Lightstar Family/Xarnelf/Roleplay 79
Holiday S.T.U.F.F.
(OOC: warning! the following headache may cause RPs! err... ahem! i mean, the following RP may cause headaches!)
"Hoy Everyhone Listen Learn hOrders! Hwho has the large sack hof Secret Talismans Unique Fhor Firing? Hwe'll be needing them thonight at Hortedail."
-blank stares meet the captain's exasperated sigh-
"The STUFF!"
-heads begin to bob as realization dawns upon them-
"Ohhhh, um he does!"
-a bunch of fingers pointing at one small guy in the back-
"Hoy, yhou there! In the back! Hwhat's yhour name, shon?"
-with a jolly smile spreading upon his cherubic face-
"Me? I'm Nicholas, sir!"
"Hokay, Nichholas, is the STUFF all In Nice Temper And Currently Tame? Nho brhoken shiny things hor trampled leaves?"
-a twinkling wink-
"Yessir! Everything is um... intact, and fine, sir!"
"Hwrhong! Everything is Fragile Is Nicely Exfholiated, is hwhat yhou shhould have said!"
"Yessir! Everything's Fragile Is Nicely Exfoliated, sir!"
"Hright, that's a Great hOutstanding hOpenly Dedicated man! Nhow everyhone, Frag hOur Resting Men Uber Prhoperly!"
-more blank stares-
"FhORM UP boys! Hwe're heading hOver Under There!"
"Under where?"
-snickers, gleeful elbowing, and a few loudly whispered 'Hehe, he said underwear...'-
-captain facepalms-
"hOUT bhoys! Frag hOur Resting Men Uber Prhoperly sho hwe can Mhobilize hOr Vholuntarily Evacuate hOver Under There! Didn't All Nhoobs Yhou hOx Nugget Entrails read the Draftees Are Really Ninchomphoops secret code book?!"
"Hoy! Attach them like sho, putting the hhook right behind the arrhow head!"
-captain demonstrates putting one of the shiny STUFFs on an arrow-
"Oooh, shiiiiny!"
"Preeety!"
"Prrreciious... my prrrec--"
-captain holds up hand-
"Nhow! I hwant each line to shhoot hwone type hof hornament! Alternate between the Breakable Aluminum Lined Lead Stuff and the Make Infantry Smhooch Trhoop Leaders Every Time hOne Eats Stuff!"
-blank stares-
"Hargh! The blhoody BALLS and the blhoody MISTLEThOES, yhou idihots!"
"Ahhhhh!"
As the enemy infantry advance...
...they encounter an approaching wall of shiny balls hooked on arrows!
Good news: the arrows all missed them!
Bad news: the BALLS shattered and spread shrapnel everywhere...
Really good/bad news: some soldiers fell under the effect of the MISTLETOES and proceeded to smooch unceremoniously?
