The Giblot Gestapo Gazette/Issue 10
 The Giblot Gestapo Gazette
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| Issue 10 | More Evil Than a Drugged Up Tilogian Council Member!!! | 15 Gold |
| December Edition | ||
| Giblot at Election Time! | |
Another Month, another Election and boy, this months elections are going to be much more fun than last months we can assure you! In fact, the Gazette has put a sound bet on it! So if those ungrateful Noble Sods don't make it fun you better watch out - we'll send our ugh...'Life Collectors' at you! In any case, unlike last month, two completely new Candidates have stepped forward for the Rulership Contest. Alexander, the current Prime Minister has declined running this month due to having too little time on his hands. Personally we think hes been drinking far too much complimentary Ale while on the job - we know we would - but who are we to Judge? Oh wait, I guess we can Judge! We are the most influential Newspaper in the Colonies afterall! How Silly of us! Currently the contest for Rulership is between Sera Osha, General of Giblot and Thanatos Reaver, the former Despot of Giblot! Although we admire Thanatos for his near unbroken, year long stint as Prime Minister hes just not the kind of guy were looking for to monopolise Giblot in the future. His time is over folks! But Sera on the other hand, now theres a man you can trust! This is a man who constructed a Maypole made entirely of dead and dying Tilogian Soldiers. His stance as a Raging Lunatic who wants nothing but to let destruction rage upon the lands is enviable! He also plans to make the inner workings of Giblot more Democratic if elected, but hey - nobodies Perfect! We at the GGG hope that you don't throw your votes away on the old and tired Thanatos, but instead, place them on Sera, the Evil Lunatic! Not only does he have the crazy mindset of a Tribune Reader, all Democratic and the like - but he also knows exactly how to deal with any enemies the right way, like a Gazette Reader! Sera represents the best of both worlds Ladies, Gentlemen and Slaves. We humbly advise you vote for him - or the price of your favourite newspaper will go up 5 Gold! Mwhahahaha! Infact thats a great idea! Were gonna put up the price of your favourite newspaper whatever happens, but it will go up less if you Vote Sera! You know it makes sense - Enjoy Voting Folks! |
| Giblot at War! | |
The Assassins Guild got the short straw earlier this week when the Great Council Convened to decide which Realm would next suffer the Pleasure of having the Giblot Military blunder through their lands, Killing, Raping and Bur- No Wait! Killing then Raping!?!? Hmm... - Oh silly me! I mean Raping, Killing and Burning their way through hostile lands! Most recently the people of Nidalery and Hilly Holes experienced this fine Giblot Hospitality first hand. We did try and get an interview with the Governors of the respective Regions, but it appears they were brutally Murdered on the Orders of the Giblot High Command - Which just serves to prove how efficient we are at dealing out our own unique style of Justice! In any case, after hearing the grumblings of G'war, Duchess and Senior Pitchfork Supervisor of the Assassins, Alexander made a mockingly weak case for War - more power to him we say! So what was Alexanders case exactly? Well we can inform you that Alexander claimed that just as the Assassins Guild had been hired to attack Giblot, Giblot had been hired to attack the Assassins Guild! When we pressed Alexander further to find out who had hired Giblot he started screaming incoherently about being forced into it by the Gazette and he mentioned something else about being whipped into a frenzy by the vast Herds of Ducks in Dalverdy. Were not sure if you entirely buy that but hey! It works for us! We at the GGG only hope that Assassin Blood is shed in Seras'Hel sooner rather than later - were so sick of receiving happy, physically fit Helseran Slaves its unbelievable! Things were so much better in the old days I tell ya!... |