Asgard Informer/Issue Seven
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Price: 1 silver coins | Main editors: Xaphan, Smeagenwulf |
A new Dictator ... Or Squirrelpants... Or Supreme leader ... whatever he calls himself. |
by Xaphan |
April 11th, 2009 |
After the shocking loss of Barad Riel and our Konungr Chisil, Xaphan was elected as Konungr, and he had this to say about it:
"they voted me in? The fools really voted me in? This is excellent! Magnamious! Unprecedented! Now word my declaration to the world for me!" "Ehhh hmmm, With the ending of the old tyranny, the tyranny of the Viking republic we are to welcome a new reign of terror, and the new dawn it shall bring. His Squirrelyness Xaphan shall replace your former executive Official with himself! And watch as the mud farmers cry oppression!" "Tell them about my title..." Xaphan muttered. "Supreme Leader Decree No.1! Squirrelypants Xaphan demands to be called Supreme Squirrel Pants, or Supreme leader I forget... Anyway! To the tyranny and that ... Another declaration.... pancakes are here by ... BANNED (dun dun dun! dramatic pause) and you now have the choice of either DEATH or suffering the horror of eating a Victoria sponge cake." Xaphan's official wordman announced. "I, Xaphan, also have something to declare... Aside form all my other declarations. I hereby announce Yeti Wrestling and Raccoon Dragging competitions to be back on. To help you get over the shock of loosing your dear pancakes and eating Victoria sponge cake" "Hahahha! A Squirrel? A bald Squirrel ruling us manly Vikings? I don't think so mate!" That mysterious voice chimed in once more. "WHO SAID THAT?!" Xaphan roared. "Me!" The voice said. "You again?! Why when I get my hands on you ....!!!" As Xaphan stepped of the makeshift podium and forced his way through the crowd a lone, syruppy pancake flew through the air, landing wetly on his bushy tail. The crowd wuickly dispersed and screamed at the horror of yet another drive by pancaking. As seemed to be happening a lot around Norland. "My tail ... my bewtiful tail... its gonna take ours to get rid of the syrup stains..." Xaphan moaned miserably. |
Politics ... Yawn. |
by Xaphan |
April 25th, 2009 |
Konungr Xaphan invested much time in talks, both internal and external, he continued talks with Eston and Minas Ithil and openned up talks with Barony Of Makar. Eston agrred to halt agression and the Makarian's offered Norland a deal, which was happily accepted. Minas Ithil however, despite their talks eventually sold out what was said between Xaphan and Katherine to the Northern realms at an attempt at appeasement. During these talks Minas Ithil attacked Shiverwood, failing badly, the attack was probably hastily conducted when news reached them of a Darkan army on our western front. So far this Darkan army has not made moves against and has since moved away. |
Mansbridge liberated from the tyranny of Woman. |
by Xaphan |
April 29th, 2009 |
After repelling the Ithilian troops in Shiverwood and retaking Ashmoor the brave Norlander's drew up a plan to retake Mansbridge and after two battles we secured the region and began a TO, which noly lasted a few turns before the region hailed its new Vkingness. Upon its capture Aric was appointed as Viscount once more and Xaphan invested gold into the region, jolt starting production. |