Sandbox/AprilFI
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| Price: 15 silver | Editors: Reilwin Merytis, Rathkanouros Kalantis | Date of Issue: April 2007 |
Editor's note: While other papers may employ sorcery and witchcraft to instantaneous transport their news across the continent, the Falasan Inquirer refuses to stoop to such a level and contents itself with simple carts and wagons. As such, do not be surprised if you encounter new articles that are released at an older date than is current.
 Wassup, Elmston
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| April 2nd, 2007
A month ago, Estonite marshal Artemis Entreri declared the "wabbit season!" This is indeed how the war went:
Despite unprecedented treachery, using an attack without declaration of war, spies, secessionists, and, indeed, everything but the proverbial chamber pot (although general Basil's mouth has come pretty close in recent days, see page 7 for details), Eston has resoundingly failed to get the wabbit. Wassup, Elmston? |
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--Monna Y. |
| Eston general insults Carelia's King
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April 2nd, 2007 We have just received this message from our correspondent in Belegmon: Roleplay from Kronos Message sent to everyone in the region Belegmon Letter from Basil Message sent to: Armitage III, Dielo, Kronos Kronos, You are a liar and a fool. Eston will now almost certainly have to accept federation with the Cagilan Empire and Talerium. That Federation will not be in your best interest. Of that I am certain. Sir Basil High Marshal of Eston, Duke of Massillion As from now on,i consider your General,not only an ignorant concerning tactical approaches but also a coward... I leave it up to you to deliver the following message. Carelia gave a battle with total respect towards its enemies here. We've requested from Eston to do the same. Your King,people of Eston, is a man with honor and full understanding. However,on the contrary,your General is a coward and disrespectfull towards a Leader of another realm. |
Dont even ask about his reasoning and his diplomacy. I challenge this man,if i can call him like that,to come and tell such words in front of my face.As this will give me the chance and the pleasure to shut his big mouth once and for all with my axe Halyvas. I may be old,but still,boys like him i certainly know how to handle. Whatever happens,do not take it as a personal attack towards the people of Eston.I am sad to see you being leaded by a man of such disrespect. While i never insulted him,he ve insulted me twice.I ve put aside his insults the first time,now i am asking him to come and prove his ... bravery. To come and solve with me this issue once and for all...as a man towards another man. I know that Estonians have courage,so if their General doesnt know what "man" means,i am politely requesting from you to explain him. With respect, Sir Kronos King of Carelia, Marshal of the Royal Guard |
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| Commentaries
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| Battle in Belegmon
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March 31st, 2007 A joint attack by Carelia and Falasan occurred in Belegmon yesterday, defeating the Estonite and Taran troops gathered there. |
Twas a victory turned bittersweet, with the fall of Raven, the Royal Treasurer of Carelia, just as Carelian and Falasani warriors were preparing to assault the walls. |
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| The Fall of a Hero
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March 31st, 2007 Having been sent ahead to view the assault for the Falasan Inquirer, it was my pleasure to be part of a resounding victory in Belegmon, and my sorrow to witness the fall of a hero of the likes of Raven. Ever bold, he marched ahead, taunting those gathered at the walls. They were such the captain of a mere militia troop, was brash enough to challenge him, sortieing out from the shadows of the palisade. Although treachery occurred, as is only to be expected in battles involvin Eston, with a swarm of arrows darkening the skies and wounding Raven before the challengers could meet, his sword arm was not affected, and he pressed on despite his injuries, slaying not only the puny militia captain reckless enough to defy him, but all that captain's 'warriors' as well. At this point, Galin and Solton of Tara finally gathered up their courage (quite simple, when the target of their fury had already been wounded and exhausted from the previous trials) and exited the safety of Belegmon's walls, attacking Raven both at once. |
In spite of their onslaught, he persevered, giving back as good as he got. Alas, the arrow which struck him must have been poisoned, or the footing uncertain, for in the end he was overcome. At the sight of Raven's fall, his own men, and all of the surrounding friendly troops were so enraged that Solton and Galin's retinues were slaughted to the man. It is unknown how Galin and Solton escaped such a massacre, but escape they did. Even though their leader had been slain, Raven's men were a tribute to his courage and tenacity, pressing forward to lead in the assault against the walls, clearing the way for many other soldiers, but unfortunately they did not live to see the fruit of their deeds, falling soon after to Estonite and Taran blades. The Second Battle of Belegmon occurred in the death of a great hero, and the world shall mourn his fall. May his exploits never fade. |
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| Dreams of Menedor
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March 30th, 2007 As I gaze from the walls of Menedor out across the river I can see the smoke rising from the enemy's encampment in Amdor. It has grown thicker these last days as Eston and their mercenary parasites, Darka, gather. The attention of these Realms is now focused on the bridge linking Menedor and Amdor as two great armies face each other. Menedor, gateway to the eastern regions of the Realm, is proud to host the armies of Falasan and our allies from the Ash Sea Islands. Food is in short supply and taxes are high but the population don't complain.....no more than usual anyway! The fortifications are repaired and adorned with a fine array of Darkan skulls which serve to remind the enemy of their fate. How will they know they are Darkan? Well the eyes are set very close together so they cannot see past their purses, the mouth is wide as in a permanent grin so there is room for two tongues and the back is scored with wound marks received as they ran from previous enemies. |
Morale is high and loyalty is unquestioned. Our victory will be complete and sung of for thousands of years....something like.....
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