Too Much BattleMaster

You know you play too much BattleMaster when...

• You tell yourself, you can live without Battlemaster....then come back 2 weeks later, sweating, and wondering if your allies are ok.
• You wake up at 3 in the morning sweating, without an alarm, to neurotically scout the enemy.
• The only reason you get away from your computer is to go outside and take the picture that Tom asked for the anniversary collage.
• Your girlfriend has given up on trying to stop you wasting your time on such a pointless game and actually reminds you when you're about to miss a turn.
• You have not been able to log into the game all day, but you still make no plans...and sit by the computer all night hitting the refresh button.
• Battlemaster sets your curfew; you just have to be home before the turn is over.
• You go to some sort of social event, but instead of talking to people, you spend the entire time thinking about: (for the Generals amoung us) line settings, (for the Rulers amoung us) diplomatic negotiations, (for the Region Lords amoung us) which court to hold next.
• You have a ton of work to do, but deadline or no deadline, you're going to read all your Battlemaster messages first.
• When at work your boss says Morale is low, you suggest visiting a swanky bar for 8 hours.
• You know what time it is in Germany at all times.
• You plan vacations and other trips around being able to hit each turnchange.
• Not even TOM could convince you that BM is a 'light-weight game'
• People have heard you mumble 'thank the Tom' as you scroll through you're BM messages.
• You can draw and label your realm and its regions ... or more.
  • ... and you can travel across the continent without using the travel advisor or looking at the map.
• You can say at least 20 regions' names out loud without fail and be able to use them all in Military Alphabet Code.
• "Remember the Titans" is no longer a reference to an American Football movie, but a warning to in-game evildoers.
• You are dumbfounded that your paycheck is not delivered at turn change, but are thankful you don't have to drive to your capital to cash it.
• You refer to your vehicle as a Caravan each time you take a trip to the groceries store.
• Your boss is getting tired of being called "M'Lord".
• You bring your own lance and sword to the Golf Tournament.
• Turkey leg in one hand, pint of family made mead in the other ... while your family attempts to understand just what a Barony of Makar is ... and why you keep saying "Arrh!".
• You miss your bus/ferry in the morning because you just had to get your fix before going to work ...
• You "roleplay" in game characters in real life. Your friends ask you to consult a psychologist. The psychologist says you are suffering from schizophrenia. They started to investigate the cause of your case. Soon they found similar cases occurred worldwide. One reknowned psychologist is writing a PhD research paper, titled: The link between Schizophrenia and the browser game Battlemaster.
• The best Christmas present you are going to get is more turn changes during a day, wrapped with another continent to play in.
• You know what is going to happen in the Game but you are still sweating out of anxiety, waiting for the turn change.
• The word - and concept of - “God” has been replaced by “TOM”.
  • ...and "God's love" means TOM said "Love that idea!" when you proposed the YKYPTMBM list.
• You believe Santa Claus lives in Germany and runs a game called Battlemaster.
• You understand these jokes.
• While on the computer, every 5 minutes you check your family page just to see if anyone has replied to your question, you asked the realm.
• You are late to lessons/lectures just because you just need to see the turn change
• You buy a TV tuner card to watch the football or basketball game from you computer, so you don't miss any messages.
• You call long car trips "two turn moves."
• You dig trenches around your house "so your men feel safer."
• You call criminals "infiltrators."
• One of your characters have been wounded, you grab some bandages and yell, "I can save you!"
• You miss work and blame an undead invasion.
• For the next election, you hire a professional speechwriter for your campaign.
• When you go to your new job, you insist on calling your boss the Ruler.
• If you get pulled over, you apologize to the policeman and beg not to get banned.
• Halfway through the week, you demand the ability to "Check Payday".
• When a financial emergency comes up, you ask the bank to call an early tax day.
• When you're stuck in traffic, you are able to amuse yourself by scouting the neighboring cars.
  • ...and then you call up your boss and give him a scout report.
  • You blame infiltrators for your travel delays
• You wonder how much CS your country's military has
• You think the way to raise workplace cohesion is to periodically yell, "Hit it, you weaklings!"
• Your friends need to talk to you, but instead of calling, they send you an OOC message.
• Your roommate needs to talk to you, but instead of talking, sends you a Role-Play.
• When your sports-team loses, you criticise their line settings.
• You have no friends left who didn't try BM.
• When you wake up 2 hours before you're due to be at school for an exam... but realise you havn't sent any orders yet so you spend the majority of you're "last minute" revision time conjuring plans, scouting and sending orders.
• When your entire family gives you extra leway on the 2-hours per person on the family computer because they understand that 'the game' cannot wait! That newly arrived Troop Leader just needs welcoming! And that scout report needs digesting!
• When a "You know you play too much Battlemaster when...?" list is made.
• You get mugged in the street and lose your mobile phone, wallet and trousers while looking for the 'defensive strategy' link.
• You get bored at work and attempt a brutal takeover of the next cubicle.
• You fill in a job application and enter 'Baron' where it says 'title'.
• Your girlfriend has your hand-drawn character portraits pinned to her bedroom wall. (no, seriously, she does!)
• You actually gave yourself the legal title "Duke of ...." to encourage yourself.
• You accuse people with friends in other countries of witchcraft or espionage.
• You call income taxes "taxes from troop leaders."
• You go to jail and wonder why the enemy judge hasn't set a ransom.
• You think archery tournaments are blasphemy.
• You find yourself pondering the cost of Mote and Bailey fortifications for the lawn.
  • ... and then realize that you forgot to get gold from the bank on your way home.
• You've been ignoring any memos that aren't printed on bright red paper. After all, you need to make sure not to waste your hours, in case Important Orders come in.
• You're planning a trip to your country's capital -- not to see the sights or talk to your elected representatives, but to hire a bunch of soldiers, buy a siege engine, and put a 50 gold bounty on your in-laws.
• After hearing about the police capturing some criminals you saw on the news, you eagerly await reading the torture reports.
• You go to school hoping to have some Swordfighting lessons.
• You've been in your country for years and complain to the council that you haven't even been appointed Local Lord.
• You seceed with your home so you can now rule your own realm.
• You get home completely drunk and you can still scout.
• You pray to some Battlemaster-God in Church.
• You start a rebellion with 3 men.
• You are trying to find Tom's telephone number in the past 5 years.
• You have a picture of Tom always with you.
• You start talking to your boss that he is corrupt and that the inquisition will get him anyway.
• You start drawing maps of Battlemaster on your exams.
• You give your teacher titles.
• You desperatly try to recruit some soldiers in the mall.
• You want the name of your street changed into Rue de Battlemaster
• You plunder the store next door because you have just read an order to loot.
• You have more then 3 pages on the Wiki which are really worth reading.
• Your only goal in life is to become ruler.
• Upon finding out that after spending the afternoon in the city, you will also be spending the evening/night there at a concert, your first thought is that you'll miss a whole turn.
• You start to think that if you have so many titles in the game, you deserve a few in the SCA.
• You try to sell copies of the Atamara Times on the street for a few extra gold.
• No matter what your local time is, the Day is between 6:00 and 18:00 server time.
• You try to get yourself executed "for the fame point."
• You wonder why your country's laws aren't on the BM wiki.
• You become nervous when the time of turn change approaches.
• You send the mailes titled "Report" to your boss.
• Your family and friends know that you have won a tournament.
• You interprete the politic events from TV news as the Takeovers, Rebellions and Courts.
• You know more about the diplomacy relations in your continent than about the recent politics of you RL country.
• At the tax day, you're surprised you must pay, not receive money.
• You look at a globe for an unclaimed island to go do a colony takeover on.

Feel free to add your own :-)