The Giblot Gestapo Gazette/Issue 6

The Giblot Gestapo Gazette
Issue 06	The Very Best in Completely Biased Reporting!	15 Gold
August Edition

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Controversy after Assassination Attempt!

By Revan Question marks are hanging over Ganders fate in Giblot today for the attempted assassination on his brother, Goergyboy! Goergyboy was only slightly wounded in the incident when it happened two days ago. However, there have already been widespread calls amongst the nobility that Ganders madness must be put to an end. There have even been whispers of banishment muttered against him! Although there are other members of the nobility that think differently, one such person is reported as commenting: "How does it undermine the war effort if you try to assassinate a pacifist?" We at the GGG think the man has a fine point there! Historically, the two Militant brothers have always had an uneasy rivalry between them. Whereas Gander has represented Evil and Strength, Goergyboy has represented Goodness and Learning. Tensions have increased between the two in the last few months and finally it all came to a head when Gander tried to embed his Dagger in Goergyboy. Several other broken reports have come in to us at the GGG citing the fact that Gander has been deposed as Lord of Rollsovar by the people in a Violent Insurrection against him, however this has yet to be confirmed. It is unknown whether this will be seen as punishment enough for Ganders evil or whether further punishment will be required. We, as always, shall keep you posted.

Join The Cause!

By The GGG Team In another tremendous show of our commitment to biased and unfair reporting we are starting a "Gander Was Right!" Campaign! We feel that the people of Giblot are misguided in their disapproval over Ganders actions! That Dagger was made for Goergyboy, he had it coming - lets not lie to ourselves here! To ensure our campaign doesn't fail however, we shall be launching a Special Edition of the Giblot Gestapo Gazette to canvas support! We urge all of our loyal readers to join this New and Just Cause! Buy the 'Gander Was Right!' Campaign Edition here.

Dulthalos Steps Down as Commissioner!

By Revan In a surprise move, Dulthalos stepped down from his position as the Commissioner of the Giblot Headball League today. In a statement released by his scribe, Dulthalos has asked for Headball fans to remain calm as a replacement is found and to continue 'enjoying the beautiful game as you see fit.' Bizarrely Dulthalos has cited an abundance of paperwork for the reason he has stepped down, although it is widely known that Dulthalos avoids paperwork at all costs! The GGG's sympathies are with Dulthalos now that his paperwork has finally caught up with him. We eagerly look forward to see who the next Commissioner shall be! Comment by Sera Today is a sad day for headball, after all the blood and gore Dulthalos has put into the sport it's almost a shame to see this driving force leave us. But in the mean time, let us just concentrate on acquiring heads for the next tournament! Lets all begin sharpening our Axes for the new season! Remember, it's Decapitation fun the whole family can enjoy!

New Headball Commissioner Selected

By Revan After a quiet two weeks in the offices of the Giblot Headball League, another crackpot has been found to fill the position of Commissioner for the GHL. Today Detinu Detinu (not a misprint - we told you he was crazy!) has appointed himself as Commissioner of the League. Suspiciously there were no opponents to Detinu's appointment so we believe he has disposed of the competition! No goody goody will ruin the League that easily! Detinu's ruthless rise to Commissioner is a sure sign that we're in for a very vicious and enjoyable Tournament in the coming months! In Detinu's first speech as Commissioner, he has pledged to hold the next Headball tournament in Steepglades. The game shall be played on the ice that forms near the higher peaks of the mountains, or perhaps it shall be played on an icy river once the Winter hits? So far details are fuzzy on that subject. There have also been several reports that the Heads shall be cut in two and drained with scoring coming from whacking one of the halves of the head into a net with a stick! Apparently after 20 minutes whoever has got the head into the net the most times shall win. Unfortunately, at this time no one knows what to call the heads in this newest headball hybrid. Some people have tried calling it a 'headpuck.' However, these people have been swiftly and violently dealt with for daring to think of something so stupid! Another titbit Detinu gave us in his speech is that there shall be more teams this tournament, however there will be smaller team sizes as a result. Oh, we are in for a fun tournament, although we feel that Detinu may have taken Dulthalos' final words as Commissioner, a little too seriously. From all we have learnt so far of Detinu's plans we can only surmise Detinu has completely lost it! In a separate show of goodwill, Detinu has promised to send all the drained brains for use in Sera's Sandwich Shop in Helsera. Rumours of a pact between the two have been vehemently denied by both parties.

Flaming Pile Of...

By Dick McNick Early today, a few hours after it stopped raining, a large glow could be seen coming from Steepglades. Immediately the media jumped to the scene, we being the only media in Giblot. Unfortunately I was assigned to cover this story, something about not keeping up with the requirements. Once on the scene it came to this reporters horror to discover that the glow was caused by burning corpses! Oh the smell was just terrible. Think of the smell from a week old battlefield then light it on fire. Someone yelled something about spelling out, but it was hard to focus with all the noxious fumes. Once getting an aerial view, it proved that the carnage did indeed spell out something. "SERA FOR JUDGE!" Not exactly discrete, but to each his own. The biggest bonus to this view was being upwind of the glowing letters of doom. Will this gross display of madness gain him favor in the polls? Probably, but there will be some competition. Until then sleep tight despite the bright glow emminating from the region. And who is that Revan guy anyway?