Itorunt Informer/May '06

The Itorunt Informer
Price: Free! Written by the Alex Exiled and Aurum Bishamon (some editing and input by Ichigo).	Bringing you the best of the press from Itorunt!	May Edition

Caligus and Perdan lose, and the general of Caligus is killed!

Huge Battle Fought (3 hours, 8 minutes ago)
Rumours spread and tales are sung about a huge battle in Aestus:
Yssaria vs. Caligus, Perdan
Estimated combat strengths: 8000 CS vs. 9000 CS
The hero Eagles Reach, the High Marshal of Caligus (Caligus) was killed.
Grendel of Caligus (Caligus) was seriously wounded.

Attacker Victory!

We heard about this battle today in Itorunt, and the fall of Caligus' general marks the beginning of the fall of Caligus itself! Perdan reinforcements are being stretched thin, and the front in Ibladesh is expanding. Oligarch is also supposedly recieving reinforcements from Perdan... that is to say, Perdan is simultaneously trying to fight bravely against the forces of Sirion and Fontan, and failing. Today they had their own huge battle, and lost it by attacking a region up north somewhere which was rapidly counterattacked by a force of Fontanese and Sirionite soldiers 2K CS stronger.

So that means that at last count, the HRA is getting their butts kicked, while Ibladesh is recovering, Itorunt is invading Perdan, Yssaria is absolutely destroying Caligan forces, and Fontan and Sirion are attacking Oligarch and Perdan up in the north. Plus, Caligus is reportedly entering into negotiations to sell Akesh Temple to Light of Fountain... while Yssaria is taking every other region around Domus! Such a stupid move is barely comprehensible... apparently it is being done to ensure that Caligus doesn't have a war on two fronts. We have this recommendation to Light of Fountain: forget that! Invade Caligus yourself! Take Akesh Temple and other regions, while Yssaria helps out!

Duel between Ichigo Kurosaki and Thray Walsh

Today a duel to surrender between two Itorunt nobles, Thray and Ichigo, took place in Itorunt City. An epic duel, and a matter of honour; it is believed that Thray made a remark about Ichigo's family. The battle raged for quite some time, which is a remarkable feat, given that Thray had confessed to only recently figuring out that it was the pointy end of the sword that went towards the opponent. While both sides suffered superficial wounds, both were acting aggressively, and eventually Thray was cut down by a deep blow.

Now, such a strong success from a young TL such as Ichigo is unusual, and there is much speculation as to what kind of creature Ichigo truly is. The most popular view, however, was made by this editor, and Ichigo has since admitted to the accusation: And here I thought that Thray had mastered the art of not stabbing himself? Or is Ichigo actually a fell swordsman out of the pits of hell? I quiver in fear at the very thought...

Alex (Knight of Ejarr Puutl)

That I am.

Ichigo (Knight of Zamor)

In a statement from Thray's personal trainer, the one who taught him which end of the sword was which, Kalin, gave a statement:

"Indeed Alex, I was the one that showed him that art of stabbing with the pointy end of a sword. However, like myself, we know very little of how to defend against someone also trying to stab you back, also using the pointy end."

We at the Itorunt Informer hope for Thray's speedy recovery, and wish him better luck in future duels.

Ichigo confirms that a lewd remark was made about his family, and also prays for the speedy recovery of Thray. He assures that there will be no hard feelings between the two as long as his family's name is not maligned.

Our scribes are slacking off!

It is true! The scribes of the world are considering going against the High Tech Game and resorting to sending messages slowly and labouriously! Vote against this today, at the Instantaneous Message Petition! Keep oppressing the scribes!

Lies from the OCPAU

This shall be short and to the point. The Oligarchian Observer and the Caligan Courier have both spread lies about our statistics. They claim they beat us. They claim they took into consideration our two special issues. That is a lie. If they had correctly added the numbers, they would see we got more than 1,100 views for April while they only got 1,000 each.