Muninn Newsrag/November 2010
 MUNINN NEWSRAG
| ||
| Lead Editor: Davendrall (User:X-anne-x) Editor, Agony Aunt and Official Spell-checker: Anneliese (User:Audacity) |
Cost: 3 cookies | October 2010 |
|---|---|---|
November's Paper
Ask Anne the Agony Aunt |
|---|
| ______________________________________ |
| • Aunt Anne, there is a nice boy that is interested in me, but I'm not interested in him. How do I let him down easy? -Caroline |
| • Dear Caroline,
Beat him with a stick. - Anneliese |
| ______________________________________ |
| • Dear Aunt Anne, my father wants me to become a soldier but I just want to tend the family farm. What do I do? How can I convince him that I'm not fit for combat? -Anonymous |
| • Dear Anonymous,
HIT HIM WITH A STICK! - Anneliese |
| ______________________________________ |
| • Dear Aunt Anne, I am a sculptor and potter. I have a problem with my latest project - I can't decide which color of glaze to use. It's very important that I get this right, as I'm doing this at the request of a noblewoman and I don't want to risk losing her patronage. I know she likes both red and brown, but I don't know if they go well together. Do you think it would work if I tried it anyway? - Anonymous |
| • Dear Anonymous,
STICK. - Anneliese |
| ______________________________________ |
| Advertisement |
|
|
| Enemy troops gather in Anost | Saturday 27th November | ||
| Enemy troops from Coria, Cal... ah Hel, why bother to list them all? Let's just say everyone at war with us, except Hammarsett, is gathered in Anost. Fortifications have been destroyed, and word from the local civil servants is that someone is attempting a takeover.
On the bright side, our battle against a single Talerium troop went well. | |||
| Editor: Anneliese | |||
| Darkan man wanted for harassing noblewomen | Monday 24th November | ||
| A Darkan man known as Peregrin Artemesia has been sending rude, threatening letters to Estonian noblewomen. In particular, he has been trying to extort cookies from our head editor, Davendrall Felhand, and threatening to kiss her if she does not comply.
Women are advised to stay away from this menace and carry large sticks and/or swords for self-defense. Peregrin is an average-looking knight with distinctly nondescript features. If you spot this man or anyone that looks the least bit like him, please beat him over the head with a stick until he goes away. | |||
| Editor: Anneliese | |||
| Update on the war | Monday 24th November | ||
| Coria, Hammarsett, Tara and the Caligan Empire have predictably declared war on Eston. Nazamroth was taken by Coria briefly, then regained; it seems the peasants haven't forgotten Eston. Elost, however, was been taken by Hammarsett and has yet to be returned.
During the first part of the war we had some troubles with our allies - namely, that they would not help us until General Roland had stepped down from his post. Luka Emarama has now taken his place and both Darka and the Barony have come to our aid. And, once again, enemy troops have returned to Nazamroth to loot and take the region (although I question the logic of doing both of those at the same time...) but whether they'll be able to keep it once their troops have left is another thing. I'd say Eston is doing pretty well for a realm being attacked by five other realms. | |||
| Editor: Anneliese | |||
| Talerium declares War on Eston | Monday 1st November | ||
| Talerium, a nation that sounds suspiciously like a kind of rock, has declared war on Eston. One infiltrator has even tried to assassinate the king, but that sort of thing happens even when Talerium is not at war with us, so not a whole has changed. The only difference now is that there are Cagilan, Corian and Taleruimite troops on our borders. | |||
| Editor: Anneliese | |||
