Dielo Sends Da Hat to Desert
In this episode, Dielo is sending Da Hat (a relic of Redspan) to Desert Crusader, a descendent of Tony Malone, original wearer of Da Hat. See Da Hat for the original story. Written 2/21/13
Dielo stroked his beard thoughtfully. He was on the march back out of Strombran to the front of battle, all the way up in Nazia. He didn't care for the trek, nor did he particularly care for assisting the Cagilans, but it paid, and the ex-Cagilans of Strombran put up with him, and they let his men ride specially bred war-goats into battle (they were larger than normal and trained to jab enemies in the arse with their horns). As he was leaving the city, a messenger arrived with a report from his son, Jovyl. The overview of the church was well and fine, but Dielo almost spit out his ale when he read the last bit about Count Desert (he didn't actually spit it out, because it was Strombran Extra-Stout and very, VERY tasty...wasting any would have been a shame).
A living relative of Tony had surfaced? This was most fascinating news. And that meant that there was a proper heir...
"DIETMUND!!!" the aged ex-Redspaniard bellowed, "What did you do with my chest of old battledresses?!"
"Sir?" the confused steward asked.
"My battledresses. Especially my lucky battledress - the old blue and black number. I told you when I found this wonderful robe that I wanted to break it in properly, but I didn't want to travel without my dresses, just in case. Now where are they?"
"Sir, I believe they are on the supply cart."
"That does me about as much good as having an empty tankard and being told that there's a full keg in the next town! Go get the chest!"
A few minutes later, Dietmund had returned with an old, battered chest that looked as old as Dielo was. "Ah. Good man," Dielo said, satisfied with the condition of the chest. "Now, look inside it for Da Hat. It should be carefully stowed inside the folds of the blue and black dress. It is very important that it be returned to its rightful owner." Dietmund rummaged around until he pulled out one extremely beat up, dingy, pointed hat.
"Urrghhh...why on earth do you have a manky old hat in here, sir?" Dietmund exclaimed.
"DA Hat," Dielo roared. "It is not merely a manky old hat, it is DA HAT! Do not ever disrespect it! I have been carrying it ever since King Tony Malone last departed from Atamara. It can only be worn by a true heir, or by a true believer of Da Tale of Da Hat on a Moste Goatly occasion. An heir has emerged, so it must be returned to him, rather than be carried by me, a mere believer. You are lucky that I am in a good mood, so I am allowing you the honor of carrying it to him. Now make haste to Werdham. Do not show anyone Da Hat on your way. Do not discuss your mission with anyone but Count Desert himself."
Dietmund confirmed that he understood, gathered a few supplies, and rode off on the fastest goat in the company towards the southeast. Dielo wiped away a tear as he watched Da Hat leave his keeping. It had been a true honor to be Da Caretaker of Da Hat, and he only hoped that it would not be long before he could see Da Hat worn by its rightful owner.
