Atamara Independent/Issue 3

The Atamara Independent
	"If ya read it here, ya knows it's da troot'!" Head Editor: Ole Junior Editors: Sven, Lars, Lars	Issue 3

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FORMER KING MAY HAVE ESCAPED THROUGH TOILET

The Atamara Independent has learned that Kronos Titans, on trial in Carelia for treason, may have made good his escape by sliding through the cell's sewer pipe. Although the pipe's diameter is only large enough to allow a rat to pass through, the guards claim that their prisoner was in fact a rat, for what else would you call a man who betrayed his country? A full investigation in under way. story by Lars (no, da odder one)

NO DECISION AFTER 2,534 MSGs

Ja, okay, so anyone followin' da D-list dese days knows about da hottest topic a da year, [Discuss] Yer so stupid!. Da t'read, started a couple two-t'ree weeks ago by someone dat no one remembers no more anyways, apparently got started when one person argued dat anodder person was stupid, an' dat person den went an' denied deir stupidness, counteractively statin' dat it were, in actuality, da first person dat were da stupid one. Of course, dere weren't a single person dat didn't t'ink dat eider da first person was da stupid one, er da odder person was da stupid one, er dey bot' were stupid, er dey didn't really know eider a da guilty parties, but based on hysterical evidence a da time, probably no one was stupid back den, so dese two couldn't possible be neider. Dat led ta challenges dat hysterically speakin' dere were lots a stupid people back den, an' also dat da person who said dere weren't was da stupid one, which da odder person (da second odder person, not da first one dat got called stupid) said was a miscontruction a what he said, cause all he meant was among da nobility dere weren't none, on account a dey all would a died if dey'd been stupid, cuase life was much harder. So dat's where it stands right now.story by Sven

POTS OF BURIED GOLD FINANCE DAEMON HORDES

Special to the Independent by War Correspondent Fruedlich von Jinkleheimerschmidt In another sign of how pathetic the world has become, especially some people, the destruction of the Republic of Heen has become virtually assured after Arcane found pots of buried gold on a deserted island. Makarian Jens Namtrah, while sitting on the privy, foolishly let his mind slip back to stories his grandfather had told him of burying said pots years before Jens' birth. Within minutes Arcane had swooped down on the excess gold, handing over nearly 1000 piece to the Blood Cult and recruiting the Vlaan armies with the rest. Heen's destruction is now imminent. Let this be a warning to you all - idle Role Play is the Daemon's Money Mint!

ATAMARA INDEPENDENT NOW INTER-ISLAND NEWS

The Atamara Independent, formerly covering Atamara news, is now going to cover other things, too. Probably other islands, or maybe not. Also, more of what we might be thinking. We might have the correct answers to all those thorny D-list questions. And pics of sexy girls in swimsuits. Or maybe not. story by Lars (no, da odder one)

PERDAN KING NIGHTMARE TO STEP DOWN

Ja, ok, so apparently da King a Perdan, over dere on da Western Island - no wait! map's upside down again - Eastern Island has decided after a couple t'ree four years a lyin' about doin' not'in', dat he no longer has time fer lyin' about doin' not'in' an' is t'rowin' in da towel. Odds-on favorite ta replace him is Sangue, who has proved his ability ta lie about doin' not'in' by spendin' nearly a mont' lyin' aroun' doin' not'in' as Perdan's judge. story by Sven