Barek Family/Baldrick
Much to the dismay, and even shame of some in the family, a young turd of a man was discovered to be of noble birth. And so here is his story.
Roleplay from Baldrick Barek March 1, 1011
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Different faiths had different ideas on what constituted 'Hell', but Edmund suspected that they all were somewhat like the last two weeks that he'd spent on a cramped ship with his new Lord and all of his belongings.
No one had been more shocked when a long forgotten record book had revealed that a fellow named Baldrick was in fact the fourth son of Sir Nestor of House Barek. Though the patriarch of the House was less than pleased, and immediately made arrangements for the newest lordling of the house to be mantled in the house colors, given a signet, and then immediately placed aboard a ship bound for another continent.
Edmund's own ancestors included noble lords, and even a King, but had fallen low, and lost not only its land, but also its claim to nobility. And so in a perhaps ironic twist of fate, he found himself in service to Sir Baldrick of House Barek.
"What have you got there, Baldrick?" asked Edmund as he struggled to pull a cart with their belongings away from the pier.
"Sir Baldrick," he absently reminded Edmund, for the eighth time today.
"Its a letter to the nobles of Sornon! Nobles are always exchanging bits of paper with each other." he said brightly, unfolding the paper to reveal a very crudely drawn castle, with some poorly drawn horses around it.
"Sirion," he corrected absently. "Bal.... Sir Baldrick, are you aware that letters generally contain some letters, as well as words?"
Baldrick pursed his lips and grimaced at the drawing in his hands. "Ah hm, I hadn't really considered that..."
"You can't write, can you?"
"Oh no! My mum always said that writing was for lords and kings, not grubby washboys!"
"I am sure that she did." replied Edmund. "Well, Sir Baldrick, we have a solution. I shall write your letters for you."
Baldrick brightened.
"It is customary, My Lord, that scribes are paid in silver. I believe that the fee is typically in the neighborhood of one silver piece per word."
Baldrick opened his coin pouch and looked inside, jingling the contents. "If you say so."
Sir Baldrick of House Barek sighed happily. This was working out quite swimmingly. He twirled the family signet ring and kicked at a rock on the cobbled pathway, as Edmund struggled behind him with the baggage cart.
Letter from Baldrick Barek March 1, 1011
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My esteemed Lords and Ladies of Sirion,
It is with great honor that I announce that the finest and bravest minds of Dwilight have seen fit to share one of the nobles of House Barek.
Sir Baldrick is a unique nobleman, the likes of which you will not find upon this continent, or any other, thankfully.
As the asylums are full, Sir Baldrick eagerly seeks a Lord or Lady to whom he can swear an oath of fealty.
Yours.
E.B.
on behalf of
Sir Baldrick Barek (Noble)
Roleplay from Baldrick Barek March 2, 1011
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Having secured lodging in Lissambar the previous night, Sir Baldrick and his entourage managed at least a few hours of sleep in the wee hours of the morning.
"Good morning!" chirped Baldrick.
"Wrong on two counts, Sir Baldrick. It is neither good, as I would only call this day as good as a plate full of day-old suspicious looking sausages, nor morning, as it is in fact already noon." Edmund replied casually as he cast open the curtains.
"Which oath will we accept?" Baldrick inquired.
"An excellent question, My Lord," replied Edmund, as he crossed to a small table by door, and picked up a single piece of paper. "Allow me to list our offers of oath and estate, Sir."
He paused for a long moment, then dropped the paper to the table.
"Yes well, now that we're done with that..." Edmund finished.
"What? No offers? What's on that bit of paper then?" responded Baldrick, crossly.
"Oh that?" his servant retrieved the paper once more. "The Judge of Sirion finds it curious that Sir Baldrick speaks in third person. And who can blame him?"
"In who?" asked Baldrick.
"In third per-" Edmund interrupted himself and glanced at Baldrick. "Oh nevermind. What he means is that he hopes you will send along your plans for the next large castle building project. I am sure that your skills as an engineer will be in quite high demand."
Baldrick grins. "Oh good! Because I have a cunning plan!"
"I am sure that you do, Sir."
"You see, if they built the castles underground, then no one could throw rocks at the walls."
"I will begin writing immediately, Sir."
Sir Baldrick Barek (Noble)
Letter from Baldrick Barek March 2, 1011
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Noble Lords and Ladies of Sirion,
Apologies for the previous letter, which elicited a bit of confusion.
I am in fact seeking to provide my assistance to a Lord or Lady of the realm, by negotiating an oath and managing an estate.
I am hopeful that any interested parties will contact me shortly.
PS - I am completely literate, and able to write letters - let any who say otherwise be trampled by an angry musk ox.
Signed,
Sir Baldrick Barek
Roleplay from Baldrick Barek March 4, 1011 Message sent to everyone in your realm (104 recipients) "What are you doing, Sir Baldrick?" Edmund asked Baldrick, who was starting at the wall.
"Thinking." replied Baldrick.
"That is the most shocking thing that I've heard this year, Sir."
After a few moments, curiosity overcame Edmund.
"And what are we thinking about, Sir?"
"Well, no one has sent an oath yet - You did send them the castle plan?" Baldrick inquired.
"Oh yes Sir. I definitely sent them out, and most assuredly did not throw the castle schematics into the fireplace along with the rest of the rubbish."
Baldrick looked satisfied, but then asked, "Maybe I should go and meet some of the nobles. My mum says that I'm as charming as a brick." he smiled happily.
Edmund shook his head adamantly. "Oh, Sir Baldrick, you must never ever ever meet with other nobles, if it can possibly be avoided! No - if the other nobles were to encounter you in person, I fear that they would be completely overwhelmed by your... presence. No, the best tactic is to allow your head scribe to continue writing to the nobles of the realm. I feel that this tactic will prove most reward for you, Sir. Give it time!"
Edmund remembered something - "Ahhh, there does seem to be a small but important matter that I felt was necessary to bring to your attention. It seems that the local merchants have increased the price of parchment recently. I am simply aghast at their costs, but we are left with little option but to pay them what they ask."
Baldrick looked confused.
"It is a trivial matter really, I will simply pay them the five silver coins per page, and will trouble you about it no further, Sir. I believe that 10 gold should take care of at least the next day or two."
Baldrick peered into his money pouch, which was somewhat lighter than it was a few days ago. These letters were somewhat expensive, it seemed. He shrugged and pulled out some coins, handing ten to his servant.
"Thank you Sir. Oh and I nearly forgot about the new messenger tax....." Sir Baldrick Barek (Noble)
Roleplay from Baldrick Barek September 27, 1011
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"Edmund, you're back!" exclaimed Sir Baldrick.
Edmund stamped the dust and dirt from his boots and surveyed the rooms that Baldrick had taken up residence in. They were absolutely filthy, and hardly fit for human habitation.
Baldrick threw his arms around Edmund in a great hug. Edmund wrinkled his nose in disgust and carefully pried Baldrick from around him.
"Why Edmund, when you vanished in the night, along with your clothing and belongings, as well as the chest of coins that I kept beneath my bed, the smallfolk said that you'd stolen my money and ran off to live a life of debauchery and hedonism."
The money from the chest had enabled him to live well, but eventually it ran out. "Oh no, My Lord. You see, a gang of thieves broke in while you slept. They stole the chest from beneath your bed. I could think of nothing to do except to pack my things and immediately set off after them."
Baldrick's mouth gaped open in wonderment.
"I finally caught them, My Lord, yet the money was spent. It has taken me all this time to journey back to you."
"Thank the gods that you have returned!" cried Baldrick, again gripping Edmund in a smelly hug.
Edmund sighed.
"Baldrick, is that a monkey, or have you procreated recently?" Edmund peered warily at a small furry creature perched atop the back of a chair.
"It is!" Baldrick declared with a huge smile. "A merchant told me that it is an exceptionally rare monkey, because it can talk! It was quite expensive, and cost the rest of the savings that I'd hidden away."
"You had more coin hidden away?" asked Edmund.
"The pity is that it only talks while I'm not in the room - at least that's what the merchant told me."
"A talking chimp? You two should be two peas in a pod, then." replied Edmund, returning to the conversation.
"He sometimes throws his own sh-" Baldrick was interrupted as a glob of something brown and foul smelling hurled across the room and struck Edmund on the shoulder, splattering across his cloak. The monkey howled from the chair, and Baldrick smiled widely.
"Wonderful." Edmund sighed, wondering whether he would be better off opening his wrists immediately.
Letter from Baldrick Barek September 27, 1011
Message sent to everyone in your realm (87 recipients)
My Noble Lords, and Ladies as well, I suppose,
I hope that you will forgive the lengthy delay in responses from Lord Baldrick. You will recall from previous letters that he is completely literate, in fact I would say that he is far more literate than a schnauzer. Regardless, he has tasked me, his servant with penning his missives.
Sadly, any letters that have been sent to Lord Baldrick in the last while were either used in the fireplace or in the privy, and so if there is anything of pressing importance, I humbly urge you to find a comfortable chair, and write the letter again. I shall look forward to reading it to the incredibly literate Lord Baldrick as he tries on socks.
As Lord Baldrick is never content to while the day away humming soundless tunes or torturing crickets, he will be looking to manage an estate. I bid good luck to any Lord or Lady who takes him up on this offer, and I promise to avoid the problems that we had at the last estate. Thankfully the paint was able to be removed from the statue of the Lord's noble wife, and I think that there are no hard feelings.
Regards,
E.B.
on behalf of
Sir Baldrick Barek (Imperial Knight)
