Talk:Itorunt Informer/April '06

Oh you dirty thieving sons of small woodland creatures! You stole our periodical setup! Well, I cant blame you for copying your betters! Vellos 1 April 2006 01:03 (CEST)

Actually, we got this off of Sirions failed paper. Which is presumably where you nicked yours from anyways. Watch us get more views now! --The1exile 1 April 2006 01:06 (CEST)

Oh now this is laughable! A haiku! I believe we mentioned something about "real poetry"! (OOC- Actually, I happen to like haikus, but Hireshmont doesnt, lol) Vellos 1 April 2006 16:50 (CEST)

I have added the small article mentioning our agreement to the IJARG. --The1exile 1 April 2006 22:37 (CEST)

You Itorunt Informing Idiots! This is no Cease Fire! This is just to stop spamming our newpapers [sic] !--Twinblade 1 April 2006 22:53 (CEST)

Oh really? What do you call stopping writing articles for the sake of taking the mick out of other papers then? I call it a ceasefire, but not peace. I added a [sic] tag to you misspelling here by the way, my discuss page, my privilege. --The1exile 2 April 2006 12:28 (CEST)

Its not a cease fire, merely an agreement on what weapons are legal(OOC- lol, no WMDs! :D )Vellos 2 April 2006 17:57 (CEST)

Where do you come up with this stuff?

Skirmish in Al Aquabah? Perdanese becoming more stupid?

Honestly, where do you come up with this stuff? When Ito and Ibby armies abandoned Al Aquabah, leaving behind 9 TLs to get slaughtered by the Perdanese and Ubent armies, resulting over well over 200 Ito/Ibby deaths accompanied by practically no Perdanese/Ubent deaths, we didn't mount personal attacks calling you stupid. When you did it again the very next turn, leaving 4 TLs behind in Ar Raqqah, resulting in around 60 or 70 deaths, we didn't mount personal attacks. When three Perdan nobles miss the turn and get caught by an invading army that wasn't there the turn before, you call them idiots. Is this what it's come down to? Should I go back through my history and post al the Ibby/Ito TLs that have suicided into our armies for the past month?

Running newspapers for opposing realms, and providing alternate viewpoints for the events is fun, and interesting. It can provide a lot of entertainment. Loading it up with insults and ad hominem attacks takes the fun out of it. Where's the mutual respect for other players?

--Indirik 4 April 2006 01:10 (CEST) (Sig added retroactively.... forgot to add it earlier)

Oh, loosen up a bit. Its just creative reporting. (OOC- I dont think they were insulting other players, but characters. Newspapers are IC, not OOC) Vellos 4 April 2006 00:52 (CEST)

Plus theres not really anything wrong with insulting the other realms in your own newspaper anyway. Though this story would probably be more interesting if they included the sticky ends the Perdanese troops came to when they were brutally bludgeoned to death. Then you could comment on how their hollowed out skulls make for good candle stick holders and other overpriced ornaments hehe. Now thats news hehe - Revan

Of course they're IC. And obviously some propaganda is to be expected. But when you start insulting people in such a childish manner... (Perdanese becoming more stupid?)... I suppose that your IJARG prohibition on the writing "...of any articles specifically dedicated to the insulting or "bashing" of any other paper..." doesn't carry over to talking about other realm's players.

--Indirik 4 April 2006 01:10 (CEST)

Good point. To comply with IJARG regulations, the article title probably should be "Skirmish in Al Aquabbah?" or whatever. The in-article dissing is all right, so long as there is clearly another purpose to the article: Discussing/reporting on the skirmish in Al Aquabbah. So, to comply with IJARG regulations, I would STRONGLY RECOMEND changing the title to "Skirmish in AL Aquabbah". Vellos 4 April 2006 03:29 (CEST)

Ok, I'll change the name on one condition, you go yell at Talless for what she writes first. Besides, If your problem is with the insult being childish then I'm sure I could come up with a more elabrate one, but if you'll excuse me, i'm going to draft on insulting Ubent now... OOC: I wasn't insulting other players, but when enemy troop leaders are insulted in game and called stupid I should have the right to publish it in the realms newspaper, as an IC insult. --The1exile 4 April 2006 17:43 (CEST)

It isnt a problem of insulting IN THE ARTICLE, actually. Thats legit, because you clearly HAVE another purpose to the article. Its just the title. Vellos 4 April 2006 17:57 (CEST)

I stil say you should yell at twinblade first, but I will change the title. Busy now though, Caligus bashing to do! --The1exile 4 April 2006 18:12 (CEST)

Since the signing of IJARG, the Caligan Courier has not produced any articles, as far as I know. Its possible I'm wrong. Once they start coming out, we will watch them too. Vellos 4 April 2006 18:53 (CEST)

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You have Violated IJARG! The Caligan Tactic Disaster is an article that does nothing but insult us. You are the Itorunt Informer, keep Itorunts news not ours. I dont go around writing articles on your losses and calling you stupid! --Twinblade 11 April 2006 17:43 (CEST)

Excuse, me where have I violated the terms of the IJARG?

"IJARG papers are committed to not writing, or sponsoring the writing, of any articles specifically dedicated to the insulting or "bashing" of any other paper, IJARG, OCPAU, or otherwise."

My original beef was that you insulted Yssaria, our ally, now I defend them by glorifying your losses to them. Unfortunately, they seem to be having to much fun beating you to respond, so I have one Informer who is heading north with them, and then the whispers of the shadows. We report news on the east continent, with the knowledge from Itorunt, the most peace-loving realm on the whole Island. It may insult your realm, but not your paper directly. the article is CLEARLY about your realms ineptitude.

News will be coming soon on Perdans troops soon to be smashed.--The1exile 11 April 2006 21:09 (CEST)
P.S. On the off chance that Tom or anyone else thinks I'm a wannabe lawyer and get the urge to lightning one of my characters, this dodging round the terms of the agreement is purely IC.

I see no violation of IJARG principles. That article was about a Caligusian defeat, and may have mocked Caligus, but was not specifically centered around the mockery, but around Caligus' defeat. We never said we would stop bashing each other, just that we'd stop having articles specifically dedicated to doing so. Its not a super restrictive treaty, its a pretty broad guideline, and, when I first drafted it, was intended that way. If we would like to revise it, post proposed revisions on the IJARG discussion page, and they'll be reviewed by all signers available, and may or may not be added to the terms of agreement, at which point all signers are welcome to reconsidering their sponsorship of IJARG. Vellos 11 April 2006 22:56 (CEST)

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Since I can't publish this in the article, I will do it here: Hah! The inept Perdanese never stood a chance! We rule, we rule, we rule, bye-bye PMW!

More mockery will follow, both published and unpublished. --The1exile 12 April 2006 20:10 (CEST)

They aren't finished yet, theres still plenty of fight in the PMW. --Blackknight 12 April 2006 20:42 (CEST)

Pfeh, when PMW promises to tell us next time so we don't fight them? It seems to me to be a tactic to say "Please don't fight us". If you take my advice, run and hide, before the main army comes to clean house. Of course, Yssaria might have an issue wth you coming to fight them...--The1exile 12 April 2006 22:08 (CEST)

Hmm, it seems Perdan's honor only extends so far as convenience allows. - Thray Walsh

Hey, have you guys seen your king lately? I hope nothing has happened to him. --Indirik 13 April 2006 19:19 (CEST)

Oh, and by the way, nice surprise attack on the Mines of Isadril. That was positively brilliant! I bet no one saw that attack coming. You must have completely blindsided them. The way you guys support your Ibladeshian allies is incredible. --Indirik 13 April 2006 19:28 (CEST)

Ah, TK doesn't do much anyways, I know he's wounded. PMW is soon to be removed from Aeng, and the mines are going to be TO'd by Ibladesh any time now. Thanks for the compliment about the attack there being positively brilliant, now is PMW would just get their arrogant arses in gear then we can start to conentrate on our designs for a big fire-hose for Ibladesh city. --The1exile 13 April 2006 19:57 (CEST)

That sure is confident of you, after sending your armies on a wild goose chase and your ally risking its capital to kill a few militia troops in the Mines. As for the fire-hose, I don't think there will be much left here capable of burning when I'm done. However, your welcome to bring it if you'd like. My men could use something to get more Black & Tan to the front lines. This southern ale is horrible, what is it, 1% alcohol? We prefer 70% when on campaigns (to keep the men sober) and just drink it straight back home. :-) --Blackknight 13 April 2006 21:01 (CEST)

What wild goose chase? PMW was hit by our rearguard, and beaten. The fire-hose is for crowd control (OOC: I prefer masers, but they haven't been invented yet) since your troops is an illiterate mob that can't walk in a straight line. "A few militia" defend 40% of Ubents gold? And as for the alchohol, you should speak to my co-editor, since he runs ARSE. --The1exile 13 April 2006 22:32 (CEST)

I take great offence at my alcohol being called dilluted! Next time you find dilluted alcohol in any ARSE shops, I give you permission to off the brewer. That goes to anyone in any realm. ARSE has, does and will continue to offer the purest alcoholic beer there is if thats your style. We also offer many varieties, such as rums, whiskeys, wines, ales, vodka, tequila, gin, scotch, margaritas and more. We have even, in rare circumstances, imported alcohol from outside the continent. Aurum, Bishamon Family April 13, 2006 22:50 (CEST)

Yssaria, if you are a peaceful realm, why do you continue aggressions against Caligus? Later on, in the same message you declare that you will not take kindly to a noble with family in Caligus or Perdan? What a peaceful realm indeed. - I don't think you read the text correctly. It says that the Yssarian peasants desired peace. As long as Yssarian armies are in Caligus the homelands are peaceful, because the war is on foreign soil. Also, the TLs who have families in Caligus or Perdan could be a threat to the inner stability of the realm, which could eventually result in a civil war. How peaceful is that? Nylen 14 April 2006 00:55 (CEST)

That's Aurum's piece, but I think the point is that its not expressed very well. --The1exile 14 April 2006 01:03 (CEST)

You know whats interesting, the Mines are still at 100% morale, loyalty, and production. That must have been some attack. Even if you did damage, I doubt it would compare to the nearly 2000 gold coins missing from the vaults of Ibladesh, not to mention the burnt food and the damaged walls. As for Alcohol, I've never heard of ARSE...is it some sort of copy of the famous SASDA? --Blackknight 14 April 2006 03:34 (CEST)

SASDA? What in the nine hells is that? ARSE is the Alchohol Refinery and Sales Emporium, I believe I heard Kagurati mention a SADA, but that is different. --The1exile 14 April 2006 04:30 (CEST) I meant SADA, typo :-) --Blackknight 14 April 2006 05:28 (CEST)

I would like to retract my statement about offing my employees. I was angry at the time. Please report them to me instead. --Aurum Bishamon Family April 15, 2006 07:10 (CEST)

Elven lifespan

Calculations are courtsey of me, Hireshmont and Folite on IRC. --The1exile 15 April 2006 06:23 (CEST)

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I would appreciate it if you would report your own news in your own realm. Want to report ours, then go to Yssaria and make them a newspaper. You dont hear me reporting news down south, though if you want to i will gladly do so....--Twinblade 20 April 2006 14:20 (CEST)

Believe it or not, we report news on all the continent, thats why we covered the KI rebellion, and history of the Hand of Wisdom/Black Hand thing. It's a paper based in Itorunt, and we report the news of the continent. It's your choice whether you publish news about us. Besides, you don't publish your losses, someone has to... --The1exile 20 April 2006 15:06 (CEST)

Thats interesting, the Itorunt Informer doesn't publish losses from Itorunt or Ibladesh... --Blackknight 20 April 2006 16:33 (CEST)

Don't you think that's logical? 90% of succesful propaganda is not letting your people find out about your losses. Which is usually done by reporting the losses from the enemy. Marouane 20 April 2006 16:56 (CEST)

Well if the II is a propoganda machine and not infact an independent newspaper reporting the truth, then by all means, only report victories. --Blackknight 20 April 2006 17:27 (CEST)

Sorry, what losses from Itorunt do I not publish? Ibladesh... well, this isnt their paper. I don't report their victories either, unless Itorunt was a part of it. But the main reason for not reporting the battles of Ibladesh is because I couldn't give a damn about them. --The1exile 20 April 2006 18:31 (CEST)

Nice to know you care so much about the other members of your federation. As for not reporting the losses of Itorunt... Well, anyone in Perdan, Ubent, Ibladesh, or Itorunt that reads the notices can see all the losses the Itorunts have suffered while supporting Ibladesh. --Indirik 20 April 2006 18:56 (CEST)

Exactly why should I care about Ibladesh? No-one who actualy fights gives a damn either, its only the king. Still, their new Pontifex might do a good job, who knows? I'll report on our looting sprees soon. --The1exile 20 April 2006 19:12 (CEST)

I am impressed by the lack of respect you have for the people you fight and die beside. It seems Perdan has more respect for Ibladesh then Itorunt does. --Blackknight 20 April 2006 23:19 (CEST)

Unlike the II the CC reports our losses, in fact the past few articles have been almost entirely based on our losses. And everyone in Caligus knows it. I just throw in a few things to make the TL's of caligus brighten up instead of being depressed about all the losses. And since you cover all of the continents news, why dont you report Ibladeshes? You calim you couldnt care less about them, but they are right out your back door, you could probly post more about them then about Itorunt. It would make your paper more interesting, and seeing as i am one of your only veiwers.........--Twinblade 21 April 2006 00:14 (CEST)

Sorry, let me get this straight. I am supposed to MAKE UP some losses that Itorunt has suffered recently, just so you lot think that I'm not being unfair. The fact of the matter is, Itorunt hasn't been defeated in battle at all recently. Ibladesh dies every time we're not there in force. I do report what could be considered losses; notice that there is actually articles on how we got looted for a while by Perdans Menstrual Whiners.

Blacknight, if only you could see what is said about Ibladesh, by our TL's, by our counts, and by our general. That Ibladesh does nothing aside from be killed every time we're not there to support them does not engender sympathy. I personally respect the strength of Perdan, and their prowess on the battlefield, although your choice of an ally in Ubent is strange, to say the least. I respect the soldiers who have the nerve to meet me honourably on the field of battle, but those soldiers of Ibladesh that cannot hold their own capital, for them, I have nothing but contempt. They should grow a spine, but in the mean time, they are our confederates, and if they die as a realm, they moan and groan while running to our realm. I have infinitely more respect for Yssaria who have suffered a change of leadership, and yet continue to defeat Caligus and claim their regions. --The1exile 21 April 2006 01:11 (CEST)

If you have so little respect for them, and you don't care about them, then why are you in a Federation with them? Why do you bother to keep sending troops to die on their lands?

As for Itorunt losses, you lose troops every time Perdan comes down to battle Ibladesh. At least half, if not more, of the Itorunt/Ibladesh forces are actually Itorunt troops. (Perhaps you haven't realized that the reason you need to keep recruiting more troops is that they keep getting killed.) You make no announcement when your king is wounded in Ibladesh city and all his soldiers are killed. You made no posts when Perdan and Ubent attacked Al Aquabah and both Ibladesh and Itorunt lost many troops. You cackle and crow when Perdanese nobles miss a turn change and get captured by overwhelming Itorunt/Ibladesh forces, but hold your tongue when Itorunt troops do the same. You blow your own trumpet when you manage to catch up with the PMW as they crossed your realm from the eastern borders to the west, looting as they go. But you make no mention when they fight your troops head-to-head and win, like they did in Ejarr Puutl and Itor Boss. (Although Itor Boss is Ibladesh lands, it was the Itorunt army that was defeated there, and the Itorunt banker that was wounded.)

If you want to only report the few minor victories that Itorunt can muster, that's fine. It is, after all, your paper. But to sit here and claim that you would have to make up up losses because the glorious Itorunt army never loses? Things like that strain even your slight credibility. --Indirik 21 April 2006 15:53 (CEST)

I know you won't be able to see the actual battle report for a while, so I thought I'd let you know how your attack in Beziers went today. You know, professional courtesy and all that stuff.

2nd Army Rangers (3) take 1585 hits (1488 in close combat, 97 from archer fire), which cause 21 casualties, wiping the unit out.

Alex of Itorunt has been wounded.

--Indirik 21 April 2006 18:49 (CEST)

As to why Ibladesh and Itorunt are still in a federation, the rulers dont necessarily have the same opinions and views as the rest of their nobles. Sorcha is a prime example. As for not reporting losses, again, that's propaganda for you. How do you think the people would react when their paper headlines 'Our army has been defeated!'? Independent papers should report unbiased, but realm papers can spew forth as much propaganda and lies as they want. And it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If you want to see articles about your enemy's losses, write them yourselves. Marouane 21 April 2006 19:16 (CEST)

Firstly, don't rub it in, that's a game bug, not foolishness. I KNOW I set my men to evasive, I did it 15 minutes before the turn change. I have reported that to the bugtracker now, and it's not the only issue I have had with unit settings. Secondly, as for losses, the Itorunt army isn't the one that loses. And, if you had bothered to read the paper, there is a mention of TK being MIA in a haiku. Itorunt is led by the ruler, that he goes against the will of the people in instructing the general to aid Ibladesh. Thirdly, I can see the battle report, evidently you haven't been around long. Finally, I hadn't recruited troops in 2 and a half months before PMW. So much for keeping having to recruit. --The1exile 21 April 2006 19:36 (CEST)

Yeah, kinda like what happened to the PMW? But you still called them ignorant and denied their claims, so I guess we can do the same to you.

That was real, real, real smoothe, man.

Also, it's not OUR fault you haven't had to recruit in two months. Maybe if you'd quit cowering in the rear you would have to recruit a few archers after every battle?- Hynes

Don't rub it in? Doesn't feel very good, does it? Remember that feeling the next time you go spouting off about how the Perdanese are stupid, or about how you outsmarted the "Perdan's Menstrual Whiners". Eventually, it's going to your turn in front of the firing squad.

If you treat Perdan with respect, we'll treat you with respect.

--Indirik 21 April 2006 20:10 (CEST)

I've been discussing the battle with some people, and one possibility is that your unit is too large for evasive orders to be effective. You had 31 men, and entered a region with over 650 defending troops. You would most likely not have successfully evaded the defenders, in any case.--Indirik 21 April 2006 20:16 (CEST)

I have been asked to pass this message along from ][osferatu, a PMW member, who does not have a Wiki account:

To clear things out for the PMW, the attack on Enubec was never meant to happen. One of our TL's forgot to change his settings and as a result he triggered the battle. He got reprimanded by everyone in the BG and I'm sure he will not be repeating that mistake. The battle could have been won if we wanted to but we just wanted to save our strength for a greater purpose.

Now, while our defeat was based on a single TL's mistake, yours is based on sheer stupidity! Only a fool would believe it to be a bug failing to evade with 31(!!!) men. Even with 4-5 men you pray for the evasion to work and you're so ignorant and foolish to believe you could get away with it?

So be it, Perdan is giving free lessons to noobs with a big mouth today: The "Evade" option is random if you know what that means. You enter the region hoping for your men to successfuly pass by unnoticed by the enemy forces. Trying that with a small army of 31 men while over 600 enemies are around is just plain stupid. Don't blame it on a bug in the game, even with 4 men as I said it's bound to fail. Blame it on your ignorance and the gap in your head.

If evasion worked everytime, everyone would get their army in the enemy's capital and raze it to the ground. Does that make sense to you?

--Indirik 21 April 2006 21:20 (CEST)

Ok, thats it. I am afraid that you cannot even read, or count. I had a unit of 20 men, and I am a hero. Last I checked, Heroes are not 11 men. Therefore, you can't count, if you think I had 31 men. Also, when I say it is a game bug, I mean its a game bug. I KNOW I changed my settings, and if you insult my intelligence by saying I didn't, thats OOC, and as such, I don't want to har it here. Go play an FPS or something. Evidently you didn't read the battle report, my unit still had attack orders.

Also, you are misinformed as to how evasion works. A unit that has successfully evaded combat cannot loot, raze, or do anything to harm the enemy, unless the enemy isn't there, in which case they haven't evaded.

Perhaps you don't understand. I DO respect Perdan, on certain conditions. Those conditions were broken, by PMW. So why should I trust those who forget their word? Read above, I have showed more respect for Perdan than for Ibladesh, and I respect their prowess on the battlefield. Or, to make a more simple comparison, I respect Blacknight, but not you, Indirik.

Tell ][osferatu he's a moron, and his scribe could still find me if he bothered looking through his messages. I understand what he means about PMW forgetting to change their settings. Though if they actually forgot, that is legitimate grounds to make fun of. When it's a bug in the actual game, lay off.

What claims of PMW have I denied? Aside from that they "accidentally" entered Itorunt, yes, either they can't read a map, or they lie. Now why should we respect liars?

When you next meet me on the field of battle we will talk. I'll shoot you an arrow with the messages, then you won't even need to come out of your camp! See how nice I am? --The1exile 21 April 2006 21:57 (CEST)

Before you call someone a moron and claim they're incapable of reading the battle report, perhaps you should look at it yourself.

2 A Ladies of the Splinter Fiolafen Itorunt 32 Arch line 378

3 A 2nd Army Rangers Alex Itorunt 21 Arch line 408

He said you brought a unit of 21 and 31 archers. Lookey there, you DID! Hynes 21 April 2006 22:16 (CEST)

Actually, he said "You had 31 men". I am Alex. "Lookey there, you DID!"...NOT. --The1exile 21 April 2006 23:55 (CEST)

You being the group, Alex.Hynes 22 April 2006 01:33 (CEST)

Whatever. I refuse to argue with people who don't understand the distinction between IC and OOC. Insults here are IC, when I say theres a bug, thats OOC. --The1exile 22 April 2006 14:15 (CEST)

Yssaria's "peace"

Yssaria, if you are a peaceful realm, why do you continue aggressions against Caligus? Later on, in the same message you declare that you will not take kindly to a noble with family in Caligus or Perdan? What a peaceful realm indeed. - I don't think you read the text correctly. It says that the Yssarian peasants desired peace. As long as Yssarian armies are in Caligus the homelands are peaceful, because the war is on foreign soil. Also, the TLs who have families in Caligus or Perdan could be a threat to the inner stability of the realm, which could eventually result in a civil war. How peaceful is that? Nylen 14 April 2006 00:55 (CEST)

That's Aurum's piece, but I think the point is that its not expressed very well. --The1exile 14 April 2006 01:03 (CEST)

Sorry, didn't see this earlier. Who comprises the units? I believe the peasants do. The peasants go to the recruiting center and sign up to be soldiers. If they desired peace wouldn't they not volunteer to be soldiers? --Aurum Bishamon Family April 21, 2006 20:20 (CEST)

OOC comments

Being a soldier was a job like many others in medieval times. Some peasants became farmers, others became artisans, some became traders, and a handful became soldiers. Being a soldier doesn't mean you lust for war, you can sign up for the army for purely defensive purposes as well. Generals give out orders, and soldiers follow them. Just because you sign up for the army doesn't mean you only wish for the destruction of other realms. Might I also add that this whole discussion looks pretty dumb from an outsider's point of view? If you have differences, duke it out on the battlefield, instead of boring others by throwing silly comments back and forth. 'The pen is mightier than the sword' is a saying that doesn't apply to medieval times. In medieval times, words meant nothing. It is the sword that decides arguments. Marouane 22 April 2006 01:40 (CEST)

First of this is all IC. You don't have to read it if you don't want to. Some of us like to roleplay. Second, I am aware of the facts you stated. Except for your statement that words didn't mean a lot in the medieval age. They did. --Bishamon Family April 22, 2006 04:32 (CEST)

They did. They were the perfect excuse to draw your sword and put a few extra holes in your enemy.