Arcaea/Dining Hall/What you always wanted to know, but were too afraid to ask, about women
After stalking through the corridors for some time in complete silence, Jenred reached his private sitting room, and detailed his men to stand guard at the door and to admit no one, not even Edara.
He walked forward, found his favourite chair, and sat with an escaping sigh.
"Goffrey...At this rate we're not going to have a Baron of Sasat. If your father doesn't kill you during one of your near-suicidal attempts to handle him yourself, Harmony will kill you. And, for the love of all the gods I wouldn't have expected you to make a comment that poorly thought through."
Goffrey opened his mouth, and Jenred just stared. After a long moment, Goffrey closed his mouth again, looking even more miserable. Jenred sighed again.
"Goffrey...I'm trying to do what I can to help you. I gave you a few tips on how to deal with Harmony, but, through no fault of your own it didn't work out because she's not interested in what you wanted from her. I just..."
Jenred blinked.
"Hm. That might work...I fail to see how it can hurt the situation, any...Goffrey, follow me. We are going to head out of the castle and I am going to show you how to handle a woman. I'm not an expert, but I managed well enough, and I'll show you a few things I picked up, alright?"
Jenred hoped that Goffrey would pick up a girl of his own before the night was out, and bed her too. Hm...He might have to give him tips on that too...Maybe a courtesan for that, she'd be able to help him and would understand Jenred sticking around to ease Goffrey into it...
Sir Jenred Bedwyr Imperial Magistrate of Arcaea
Goffrey nodded his acknowledgment and fallowed Jenred out of the room, partially out of curiosity, and partially out of desperation. Goffrey had thought a lot over what Harmony had told him when he had declared his love for her in frenzied moment of passion, and he had been planning on talking to her about it when he next saw her.
But of course, fate had seen fit to 'bless' him with the inability to think before opening his own damnable mouth. Goffrey sighed heavily as the growing hopelessness regarding his relationship with Harmony weighed heavily on his soul. He wanted her desperately to love her, and he felt that he did. Goffrey had always thought that love was supposed to be a simple thing, but the last few months had nearly destroyed that idea of his.
He broke temporarily from his musing to notice that they had left the castle in their wake long ago heading for a section of the city Goffrey had never seen before. Suspicion settled into the pit of Goffrey's stomache like a lead weight, and a sense of being lead to an unavoidable doom filled him. "Um, Jenred," said Goffrey in a cautious yet curious tone, "Where exactly are we going?"
Goffrey Massey Baron of Sasat
Jenred sighed again, but kept his eyes searching while he explained to Goffrey, again, what his plan was.
"Goffrey, I'm going to demonstrate a few things for you. Talking to women, chatting them up, etc. Beyond that, we'll have to see how things go...Ah, here we go, now just stay here and pretend to look at that shop while you watch and listen, hm?"
Jenred had spotted a likely girl, seventeen or eighteen at a guess, minor country noble. Probably the daughter of a steward or castellan off to buy a new dress...She had a couple of house retainers, but they were sufficiently overawed (or perhaps calculating enough to realize that the interest of such a high-ranking noble might be useful) to not hinder his approach. Jenred smiled as the girl turned, and he bowed deeply.
"Good evening, my lady! Perhaps I could trouble you for a moment of your time? I have a small problem, you see, I need some help choosing a gift for a cousin of mine, about your age. I wanted to get her a new gown, but I just have no idea what she might like or look good in. Could you assist me, fair lady?"
The girl, taken aback at the Imperial Magistrate asking her for help, was momentarily speechless, but managed a quick nod. Jenred's smile grew, and he offered his arm, gesturing toward a nearby storefront. It took a while to get through her shyness, but with a couple of suitably "confused pleading male" leading questions, he got her talking about different styles and colours, and it was time for the next move...He sighed again, almost despairingly.
"I just have no head for this...Could you, perhaps...Model a few of them for me? I just can't imagine what they'd look like on her. I'd be happy to purchase one for you, of course, for your time and troubles dealing with a bothersome man such as myself."
He smiled hopefully, and...Yes, she agreed, and whether it was desire to help, curry favour, the offer of a dress, or a combination of the above, he didn't know, and he didn't care. All of those factors would work for Goffrey as well.
He'd have to purchase one of the dresses to keep up the pretense, of course, but the girl almost looked like a younger version of Edara anyway. Not nearly as beautiful, of course, but no one was. Wouldn't she be surprised! Helping out Goffrey and getting her a new dress at the same time...
Sir Jenred Bedwyr Imperial Magistrate of Arcaea
Goffrey stood in front of the store window, not so subtly watching and listening to what Jenred was doing with the young girl. At first, he was slightly confused as to why Jenred was buying his cousin a present at a time like this. It eventually it dawned on him, that Jenred was lying to the girl before him to caox her into talking to him.
'So the secret to talking to women is to lie shamelessly?' thought Goffrey in a confused inner voice.
He scratched his head and continued to watch and listen to Jenred, sure that he was missing something important.
Goffrey Massey Baron of Sasat
Jenred hoped Goffrey was paying attention...Hm...You know...This one was pretty enough...Looked nice enough...But she was getting a little too...Ah...Well, he was pretty sure she wasn't supposed to be leaving her hand on his leg like that in-between trying on dresses. Oh well, it was part of what Goffrey was supposed to be learning. He could at least see it was working.
After purchasing one of the dresses for the girl, and one to bring to Edara later, a nice forest-green with a leafy motif, he extricated himself from the situation, bowing and mouthing polite nothings.
He waited until they strode some ways off before speaking to Goffrey.
"So, what did you learn?"
Sir Jenred Bedwyr Imperial Magistrate of Arcaea
Goffrey paused and looked thoughtful for a minute as he consider just what he had learned from all of this. After a few moments consideration he gave dejected sigh and came to the only conclusion he could draw.
"....that its ok to lie shamelessly to women so long as you get what you want?" said Goffrey in a dejected voice, not at all happy with the prospect that knowledge lead to.
A thought accrued to Goffrey at this point that raised a question he felt he had to ask.
"Hey Jenred, if your buying your cousin a dress, why not just have Edara help you out?"
Goffrey Massey Baron of Sasat
Jenred sighed. He should have thought of this...
"Okay, Goffrey, I was lying because I already have Edara. So, the whole pick-up attempt was a lie. Lying in general is not a good idea, leaving aside moral issues, it always bites you later. And I don't have a cousin I'm getting a dress for, that was just a convenient opening. The idea here is to open with something innocuous, and just start talking. You, for instance, might ask for a lady's opinion of a tale you've been working on. You are very good at tales, and that's an excellent way to start and get her interested. The main key is to just stay calm. Does that make sense?"
Sir Jenred Bedwyr Imperial Magistrate of Arcaea
Goffrey nodded his understanding, a wave of relief coming over him as he realized he was about to be forced to do something so sneaky and underhanded.
"Ok, I understand that much, now what are we going to do?"
Richter Massey Marshal of the Tribute Collecting Army
Goffrey nodded his understanding, a wave of relief coming over him as he realized he was not about to be forced to do something so sneaky and underhanded.
"Ok, I understand that much, now what are we going to do?"
Goffrey Massey Baron of Sasat
Jenred looked at Goffrey, sizing him up.
"That depends...Do you feel ready to try yet?"
Sir Jenred Bedwyr Imperial Magistrate of Arcaea
Goffrey sighed and entered another moment of concentration. This was all new to him, and he was a bit nervous that Jenred's teachings would back fire horribly.
But his determination to make things between him and Harmony work, lit a fire in his eyes that struggled with his fears, and eventually won through.
With a new determination he looked Jenred in the eye and nodded the affirmative.
Goffrey Massey Baron of Sasat
Jenred nodded back, and began searching for another likely suspect...It didn't take long. A young woman, maybe twenty, was doing a poor job of hiding her admiring stares at Goffrey, and that was half the work done already...
"Goffrey, that one over there, the blonde, about a head shorter than you, there you go. Try asking her opinion on one of your tales, one of the romantic heroic tales, and go from there. Just act normally. It should be easier, because you don't have an emotional investment in her, you can just be yourself. I'll be keeping an ear out, and I'll bail you if it goes poorly, not that it will...She's blushing just from you looking at her. Go Goffrey go..."
Jenred smiled, and crossed his fingers behind his back.
Sir Jenred Bedwyr Imperial Magistrate of Arcaea
Goffrey exhaled a deep cleansing breath, and marched for the previously indicated blond woman. He choose a round about path, not wanting to be appear to obvious in his target.
After a few minutes of seemingly meandering about, he strode up to the woman and ignited a conversation.
"Good Evening my lady, I was wondering if I could trouble you for a bit of your time..."
It went rather smoothly from there, no major foul ups, a pleasant conversation all in all. It wasn't until the Lady became a bit more, direct, in her desires, that Goffrey soon ran afoul of a problem. He knew how to strike up a conversation with women, now he had no idea how to get out of it without making an arse out of himself.
He sent a sidelong look at Jenred, asking for a means to escape with his eyes.
Goffrey Massey Baron of Sasat
Jenred watched, happily surprised, as Goffrey managed himself fairly well, and caught the look at the end. He strode in, bowed them out with a word about matters of realmwide importance requiring the attention of the esteemed Baron, and the two strode off.
"Well...That went well, did it not?"
Sir Jenred Bedwyr Imperial Magistrate of Arcaea
Goffrey nodded his consensus, "Well enough I suppose."
With that little ordeal out of the way, Goffrey felt he was one step closer to his goal. But while that experience had been innocent enough, he wondered just how far he would have to go under Jenred's tutelage.
"Alright, whats next then," he asked in a cautious voice.
Goffrey Massey Baron of Sasat
"Well, next, we need to work on your exit strategy if it doesn't go well...Fortunately, you can always claim the demands of rank and duty. Something along the lines of 'Oh, by the Aenil, look at the time, I have a meeting with the Imperial Magistrate' if all else fails. But, if it doesn't go particularly badly, then just a little something with a charming smile, the touch of a hand, and a 'I'd love to talk to you later, perhaps at dinner? Soon?'"
Jenred waited to see Goffrey's response before continuing.
Sir Jenred Bedwyr Imperial Magistrate of Arcaea
Goffrey nodded, absorbing the basics of how to disengage from a conversation with women. He felt he was getting the basics down well enough, and provided all went well, he could talk to Harmony with out making an ass out of himself in no time.
The thought of Harmony brought a question to the front of his mind, and he felt he needed to ask it.
"Ok, so now I know how to talk to random women one finds one the streets," he said plainly, a desperate curiosity underlining his words "How do I talk to women I'm in love with, but doesn't consider me anything more then a friend?"
Goffrey Massey Baron of Sasat
Jenred sighed deeply.
"Goffrey...At this point...I don't think there's any chance with Harmony. Even if you could talk to her without shoving your whole leg and half your torso in your mouth. But if you are still stuck on that...We have a long way to go. Teaching you that, if possible, will take weeks...Are you sure you want to try?"
Sir Jenred Bedwyr Imperial Magistrate of Arcaea
Goffrey stared at the ground in quiet concentration, noting Jenred words like a stab through the heart with a blade made of despair. It was supposed to be easy, but he was learning that it was anything but.
Goffrey was in no way underplaying what exactly Jenred was saying he would have to do. He had to question himself, he had to be absolutely sure that he was willing to put everything he had on the line.
Then again....there really wasn't that much to question.....
"Whatever it takes," said Goffrey with a determined finality.
Goffrey Massey Baron of Sasat
Jenred searched Goffrey's eyes, and nodded slowly.
"Very well. First step, then, is to get it so you can talk to other pretty women in all circumstances without losing your tongue. The theory is that if you can talk to someone else under extreme circumstances, you can talk with her under ordinary circumstances."
Jenred stood and thought for a moment...
"Hmm...There's a place...I heard of it during my travels...Never had the interest or cash to burn before becoming a noble, and, well, then there was Edara..."
Jenred drifted off for a moment, smiling...Before shaking his head and bringing himself back.
"In any case, it would work well for our purposes. They don't have any shame, assuming your purse is deep enough, and that would be perfect for getting you to learn how to talk under extreme circumstances...Yes. We'll start easy, just chatting with a beautiful woman. Then, chatting with a beautiful woman not wearing much, then...Well, we'll get there eventually."
Jenred set off toward the street. He didn't remember exactly where it was, but he figured someone would be able to direct them to it, as he remembered the name of the establishment...And places like that kept themselves around during the most brutal of wars. Captains and nobles always needed certain things, after all...
Sir Jenred Bedwyr Imperial Magistrate of Arcaea
Goffrey nodded his understanding, projecting an outward expression of calm resolution. On the inside however, Goffrey was a nervous wreck, and his mind kept turning over the implications of Jenred's words, while at the same time imagining every thing that could, and probably would, go wrong.
'Oh gods, this will not end well,' he thought with resignation.
Nevertheless he straighten himself out and marched forward to what he was certain would be his doom, audibly gulping down his fears.
'Whatever it takes...,' he repeated to himself, a silent mantra to ward off the uncertainty clawing at his mind.
Goffrey Massey Baron of Sasat
Jenred nodded absently, before finding, to his happy surprise, one of Edara's soldiers hanging out in what must be his off time, as he was talking and laughing with some of the townsfolk, although he still had his livery on.
"Ah, just who I needed...Tell me, can you direct me to the House of Silk and Light?"
The soldier, startled by this address, gulped visibly at this question.
"Ah...milord...Yes, but, ah...well..."
Jenred grinned and winked.
"No worries, I'm not going to shut it down or anything. Just want to visit with the Baron here."
The soldier paled, and opened his mouth...But before he could speak one of his companions gave the two lords the directions they needed. Jenred bowed, thanking them, and with a flourish of his cloak strode down the street. As they turned the corner, the soldier made off at high speed back to the castle. He had to tell the Duchess that her husband-to-be was...!
Sir Jenred Bedwyr Imperial Magistrate of Arcaea
Continued in The House of Silk and Light
