Itorunt Informer/April '06

The Itorunt Informer
Price: Free! Written by the Exiled Family and Aurum Bishamon (some editing and input by Ichigo).	Bringing you the best of the press from Itorunt!	April Edition

End of the month round up

Well, it's the end of the month, and things look grim for this paper. One of the co-founders has been banned from Itorunt. Still, we will attempt to keep you informed on how things go, and see if we can keep reporting the truth!

Aestus has come back to Caligus, unfortunately... but we don't expect that to last long. In the forthcoming May issue we intend to get an interview with the Yssarian leadership on how things are going.

Oligarch had finally recieved Perdanese aid... and yet, they still lost their great battle! A vision of things to come, perhaps.

The Great War Editorial Series Announcement

I, Aurum, will start a series of editorials on the Great War. First, I will be stating my hope that Oligarch will survive. Second, I state my hope that the war will end in a peace agreement. My third hope is that a treaty will be declared, stating that anyone who declares war or hatred upon another realm will be subject to food starvation by all other realms. However, there will be more in this. There will even be a historical post for the newer nobles.

Caligan losses in Aestus, and update on the Ibladesh front

Glory to Yssarian troops! The Caligan losing streak has been renewed, as Yssaria has destroyed Caligus mobile forces in Aestus, and are now laying claim to the region. Forces from Yssaria under the command of Prandur are now en route to help Ibladeshian defenders, while the brave soldiers of Itorunt are engaged in striking deep at the heart of Perdan. Reports on the attles will soon follow; watch this space!

Report on the scattered PMW raiders in our lands

All glory to Itorunt troops! As the sun set across the lands of Jariedma and Semall, the brave troops of Itorunt faced the murderous advances of the Perdanese raiders. In Itor Boss the defenders faced a shoddy group of rag-tag dogs, and their commander, nathan, is now in all probability doing his best to loot his Itorunt jail cell, asour brave defenders captured him while fighting off his unit. All glory must be given to the brave defenders of Ejarr Puutl though; the brave troops of Thray and Fortin single handedly held off 6 Perdanese TL's, in an epic battle worthy of the heroes of old. Fighting as one, the infantry and archers of these brave troop leaders fought the raiders, with Thray's infantry advancing to hold off the raiders, and Fortin's archers loosing rounds of arrows upon the enemy infantry. An epic battle commenced, and while Itorunts infantry troops were destroyd the raiders took heavier losses, being driven from the field, in a lack of tactics that allowed the archers to fire on the cavalry with no losses, due to the cavalry not being able to scale the walls.

Itorunt forces are now retreating from Ejarr Puutl to head off and aid our ally Ibladesh, and their newly appointed pontifex Quake. We are confident that "Perdans Menstrual Whiners" have been smashed against the strength of these forces. Actually we're certain. We've fought them all the way out through Jariedma and Zamor.

Interview with Robert, Count of Zamor and Marshal of the army of Semall

We have waited a whiile, but we have finally managed recieve a response to questions that we put to Robert a few days ago.

How do you view the current events in Kalmar Islands regarding the "dead" realm Avamar?

It is my opinion and many here in fair Itorunt that feel anyone putting Avamar in a good light deserves to die kicking at the end of a spear. Like an undead creature that returns from the grave to leech off the good of the land, Avamar continues to pull it's moldering corpse into the current political standings. I hope everyone around does what is right and drives a wooden stake through the heart of this new "avamar" and El Cid.

How do you view the current situation with Ibladesh?

Things have changed since you asked me this question. It is hard to mount a co-ordinated campaign when you must return to your homeland to refit. We were in the midsts of doing just that when the Perdanese strike force hit our nation by suprise. I only wish that they had waited a turn or two and we would have been right where they were smashing through. It would have been a short battle.

What do you think of the recent battle that the rearguard of Itorunt had with PMW?

I think it was a splendid example of Itorunt's military prowess when our rearguard was able to defeat their raiding party. I am particularly proud of Lodius, one my knights, in this battle. It is unfortunate that he was not at the victory celebrations. Overall, I have the utmost faith in our armed forces.

Do you think it is acceptable that we should allow them passage to loot our allies?

What I continue to shake my head at is the "honor" of Perdan throughout all of this. At first Perdanese from the raiding party say that they were just cutting through Itorunt lands on their way to Ibladesh lands. This is a lie as our lands were not directly in their way. It was a simple lie. After this battle, the Perdanese make a dash to raid our backlands. This is in direct violation of a non-looting agreement that our king made with their monarch. I sent a direct letter to their monarch to recieve some rebuff about not having such an agreement. I recall the discussion about such an agreement in the Lord's Council of Itorunt and know the truth, though.

Do you think it is acceptable that they should have attacked militia hired by Yssaria?

First, I don't believe the militia was hired by Yssaria, but is patriotic local militia out to defend their lands against maruaders and monsters. I believe that most of the monies that is spent on these fine troops is merely upkeep on their equipment, fortifications, and barracks. These are mostly an all-volunteer force, if I am not mistaken.

As to the devastation brought to them by Perdan, it goes to show what they bring to this world: death and destruction. Perdan's war machine is honorless and spiteful. Destruction is the only thing that Perdan's touch brings. They dedicate an entire section of their armed forces to rape, burn, and pillage. I have spoken with prisoners of these units that our forces have captured and I can say that these are the worst example of mercenary scum and depraved humans that East Continent could offer. Most of them joined merely for the pleasure of destruction.

An ode to Itorunt, and against her enemies

Here at the Itorunt Informer, we are dedicated to literary excellence, and so we have decided to publish an ode about Itorunt, her strength and her peaceful nature.

Oh Itorunt, great Itorunt,
Your peaceful nature disturbed by the machinations of your enemies,
Their evil, underhanded ways will not aid them,
We shall emerge victorious!

Perdanese curs shall not succeed,
Itorunts troops shall shatter the bringers of such monstrosities,
And then the monstrosities that call themselves nobles,
Will themselves fall.

Ubentish wimps,
Run far away, screaming blue murder,
The honourable Itorunt troops shall pursue you to the last man,
And you will fail in your task as Perdanese butt-kisser.

Great king TK,
Where are you in our hour of need?
Come, help deliver us,
We need our leader.

Nobles of Itorunt,
Endure the insults hurled by these fools,
Our marshals lead us,
And we shall be avenged, word for word!

Perdanese curs kill, rape and burn innocent Itorunt peasants!

A noble who dropped by here earlier today mentioned today that "Hmm, it seems Perdan's honor only extends so far as convenience allows." The truth in this statement is undeniable, and Perdan used to describe itself as an honourable realm. Itorunt, as a peace-loving realm has never done any recent looting worse than taxes and food, and when the army last did that we eventually made an agreement that we would NOT loot each others realms while we were not at war, and yet what is this? Perdanese troops, bloody and battered, recuperate by forcing peasants to fulfil their base desires. A fine way to celebrate the loss of their fallen hero Ashoka.

Ironic, since they also claim they fought us by mistake:

"It was a mistake from one of our TL's that caused this." ][osferatu of Perdan.

Hypocrisy of the Continentals!

There are realms of East Continent that profess peace and honor. Behold:

• Kalmer Islands: "Our Goal is to establish "Avamar", and bring equality and freedom once again to the East Continent."
  
• Old Rancagua: "The White Tree was created by those that loved nature long before our lands where inhabited. It is the symbol of peace and love, respect it and you have our respect."
  
• Perdan: "Perdan gained the respect of other realms on this Island for many reasons but above all because a Perdanite honors his words and fight those who don’t."
  
• Ubent: "The Republic of Ubent is a realm of noble warriors, currently led by Prime Minister Finwe (following on from the heroic Illidorn and Zog Returns) and the Senate. We are in the process regaining our glory, and returning to the international stage.

We are at war with the those that might oppress honor and good will on the East Continent."

• Yssaria: "This realm, formed by peasants, tired of the repeated destruction of their homelands, desired peace above all else.

We welcome people from all nationalities and religions. We are tolerant, hard working people, as we are a growing, stable realm. One side note however, if you have family in either Caligus or Perdan, we will not take kindly to your existance"

• Oligarch: "The history of Oligarch is written in blood. The route we followed in time is the one traced by acts of honour."
  

As you can see, I have not discriminated in picking those realms of hypocricy. First, Kalmer Islands is in no way to proclaim equality and freedom. Read on their rebellion. El Cid has threatened to execute someone for each day Perdan is in their lands. How is that freedom? How is a dead person equal to El Cid. Other than the fact that both are cold, one physically, one in the heart.

Old Rancagua is the same realm that caused a civil war between Rancagua and itself. From what I understand, there were harsh words during the civil war that were thrown on both sides.It was also involved in a bloody rebellion and counter-rebellion. I understand that the rebellions were due to outside factors, but it still reflects on the realm.

Perdan has not honored its word in recent events. Just read the below article.

If Ubent is at war with those that oppress peace and goodwill on the continent, then why are they at war with us? Yes, I know they've called us a noble opponent, but the fact remains the same. They are at war with us and they claim that the reason they are at war with us is because we oppress peace and goodwill?

Yssaria, if you are a peaceful realm, why do you continue aggressions against Caligus? Later on, in the same message you declare that you will not take kindly to a noble with family in Caligus or Perdan? What a peaceful realm indeed.

Finally, Oligarch. Somehow the concept of its history being written in blood and the route being traced by acts of honor don't fit well. This is also the same realm that fermented rebellion in Old Rancagua and continually bashes other realms.

If only these realms that profess peace could for once be peaceful and stop their wars of aggression. It is time for this Great War to end. I'm sure if we all got together, we could find a way to end hostilities and come to peace again.

Ubent smashed in the Mines of Isadril, and advances made by Perdan

Ibladesh, Itorunt vs. Ubent Estimated combat strengths: 8000 CS vs. 3000 CS

For those that don't know, the Mines of Isadril are responsible for roughly 40% of Ubents tax income. This battle was a resounding, with little or no casualties sustained on the side of the attackers. Ubent's weakness is becoming more apparent by the day.

In other news, the dishonourable Perdanese troops of Perdans Murderous Wrath have broken the agreements that were made under our previous king and previous general, not to loot since we were not at war. These so-called "honourable" troop leaders have been killing raping and burning in Itorunt regions in the fashion of a "glass dagger" tactic, disregarding the agreements that they made when they were desparate to end looting in Clermont and Lorient to name two regions that were hit in our campaign.

PMW ... well whats the word? Smashed, ruined, defeated, none of them do justice

Today an epic battle took place on Itorunt soil, between the brave troops of Itorunt, and the immoral, dishonourable, badly trained Perdan troops. Whilst the numbers of combat strength were relatively low (Perdan had 392 men, 4737CS attacking, versus an improvised defensive force of Itorunt of 268 men, 4057CS defending with level one walls). The fighting was close, up to the very last round of combat when the remaining cavalry of Perdan were routed by the combined archer troops of Vidad Filador, and the hero Alex Exiled. Let's quote from the Perdan-issued bulletin about PMW:

"This battlegroup contains the most active, most battle-hardened of all of Perdan's forces."

Now lets recap: this group, the most active and best trained of all the Perdan TL's was shattered by the rearguard of our defensive realm. We have a report of what the heralds sing:

Battle in Enubec
Perdan vs. Itorunt
Estimated combat strengths: 4000 CS vs. 4000 CS
The hero Sir Ashoka of Perdan (Perdan) was killed.
Lodius (Knight of Zamor) (Itorunt) was captured by Perdan forces.

Defender Victory!
That's right, Itorunt forces, summoned up at a moments notice felled a hero of Perdan! It is indeed a pity that we lost Lodius to the Perdanese forces, his loyalty and bravery in the face of the enemy will be remembered. More news will follow shortly.

Avamar's Declaration

Today everyone in the realm of Itorunt recieved a copy of this bill, the declaration of the Avamarian peoples, regarding the state of the Kalmar Islands and the rebellion led by El Cid.

DECLARATION OF THE AVAMARIAN PEOPLE

After long discussions and taking into account the Avamarian principle that the people have the right to self-determination, to select their governement and the way they will be ruled, and having knowledge that El Cid's movement was not merely an attempt to overthrow a legitimate government but a movement with considerable public support, a continental wide voting followed to conclude on the future stance of the People of Avamar towards the new realm.

27 Avamarians, from various realms, excluding those that followed El Cid from the begining took part in the voting. With 17 votes in favour, 4 against and 6 abstained, the People of Avamar decided to recognise El Cid's realm as "Avamar" as long as this is the will of local people, but only under the conditions presented below:

1. The new realm must be governed democratically having Democracy or Republic as its formal governance system.
2. The name, insignia, history, constitution, tradition, culture and diplomacy of Avamar are already existent and no changes shall be made unless the majority of Avamarians decide to do so through the legal means and political tools provided (referendums, public discussions, voting).
3. The majority of Avamarians in exile must agree to support and eventually join the new realm in order to give to the new realm the required legitimacy as Avamar.
4. El Cidd and One swear an honorbound oath breakable only upon death that they will never attempt such a stunt as was pulled before and that One takes responsibility –after explaining fully his past actions in a public trial- for helping build up the regions.
5. Those who were loyal to Kalamar islands prior to re-structuring have the ban removed from them within a month and after swearing publicly their loyalty to the new regime will be allowed to return. In cases of crimes undertaken after the ratification of this declaration, they shall be put on a fair and public trial before acceptance.
6. El Cidd and his supporters will be the responsible for the uprising, and not Avamar as an entity. If that is not met then we're just going to have a major mudslinging contest again.
7. Fair elections will lead to the new Council of Avamar after the period required for all newly arrived Avamarians to vote.
8. This declaration is formally ratified and as such is forwarded to the current Kalmar council for acceptance. Upon acceptance to all points presented above, the new realm will be formally recognized globally as "Avamar".

Sir Lalakis

Aureus Falls to Yssarian forces

Today we recieved word that Aureus has ben taken over by Yssarian forces. Itorunt also had a TL on scene to assist in the fighting, sorry, make that assist in the pathetic attempt by Caligan forces to hold on to their own regions! Caligus' regions are falling rapidly to the advance of Yssarian troops. We will attempt to keep informing the readers of Caligus' chronic failure to achieve success in battle, find the true account of Yssarian fighting here at the Itorunt Informer!

You remember that tactical nightmare Caligus was having...

Well, it's still going on! Today we recieved word of yet another huge battle in Supra, and again the Yssarians beat them back! Take a look at the report: Huge Battle Fought Rumours spread and tales are sung about a huge battle in Supra:
Caligus vs. Yssaria
Estimated combat strengths: 8000 CS vs. 10000 CS
Zelos (Knight of Tokat) (Caligus) was captured by Yssaria forces.
jeffrey (Knight of Scio) (Caligus) was captured by Yssaria forces.
Cartor (Lord) (Caligus) was captured by Yssaria forces.
Medium, Baron of Scio (Caligus) was captured by Yssaria forces.
Kheldar (Knight of Domus) (Caligus) was captured by Yssaria forces.

Defender Victory!

I really don't believe their ineptitude! Once again, they LOST, got a load of TL's captured... Oh wait, look at the list! Cartor was captured AGAIN! Obviously he paid his ransom, only to end up right back there, now how stupid is that! You know when I said they had such big heads they probably couldn't get through the door? I take that back, they're just plain weak! A pity I can't go fight them, but still, it's fun beating Ubent as well. I feel kind of bad for being able to take the mick out of them so easily when they don't even have a newspaper though... Maybe they should join with Perdan completely, rather than just having the official role of Perdanese Butt-kisser.

Talk is cheap, Ubent...

After being thoroughly routed, Ubent troops still had the audacity to answer back to Itorunt and Ibladesh troops. Valgar, a TL of Ibladesh and knight of Al Arab said "Run Ubent scum"... speaks for itself doesn't it? And yet the General of Ubent, speedy, still had the audacity to say "we are running, but thats just so we can come back and whoop you guys once again." Excuse me? When was the last time Ubent won a battle fighting on its own and not hiding behind Perdan? Actually, forget my opinion, have a quote from our very own master of strategy, supreme commander of the troops and High marshal of all Itorunts ducal armies (yes I know it's not an official title), Lucian Vincent:

"Letter from Lucian (52 recipients) Message sent to: Everyone in this region

You mean have Perdan come and do all the work and sneak in when no one is looking and take half the credit... right?

Sir Lucian High Marshal of Itorunt"

You got that right! In fact, the truth in that statement is so strong that even the troop leaders of Ubent are trying to sidle up to those of Itorunt. A prominent TL, Zog Returns, the duke of Castle Ubent, tried to sweet talk his way into the favour of Itorunt, making this short speech:

" I have the greatest respect for Itorunt - Itorunt has been consistent throughout the history I can remember, and that goes back a long long way - back to the days when my father who was originally from Itorunt.

Ibladesh is a false friend, thy twist and turn. Itorunt may remmeber the many turns Ibladesh has made - so many - that watchers become dizzy.

Ibladesh switches aliances and stabs allies in the back so often that their courtiers know not whom to call friend or foe.

I salute all in Itorunt as worthy foes and hope that Ubent and Itorunt can work together in the future.

Ibladesh - well - any who trust in their word - there is a place in a psychiatric ward for them."

It's a pity they don't have a newspaper to ridicule, if this is their intended diplomatic stance. I wonder if their ruler shares these opinions... but I leave that to your imagination, and with yet another quote. As Ibladesh says:

"See the Perdan-lackies, Ubent, sidling up to the honorable Itorunt forces.

Pathetic."

Caligus' tactical nightmare

The utter morons in Caligus just assaulted a Yssarian force twice their size with some of their veteran TL's. Here is a report of the so-called "huge battle": Huge Battle Fought (just in) Rumours spread and tales are sung about a huge battle in Supra:
(rogue), Caligus vs. Yssaria
Estimated combat strengths: 8000 CS vs. 16000 CS
El'rith of Caligus (Caligus) was seriously wounded.
Cartor, Duke of Domus (Caligus) was captured by Yssaria forces.
Gunder of Caligus (Caligus) was seriously wounded.

Defender Victory!

And the editor of their paper is called Talless the Tactical? Who decided on that stirike then? I also seem to recall Cartor slagging this newspaper off in an interview, and yet he was captured in this pathetic attempt at a battle? The Caligans must have such big heads to attempt that sort of flop battle, maybe thats why most of their forces couldn't fit through the front door? We'll try and get some more info from Yssaria and keep you posted on more frequent Caligan failures!

Skirmish in Al Aquabah?

Are the Perdanese becoming more stupid? Today a report of this skirmish reached the ears of Itorunt nobles: Skirmish in Al Aquabah The following units attacked Al Aquabah:

   * "Elutians" (Korelan (Knight of Perdan), Perdan)
   * "Attons bushmen" (Atton (Noble), Perdan)
   * "Meridril Guards" (Vanalan (Noble), Perdan)

Due to the overwhelming odds, however (*censored* CS defending forces), the attackers were quickly surrounded and forced to surrender. The attacking units were dissolved, and their commanders taken into custody in Ibladesh.

Sorry Perdan! These troop leaders ransoms will help to rebuild Ibladesh, and further troops leaders are hanging around to capture yet more. Foolish TL's with shattered units are still hanging around eyeing our confederate troops with envy. We will hunt down the Perdanese and Ubent troops, and our next plan is one of simplicity in its execution, but genius in its conception, for which the kudos goes to the High Marshal of Itorunt, Lucian Vincent. More details will follow.

Battle in Al Aquabah

Today the brave troops of Itorunt and Ibladesh stood on the field of battle in Al Aquabah, and looked out across the field at the almost equal number of troops from Perdan and Ubent. As the opposing sides formed up, Barzelli of Ibladesh, duke of Al Arab, Marshal of the army of Al Arab took command of the troops preparing for the Assault against our enemies. The battle commenced, and itorunts brave archers were deployed on the frontline, along with the only unit of MI led by lielo, a new troop leader in our realm. The Archers opened fire, and our well-trained troops scored many hits, and Perdans troops fell against the might. This was a drop in the ocean though, as the next round of combat proved. The Perdanese and Ubentish troops surged forward and the only troops that were in range took all the heat, lielos troop of mixed infantry. These brave troops were targeted by almost all of Perdans archers, and the infantry that had made it to the front lines all tried to attack him and his troops. lielo fell wounded, but the Itorunt and Ibladesh infantry and cavalry had now arrived on the scene, and charged forward as one into the ranks of the enemy troops. The fighting was fierce, and in this round of fighting alone the troop leaders started to fall, including Barzelli who was wounded. The archers put more arrows on string, and as the yell was heard Perdans archers loosed another round of arrows into the fray, most finding their mark. The archers of the confederate forces of Itorunt and Ibladesh concentrated on firing on the enemy archers behind the front lines however, and the screams of pain could be heard even over the din of battle as the enemy troops were hit. Sone enemy troop leaders, such as Gorobei, Balkeese and Isander, were captured by the noble troops of Itorunt, but yet more were captured by Ibladesh. The fighting went on, largely undecided, but after 10 rounds the defending forces were clearly thinned out, and the exhausted enemy troops started to flee the battlefield. The final round of combat saw the last unit of Ubentish infantry take serious hits from the remaining troops, and the enemy archers be shot to pieces. After the battle was won the scene was one of desolation, but Itorunt and Ibladesh had won through, and further troops of Itorunt are inbound from our regions and allied cities.

Agreement signed with the IJARG

Two of the three editors of the Itorunt Informer have signed the agreement of the IJARG, and have agreed to a (sort-of) cease-fire in the journalistic war with the papers of the OCPU.

Interview with Rackir, duke of Isadril

How do you view the war with Caligus, and which way is it going?

My views will shock some people. We went to war with Caligus to make them pay for what Rameriz did when he was king here. The handing over of Isadril to Caligus is what I talk about. We took Supra in payment for his deed. Now that Supra is ours again we should start to look at peace with Caligus. I doubt they will have it though. As far as the war is going, we will win it unless Perdan saves them. We outproduce Caligus in everything. Gold, food, best dougnuts, you name it.

What are your views on their newspaper the Caligan Courier?

Until recently I did not even know they had a newspaper. I guess I should start reading it and see what they have to say.

What do you think of the war in the north?

It is a matter of time before Oligarch dies. I hate to see a realm die, but they and others did destroy Combria. Combria has a special place in my heart from my trading days. Perdan will try to save them, but they can not be everywhere.

What do you think about the war here in the south of Ibladesh and Itorunt fighting Perdan and Ubent?

Sooner or later Perdan will be spread to thin helping Oligarch, and Caligus. Ibladesh will take back their lands. I just wish we could help Ibladesh more as they have been good allies to us.

Do you have any comments you would like to make of your own?

Stop by any of the guild houses of the Order of the Doughnuts and sample our doughnuts. We have the best bakers around. I might add Isadril produces the best tasting in my opinion.

Haikus on Itorunt

To show our love of peace in Itorunt, here are some Haikus:

Itorunt, great realm,
Times of Trouble force us to fight,
When we all love peace.

Caligan Papers,
Spreading discord in our midst,
The truth is our strength.

Propaganda from,
Oligarchian morons,
Is quick in coming.

The OCPU,
Shall not out sell us at all,
We shall win this War!

P.S. We know it's called the OCPAU, but we don't count dead realms.

The Flawed Argument and a Poem too!

The Oligarchian Observer believes they can make a comparison between our regions and their troopleaders proving Oligarch better. If such a comparison is possible, then surely a comparison between our population and their troopleaders should be legitimate. Therefore, Itorunt is more beloved, and inheritantly better, than Oligarch. As for psychoanalysis of your troopleaders, do you not trust them? If you plan to report each psychoanalization, it would be an entertaining read on the mind of an Oligarchian. Perhaps I should suggest that our judge psychoanalysis the next Oligarchian we find.

Now for a poem, to class up our newspaper:

Itorunt, Itorunt
How beloved you are,
You spread peace and riches
throughout the world
like perfume that wafts through the air
Unlike our enemies,
whose odor pollutes the world
people, animals, crops, nature itself
is polluted by the stench of war and brutality

Yet there are enemies
who would wish to end this,
for they wish to live in a brutal world
of war, rape, pillaging, mistrust, and poverty.

Our way is better
oh Itorunt, Itorunt,
wanter of a merciful world,
spreader of peace, riches, family, trust and hospitality

Gopherman, what a great leader he was
The epitomization of what Itorunt stands for
For he brought peaceful relationshions to a wartorn land
If only his successors could share his beliefs of peace
Gopherman, may your days be long

Priotness Vacationing

In a break from the petty squabbling that wars bring, I will give a run-down of what Priotness has to offer vacationers. At first glance, it appears to be an expanse of grass with a miniscule, yet long coastline. However, once you arrive, it is a busting province. The main city, directly south of Itorunt, is filled with many shops to buy trinkets for your family. The city is a true tourist stop. I wanted to relax however, so I only stopped long enough to let go of my scribe and employees. The coastline is beautiful. While it is true, it is not the tropical resorts you might find elsewhere on the East Continent, the ocean is really thought-provoking. I suggest that all those stressed-out governmental leaders visit.

The best part were the underground caves. Most people don't interact with those in the country, therefore they are relatively unknown. Inside, you find all sorts of amazing things. I saw paintings on the wall that compete with some of the best royal painters. The gems, some of which I had never seen before, appear brighter and clearer underground. There is even an amusement park. I hadn't had such fun since I would go hiking in the mountains of Atamara as a boy. The underground trails were fun. I believe they are more extensive than just Priotness, but I don't know for sure. The locals say they have always existed, but they have also added on to them throughout time. Perhaps they are an ancient system of travel that has been forgotten through the passage of time. If we had a couple investigators we could possibly find out. Time sped by faster than ever in the tunnels. I believe I might have spent nearly my entire vacation time in them. I know that I want to explore more later if I ever find time off again.

Outrageous claims by the Caligan Courier!

Although we at the Itorunt Informer are dedicated to truth, and honouring the rules of engagement, the comments of the Caligan Courier and their associated franchise (which we don't even bother looking at, if I wanted to see rubbish I would look out over the fortifications at the forces of Ubent). BUT these claims are outrageous, despicable, and downright offensive to our allies, although I don't mind being in a realm called "the great saviour".

Countering Every argument made by Cartor the Cretin, Duke of Domus

The recent fighting? I believe they have foughten as one, and won as one. Only if we can achieve a battle like that, we can win again. Mainly they just changed tactics, and we are adjusting.

Oh yeah, sure, "we're adjusting", thats just a posh way of saying "we're losing".

Although their new tactics have payed off in battle, the make little progress. Supra will stand loyal to us for very long and will not foil us soon, Yssaria should take notice of that.

Excuse me? Supra just fell to Yssarian forces, and guess what that means? You really do need a scout report, Talless!

Actually I don’t care about the interview, I haven’t read it and I don’t want to. I can’t imagin anything else coming out of his mouth but dum Doughnut jokes and proclamations such as “We will stop this war when Domus is taken, because there is no such place as ‘Home’” His brother was yet another corps, and he himself can’t be anything else than the next.

DUMB DOUGHNUT JOKES!!! You have got to be kidding! Doughnuts are the stuff of heaven, and perhaps if Caligus spent less time fighting... sorry make that LOSING... and more time eating doughnuts they would not be stuck with Yssarian forces outside their front gate. Also, Eleran made it abundantly clear that it was not just Domus that should be taken, but almost all Caligan regions.

Itorunt is ór the leader behind this southern resistance ór another puppet. I believe they are the second, they dance in Ibladeshians favor, and they smile while doing it. Although I had some reports concerning an authorithy clash between Doomgiver and an Itoruntian Council Member that clearly show Itorunt is getting sick of this treatment.

Yes, we are the leaders, we fight, we win, we do it with honour. We respect our alliances, and we think for ourselves. Doomgiver is the Haruspex Maximus, not a general, the disagreement was purely one of him overstepping the mark where his authority was concerned. We are no puppet state, we help our allies in their times of peril. A friend in need...

As my units name was, Itorunt Informer My ***, I will not say they are swines, I will not say they ‘make things up’. But they surely give the people what they want to hear, and if needed they’ll adjust the articles to reach that goal.

We do not adjust the articles at all! We write them from scratch! And this is a bit rich being published in a newspaper which ONLY reports their victories. And how long has it been since thei last one of them?

When Yssaria is finished, Sirion will cry when hearing about the day they declared war on us.

Time will tell. Perhaps Yssaria will destroy your pathetic realm and your head will be on the line long before Sirion even needs to look down their noses to contemplate you.

Ibladesh is finished, Itorunt is the Great Savior, well they’re just buying time for those up north. Perdan managed to weaken the walls of Ibladesh City from a lvl 5 or 4 to only a 2, and now Ubent thought it was time to engage in full strenght. Ibladesh is finished, the best thing Perdan could do now is destroy the army of Ibladesh, ruin the regions, move to the North and let Ubent handle the TOs.

What makes Ibladesh so different from Caligus? The have enemy troops 1 region away from their capital as well, but they have the richest capital on the whole Island, and reliable Allied support. Ubent? Don't make me laugh! We recently felled a hero of theirs in battle, and I seem to remember Perdan losing a noble by the name of Sir Lion? We simultaneously helped take a region of Ubents and a region of Perdan's. We smashed over half their army. So yes, Perdan, run too the north, I still remember when we marched all the way up to the walls of Aix to rout their forces.Ibladesh city has level 3 walls, fool, not level 2.

Itorunt, you are helping your dying master. Sure you can kick me in the chins in your next ‘Issue’, but I’m not going to be reading it, BTW what are you going to say: “Stupid jokes and nonscence”? Well, sorry I brought Eleran into this, I should have known you would want to bring him down.

We took that to heart. We don't publish issues now, we do topics as they come. As you can see, we are having fun ridiculing your stupidity. Remind me to send you a doughniut sometimes.

Predictions?

The fools. Do they seriously expect us to even contemplate being run out of business, when we are supported by ARSE and are even now entering into negotiation for Doughnut assisted sponsorship? We have our own set of predictions:

1. Caligus loses Supra to Yssaria (strictly not a prediction, they were already running a TO)
2. Caligus begs for mercy from Yssaria
3. Talless the Tactical wakes up one morning to realise that half her unit has been mysteriously stabbed/blown up/drugged/recieved diarrhea from drinking laced beer from ARSE to stop the fighting?
4. The Caligan Courier discovers use of the [sic] tag, and finds that they have to stick it all over their topics!
5. The Caligan Courier still cannot spell the word "view"

And on a more peaceful note:

1. Aquire sponsorship from doughnut establishsments
2. Write a report on holidays on the Priotness coast (courtesy of Aurum)

Caligan Courier slagging off our style

The Caligans always think they're so smart don't they? "I'm one of their only viewers", well frankly, it's only been out about, oh 10 minutes? And WE twist their words? We reported exactly what was said, and pointed out the fallacies, which were glaringly obvious, but the Caligans who look at this paper are morons. Some quotes to prove our point: i mean come on, our capital is right next to it! Are you reall that stupid? I though the editors of the Itorunt Informer were just a little smarter than this...

Aside from the absolutely atrocious spelling, if you were so smart then why was Supra taken in the first place? I have seen exactly the same thing happen in Ibladesh with Al Aquabah numerous times.

ive never seen somebody twist the words like they did! Magnificient job!

Did you even look at what Perdan tried to publish when we had our loose TL's hanging around helping Yssaria? We crushed their forces with a bunch of newcomers, and they tried to make out that it was the whole of our army. Of course, this was before they pulled out of the OCPAU.

OH, and under their predictions, somthing about half of my men getting drunk and dissapearing?

Not getting drunk, getting diarrhoea, getting attacked, getting crushed, getting stabbed? And they have something to celebrate?

P.S. Caligan Courier still can't spell view right!

Post Scriptum Report

In collaboration with Folite and the Oligarch Observer the chief editors of the Itorunt Informer have managaed to do all the calculations and find that elves are NOT immortal, they are in fact 3715717198 years... approximately. We had to do a bit of guessing with ages, decimals of halflifes, isotopes, etc. It's not quite immortal... More details at the High Tech Game.