IRC/Quotes
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Quotes from #battlemaster @ quakenet
January 2009
January 16
[13:22] <Thalathafn> bye [13:22] * Ta|i waves [13:22] * Ta|i has left #battlemaster [13:22] <ELV> bye [13:22] <ELV> damn [13:24] <Reilwin> ELV: you FAIL [13:24] <ELV> :'( [13:24] <ELV> you big bully! [13:25] <Reilwin> o.O [13:25] <Reilwin> I'm not a bully! [13:25] <Reilwin> A really bully would do something like this: [13:25] * Reilwin slaps ELV around a little bit with a large trout [13:25] <Reilwin> oh, say [13:25] <Reilwin> that was fun [13:25] <A8mew> People and trouts. [13:25] * Reilwin slaps ELV around a little bit with a large trout ...again! [13:25] * Reilwin slaps ELV around a little bit with a large trout ...and again! [13:26] * ELV fights the big bully [13:26] <Reilwin> :P [13:26] <A8mew> Ever think of using a mackerel? [13:26] * ELV slaps Reilwin with an umbilical cord [13:26] <Reilwin> oh, good idea [13:27] * Reilwin slaps ELV around a little bit with a large mackerel [13:27] * ELV strangles Reilwin with reilwin's umbilical cord [13:27] <Reilwin> o.O [13:27] * ELV shoves reilwin's placenta down his throat for good measure [13:28] <Reilwin> O.o [13:28] <Reilwin> My, violent, aren't we? [13:28] <A8mew> That's... unique. [13:28] * Reilwin wonders who is the bully here... [13:28] <A8mew> I've ground people into jelly and marketed it as a cure for cancer, but never have I tried strangulation by umbilical cord. [13:29] <Reilwin> the victim's own umbilical cord, no less [13:29] <Veritek> That takes some prior planning [13:29] <Veritek> Long distance planning.... [13:29] <ELV> muahaha [13:30] <Reilwin> Veritek: well, you can do it as soon as a baby's born... [13:30] <Reilwin> hmm...wonder what that makes ELV [13:30] <Reilwin> baby-killer? [13:30] <Reilwin> hum [13:30] <Veritek> Yeah, but that's not that impressive [13:30] <Veritek> impressive is saving it until they're 45, then *then* doing it ... [13:32] * Delvin_at_Work nudges Veritek and points at his jar
January 14
<Lorgan> I just lost a whole letter due to misclicking :( * Aonui laughs.
January 13
[12:52] <Von-Ulthuan> i did something very funny the other day [12:52] <Von-Ulthuan> we were out ... [12:52] <Von-Ulthuan> and she touched my leg [12:52] <Von-Ulthuan> and i screamed rape [12:52] <Von-Ulthuan> .... [12:52] <ELV> haha [12:52] <Von-Ulthuan> then she's like shut up out of the corner of her mouth [12:52] <DorianGray> lol [12:53] <DorianGray> lol she hates you [12:53] <DorianGray> sorry [12:53] <Von-Ulthuan> and i'm like looking down and going ok ok whatever you say just don't hit me [12:53] <DorianGray> screaming rape is one of the fastest ways to turn a situation awkward [12:53] <Von-Ulthuan> yes but it was totally worth it [12:53] <Von-Ulthuan> :) [12:53] <Sacha> the fastest way is to actually rape her [12:54] <DorianGray> +1 for sacha [12:54] <ELV> lol@sacha [12:54] <Von-Ulthuan> imagine that would be quite awekward [12:54] <ELV> in fact, lmfao [12:54] <ELV> "wait...oops?" [12:54] <ELV> 'I meant to hug you!" ... [12:54] <DorianGray> "oh that just slipped right up in there didn't it?" [12:54] <Von-Ulthuan> "but i slipped
January 4
[19:15] <+Sacha> Used during Medieval Times, the Pear of Anguish was an extremely painful device used to punish homosexuals, witches and women accused of inducing a miscarriage. The Pear of Anguish had the shape of a pear; As a handle was turned, the spoon-shaped lobes opened; increasing pain. Even though the Pear of Anguish was mostly used for oral punishments, homosexuals had it fixed in their anus and women in their vagina. Causing severe pain, after this torture was employed on the mouth; the victim's teeth would get destroyed; making blood pour out of the victim's mouth often causing death. If introduced in the anus or vagina, death was a step away. The Pear of Anguish was rarely washed, thus causing infections very frequently. If the victim didn't die by an infection however, he would die by other diseases caused by the severe damage of his or her intestines. [19:16] <Thalathafn> ouch [19:16] <Thalathafn> they should really wash it [19:17] <+Sacha> to make the torture more humane? :p [19:17] <Thalathafn> especially if they are using it for both ends [19:17] <+Sacha> im guessing that if theres an expanding pear up your ass, cleanliness is the least of your concern
