Atamara Independent/Issue 9

From BattleMaster Wiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The Atamara Independent
"If ya read it here, ya knows it's da troot'!"


Head Editor: Ole
Junior Editors: Sven, Lars, Lars

Issue 9

NEWS FLASH!!!

KING AMAARENT SCHEDULED TO BE OVERTHROWN IN 12 HOURS TIME

King Amaarant, da long-time king a Darka, is havin' his overt'row arranged even as we speak. Apparantly da General an' Dukes are fellin' pretty confidnet after ridin' roughshod over da horseriders a Eston, an' are ready ta be kings an' queens demselves.

It was also said dat dey were priddy tired a followin' a drag queen. "It ain't the fact that he's a drag queen so much," said one anonymous duke rumored ta be Duke Grumbar, "as the awful dresses he wears."

Da rebellion was originally scheduled fer yesterday, but Duke Mr_Jones had a birt'day party ta go ta, an' couldn't guar'ntee he could get online in time.

Story by our Atamara Affairs Correspondent Sven

12 NEW URL HACKS!"
MAKE YOUR CHAR THE BEST WITH THESE GREAT CHEATS!

Read them on this exciting blog.

http://tinyurl.com/cbeanm

story by Lars (no, da odder one)



The "URL HACKS" refers to a spate of new bug issues, such as this, http://bugs.battlemaster.org/view.php?id=4885 and two others that are marked private for developers, which were the "inspiration" for the story.

The picture is Princess Lucky of Norland, an NPC well-known to many people in the game. She is clothed, and simply looking amorously at a man. Are you implying that fat women are somehow "disturbing" to look at?

The joke is that people who follow the link hoping to learn how to cheat in the game instead get a nice photo of Princess Lucky.

As you can see, every point is perfectly related to the game. This is clearly marked as an OOC paper, and has a long history of this type of "story".

Just because you don't understand something doesn't give you the right to censure it. I wonder where someone who was recruited to help convert to the Semantic Wiki thinks they have the right to censure anything, anyway.

As for looking past my OOC rudeness, I don't think someone who brought us such gems as "beaten more than a pedophile's victim", who has a record number OOC bans on Dwilight, and who just a week or so ago was the cause of having another player locked out of his game account for a day for his "misunderstood joke" about Tom being in a car accident has any business lecturing anyone about their OOC behavior.

Proposed new "Time" Naming System Lacks Idiot-Proofing

A new time naming system, designed to eliminate the confusion so often found among people who refer to the days of the week as "Monday, Tuesday, etc.", seems to lack some idiot-proofing of its own.

According to unnamed sources, a trial run of the new system was conducted recently on one of the testing islands. Given on "Oneday", the first day of the new week, the order "We'll attack Oneday, not Twoday" was handed out to the Marshals of a certain realm.

Unfortunately, due to the poor literacy of the realm's marshals, the order was "Chinese-whispered" to read "We'll attack one day, but not today". The General made a heroic solo charge against the fortress objective, but was quickly captured. To further exacerbate matters, said General had an existing ban, and was promptly executed.

This sad tale only goes to further this correspondents belief that anyone too stupid to know how server clocks work should find work as a buro or trader.


Story by our War Correspondent Fruedlich von Jinkleheimerschmidt