Magnus/Roleplays

HEROIC DEEDS AND TALES OF DARING DO!

SEND IN THE NEXT ONE THAT SAYS HE KNOWS HIS LETTERS! Magnus wipes the blood of his sword as he dictates the same report once again. The shaken old man dutifully scribbles the words down without managing to take his eyes off the sword, Lord Magnus and the three former scribes littering the floor of the command pavillion. Youll do, till I kill you or I find someone better! Good scribes are so hard to find.

OLAF! OLAF! There you are! I thought you said Perdan City was the Capital? I thought you said you grew up there? I thought you said you had an inate sense of direction? But...But...( a strangled squeek then just a groan) ULFGAR! Your my new pathfinder! And don't you dare tell me you thought the Capital was Perdan City too!

Bah! First its scribes who cant scribe and now its a pathfinder who cant path!? I twisted Olaf's head around so at least part of him is now headed the right direction! HarHahaHARhar! My new pathfinder, Ulfgar, assures me he knows the way to the REAL Capital! They may not be smart, but they can lift heavy things! No wonder Mother sent them with me, she knew they would never find there way home once they left!

OOOH! SCRIBE! Everyone suddenly seems to be diligently scouting every direction at once. Sgt. Ulfgar! Post a notice at the next campsite, SCRIBE WANTED!, pay and life expectancy consumate with experience and performance. Must know which end of the quill goes in the inkpot and Realm protacol is a BIG plus! (Stomps off lifting rocks and kicking bushes while fingering a very large knife)

If it wouldn't be to much trouble, I seem to be between scribes again, and I need to request orders. Could you tell me who I should ask? I just want to go Bash someone (besides my own men!) for Odin's sake! Stumbling along in Perdan! Magnus

Honored Sirs, Noble Ladies, ect, ect... Allow this missive in lieu of a formal introduction. I, Magnus Solarin, late of Jekel, have heard there is a lot of bashing to go round here in Pedan and would like to offer the services of myself and my "pointy stick slingers". We are currently in route to the Capital to reinforce and will then set out to one of the fronts. I respectfully request to be placed into whatever battle group thingy would give us the best chance to kill, maim, or otherwise "hurt the enemy really bad"! Blah blah blah (insert lots of flowery praise and a really good "Im not worthy") Strength and Honor Magnus Solarin

somewhere in Perdan.... ULFGAR! ULFGAR! Where is that bloody pathfinder? (The large man looks around angrily) Sir! Excuse me, Sir! Nori, if you ask me, "Are we at the Capital yet?" one more time,I swear on Odin's one good eye I'll give you a haircut you'll never have to get again! Do you see a bunch of Fops strolling around in multi colored tights, ladies in funny pointy hats or any old men pushin carts around, ringing bells, and yellin,"BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!"? NO YOU DON'T!!! Thats how you'll know we're in the Capital! Anyways, it wasn't my fault they changed the Capital city and Olaf(the first pathfinder,now able to look behind him without turning around)led us toward the wrong damn one!(of course he hadn't been here in years..oh well..details details) I asked Mother for the Slayers, but NO!, she saddles me with you twinkle-toed stick-slingers and gives the good Infantry to Lars!(She always did like him best) So Nori and the rest of you just SHUT yer holes and pick up your pointy shoes and keep marchin! NOW MOVE OUT!!!

...still tramping about inner Perdan. The 4th Scribe, being somewhat smarter than the first three, handed the rather offical looking dispatch to the Flight leader, who in turn handed to the Line corporal, who gave it to one of the Lords groom. The groom, having survived longest around Lord Magnus, slipped it into his Lords' saddle bag where it wasn't found for some hours after the groom had left to find oats. WHAT! WHAT! But I just left Beascanon, thats where this all started!!! Ooh! Well, we had to go refit anyhow I suppose. ALL RIGHT! Listen up you misbegotten string-twingers! We just got orders to refit then head back the way we came! (assorted groans, moans, and a quickly stiffled question that started to sound a lot like, "Are we in the Capital yet?" Think of it this way men, we get a nice walk in the country, a visit to the big city and then we get to go back and defend hearth and home! Yes Bescanon is soon to be under attack! So move with a purpose ladies and shake a leg! On the bright side, we won't have to drag your body all the way home to put you in a proper barrow!

..... in the trackless waste of inner Perdan two sentries start to the alert

Shhh! What was that?

I dont know but you better wake up Lord Magnus I think I see someone moving this way.

GULP! But I woke him up last time its your turn!

Is not! Anyway I had to bury the scribes all by myself!

.....as the two sentries are engrossed in their conversation a rather smallish man with a portable desk under his arm strides up to them...

Excuse me you two, but where can I find the Lord Magnus?

Who es it wants to know? the first sentry asks recovering quickly form his fright.

I am the scribe Blen!(draws himself up proudly then continues)Formerly of the entourage of Lord Maelg. He was gracious enough to send me when he heard your Lord had a position open.

The two sentries stand and stare at the little man with mouths agape for a few seconds and then promptly fall to the ground helplessly in gales of laughter!!!

...middle of the night, middle of Perdan..somewhere...

The two sentries manage to help each other back to their feet. The first sentry suppresses a giggle then says,'So you lookin for the postion of scribe with Lord Mag huh?'

'I believe that IS what I said the first time, before your FIT!' the small man says afronted. 'As I also said, my name is Blen formerly of the entourage of Lord Maelg. He has apparently quite impressed with your Lord and when he heard what a dreadful time he was having finding GOOD scribes he sent ME straight way!'

'So your a GOOD scribe heh? He better be! Hey Ern?' the first sentry says to his fellow.

'Your right as right about that Bert..hehehe, You do know where the Capital is and how to send reports and letters right?' Ern replies as he looks at Blen.

'I assure you that I am well versed in the forms, functions and styles of all patents and correspondence of the Isles.' Blen says drawing himself up importantly again.

'Well then you should do just fine then, we dont have a openin for a scribe just now, but you never know when the job will...Open Up! Bert says barely suppessing a laugh.

'Yeah, you may get...A head..of the competion anytime now!' Ern snickers. 'Come on, will show you to the Man!'

....a sunny day in the rills and dales of Perdan....... Two lines of 16 men snake out behind a black palfrey upon which a man happily munches away on a haunch of mutton. His plesant repast is shattered by a shrill voice.... M'Lord! M'LORD! a smallish man with a hook nose shouts between gasp as he jogs to over take the horse. 'Oh bloody hell! Cant I even eat in peace? The big man moans. Slowing and turning in his saddle he asks,'What is it now?" Blen, red faced and thourghly disheveled, slides to a stop and begins his report,'My Lord, I am SO sorry to interupt your meal, but that poor excuse for a scribe you employ got this missive, read it,handed it to me and started off back to Partora without a word.' 'Who the BLOODY hell are you and where did you come from?!' Lord Magnus roars! 'Who let this fool into our formation? Who let him get behind me with that box of what ever it is in his hands?' Sgt. Ulfgar hold him and search that box for weapons! The Sgt. relieved of his pathfinding duties by the addition of 2 new scouts was more than happy to lift the little man from the ground while giving the box to one of the other men. 'Whats in that box Sven? Crossbow? poison? An old fashioned garrot?' The Lord asks with glee.'I knew it! When the miserable curs heard I was finally in the fight they wasted no time trying to take me out! WE GOT EM SCARED ALREADY BOYS!' The Lord rubs his hugh hand together in delight. 'Ah...Sir,its just a bunch of parchments, quills, ink, you know scribe scribble stuff.' Sven says looking like he would rather be elsewhere. 'Oh I see, your an assasin from the Scribe Guild come to get revenge for your mates aye?' Lord Magnus asks nodding shrewdly. "NO..No..no M'Lord! You have it all wrong! I have been sent into your service by my former Lord Maelg. He said you've had a dreadful time getting good help, and if the man I just met was any indication of what you've been going through I dont blame you at all for being out of sorts!" Blen manages to get out in one breath and in a remarkably calm voice for someone dangling a foot in the air!

...On the road to Perdan again...marching through the night! Lord Magnus took the report from his new scribe, Blen, the cousins, sisters, friend of someone Lord Maelg knows and scowls then gives a smile that causes the scribe to step back quickly.

'Men listen up! I got some bad news and some good news, you all know my policy so bad news first! Bescanon has fallen to the pointy-eared FARIES!"

Stunned silence, crys of outrage, and muttered threats circle throughout the men.

"Now the good news! It looks like the war is finally coming to us! We should hit Perdan just in time to give those shoemakin sissy boys some payback!" The Lord continues. "Besides I know how much you stickslingers like to shoot down from castle walls and Perdan has a REALLY large one!"

More cheers and "Death to the shoemakin sissies!" Thunder through the night!

"C'mon you twinkletoed string-twingers! MOVE OUT!"

dont think you are all seeing things the way I am.(course it could be just what my scribe is showing me) I looked at the battle report for Bescanon and despite being outmatched by 20000CS we wounded what three of thier Lords and captured the Lord Marshall? Not to mention the fact all the kills we mounted up on them just in reducing a level 2 fort! If you look at their regions behind them they are on the brink of revolt. If we could get an infiltrator or two in there we could give them something else to worry about! Always look on the brightside of life!

Anyway, I have a good NEW scribe, and my twinkle-toed string-twingers will be on the battlements with you!:)

You know what one of those ancient warrior said when told the enemies arrows blocked out the sun? Very good then, we will get to kill them in the shade!! Its all just a matter of perspective!(that and a 1000 or so troops)lol

BUCKUP PERDANIANS! MAGNUS AND HIS SILVERSHAFTS ARE WITH YOU!!! (and there was much rejoicing...YEAH!) Sir Magnus reads the letter and turns a delightfull shade of pink. Removes his bi-horned helmet, runs his fingers through his hair and mutters,"Garsh! All this time I thought Ladies were only impressed with big swords." BLEN! GET ME A QUILL AND SOME INK!

....on the road to Perdan city.. A tall Sgt. salutes yet another battlegroup leader and asks his the same question he asked of the other two who went by and again hangs his head and returns once more to tell his Lord the bad news.(Not an attractive duty or one suited to longevity)

"Well, Ulfgar, are we members of the PMR?" Lord Magnus asks full of hope.

Ulfgar,a normally very brave man, swallows nervously and shakes his head no then ducks reflexivly. The blow he expected doesnt come. Instead his Lord begins to shake and turn a brilliant shade of red that quickly runs to purple!

"BLLLEEENNNNN! Take a message and send one of those new scouts directly to the council. Make sure you get this right no foul ups with this or you know what will happen! I dont care whos sisters', couisins', friend you are!"

Esteemed Council,

It seems in all the current "excitment" in our Realm that my men and I have been overlooked and not placed into a battlegroup. Could you PLEASE get us into one! Anyone at all! WE JUST WANT TO KILL SOMETHING! (insert flowery praise and platatudes and a really good "Im not worthy here) For PERDAN!

Oh I like that Sir Sanques' style he's my kind of Viking! "BLLLEEEEENNN" Put him on my "I want to rape and pillage with this guy list!"

Why Maelg I have lots of list, here are just a few.

Friends I have made.(Short, but your tops on this one!)

People I dont like.(Noscribing scribes near the top!)

People I REALLY dont like.(Pointy-ears longhaired farie-types #1)

Guys I want to Rape and Pillage with.(Your on this one too of course!)

Places I'd like to raze to the ground!(Oh just guess where #1 is)

By the way you will be happy to know that you cousins', sisters', friend or whatever, Blen is actually a fairly good scribe. Yes he does still has his liver, but his stomach Im not so sure about!(he's a little on the squeemish side) Why he has outlasted the other 3 or was it 4? aw I lose track, all put together! I dont know why you sent him too me but you have done me a great service and one I will not forget. LETS GO MAKE BLOOD EAGLES TOGETHER SOMETIME!

Ok OK! Since my good friend Maelg is intrigued I will tell you!(I couldnt wait anymore anyway..hehehe..giggle..giggle)Hhrrum hrrum. Magnus looks around sheepishly then contiunes.

ADVISORY: THE FOLLOWING IS A TRUE HISTORICAL FACT OF GRAPHIC NATURE PARENTS OF SMALL CHILDREN AND POINTY-EARED FAIRY-TYPES ARE STRONGLY CAUTIONED

AH, when I was but a wee lad, Da would take Lars, my younger brother and I(mother always liked him best), out into the woods bordering Sirion. When we would come across any of those skinny tree-hugging types we'd kill'em(Of course) and then to send them a message not to mess with the "Big smelly men in the funny horned hats" we would make blood eagles. A traditional Viking blood eagle is an artistic as well as terrifing warning to our enemies. You see what you do is:

Kill your enemy.(Not essential before you start,but ok)

Split them from throat to gullet. Reach in and pull out both lungs, heart, liver and stomach and place on top of body.

Artfully arrange organs into the form of an eagle!

Wha-Lah!

Ah, those fond memories of family outings still bring warmth to my heart and a tear to my eye.(sniff..sniff) Obviously, the practice seems to have fallen by the wayside as the sissies of Sirion are now on our soil! I think its time to revive the custom. In the interst of morale and esprit-de-corps only of course! Magnus grins evily!

Remember the enemy of my enemy may be my friend, but their both dead if they mess with PERDAN!

Ah my fair Evangeline I regret any offense I have rendered to your tender senses. I assure you my goal was only to instruct on the finer points of old Viking culture not to offend you dear Lady!Magnus doffs his helm, and bows low from the waist Please accept my deepest, most sincere, and humble apology.(I did post an advisory warning) I would gladly make it up to you any way I could. Is there anyone you need killed or at least maimed?

Eternally at your service

HEY! This may be the start of something big Maelg. We could start the "NORLAND BLOOD EAGLE ARTISTS GUILD"!!! We could hold exhibts and compitions! We could give out prizes for most artistic, most bloody, best use of organs, ect! We could drink lots of mead and REALLY mess some Sissies Up!

YARR-HARR-HARR!

BLLEEN! Where's my axe, the REALLY BIG one? WHHOOO!

Lady Evangeline,

I seem to have mispoke again.("Blen did you write that apology the way I told you?) My Lady, your sword arm, your stomach for the fight, nor your ability to wage war on your foes, was never in question. I know full well as a Shield Maiden of Perdan you are a match for any 5 nay 10 of the Fairy folk. I was mearly offering to be of service so you would not have to sully your sword with the blood of foes so far beneth your station. Again my most humble of apologies.

Helm in Hand

Well thats a happy thought, no taxes this week. Aw well I guess its just less for the Tree-huggers to try and pickpocket! I was hoping for a few more coin befor our competition though. Not that I think Ill need to buy mind you! I was just wanting to get you an "OFFICAL MAGNUS BLOOD EAGLE AXE AND KNIFE SET"(coming soon to descriminating shops and weaponsmiths near you! )before our first contest. Well there's always Yule I suppose. It is the thought that counts after all. Perhaps Mum will get the rest of my birthright to me by then.

Whats keepin the BLOODY sun anyhow?!! The large man strides toward the gate house of Perdan City attracted by the thunderous rattle of chain as the drawbridge is slowly being winched up.

"WHAT IN THE ALL-FATHERS' NAME ARE YOU DOING MAN!" Lord Magnus bellows at the Sgt of the Guard.

The grizzled veteran turns with a look that would melt steel then starts and visibly pales. "LLL..ord Magnus, Sir we didnt realise you were inside the city already!" the man stammers.

"Bloody good thing too by the looks of this goat rope! What are you doing closing the bridge, we have more troops coming in?" the Lord asks.

"Ah, ha ah, we were just testing the mechinisms M'Lord, they have to be ready in a moments notice in case the Sirions arrive you know." The Sgt explains.

"Well, good thinkin Sgt. I like a man of initiative, if you ever need a real job come look me up. Now QUIT MAKEING THAT RACKET! I have drinkin to do be for Lord Maelg gets here and your giving me a headache I havent earned yet!

And with that Lord Magnus turns and strides away not seeing the visible relief of the now slightly more grizzeled and grayed Sgt.

...inside one of the finer (dive) public houses in Perdan City...

"BLLEEECHH! What worthless excuse for mead." Lord Magnus grumbles to Sgt. Ulfgar as he rises unsteadyly to his feet. "Well we waited all morning for Lord Maelg an he never arriiv...arrifed...got here! (hic) C'mon Ulfgar lets go find a place to lay down that i'nt movin so fasss..fast."

"Ulfgar, Ulfgar??" Magnus looks around and spies his Sgt. under the table he just got up from. "Heh heh, poor fella cant old is mee..mmee...Honey liquor!"

"Well gotta fina a rum...rooooomm..hehehe.. MEMEME haha Ulfgar did you close the shutters its getin dar.....

A thunderous crash splits the silence and then only PONDEROUS snores!

Hail Estor!

Welcome to Perdan! Well its like my Da use to say,"The bees always come were there's the most honey!" If pointy-eared, treehuggin, fairy types are the honey then we definately have the most around! It certainly is glad to have another "bee" for once!

Afore you think Im a crass oaf(still open to debate at times, just not right now)let me say that I too lost my Father at a young age. But he passed on to me a way of getting back at our enemies and making a statment not to mess with us at the same time!

Have you ever heard of a BLOOD EAGLE?! If you get to Perdan City before the mead runs out(or the twinkle-toed tree lovers bring it down around our ears) look me up and I'll tell ya all about them!

Welcome again,