Muninn Newsrag/Adventures of one Drunk and her Rabbit/RP6Ch4

Davendrall gets a new Captain - Chapter 4

Roleplay from Davendrall

Davendrall sat around the campfire eating her breakfast "Erm...excuse me Mistress Davendrall" said Andre, approaching her with caution. He had a plaster on his nose...which was surprising ineffective at healing a broken nose. Davendrall glared at him in response "I was just wondering...is a breakfast consisting of cookies and leprechaun wine that wise?" Davendrall glared at him even more angrily, taking a vicious bite out of her cookie "I'll just...go over there and...erm...see to it there...erm...aren't any elephants invading out camp" Davendrall glared at him even more angrily. Andre squealed and ran off. "I don't know what her problem is" He said to himself "You should" Davendrall whispered into his ear from behind, having silently creped up on him, making him jump. "Leave, Anneliese alone. I don't like you and she likes you even less. She doesn't like men so keep away from her. You touch her again and I wont restrain from killing you next time" Davendrall stalked off back to the camp "Yumyum!" Davendrall called for her scribe "Yes Mistress Davendrall?!" Yuma reported instantly...out of nowhere, knowing that when Davendrall was angry...getting on her bad side is fatal "Battle report from yesterday" "Yes Mistress Davendrall, i've written it all up, here you go" Davendrall rose an eyebrow "Battle in Hernepool, Eston Vs Undead Raccoons!" "Erm...yes ma'am, thats what you fought yesterday" "Undead Raccoons?! I thought they were monkeys!" "Erm...well..." Yuma tried his best to tread carefully "They were definitly Raccoons" "What the hell's the difference! Monkeys, Raccoons, the're practically the same species" "In the same way Monkeys and humans are the same species...erm...sorry...didn't meen to say that aloud" Yuma winced "What is the difference?" "Erm...well...humans are civilized...well...some of them are. They also lack fur covering their entire bodies and don't tend to live in trees" "Not between humans and monkeys you idiot! Monkeys and Raccoons" "Oh...erm...well the most striking difference is that Raccoons have obvious black markings on their face...like their wearing a mask...making them look like bandits" "We cannot have this Yuma! Have the men get some brown paint and paint over these 'black markings' on the Raccoons that were killed yesterday. No one can know that the great Lady Davendrall Felhand, Mistress of Darkness, protector of the cookie, mother of poison berries, feared viking assassin of Norland, mistook a Raccoon for a monkey!" Yuma smiled, and breathed a sigh of relief, before running off to tell the men her orders "At least she's starting to get back to normal...she's been so weird these past few days"

Roleplay from Anneliese

"...so I hear you are a Mistress of Dorkness," Anneliese said, coming up behind Davendrall and grinning.

Roleplay from Davendrall

"Dorkness? Can't you hear girl?!" Then Davendrall realized Anneliese was making fun of her "Yeah well at least I don't have a tail" She replied, swaying with drunkenness Then, out of a tent appeared Andre, with a plaster on his nose Davendrall groaned aloud "Hey Anneliese" He said walking up casually "If I said you had a nice body would you hold it against me?" He grinned. From the look Davendrall gave him and the predicted reaction of Anneliese, he stopped grinning and swiftly ran away...he didn't feel like being given another plaster by the healer

Roleplay from Anneliese

Anne snorted as she watched him leave. "At least he had the sense to run away this time." Turning toward Davendrall, she said, "You don't have a tail? I'm not so sure about that..." Noticing that Davendrall was swaying from drunkenness, and probably couldn't run very fast, she ran up to her and pulled her pants down. "See?" Anne snickered, "You do have a very nice tail." She then ran off, giggling.

Roleplay from Davendrall

Having her trousers pulled down, the world bore witness to Davendrall's underwear; bright pick underwear with little white fluffy bunny pictures on. Davendrall stood there, watching Anneliese run off, not entirely sure what to do. "Did she just do what I thought she just did Douglas?" She said to a random ginger midget she saw in her hallucinations "Did she really just pull my trousers down and tell me I had a very nice tail?" Davendrall shouted after Anneliese "I am not a man!"

Roleplay from Anneliese

Anneliese was sitting inside her tent, relating the tale of how she had beaten up Andre, and the events since then. "...so then I pulled her pants and you wouldn't believe what she was wearing!" "No." The scribe said, looking far more intent on cleaning the underside of her nails than listening, "What was it?" "A bright pink thing with little white rabbits on it!" Anne nearly fell off her cot laughing. "Can you imagine her asking a tailor or seamstress for that sort of thing? What sort of assassin wears bunnies on her underwear?" "You know," Catharina said, looking up from her nails, "You sound awfully interested in that woman's underwear..." Anne's face reddened. "Just what are you implying?" "I always thought it was odd that you hung around her after she put you in that cage - even going so far as to goad her into doing it again the next time you met her!" She frowned, not liking where she was going with this. "You know I like fighting..." "But after a while, wasn't it obvious that she wasn't going to fight you?" She paused, as if waiting for a response, then continued when Anne did not reply, "You must either like being putting in a cage or..." She smiled knowingly. Anne opened her mouth, as if to say something, then swiftly closed it, her face reddening. Unable to form words to deny her accusations, she simply glared at her scribe. The scribe grinned, "And now you're talking about her undergarments... it's awfully suspicious, I'm just sayin'." "I-I-" She sputtered, "-I'm going to hurt you!" Catharina moved away as her employer lunged toward her, and then ran out of the tent, laughing. "Stupid scribe..." Anne picked herself off the floor. She dusted off her clothing - not that it had gotten dirty, but it was a nervous habit - and regained her composure. "Hmph." She wasn't sure when the next battle would be, and she couldn't wait that long; she needed something to distract herself now. "C'mon, Honey, let's go hunting..." She coaxed the goshawk off its perch, and exited the tent, hoping she didn't meet either the scribe or Davendrall on her way out.

Roleplay from Davendrall

As Anneliese exited her tent alone with her hawk, a strange...person...sneaked up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. Turning around Anneliese saw a...woman(?)...in a dress...wearing an obvious blond wig...and makeup which didn't quite cover the stubble. This...woman(?)...looked remarkable like Andre. "Hey baby," this...woman(?) said in a remarkably deep, masculine voice, before changing to a clearly fake feminine voice "I mean...hey baby my names Andrea, i heard you like women, wanna screw" This...woman(?) winked and held out...her(?) hand. A single screw lay in her(?) palm

Roleplay from Anneliese

"This is ridiculous." Anne said, looking at 'Andrea'. This attempt was so awkward, so desperate that even Anneliese could not be angry. She started laughing, so hard that the hawk fell off her gloved fist. It was dangling from the jess attached to its legs, batting its wings in an attempt to right itself. "Ah, sorry, Honey," she said to the hawk, and carefully placed it back on her hand. The goshawk ruffled its feathers, and looked at her in a way that was decidedly angry. Of course, most hawks looked a bit angry, considering they did not have any facial muscles in their beaks and could not smile. "Andre, if you really want to become a woman... well, I'm afraid I don't know any one who can create the... certain parts, but I'm sure I could find a healer that would be willing to remove that tumor between your legs."

Roleplay from Davendrall

Andre looked shocked at Anneliese's discovery "Andre? Who's Andre? I'm a woman" he said saying woman in a particularly feminine and flamboyant way Andre strode forward, moving his hips in attempt to look feminine "So, if your left leg was Christmas and your right leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?" he flirted, looking at Anneliese direct in the eye in a seductive way that looked more perverse than anything else.

Roleplay from Anneliese

Anneliese pretended to ignore this 'Andrea', as if she had not heard him. "Honey," She said sweetly, addressing her hawk, "Do you remember that trick I taught you? The one with the eyeballs?" She released the leather cord tethering the hawk to her hand. She made a short clicking sound and thrust the hawk into the air. The hawk swooped down toward Andre, talons outstretched and aimed in the general direction of his face.

Roleplay from Davendrall

Andre ducked out of the way of the hawk, screaming like a girl, and dived towards Anneliese, his wig falling off, launching them both into a nearby bush Andre...with his make up covered face...looked deep and romantically into Anneliese's eyes, dropping his feminine accept "My love, since the first moment I met you, and looked into your beautiful brown eyes, I knew you were the one. I have tried to restrain myself, but my heart and my body aches for you. My love for you reaches to the farthest ends of the planet and my need for you is greater than a rabbits need to breed. I would give the world for you. I would climb the tallest mountain and swim the deepest ocean. I'll prove it to you, if you let me show you my breaststroke"

Roleplay from Anneliese

Anne hissed, but managed to remain calm. She decided to give him one last warning. "Andre, you know nothing about me. You don't love me." She paused, "and if your 'need' is so great, then it must be simple lust that you mistake for love." She pulled herself away from him, and stood up, "I do not and will never love you, and if you did actually love me, you'd have the sense to leave me alone." She gave a long whistle, almost like a songbird, and the hawk turned around and flew in her direction. However, it was not yet close enough to land or attack.

Roleplay from Davendrall

"Please Anneliese. I cannot restrain myself any more. If anyone could love someone as much as I love you, they could not stand back and watch everything they ever wanted slip away, they could not leave the thing most precious to them alone. Please Anneliese, give me what I desire" Andre stepped forward, so he had Anneliese against a tree. He placed his hands either side of her and leaned forward to kiss

Roleplay from Anneliese

Anne reached for the dagger held in a sheath on belt, but instead pulled out a big furry, striped tail. Lacking the time to reach again for an actual weapon, she shoved the raccoon's behind in Andre's face. A rotting limb, upon which an old fallen tree was leaning against, creaked and groaned in a way that indicated it was not entirely stable...

Roleplay from Davendrall

Andre leaned forward and kissed Anneliese passionately Before opening his eyes he said "Wow your mouth is hairy" ...then he opened his eyes...seeing he had just kissed a dead undead raccoon's ass...it tasted like brown paint "EWWWWWWWWWWWW!" He squealed, grabbing the raccoon and throwing it out the way...straight into the rotting limb that was supporting the clearly unstable tree. Andre didn't notice and went to kiss Anneliese again...then the tree fell on him

Roleplay from Anneliese

Anneliese cringed as Andre looked as if he would try to kiss her again, and began to reach for her dagger once more. Then the tree fell on him. Anne stood in shock for several moments, considering what had just occurred. A man had nearly kissed her... right after kissing a raccoon's behind! She shuddered. There were no words that could convey the amount of disgust she felt. The goshawk neared, and she held up her gloved hand so it could land. She was silent as she reattached the cord connecting the hawk to her gloves. But as she turned and looked at the tree - the living one, that had the rotted limb - she almost bowed. "Thank you." She was normally not a superstitious person, but she was certain she would make a sacrifice of some sort to the tree - or tree spirit - that had most certainly prevented that from occurring. Anne turned and walked away. "I think, perhaps, I know whose blood I shall be sacrificing," She grinned, "and perhaps Davendrall will join us. What do you think, Honey?" The hawk made no comment.

For the next part to the thrilling Adventures of One Drunk and her Rabbit read Chapter 5