The Drunken Misadventures of Arianne and Rekhyt

(Note: This is a roleplay done by two members of Greater Aenilia)

Arianne pursed her lips. As she read her routemaster's note.

We are currently between Erahol (Rural, Greater Aenilia) and Anrimap (Rural, Svunnetland). We should arrive there in about 9 hours.

Rekhyt glanced at the letter from his brother again.

Letter from Syaoran Eldest Brother, I hope that your career is finding you well, and that you are faring well after the incident you wrote to me about in the Anfrosa Commonfaith. I figured that since you are settled in in your new estate, I would send you a late housewarming gift for you to enjoy. I know that you aren't as tolerant as Kuro and I, but you should enjoy it just the same. You may pick it up at the Aenil's Gift tavern on the coast of Erahol.

Much love, Syaoran Ryû, Noble

P.S. - Kuro sends his love and wishes you well.

Rekhyt looked up at the silvery sign hanging above the tavern door. This seemed to be the place.

Opening the door, he walked into the common room and glanced around. There were a few men sitting around the scattered tables, and a familiar back at the bar. "Arianne! I'm surprised to see you here! You didn't get lost, then?" I glanced at the report in her hand and waved over the bartender. "You have something for me? I'm Rekhyt." The bartender bowed and gestured a few men into the back. "Your kegs shall be put with your horse, sir. Did you want anything else?" he asked, struggling to keep his language clean. "Actually, I think I would want to open one of those kegs. How many are there, and what are they marked as?" I asked, glancing at the door the men had disappeared through. The bartender wiped his brow nervously. "Um...there are a dozen of them, my Lord...they say they're Sullenport Stout, one of the strongest ales from Atamara."

Arianne lit up. "Rekhyt!" she chimed, waving a bottle of scotch at the bureaucrat. "How've you been? Going to Anrimap with us? I sure do hope so, I'm bored out of my mind as it is!"

"Yes my lord, please say you're coming with us," Arianne's captain begged, a little woefully. "It's been a task trying to steer my lady into the right direction! She keeps heading towards Svunnetland, muttering about cowards!"

"Aw, shaddup, we need a little excitement every now and then," Arianne muttered, peering over Rekhyt's shoulder when she heard the word "Sullenport Stout". "Hey, someone from your family sent you Sullenport Stout? C'mon, let's have a go at it, it's been ages since I last had it~! Besides, we're all a little early - it'll be a bother if we're the first ones to arrive in Anrimap."

Arianne's men groaned, and braced themselves. "Oh no! Not Sullenport Stout! Lord Rekhyt! Don't give her that!"

The bartender gave the men a baffled look as he handed over a mug to the lady knight. "Here you go, milady."

Oh no! Too late!

With a maniacal grin, the white-haired knight grasped the handle of the mug and drunk deeply. Her men braced themselves, muttering Aenil, help us!

Arianne slammed the mug on the bar, empty. "Bartender, one more!"

Rekhyt glanced at Arianne, the at the bartender. He nodded. "Keep them coming, I mean, I've got a dozen kegs of the stuff, and I'm not a heavy drinker, so let's put it to good use! I thought you said this stuff was strong..." He glanced into his full mug. Taking a small sip, he almost choked. Staring at Arianne in amazement, he looked at second mug being placed in front of her.

"HOW did you do that?! This is....this is....I can't even describe how strong this is!" grinning slightly, he spun on the stool to face the rest of Arianne's men. "Anyone else want any?" He drank deeply and then coughed violently. "I warn you, it's strong! But it seems you've heard of it before..." He glanced at Arianne again.

Arianne grinned at Rekhyt. "Aw, my family's from Atamara continent, and we used to have them during special occasions. You should see my uncle have at it!" She held up the mug for the bartender to refill. "I came from a family of blacksmiths, and it's unacceptable if I can't hold my liquor.."

She drank deeply from the mug, sighed at the taste of it. "Ah, nothing like Sullenport Stout!" She cackled, spun around to face her men too. "Men, have some of it!"

"We'd really rather not, milady!"

"Er, what?"

The men shifted uneasily. "Actually, we're fine with whiskey, milady! More for you that way!"

"By Aenil, you're right!" Arianne cackled, emptied her mug, held out for more. "One more, bartender!"

The bartender blinked, but did what she bade anyway. As he did, Arianne peered at Rekhyt, who was slipping slowly. "Hey, that's not the way! Drink it straight up!"

And with that sage advice, Arianne grabbed hold of the bottom of Rekhyt's mug and tipped it up, forcing the bureaucrat to drink it up as she ordered.

Rekhyt's eyes watered and he choked as Arianne held the mug up, cackling. "Straight up, I say!"

Rekhyt swooned a little on his stool as Arianne's hand eased up on the bottom of the empty mug. Coughing so hard it felt like his lungs would come out his throat, Rekhyt slammed the mug down and glared at the bartender. "More. Now."

After the mug was filled again, Rekhyt, stumbling only once, somehow got over to the fire. "Ishn't there anyone," he slurred, "that knowsh how to play an inshterment here? We need shome mushic!" He struggled to raise the mug to his mouth.

"That's the way!" Arianne toasted the swaying Rekhyt, then swinging back to down her third mug. "Another mug, bartender!"

The knight lit up when she heard the word 'music'. "Hey, I can sing!"

"No, my lady! Err, I mean, there's already music!!" The captain hastily amended when the knight sent him a red-eyed glare. "Uh, ah, I'll play the piano!!"

Vacating his seat, the captain hobbled towards the piano. Soon enough, horrible playing sounded in the air. The remaining men groaned and repeatedly banged their heads on the table. Why, Aenil, why? Have you forsaken us?

"Hey, Rekhyt, c'me over here and get another mug!" Arianne brandished another mug full of liquor. She peered over the bar. "Hey, we need another keg! This one's finished! Only 11 more kegs to go!"

Rekhyt roared raucously as the captain's terrible tones filled the air.

"I didn't know you had shuch a funny cap'n, Ari'ne! Tryin ta play pianoh...." He successfully took another swallow of his Stout. "You!" He pointed at the two knights that said they could sing (it was really only one) and almost lost his balance, "get on up on the table, shing it out, man! Le'sh hear shome toons!"

He moved back to the bar (stumbling twice) and pulled Arianne away from her stool. "Come on, le'sh get thish partah shtarted!"

Arianne laughed boisterously as Rekhyt tried to swing her around the room (and failing miserably.) "Rekhyt, I didn't know you get drunk so easily!"

She waved at the blinking bartender. "Keep 'em comin'! We need to teach this paper pusher how to hold his liquor!"

"A-aye, m-milady!" The bartender nervously bobbed his head, and reached a trembling hand for the keg. "Psst - it's been a keg and your mistress isn't drunk yet - what is she, a Liquor Monster?"

"You don't want to see her drunk, mister." Arianne's captain whispered back, pounding away at the piano keys. "...Take my word at this, you don't want to see her drunk."

"ANOTHER ROUND!"

Arianne's men groaned, and started murmuring prayers to the Aenil.

A few kegs later (but only a mug for Rekhyt)

Somehow, the townsfolk had heard the horrible noise coming from the tavern and had joined in. Several of them played instruments (one of them had gotten the captain off of the piano, to everyone's relief) and mugs of ale were in every hand. The now crowded tavern was lively, with little snatches of three different versions of the same song being sung to the tune. Rekhyt leaned against his scribe's shoulder, trying to keep his balance and drink the second half of his mug of Stout. A fifth keg pumped out more Stout to be sent to Arianne....except for the minor issue of getting it to her...

"You there! Another mug!!" Arianne waved a disoriented mug in the air, giggling. "ANOTHER MUG, I SAY!"

The captain was reduced to tears as he watched his mistress sway where she stood, a happy glaze in her eyes. Already, her cloak was off, and a flush shone brightly on her fair skin. "Why, Aenil, why hast thou forsaken me??"

A mug flew into the air and crashed into the blubbering captain, rendering him unconscious. "Aw, pssh, you're too much of a prude!!"

Swaying towards her unconscious captain, Arianne knelt, snatched a mug off an unsuspecting commoner, pinched her captain's nose, and pitched the contents of the mug straight into the poor man's mouth. "Straight up! Be a man!"

The captain jerked upward, eyes (and throat) on fire. "HOLY AENIL! SOMEBODY GIMME WATER! I'M DYING!"

And as soon as he shouted those words, he lost consciousness and fell face first into the floor. The tavern roared with laughter.

Arianne cheered, and then stood up, swaying as she spied Rekhyt. "Hey, Rekhyt! -hic- What're you standing there for!" She swayed towards the man. "C'mon, let's dance s'more! We need to teach you how to dance properly, hic!"

The people roared with approval as Arianne tugged the poor man, and swung him around the room, accidentally hitting a few commoners with her mug, and sloshing some others with the stout. "C'mon, shake those hips, Rekhyt!"

Losing patience, the lady knight downed her liquor, slammed the mug into a nearby table (narrowly missing an unconscious commoner's face), clambered up a table, and hauled Rekhyt up with her. "Here, let's dance here!!"

The white-haired knight threw off her gauntlets (this time hitting the bartender) and started dancing drunkenly, swinging Rekhyt left and right like a puppet.

"Wheeee! Hey, Rekhyt hic, since when did you get the ability to multiply? hic" Arianne giggled. "I'm dancing with two Rekhyts! This is fun! BARTENDER, ANOTHER ROUND!"

Rekhyt barely registered what Arianne was saying. "Two of me? Well, tatsh good, but I shtill need tree more for all the you'sh....." He stumbled awkwardly along as Arianne pulled him around the common room.

He fell onto a barstool next to Arianne and finished his fourth mug of ale. "You know, Ari'ne...I ha'n't had thish muck fun shinsh....evah. We shhhoul' 'o tis moor of'en. You's a goo' frien'...a pretty la'y ya are...a pretty-"

Rekhyt slumped over the bar, unconscious.

"Of course there's two of you -"Arianne blinked, and turned to see Rekhyt slumped over the table. "Aw, the poor man is out!Ain't he cute!"

Rekhyt started snoring. The tavern roared with laughter, Arianne's tinkling tones joining in. Sobered (somewhat), the lady knight waved her empty mug at the people. "Well, that's all for today! -hic- Many thanks for joining in~!" she chimed, then waved vaguely at Rekhyt's scribe. "You there, pick up your sire and move him into a room!"

Then she waved vaguely to one of her men. "Pick up the last six kegs and put them on cart!" Turning, she spied her unconscious captain. "OOps." Sliding off (drunken swaying notably lessened) her chair, Arianne knelt and slung the unconscious man over her shoulder. "Heave ho!"

"...she's a monster," one of the men whispered. "No, worse, she's a liquor-toting monster, and she's our mistress!"

"What was that?!"

The men snickered. "Nothing, milady! We shall do as you ordered!"

A little while later, the commoners filed out of the tavern, each talking about the insane woman named Arianne and the awesome booty- err, hip-shaking of Lord Rekhyt, the only bureaucrat in Great Aenilia.

Who apparently cannot hold his liquor and snores in his sleep.

~Fin