Madigan Family/Dayne The Bastard Bard
Dayne The Bastard Bard
Also called, mostly by his own tongue, Dayne the Beautiful, Dayne the Dashing, and Dayne the Bold, the bastard of the Madigan Family followed his less ambitious brother Aurelius to Thalmarkin, hoping to profit in the Fifth Invasion.
Though adequate with a blade and exploring, Dayne is a skilled singer and lute player, gifted with flowery words and given to the simple pleasures in life. He wanders about the lands of Thalmarkin, singing and jesting for coin, deflowering maidens, and maintain an air of impenetrable idiocy.
The Songs of Dayne the Bard
The Overlady's Dilemma
Once my Overlord came to me
And said my dear, pray harken and see
A son I need, a priest he will be
To rescue me from lock and key.
So he hefted his spear and leapt astride
And with his paltry instrument trust inside
Scare a minute had passed or less besides
Til the Overlord finished his premature ride.
Now nine months later it was plain and clear
A little foul beast had grown in here
I asked for his name and was shocked to hear
"1st Son - of many to be born, my dear"
Now many years later and my body ails
You'd think after nine sons his ardor would fail
But my Overlord still lifts his tiny tail
To make those wicked sons to save him from jail.
How I wish I had a strong and handsome mate
Like King Fingolfin, the Fiercesome and Great
But instead I have this beastly husband I hate
With a great fat gut and a balding pate.
So gentlemen of the realm please harken to me
And listen to the Overlady, sad as can be:
You're all tired of these son, its plain to see
Well try bouncing NINE on your poor old knee.