Madigan Family/Dayne The Bastard Bard
Dayne The Bastard Bard
Also called, mostly by his own tongue, Dayne the Beautiful, Dayne the Dashing, and Dayne the Bold, the bastard of the Madigan Family followed his less ambitious brother Aurelius to Thalmarkin, hoping to profit in the Fifth Invasion.
Though adequate with a blade and exploring, Dayne is a skilled singer and lute player, gifted with flowery words and given to the simple pleasures in life. He wanders about the lands of Thalmarkin, singing and jesting for coin, deflowering maidens, and maintain an air of impenetrable idiocy.
During one lengthy stay in the Netherworld prisions, Dayne wrote the first two of the following songs which earned him a torture at the hands of the Overlord. However, to his honor, it also saw him permanently housed in the Ducal Palace of Unger as the Bard to Duke Dunbor Lorganson. He preformed The Savior of the North before the assembled troops of Melhed and Thalmarkin before their battle with the Overlord. The scribes of the city have noted that the rate at which bastards are being born to the women of the city has increased noticeably since the arrival of the Bard.
The Songs of Dayne the Bard
The Overlady's Dilemma
Once my Overlord came to me
And said my dear, pray harken and see
A son I need, a priest he will be
To rescue me from lock and key.
So he hefted his spear and leapt astride
And with his paltry instrument trust inside
Scare a minute had passed or less besides
Til the Overlord finished his premature ride.
Now nine months later it was plain and clear
A little foul beast had grown in here
I asked for his name and was shocked to hear
"1st Son - of many to be born, my dear"
Now many years later and my body ails
You'd think after nine sons his ardor would fail
But my Overlord still lifts his tiny tail
To make those wicked sons to save him from jail.
How I wish I had a strong and handsome mate
Like King Fingolfin, the Fiercesome and Great
But instead I have this beastly husband I hate
With a great fat gut and a balding pate.
So gentlemen of the realm please harken to me
And listen to the Overlady, sad as can be:
You're all tired of these son, its plain to see
Well try bouncing NINE on your poor old knee.
The Savior of the North
(Sung in the style of The Rains of Castamere)
Who shall face me, said the demon lord,
Who seeks deliverance to death?
No mortal man shall rise to me
None that shall draw breath.
But with a shining sword
and heart of steel,
Sir Darius stood bold and tall
The Dawn refused to kneel.
And so he laughed, and so he laughed
the Darkness of the North
But now we sit atop his skull
As Unger's sons go forth.
And who are you, the darkness roared,
What fool dares challenge me?
"A son of Thalmarkin", the knight replied
"From whose blade you will flee!"
In battle joined the two crossed arms,
the Darkness and the Day
And with a true thrust of his bright blade
The evil he did slay.
And so he laughed, and he laughed,
The Bringer of the Morn.
For his sword had fetched a prize
A fine head for Unger to adorn!
