "Well we waited all morning for Lord Maelg an he never arriiv...arrifed...got here! (hic) C'mon Ulfgar lets go find a place to lay down that i'nt movin so fasss..fast."
"Ulfgar, Ulfgar??" Magnus looks around and spies his Sgt. under the table he just got up from. "Heh heh, poor fella cant old is mee..mmee...Honey liquor!"
"Well gotta fina a rum...rooooomm..hehehe.. MEMEME haha Ulfgar did you close the shutters its getin dar.....
A thunderous crash splits the silence and then only PONDEROUS snores!
Hail Estor!
Welcome to Perdan! Well its like my Da use to say,"The bees always come were there's the most honey!" If pointy-eared, treehuggin, fairy types are the honey then we definately have the most around! It certainly is glad to have another "bee" for once!
Afore you think Im a crass oaf(still open to debate at times, just not right now)let me say that I too lost my Father at a young age. But he passed on to me a way of getting back at our enemies and making a statment not to mess with us at the same time!
Have you ever heard of a BLOOD EAGLE?! If you get to Perdan City before the mead runs out(or the twinkle-toed tree lovers bring it down around our ears) look me up and I'll tell ya all about them!
Welcome again,
HA! Just like a bunch of tree-huggin fairy types. Out number somebody 3 to 1 and still afraid of us! Magnus laughs.
....with that Lord Magnus climbs to the top of the battlements facing Bescanon turns round drops is trousers and "farts in the general direction" of the Sirion sissies.
"That's all we think of you! YOU BOOT BUILDIN PANSIES!" the Lord screams. Then he mutters to know one in particular,"Actually that was a waste of a really good bit a wind." HARHARHAR!
....on the walls of Perdan overlooking the practice yard...
Sir, Sir, Sir Magnus! Ulfgar calls and finally has to shake his Lord in order to gain his attention.
"What? Oh its you Ulfgar. Sorry I was just enthralled by that Shield Maiden down in the courtyard." Magnus says, a funny look on his face.
"Aye Sir, she be a very winsome lass for true!" Ulfgar looks and agrees.
"Oh yes, yes I totally agree, but I was talking about the way she works that sword! A thing of pure beauty I tell ya and I've seen quite a few blademasters in my time." Magnus tells the Sgt. while turning back to watch the woman weave through yet another intricate attack routine.
"She is VERY comely though Sir!" Ulfgar reminds his Lord.
"Ya I know but, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and right now that beauty be holding three feet of steel and she certainly knows how to use it!" Magnus smiles. "I must find out her name! Maybe Maelg knows of her."
"Perhaps she'd like me to show her how to make BLOOD EAGLES! Magnus says a little louder than he intended excited by his idea.
The woman below must have heard because she looks up to where the two men are watching. Ulfgar starts to say something but it comes out as a strangled cough as Magnus hauls him away from the edge before they are seen.
I'll have you know I was just admiring her sword work! I think I'm to barbaric for her. I think Falcion may be trying to horn in though,"Tall figure with long hair blowing in the wind" I mean, are wenches really attracted to that kind of stuff anyway? Jeesh!
I'll have you know I was just admiring her sword work! I think Magnus to barbaric for her. I think Falcion may be trying to horn in though,"Tall figure with long hair blowing in the wind" I mean, are wenches really attracted to that kind of stuff anyway? Jeesh!
As the Lords Magnus and Maelg stride off towards the nearst pub Magnus spies his men lounging around doing much of nothing.
"WHAT DO YOU BUNCH OF SILLY SHAFT-SLINGERS THINK YOUR DOING?" "SERGEANT ULFGAR, YOU SHOULD BE HERE ALREADY!!" Magnus bawls over the din of the city.
Sergeant Ulfgar appears as if by magic infront of his Lord.
"Ulfgar, I want you to make these nancy boys sweat! I want there little fingers to have blisters on their callouses!" Magnus fumes.
"What kind of training Sir?" Ulfgar asks.
"AAARRRMMMYY TRAINING SON!" The Lord replies,"Now get to it, if the arrows ain't rain'in we ain't train'in!"
"Ah yes and the Lord Maelg and I wont be training with you just now we have important "Lordship matters" to discuss" and with that both Lords walk away.
"YA HERD IM YOU LOT GET WI IT NOW!" and "lets just hope he drinks hisself into a better mood a fore he comes back." Ulfgar says to himself.
...inside the 'Maimed Segull' in Perdan city....
Magnus watches his Sheild Brother stumble out in to the streets and shakes his head and says to no one in particular,
"Poor drunken sot, he's smitten I tell you! Not good for the mead crying in it like that an all, waters it down!" Magnus looks in Maelg forgotten cup but finds it empty. "Well at least he didn't waste any of it."
Magnus starts to stretch out onto the suddenly very comfortable looking table when a shrill voice interrupts him,
"SIR SIR! We have orders SIR!" Blen bleats as he rushes into the Inn.
Lord Magnus snaps erect, the effect of which causes the large man to sway a bit but he soon rights himself and shaking off the effect of the mead glares at Blen saying, "Well out with it quill-boy what are they and where away!"
"SIR these are just in from the new Lord Marshall, there is a group of monsters attacking the Perdan Mines and he wants 1500CS of archers to deal with them! He wants us Sir!" Blen reads the message and then turns whiter than any sheet to be found in the Maimed Seagull!
"BLOODY A RIGHT! SILVERSHAFTS TO ARMS! ULFGAR! ULFGAR!" the Sergeant pulls himself from under a nearby table and rises unsteadily holding his head as Magnus continues to roar,"GET THEM ROUNDED UP AND GET'EM OUT THE GATE THERE ARE MONSTERS TO SLAY AND GLORY TO WIN!!!"
With that Magnus grabs up 'Foe-Cleaver' while rushing out the door and can be heard singing a tune that sounds a lot like,"I wish that I had Maelgs' girl..I wish that I had Maelgs' girl....
....On the road to Perdan Mines......
Blen the scribe hands Lord Magnus a new patent of appointment. Magnus scowls at the scribe and hands it back. Blen clears his throat and reads,
To all in the Realm and Environs of Perdan Be it know that as of this day, Lord Magnus Solarin and all retainers, vassals,ect are hearby and henceforth members of the PERDAN CRIMSON WING! Lord Magnus you are charged to follow all orders of the Nobles,Dukes,Marshalls as appointed over you as commanders by the Crown and to uphold the highest standards of the service!
The King
"Well there you see Blen its like I told you, won't be long till we move up in the Realm." Magnus grins with satisfaction.
"But why the PCW sir it clearly says in the Realm statues that all new TL's are suppose to go into the PGR?" Blen ask his Lord.
"They must of heard how good my BLOOD EAGLES are of course, I mean really how more appropriate a unit for me than PERDAN CRIMSON WING is there, I mean really!" Magnus replies to his trusty and miraculously still living scribe.
....on the road to the Mines....
"Ulfgar go to the back of the line and start "Motivating" those sluggards! Use the flat of your sword if you have to!" Lord Magnus growls to his Sergeant.
"Aye Sir, but the men have been running most of the night!"Ulfgar replies.
"I DON'T BLOODY WELL CARE IF THEY BEEN RUNNING SINCE ODIN TRADED HIS EYE!" Magnus screams the Sergeants' quickly retreating backside.
"We got less than TWO BLEEDIN HOURS till sunrise and by Thors' Flyin Goats I intend to spit monsters with my breakfast!" "COME ON MOVE YOUR ARSES YOU POINTY SHOE WEARING SHAFT-SLINGERS!" Magnus bellows and then puts his horned helmed head down and begins to speed up to a jog!
Muttered groans and gasps for breath is his only reply
........BATTLE OF THE BEASTS.......
The morning is misty a wind blowing it in from the sea, their vision dimished the line of Perdan defenders start at every sound. Suddenly the men hear howls and ragged breathing of some great beast! The men become uneasy, looking around wildly trying to find the source of the sounds. Suddenly one of the men point to the west, a hugh pair of horns appears over the crest of a small hill the ragged breaths get louder and closer! Some of the younger men begin to shift nervously a few notch arrows! Then they see THEM! Red faces distorted into grotesque masks! The tromp of many feet clearly heard!...
"OH BLOODY HELL!" The Troop leader curses and relaxing says,"Dont shoot you fools its just Magnus and his SilverShafts!" The defends relax and a few give chuckles and very scattered cheers(they havent met him yet).
"Did-we-miss-them? Did-you-Killem-all-already?" Magnus puffs sliding to a hault. His men being driven over the crest by Sergeant Ulfgar look close to colapse but proud to have kept up with their Lord.
"WE AINT SEEN NO BEASTIES BUT YOU LOT!" A voice calls out of the mist followed by good natured laughter.
"Well good!" Magnus says cheerfully then continues,"Because I didnt run all the way hear to turn around WITHOUT KILLIN SOMETHING!" The laughter however good natured abruptly cutoff!
....TO BE CONTINUED>>>>
..............BATTLE OF THE BEASTS..PART DEUX.........
"Alright Magnus since I have the largest unit here I have taken situational command." States Lord PaulM striding up to Magnus.
"Well I dont know about the size of your "unit" but since you have the most men,Im ok with you being in charge." Magnus says with a grin. Several more chuckles respond from the mist.
"Oh you are insufferable! Just take your place in the line. I hope your unit is a sharp as your tongue!" Realizing his mistake a bit to late PaulM closes his eyes and winces waiting for the inevitable retort.
"I've never had any complaints about the sharpness of my "unit", or my tongue either! Magnus Roars! The SilverShafts begin to laugh uproarously."Come on you lot, Over here looks like a good place to Kill from!" Magnus motions his men from to the North.
"What an uncouth BARBARIAN!" Lord Paul fumes to his Sergeant.
A rough,"THANK YOU M'LORD!" wafts back to him on the mist.
......TO Be continued....
........BATTLE OF THE BEASTS...THE FINAL CHAPTER?......
The sun begins to crest the forest at the far end of the field in front of the short line of Perdan defenders. The sun blazes into veiw and as if upon that signal the foul beast break from the trees with howls of anger!(Not Magnus this time!)On they come mishappen bodies seemingly a cross between men and great beast! Beastial heads on powerful bodies forced forward at amazing speed upon legs ending with cloven hooves. A scattering of weapons, Pikes, Halbers, Billaxes held in human-like hands others with just claws longer than daggers.
Lord Paul steps forward and calls in his battlefield voice,"Archers at the ready!" The call relayed by the Sergeants."Archers Noch!" again relayed down the line. "ARCHERS STAND AND DELIVER!!!" And with that command dozens of clothyard shafts arched from the line of defenders and into the raging beast. Three of the leading rampaging beasts go down under a flurry of arrows, but many fall short!
"BLAST YOUR SHODDY BOWS!" Magnus screams!"Get your arses down to the bottom of the hill we got to get closer!" The Miners flank him as the SilverShafts step forwand as one man.
The beasts moving with inhuman speed are with in paces of the defenders when Magnus gives the order,"FIRE AT WILL!"
Some of the beast stagger but keep on coming the Miners wheel and take them in the flank and the crash is deafening! "HOLD YOUR FIRE! YOULL HIT OUR BLOODY TROOPS!"Magnus screams as the infantry mixes with the beasts. Combatant fall on both sides but the line is holding. Suddenly a wolf-headed beast breaks the line and races for the archers. Lord Magnus Screams,"BESCANON!" and leaps forward.
..............BATTLE OF THE BEASTS.........THIS IS IT I PROMISE!.....
The beast stabbs at Magnus with its rusty spear. Magnus meets its thrust with his Great Axe 'FOE-CLEAVE' snapping the shaft and lets the monster stare bewildered at the now three foot long pole in its hand but only for a moment. Magnus plants his forward foot after the block and pivoting on it takes the monster in the throat with a vicious backhand blow almost severing its head.
Hearing a roar of rage behind him Magnus continues his turn in time to take a downstroke from a mace on the haft of his axe. A beast with goat horns sprouting from its head holding mace and shield, bellows at Magnus. The pair circle each other. They come together, Magnus delivers a mighty clanging blow to the shield while the beast rings the Lords' helm with its mace! They seem to both like this somewhat musical arrangment and do it again! On the third chorus, the clanging note of the shield turns to a high pitched scream as 'FOE-CLEAVER' lives up to its name and splits shield, goat horn, head and body of the beast coming to a rest in breastbone, STUCK!
Magnus places a big boot on the creatures' corpse and works feverously to free FOE-CLEAVER. A third beast breaks through the line and seeing him as easy meat rushes toward Magnus still straining to free his Axe! Giving up Magnus draws his Dagger and crouching turns to face the onrushing foe!
Three strides from Magnus the beast trips in the gore of its fellow and falls forward on its face. Magnus seizing the opening jumps upon the fallen beast and stabs it repeatedly with dagger and horned helm until it shudders and dies. The Lord rolls over exhausted covered with blood but smiling as the thunder of the calvary drown out the crys of the dying. "Well thats 3-0 Maelg!" He says rising!
"There goes another rat leaving a sinkin ship!" Magnus says to Ulfgar after reading the Bill of Landings and Departings at the Emmigration Office.
"In this case M'Lord, I hope its a rat leaving BY a sinking ship!" Ulfgar growls back.
Magnus looks open mouthed at his normally tacturn Sergeant at Arms and burst out into gales of laughter."HARHARAA! BY ODIN's BLIND EYE YOU CALLED THAT ONE ULFGAR!"
And clapping the startled Sergeant on his back the two warriors set off down the street.
Perdan City....
Lord Magnus, seated on top of the North Gatehouse tower, is running a stone over the edge of 'FOE-CLEAVER' without much conviction. The monotony of the day is broken only by the regular "THWAP, THWAP, THWAP" of arrows into the target billets. If his men cant fight by Thor they'll train. His solitude is suddenly broke by Blen the scribe running up excitedly.
Sir, a letter, a letter from your brother Lars in Norland!" Blen chatters holding out the scroll.
Magnus takes the letter in his excitement and reads,
Hail Magnus! I can only hope my missive finds you well and with many a BLOOD EAGLE to your credit. I and my Slayers have aquired a new Trebuchet and are currently head towards glorious battle in the east against the Horseloving Estons! Mother said for you to wear you wool socks at night and to keep your helm on in battle. Well write back if you have any scribes left! Your Little Brother Lars
"HOW THE BLOODY HELL DID HE GET THE MONEY FOR A TREBUCHET!" Magnus yells at he empty tower roof Blen wisely leaving when his Lords color began to change. "Mother always did like him best, Little runt!" Magnus moans then says,"Of course he get to kill someone too, Just my bleedin luck!"
...Still on top of the Gatehouse in Perdan City...
Magnus balled the letter up in his hands and heaved it off the tower his eyes following its flight to the ground he spied the beautiful Sheild Maiden from the practice yard two nights past and the memory of sweat glistening on tan skin leaped unbidened to his mind. The big man blushed.
She stared up at him looking startled for only a moment, probably from my bellowing Magnus thought to himself, then turned on her heel and strode away.
Oh silly oaf! No look what you've done scared her off again. Stupid! Stupid! Just as well I guess, would have got all tongue tied probably anyway, she being so good with a sword and beautiful and all. Beside, she's married to Maelg my Shield Brother of the First Order and Commander this Viking has a code about such things!
"It would be nice though if I see be around her at least once without makin a bloody fool out of meself, Magnus said glumly to no one in particular.
Remember, like my Great Aunt Hildegarde use to say, its not the size of your "unit" it how long you can keep it in the field! But in our case it's begining to look like those Pointy-eared tree-huggin Sissies will be walkin funny when were done with them!!!
Houses of healing, Perdan City....
Uuughh! OOOOO! Ohhh!...
"Sir? Sir? Lord Magnus are you awake?" Blen asks then gets up and walks to the bed but stops out of arms reach. Getting no answer, he takes a short pole and prods Magnus in the side.
"TO ARMS! TO ARMS! TREE-HUGGERS IN THE BAILEY!" Magnus bellows sitting upright in bed then winces and grabs his head with both hands and winces harder. He opens one eye, spies Blen looking calm and asks,"We arent under attack?"
"No M'lord, you are safe in the houses of healing. You took a grave blow to the head during your duel with Lady Evangeline and lay on deaths door for the last four days." Blen states calmly.
"Four days? Duel with Lady who? Blow to my head? Your daft man! I had a duel with that Falcion fellow, the one always up on the walls and while he does have long hair that tends to blow in the wind, I assure you he aint no lady!" Magnus state flatly then continues,"Bloody man wouldnt hold still at all, just kept running around weaving those two swords of his together like he was the nightmare contraption of some mad engineer or something!" Magnus' eyes grow wide as rememberance dawns. "Blen I did have a nightmare, a horrible one. You see there was this Wizard and he made all these copies of Falcion and then the shrunk em to about two inches tall. Then, he put each one into this big glass jar into which he would then put vegetables into!"
"Vegetables Sir?" Blen asks astounded.
"Yeah, tomatoes,rhutabagas and what have you, and these little Falcions would chop em up into itty-bitty pieces! It was horrible! Then the worst part Blen... Magnus pauses and swallows hard..the Wizard shrunk me to the size of a turnip and dangled me over a jar he said I was condemed to.....DEATH BY CUIZINART!!" Magnus shudders and lays back down pulling the covers up close about him.
back in the healers house....
Magnus pokes his head out from under the covers and looks around the room. Blen looks up expectantly. Magnus motions the little man over and sits up slowly this time. "Earlier you said something about a duel with a Lady?" Magnus asks Blen softly. "Yes M'Lord, the Lady Evangeline to be exact." Blen smile appreciatively.
"I dont know anyone by that name." Magnus looks down trying to remember then smiles devilishly. "I had another dream Blen! This one was wonderous! It was about a Shield Maiden about so tall(hold up hand the right height) flowing brown hair, striking eyes, and with the most beautiful tanned skin that "glistened" like dew upon the meadows in the morning!" Magnus gazes off dreamily, then says,"She's prettier than an new axe fresh from the fire! I only wish I had really met her Blen!"
"But you did Sir!" Blen exclaimed!"You have described Lady Evangeline perfectly and you met her with Lord Maelg at the 'Maimed Seagul' she is his wife Sir!"
"Maelg has a wife? The girl in the training yard with the "glistening" skin was his wife?" Magnus asked with a look of horror spreading on his face. "Blen, had I been drinking at the Seagull?"
"Of course Sir."
"Blen had I been drinking a lot at the Seagull?"
"Ahhh..Of course Sir!"
"Ohwww, Blen what did I do?" Magnus groans.
"Well you see Sir it all started after you left the dueling grounds with the second of Lord Falcion, Cedrick I believe, you went to the Seagull and .....
You know where by now....
Blen continues, "As I was saying Sir, Cedrick, Falcions' second was most concerned that you get your wound attended to, but you kept saying things like,"Tis but a flesh wound!" and "I've h'd worse!" He insisted though and dressed your wound himself. You in turn thanked him and invited him in to the Seagull. He accepted and accompanied us inside. Lord Maelg was at the usual table near the fireplace.", Blen looks down his nose at Magnus then continues,"He greeted you and started to ask about your first duel then saw your arm and began to smile. Sir in all honesty his Lordship was deep in his cups and Im sure he didn't mean to tease you so badly.
"Oh well, I had it coming I suspect." Magnus agreed glumly and motioned Blen to continue.
"Well anyway the two of you started to play a drinking game Lord Maelg made up called Lions, you see you take a coin of the realm and try to bounce it into a small cup Sir. It takes a modicum of skill to be sure.
"And I was very good at this game hey Blen!" Magnus smiled sure of himself.
"Ah..Not really Sir, although Lord Maelg was quite skilled! He made most of his shots which ment you had to drink each time Sir." Blen smiled.
"Did we drink a lot Blen?
"Of course Sir!"
"Were we drinking Mead Blen?"
"No Sir some vile stuff called Vultures' Spleen Vodka!" Ghastly stuff Blen shudders. "Well after a couple of hours the Lady Evangeline comes looking for Sir Maelg. You were quite smitten Sir."
"Ohhhh! Did I talk to her?" Magnus looks down.
"Oh yes Sir"
"Did I insult her?" Magnus winces and wait for the inevitable.
"Why of course not Sir" Blen replies and Magnus' head jerks up in supprise.
"No Sir you were quite vocal in your praise of the Ladies, hair, her eyes, her swordsmanship, what a lucky man Lord Maelg was to have her for a wife and you were very vocal about how nice her skin "glistened" after her drill." Blen said smiling.
"Lady Evangeline asked, "dont you want to see my glistening skin upclose?" To which you replied, "Service am I always at you M'lady!" And proceeded to get up.
Magnus groans putting his head in his hands and waits for Blen to continue.
A scribe of the houses of healing approaches and gives Magnus this note:
Returned to active duty (just in) You have returned to active duty. You are still in Perdan.
Now PLEASE leave Sir! You are disturbing the other Patients, we are out of alcohol both consumable and medicianal, and the food is really low.
...Perdan City, now OUTSIDE the houses of healing......
Blen continues his narrative. "Well Sir you got up and staggered towards her Ladyship with a grin on your face and your arms out stretced." "I was going to give her a hug?" Magnus moans. "It would have appeared so M'lord." "I didnt, did I?" Magnus asked averting his gaze from Blen.
"Oh no Sir! Lady Evangeline said the only way you were going to get that close to her was in combat Sir. I believe her words were,"The only time I let a bear get that close to me is when Im fighting it!" Blen remembered then continued,"You Sir said what an excellent idea and taking it as a challenge, accepted her challenge to a duel!" "Well Sir she laughed and said she did duel drunks, and to come back when you sobered and grew up!" Well Sir eveyone was having a very good laugh until you tore the leg off the table.
"I tore the leg off a table?" Magnus asked incredulous.
"Oh yes Sir, but it was off of one of the smaller tables!" Blen says nodding reassuringly. Well any way Lady Evangeline smiled and said all right if you needed a switching like a child, she was the woman to spank you! So she pick up a stout crudgel and you to began to wack at each other quite vigerously. Magnus moans and shakes his head, then motions Blen to get it over with.
"Things were going fine, you were really to drunk to hit her Sir and she was laughing and having a great time smacking you on your buttocks and your helmet which ever presented its self to her. Mostly the latter Sir as you were quite drunk even for you!" Blen smiles and continues. "It was all going fine until that poor cat got in the way."
"What cat are you talking about Blen?" Magnus asked raising his head.
"The large tabby cat you stepped in Sir." Blen replied.
"You mean I stepped on."
"Oh no Sir, stepped in, you mad quite a puddle of it Sir and it was actually that cat that was your downfall, literally Sir." Blen says.
"What do you mean Blen?"
"Well Sir, the Lady had struck you a resounding blow upon your helm which skewed it down over your eyes, you backpeddled blind for the moment stepped and slipped in the poor cat. You almost righted yourself Sir till you triped over the now three-legged table infront of the fireplace. You fell Sir, lost your helm on your way down and impacted fullspeed into the stone fireplace! Everyone thought it was very funny after you stood up and smiled, till you fell back down again!
Cedrick check you think you were just drunk and realized you we seriously wounded. The Watch came and was going to run us all in to the dungeon for a "unsactioned duel in a public place" till Cedrick stepped forward and said he was an offical second and that it was sanctioned. Lady Evangeline was quite disraught Sir over your injury and has visited you many times during you illness and sent many inquiries.
"So she really likes me and does care about me!" Magnus face lights up with a dreamy expression.
"Oh I dont think so Sir, she just felt responsible for your injury I suspect." Blen replies as Magnus looks crushed.
Roleplay from Magnus Message sent to everyone in your realm (141 recipients) A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT BROUGHT TO YOU BY MAGNUS SOLARIN INC.
Warriors, do your BLOOD EAGLES lack the panache of others? Do you ever wonder how the older guys get such great extention with their wings? Has your dagger lost is edge? You newbees, do you want to learn to make BLOOD EAGLES the "right" way from the men who started it all?
Friends, if you answered yes to any of these questions then look no further! You've found the answer! You dont have to spend your hard earned gold on expensive, "artistic lessons" all you need is:
THE OFFICAL MAGNUS SOLARIN BLOOD EAGLE MAKING KIT!!!!(c)
Yes my brothers and sisters you too can make BLOOD EAGLES just like the men who started the craze, Magnus and Maelg! Here is an unsolicited testimoninal:
Maelg says,"I never got the extention of the lungs, or was able to place the kidneys so high unitl I started using the "OFFICAL MAGNUS SOLARIN BLOOD EAGLE KIT"! "THANKS SHIELD BROTHER!"
Whether your a grizzled vetern or green newbee just learning which end of the sword is which, Magnus can help make your BLOOD EAGLES better!
For the small sum of 10 Golden Lions, you to can get this fine 5 piece selection of artistic cutting instruments in a beautiful Sirion oak case! Only 10 gold to make your BLOOD EAGLES the envy of your family and friend!
BUT DONT ORDER YET! Today with every order you receive a free OFFICAL MAGNUS SOLARIN HORNED HELM! Just like the one Magnus "use" to wear and made famous the island over! And as a special bonus for the first 50 orders, you get a FREE autographed copy of a sketch done of Magnus and Maelg as featured in "WENCHES GONE WILD MAGAZINE" when they covered Maelgs' blow-out birthday bash!
So there you go warriors of Perdan, for the low, low price of 10 Golden Lions, you get the "OFFICAL MAGNUS SOLARIN BLOOD EAGLE KIT", the "OFFICAL MAGNUS SOLARIN HORNED HELM" and the autographed sketch of Magnus and Maelg the men who started it all!
ORDER NOW, SUPPLIES ARE GOING FAST!
make all bond transfers in the amount of 25 gold as that is the smallest that can be sent! I'll send back your change HONEST!
Magnus (Imperial Knight)
