The Oligarchian Observer/Edition:8

http://wiki.battlemaster.org/images/Oligarchcrestnew.jpg The Oligarchian Observer
Cost: Free, unless, of course, you are Sirionite, Fontanese, or Old Rancaguan	Supreme Master of the Newspaper: Hireshmont, 523 Shiverwoodian Squirrelsspace	Volume: 7
The only newspaper that can laugh at itself!

• THE newspaper for the truth about events on the Oligosirionifontanagua Front of the Great War!
• Disclaimer: This paper DOES NOT represent the official opinions of the Oligarchian government, merely a general accounting for the public.
• Whenever we say, "Facts", what we mean is the explaination which best fits the evidence of action, not words.

Victory in Kazakh!

April 1, 2006- Our isolated and cut-off forces in the Kazakh Peninsula, udner the leadership of Lalakis, swept forth from Kazan, which seceeded and joined Kalmar(and the Kalmarians have this strange notion that they should return it to old Rancagua, when it was OURS. We paid good money for that region, and shed no small amount of blood over it!), and assaulted Kazakh. A decisive victory resulted, once again proving how effective even our small forces are, numbering at just a few thousand CS. HAIL OLIGARCH!

The PAIN!

April 1, 2006- Apparently, some deluded Itoruntian thinks he is good at poetry! ICK! Avamarians write songs and poems, not Itoruntians! Itorunt is a choppy, ugly name! Here's the poem:

Itorunt, Itorunt How beloved you are, You spread peace and riches throughout the world like perfume that wafts through the air Unlike our enemies, whose odor pollutes the world people, animals, crops, nature itself is polluted by the stench of war and brutality

Yet there are enemies who would wish to end this, for they wish to live in a brutal world of war, rape, pillaging, mistrust, and poverty.

Our way is better oh Itorunt, Itorunt, wanter of a merciful world, spreader of peace, riches, family, trust and hospitality

Gopherman, what a great leader he was The epitomization of what Itorunt stands for For he brought peaceful relationshions to a wartorn land If only his successors could share his beliefs of peace Gopherman, may your days be long

I'm sorry, I cant help but laugh. No rhyme, no pace, no rythm, not even done in verse form! Gosh, is there NOT A SINGLE SANE-MINDED AND EDUCATED PERSON IN ITORUNT?

On that note, I'm gonna go find an Avamarian to write a real poem... where's Paris when you need him! Oh, oops, he's dead. We'll have to get Itorunt back for that one...

Elections, elections, elections!

April 1, 2006- Well, a few surprises, a few that arent! The Prime Minister race was pretty closely contested between Sakima and Lysander, with Sakima coming out narrowly on top! Congradulations Prime Minister Sakima! You led us through the time after the Velvet Rebellion, we trust you again! The Judge electionwasnt quite as close, with Elaira getting 29% and Paul getting 19%, and Justin 12%. Congradulations Elaira, it seems your family has become a dynasty in the GJ position....

Oh thats just dirty

March 31, 2006- Oh now this isnt even FUNNY. The Itorunt Informer is writing articles about the regions in Itorunt. Well, if you're gonna do that, I'LL DO PSYCHOANALYSIS AND PERSONALITY PROFILES OF ALL THE TLS IN OLIGARCH! We have more TLs than you have regions! HAVE AT YE, THOU FOUL ITORUNTIANS!

Welcome, welcome, welcome!

March 31, 2006- So, this one will run until the end of April for a fair, balanced, and equal-time frame measurement of the Itorunt Informer as compared to the OO, CC, or OCPAU in general. So, here we are, COMING AT YOU!! By the way, we recently added 523 squirrels imported from Shiverwood Forest in Norland to be on our editing and security staff.