Grindle Family/CripRP

Falasan / Eston War

In Amdor with New Troops

Crip arrives back in Amdor, happy to be back towards the front lines. He takes a moment to visit his old troop, the Amdor Region Security Ensemble, and share a brandy with them. Seeing their name written on paper, he realises why his men were so keen to write their own name for their unit, and sighs a rueful sigh. But he is glad to see that most of them have now agreed on the rules for their various card games, and are getting on rather better than his present lot. He sends a couple of them over to teach his new band of men, while he relaxes with his drink and the company of familiar faces, before remembering something.

Crip: Have any of you seen Sir Willem?

One of the A.R.S.E. militia': Yes, Sir, he's somewhere in that direction I think, he was training his men earlier, I'm sure.

Crip thanks him, and goes to see Willem.

Crip: I see that you are doing well with improving the region, Lord Willem; I am very impressed with your work here since I was last in the area. I have a small confession to make though - a few days ago, my men caught a man they knew to be an Eston spy. He kept claiming he worked for Falasan, and the men rather keenly kept attacking him in the hope that he would reveal his true master. Only then did one of the men admit that he wasn't actually sure whether the man was from Eston or not. It turned out in the end that he was one of your scouts, from what I can tell. I am very sorry for his ordeal; I took him back to Barad Gardor and got the men in question to pay for him to be seen by a healer, so he will hopefully make a good recovery.

Crip Grindle (Knight of Elroth)

Teaching Skat to Lord Willem

Crip Grindle arrives at Willem's estate in the evening. He enjoys a fine dinner of pickled herring, with drinks a-plenty, and remarks once more on the fine state Amdor finds itself in under Willem's, and Falasan's, rule.

Shortly, they move to the card table, where Crip gets out his pack of cards and, as promised, attempts to teach Willem the game that his men all love to spend their evenings over.

Crip: It's called Skat, and we could really do with an extra person or two, since it's a three-player game for three to five people...

Willem's eyebrows raise already.

Crip: Well, for the purposes of teaching it, let's have a couple more players [he draws up a couple of empty chairs, and his captain takes one of them when called to assist] My Captain, Werner, an expert at this game it has to be said, and let's call the empty chair Ramardo Van Troup. Ramardo can be the dealer.

Crip: [grinning] So, let me show you how to deal. You deal three to each person, then two on to the table - these are the Skat - then deal round to each player again, four cards the first time, three cards the second time. Ok? I hope that makes sense, because if you get it in the wrong order, you lose ten points. You can deal for Ramardo, if that's ok?

Willem: [struggles, but manages successfully to deal in the right order] Crip, it would be useful to know the aim of the game before getting to the details such as dealing...

Crip: Oh yes, of course. Well, quite simply, you are trying to get to 61 points.

Werner: Unless you're going for scheider, Sir.

Crip: Oh yes, of course, unless you're going for scheider, in which case you need 91 points. Now then, if you scheider, then you get double points.

Werner: Unless you declare it in advance, Sir.

Crip: Oh?

Werner: Yes, Sir, if you declare it in advance, it's worth triple.

Crip: It is? Oh, fair enough. Good job you're here, Werner! And then, Sir Willem, if you get schwartz, then it's worth triple. And in advance, Werner?

Werner: Five times, sir.

Crip: Five times, eh? Lovely. Ok.

Willem: But I thought it was 61 or 91, and 91 is not double 61.

Crip: Ah, no, not double the 61, double the unit score for the game.

Willem: And what's the unit score?

Crip: Well, it depends what game we're playing...

Willem: I thought we were playing Skat?

Crip: Ah, no, the version of the game, I mean to say. That is, either tournee, solo, grand, nullo, gucki or ramsch. Oh, and Werner, make sure I don't forget to explain about the Matadores...

Crip Grindle (Knight of Elroth)

The Pointy Swords Part 1

[OOC: A bug prevents Falasan from looting Eston lands after winning the battle - because evading troops of the local lord Arturius are allowed to prevent looting]

Crip Grindle's men come to him in an annoyed mood, one of his men, Hurgle, bringing news to him.

Hurgle: Sir, we went out to loot but we can't - there's a dangerous-looking set of men guarding the entire region.

Crip: How many of them?

Hurgle: Nine, sir.

Crip: Nine? There are twenty-three of you!

Hurgle: They're awful big, sir. With pointy swords and everything.

Crip: [pointing at Hurgle's sword] Like these?

Hurgle: Yes, sir... but more... menacing, sir.

Crip: Ok, lead us to them, and we'll kill the lot! [grabbing his sword and heading out with his men]

Hurgle: They were right here, sir, protecting this building and these [points inside and grins] lovely ladies, sir.

Crip: Well, where are they now then?

Hurgle: [shrugs] Must be evading us, sir.

Crip: Ok, then go and loot! [stomps off to reclaim his half-finished glass of brandy]

Crip has just sat down and taken a sip, when Lerati, another of his men, comes in.

Crip: [a little peeved] What now?!

Lerati: Very sorry, sir, very sorry, but, well, they're back.

Crip: I can see you're back, Lerati, what do you want?

Lerati: No sir, erm, sorry sir, but well sir, it's Arturius again.

Crip: Who?

Lerati: Oh, sorry sir, Arturius - he and his men were hiding inside the building this time, and jumped out as soon as we entered, waving their pointy swords at us all.

Crip: So you killed them or brought them as prisoners? [raises eyebrow]

Lerati: Er, no sir, well, sorry sir, but they had the height advantage coming from the window ledge, and well, sorry sir, but we had to retreat.

Crip: For goodness... ok. Let's get them now then!

Lerati: Oh, thank you sir, very sorry sir, we'll get you a bottle of brandy when we get them, sir, sorry sir.

Crip and his men return to the area, but now there is no-one in sight. Crip swears under his breath, and orders his men to search the building - every building in sight - from head to toe. They can't find them anywhere.

Crip: [to the nearest of his men] You checked behind the curtains this time?

Prutu: Yes, sir.

Crip: And they weren't there?

Prutu: No, sir.

Crip: Nor upstairs?

Prutu: No, sir.

Crip: In the attic?

Prutu: No, sir.

Crip: You opened every door, checked every cupboard, looked through every archway, checked every room in every house?

Prutu: Yes, sir.

Crip: But you found nothing?

Prutu: No, sir.

Crip: Not even a bottle of brandy or two?

Prutu: Oh, I see, sir. Yes, sir. No men, sir. But a whole cellar of bottles. And a dresser full of jewels. And some beautiful young women.

Crip: And you just left them there?

Prutu: Yes, sir.

Crip: Even the brandy?!

Prutu: Yes, sir. All there, sir.

Crip: [raising his voice] Well go and get it!

Prutu: Yes, sir.

Prutu and the rest of the men hurriedly drop their swords and run for the building which contained all the wine. They push their way through the door. Five seconds pass, then they all come running out again. With no brandy.

Crip: What on earth is this?!

Lerati: Sorry, sir, but well, sir, but Arturius is in there, with all these pointy swords!

Crip: What?! You just checked in there!

Lerati: I think they were hiding, sir. Maybe in the privvy, sir, we didn't check the privvy.

Crip: Why the hell not?!

Lerati: Well, sir, sorry sir, but it does smell so. And, well, there was a little red rag on the door handle, so we thought it must be engaged.

Crip: [enraged] Damn it! I've had enough of this! Send message to Sir Crashem, and tell him we have nine men making a fortress out of whichever building we enter. And who are able to switch from fighting to hiding at the blink of an eye. And ask him if he can spare us a few men to help. If need be, we'll take the whole building down to find this Arturius.

Crip: And Lerati. Do Not under any circumstances use the phrase "pointy swords" in any communications. Make sure you tell that to the scribe.

Lerati: Yes, sir, certainly, sir, I shall, sir.

Crip storms off angrily back to the remains of his brandy, to find it missing, with a note left on the table saying "Thanks for the drink. Arturius." The table withstands the first of Crip's attacks on it, and breaks on the second kick.

Crip Grindle (Knight of Elroth)

The Pointy Swords Part 2

[OOC: Arturius's troops no longer evade, but a new bug (two troop leaders arrive in the region just after the turn-change, miss the battle where they should have been beaten, but yet are in the region, preventing looting) prevents looting once again.]

Lerati, one of Crip's men, knocks on his door and is allowed to enter.

Lerati: Erm, sorry sir, but sir...

Crip: This had better not be to do with troops hiding in the privvy again.

Lerati: Well sir, no sir, but sort of yes sir, they're not in the privvy.

Crip: Get to the point please Lerati.

Lerati: There are two whole troops of men parading around Anost, and they fight us away if we try to loot.

Crip: How many Falasan troops do we have in Anost?

Lerati: Erm, I don't know sir, about six hundred?

Crip: And how many of these Eston troops?

Lerati: Thirty, sir. But they...

Crip: [banging his head on the desk] ...they have pointy swords?! Damn it, Lerati, if you can't attack a few miserable troops then you don't deserve to get anything from the place. Go and play cards or something.

Lerati nods, turns to go, and then thinks of something and turns back.

Lerati: Oh, and I forgot to mention all the undead as well. They're in Anost, with...

Crip: Pointy Swords?!

Lerati: [surprised] No sir! They're just creepy.

Crip watches Lerati leave, then looks down at his bottle of brandy. Three-quarters empty. He looks back to the door, shakes his head in disbelief, and carefully seals the bottle. Enough for today, perhaps.

Crip Grindle (Knight of Elroth)