Atamara Independent/Issue 9

The Atamara Independent
	"If ya read it here, ya knows it's da troot'!" Head Editor: Ole Junior Editors: Sven, Lars, Lars	Issue 9

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NEWS FLASH!!!

KING AMAARENT SCHEDULED TO BE OVERTHROWN IN 12 HOURS TIME King Amaarant, da long-time king a Darka, is havin' his overt'row arranged even as we speak. Apparantly da General an' Dukes are fellin' pretty confidnet after ridin' roughshod over da horseriders a Eston, an' are ready ta be kings an' queens demselves. It was also said dat dey were priddy tired a followin' a drag queen. "It ain't the fact that he's a drag queen so much," said one anonymous duke rumored ta be Duke Grumbar, "as the awful dresses he wears." Da rebellion was originally scheduled fer yesterday, but Duke Mr_Jones had a birt'day party ta go ta, an' couldn't guar'ntee he could get online in time. Story by our Atamara Affairs Correspondent Sven

Proposed new "Time" Naming System Lacks Idiot-Proofing A new time naming system, designed to eliminate the confusion so often found among people who refer to the days of the week as "Monday, Tuesday, etc.", seems to lack some idiot-proofing of its own. According to unnamed sources, a trial run of the new system was conducted recently on one of the testing islands. Given on "Oneday", the first day of the new week, the order "We'll attack Oneday, not Twoday" was handed out to the Marshals of a certain realm. Unfortunately, due to the poor literacy of the realm's marshals, the order was "Chinese-whispered" to read "We'll attack one day, but not today". The General made a heroic solo charge against the fortress objective, but was quickly captured. To further exacerbate matters, said General had an existing ban, and was promptly executed. This sad tale only goes to further this correspondents belief that anyone too stupid to know how server clocks work should find work as a buro or trader. Story by our War Correspondent Fruedlich von Jinkleheimerschmidt