Muninn Newsrag/Adventures of one Drunk and her Rabbit/RP5Ch7

Pie fight at the tournament in York - Chapter 7

Roleplay from Anneliese

Anneliese was suddenly woken by a loud boom coming from outside her tent. "What? Where? Are they attacking?" With no regard to self-preservation, she immediately picked up her sword and ran out. It took a few moments of waving her sword around at invisible enemies to realize that no one was trying to kill her. Bits of pumpkin were everywhere. On the tent, on the ground and even a few splattered on a tree trunk. A black, charred mass with chunks of partially melted pumpkin had replaced the bonfire they had started earlier. They hadn't put the fire out before they went to sleep, which in hindsight, was probably a bad idea. Her squire came out of the tent, yawning and blinking the sleep out of her eyes. "What happened?" "I think the pumpkin exploded." What Anne couldn't figure out was how the pumpkin had exploded. Surely this wasn't normal behavior for pumpkins? The squire knelt down beside the charred ruins. She ran a finger along a bit of soot, and sniffed it. "It smells like the stuff some of those special forces groups use." "But why a pumpkin, of all things?" "You must remember that this was a violated pumpkin. It must have been very angry. Angry enough to explode." Anne glared at her squire. "This is not the time for jokes." Jes sighed. Anne was fairly humorless when she wasn't drinking. It was a horrible thing to think, considering the effect hallucinations had on her, but she sometimes wished the dame would drink more often. "I don't think it would have exploded if it hadn't been of fire. If I may guess, I think someone wanted to harm us. Or you. Wasn't that who the box was addressed to?" She stood up, and dusted the soot off her hands and clothing, "I think someone must've know - or hoped - that you would set the thing on fire." "Oh," was all she said. She didn't have that many enemies, much less someone that would go to this length to try to kill her. The only person she could think of was her sister, and she hadn't seen her at the tournament. Still, all signs pointed towards her. The icky letter accompanying it, implying that the pumpkin had been used for disgusting purposes... Katelijn was the only person who had both a grudge against her and knew her well enough to guess the action she'd take if she were to ever receive such a disgusting gift.

Roleplay from Davendrall

Davendrall too woke up to the loud boom, but less enthusiastically trudged out of her tent and yawned "Huh? Was a dreaming that or was their a load bang?" Davendrall turned to look at the pumpkin fire...then looked around...seeing charred bits of pumpkin everywhere "Anne...I think someone sent you a pumpkin bomb. Interesting way to go about it...they must have known you well..." Davendrall was going to carry on speaking but something caught her attention On the hill just where the sun was coming up there were a few human shaped silhouettes...then there were more...there were perhaps 50 of these human silhouettes coming down the hill now. As they got closer she saw a lot of them were holding carving knives, frying pans, and other kitchen instruments, and all of them wore aprons "Oh no....the caterers from the buffet...we recked all their food in that massive food fight we started didn't we...RUN!!!

Roleplay from Anneliese

"Yeah, that was the conclusion I reached..." Anne said. She turned to look at what had caught Davendrall's attention, and saw the horde of bakers, cooks and brewers. "Uhm. We can't run, we still need to get our tent and stuff together before we leave - maybe we could distract them while our squires..." Her own squire, hearing that, decided it would be best to get started on the task right away. One man broke off from the group and walked up to them. "I have several witness that say that you two were responsible for yesterday's fight. Since we weren't able to sell our food - no one wants to eat something that's been thrown - perhaps you could pay for all the food that's been wasted." He said, looming over them, wielding his spoon menacingly. It didn't have quite the desired effect on Anneliese, because she was only a foot or so shorter than him. "I am sorry to hear that, but I believe you have the wrong people - we certainly weren't involved in any sort of food fight." A little smile appeared on her face, "Right, Dave?"

Roleplay from Davendrall

"No...no...not at all...we would never do any such thing...we don't start food fights...we are good...honorable nobles...we wouldn't even dream causing trouble" Davendrall saw her esquire too taking the tents down and leaned to whisper at Anneliese "He isn't convinced...and there taking too long to take the tents down...what do we do now" Turning to face the cook once again she put her hands up "Now...listen...theres no need to do anything rash...just put the spoon down"

Roleplay from Anneliese

The man with the spoon took a step closer, while they each took a step back. "She's right, you know," She smiled in a way that was supposed to be reassuring, but betrayed her nervousness, "You don't want to get in trouble for assaulting the wrong nobles, do you?" That, at least, gave him pause. "Make an excuse to leave. Go steal some horses, and maybe a few steer... make a stampede, send it this way," She whispered to Davendrall while he was mulling it over, "I'll keep him busy."

Roleplay from Davendrall

"Im sorry for the wreckage of your food...but you clearly have the wrong people" "Well I seen who it was with me own eyes and they looked a lot like you two...ya best pay us back or ya ain't gonna like what happens next" "Steady" Davendrall eyes the spoon that was lifted meaninglessly "Listen, let me just go and get my purse and I'll see about repaying you for your loss" Davendrall quickly ran out of sight. She looked about for anything to help here "How the hell do we get out of this one" Then she saw a bunch of goats that were drinking from a nearby lake "Hmm..." she thought careful before sneaking back and getting a crate of Leprechaun Wine She crept near the lake and empties the entire crate of wine into the lake "Dammit I really wanted to drink those"

Roleplay from Anneliese

In an attempt to distract them while Davendrall was gone, Anne had convinced the man to list all the expenses and everything they couldn't sell. She pretended to listen politely through most of it, but as the list neared its end, she realized that Davendrall was not back yet. She began to panic as she knew the cook would soon be questioning her absence. "...strawberry pie..." "Wait, wait, now!" She said, "I'm not paying for that! That pie was awful. What did you do, use rotten strawberries?" "Are you implying that I can't cook?!" shouted a man from somewhere in the group. "I'm not implying that you can't cook, I'm implying that you are very good with poisons!" Anne shouted back. "YOU DARE INSULT MY GREAT GRANDMOTHER'S PIE!" The man emerged from the crowd, brandishing a cooking instrument that she didn't recognize. She unsheathed her sword, "You wanna make something of it?!" "YEAH!" Anne pointed the sword at his chest, which was protected by a mere apron. "You're wielding what appears to be a type of large fork, and you want to fight me? Are you sure about that?" The crowd around them also raised the objects in their hands. "Oh... that's right... you have friends..." On second thought, maybe starting a fight wasn't such a good idea. She lowered her sword, as if she was going surrender, then punched him the gut. The man doubled over in pain, while she took this opportunity to run. Amid the sound of shouting and several dozen people following her, she could faintly hear... bleating? She turned her head to see what was going on, but all she could see was a horde of very angry caterers running after her. "DRUNK GOATS!" Davendrall screamed and sprinted past. The squires, upon hearing this, bolted in an entirely different direction. Seeing no other choice, Anne decided to dive into a patch of brambles and hide. From her vantage point in the bushes, she could see the caterers running after Davendrall, the herd of goats running after the caterers and the squires running in circles like two headless chickens.

In case it's not clear what happened here: Katelijn poured black powder into a hole in the pumpkin, causing it to explode when lit on fire.

...though I actually don't know if that would work in real life or be availaible during the medieval period, but considering we have a giant bald squirrel running around and a horde of rabbits writing a newspaper, I'm not sure that matters.