Old Rancagua Press December Edition
 Old Rancagua Press
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| Price: If you have to ask... | Editor: Antan Christenson | The Month of December, Being the Third Week |
| Press Location: In Oroya | ||
| War with Fontan | |
| Indeed, the rumors are true. There has been a full scale war declared with Fontan. Our long time friends have become bitter enemies, locked in a deadly struggle for land and honor. It is truly a sad turn of events from our long, peaceful existence by eachother's borders. However, there has been a recnt upsurge of warmongering across the continent. Rebellions, insurrections, defenestrations, aggravations, and excretions have been reported across the continent. That last bit is right out, I deny saying any of that.
The fighting has mainly taken place along the southern marches of Old Rancagua. Heavy fighting in Commonyr and Westmoor have been witnessed by the masses. Sirion has also joined the fray upon the side of Old Rancgua, coming alongside their federation brethren. Fontan has time and again proved their military might, quickly rebutted by the combined forces in swift counterattacks. The fighting, fierce to a degree unseen since the Oligarchian debacle, has ravaged the countryside. One must surely check in to see how the war progresses in the coming weeks and months. |
| The Press is Working |
| Indeed, the very fact that you are reading this proves that the press is indeed working once more. We are hoping to bring back all the information, gossip, and urge to drink yourself unconcious that you haven't gotten from reading the paper in such a long time. |
| Meet an Oldie (were working on that) |
| In the coming issue, we will have a brief interview with a member of the Old Rancaguan feudal order. This may be as high ranking as the King if we can contact him, or as simple as the baker who makes me pies in the morning. These pies, apple of course, are simply a remarkable pastry. They have filling, apple of course, bursting forth from the thin, flaky dough that seems so buttery in your mouth. When you...well, we will have a quote from someone. |
| Master Tonan Executed? |
| Reports coming to us from escaping or released Fontanese prisoners are confirming the death of Tonan Unitea. It is truly a deplorable action, one which, if I may, ask for a moment of silence. To have a noble stuck like a swine is surely no means for an honorable and upstanding man to die. He was a longtime member of the realm, always willing to serve his country. Yet he simply lies now in our hearts and in the dust, though his spirit sallies onwards. |
| The Befuddler |
| A classic part of any Old Rancaguan press is the puzzle for the readers to enjoy in. This can be logical, not, a puzzle, or in this week's case, a riddle. If you know the answer, send your copy of the newspaper back for reprinting and rewards to:
North Side Livestock Desecration 509 West Rundover Bicow Oroya, Old Rancagua And here it is: "Oft must I with wave strive and with wind fight, together against them contend, when I depart seeking wave-covered earth; foreign is land to me, I am strong for that strife if I become still; if I fail of that, they are stronger than I wish to carry away the thing I protect. I withstand that if my tail holds out and stout stones can hold me fast against them. Guess what I'm called." |
