Difference between revisions of "The Alowcan Press/First Issue: Late May 2006"
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==Letter to the editor== | ==Letter to the editor== | ||
| − | Dear Xerxes, Year:unknown | + | Dear Xerxes, Year:unknown |
| − | I write to your newspaper to comment about the captured 'royals'. It is hard to believe that both were captured in the same week, let alone the same decade. Since Loki, Lord of Oreos, has already been freed, I must ask about the punishment of Ender. He became greedy over Alowcan land, he backstabbed us and made alliance with the evil filth of Oritolon. If I were the one to sentence Ender, he would be tortured for information essential to our plans and left to rot. Executing him would also be a pleasure of mine, for the slime has insulted myself and my homeland with his stench. May the Trinity be with you, | + | I write to your newspaper to comment about the captured 'royals'. It is hard to believe that both were captured in the same week, let alone the same decade. Since Loki, Lord of Oreos, has already been freed, I must ask about the punishment of Ender. He became greedy over Alowcan land, he backstabbed us and made alliance with the evil filth of Oritolon. If I were the one to sentence Ender, he would be tortured for information essential to our plans and left to rot. Executing him would also be a pleasure of mine, for the slime has insulted myself and my homeland with his stench. May the Trinity be with you, |
Sir Squeaks Beyoku of Irdalni. | Sir Squeaks Beyoku of Irdalni. | ||
Revision as of 21:25, 20 May 2006
 The Alowcan Press
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| Price Free | Editor: Xerxes, Duke of Alowca | Issue No 1 20th May 2006 |
| Printed In Alowca City | ||
- Disclaimer: This paper DOES NOT represent the official opinions of the Alowcan government, merely a general accounting for the public.
- Newest articles can be found from the top of the page.
Contents
Looting, again...
May 20, 2006- Oritolon and Alebad continue to loot the lands of Alowca, what honour do they possess? None at all it seems. We have stood fast in the face of overwhelming numbers and come out victorious, now it seems, that our invaders have lowered themselves to such atrocious acts of terrorising the populace. I hope we can expect more noble-like behaviour from them in their next foray into our territory.
Captured!?
May 20, 2006- This war has taken a heavy toll upon Alowca, and yet, due to tactical incompetence from our adversaries, the Alowcan armies have managed to capture both Loki and Ender. The two very rulers of Oritolon and Alebad who declared war upon our little theocracy. Unfortunately, and much to our Haruspex Maximus Kaige's dismay, Loki managed to buy his freedom using family gold, it seems that Ender will not be so lucky. There is debate at the moment as to what should be done with this dishonourable fool. Torture? Release in good will? Release for a bargain? Or simply having him rot in our prisons for the next week where he can contemplate his misdeeds, only time will tell it seems.
Alebadian aggression
May 20, 2006- Well, I always knew the Alebadians could not be trusted, but I had no idea that their treachery ran so deep. Abaka is theirs? Indeed not my friends, for the people of Abaka despise Alebad, and to add insult to injury, would you believe that they looted the very region they want to take from us? Does that spell honour to you? It is no wonder that Abaka is now under Alowca's flag, for it would not have anything to do with its Alebadian oppressors anymore!
The Alowcan Press!
May 20, 2006- Well, the time has come! Alowca finally has a newspaper of her own! I grew tired of outdated accounts of the goings on in the Far East and I thought that Alowca could use a newspaper, to tell everyone about us! So here goes...
Letter to the editor
Dear Xerxes, Year:unknown I write to your newspaper to comment about the captured 'royals'. It is hard to believe that both were captured in the same week, let alone the same decade. Since Loki, Lord of Oreos, has already been freed, I must ask about the punishment of Ender. He became greedy over Alowcan land, he backstabbed us and made alliance with the evil filth of Oritolon. If I were the one to sentence Ender, he would be tortured for information essential to our plans and left to rot. Executing him would also be a pleasure of mine, for the slime has insulted myself and my homeland with his stench. May the Trinity be with you,
Sir Squeaks Beyoku of Irdalni.
