Tempest Family/Amélie/Battle in Asker 21 08 2020
Letters and Roleplay
| Letter from Amélie Tempest | |
| The darkness of night gave way to a rising red sun. Queen Amélie had no doubt, much blood would be spilled this morning and likely some atrocious cooking afterwards. As she visualized the battle to come a spell of gloom overcame her as all light of the coming day left her eyes leaving her completely in the darkness of the void. A voice would whisper sour words to Amélie, such a deep and hateful voice she could only recognize as her self proclaimed master from the vision past.
However this time the darkened whispers would be in a much more familiar language to the Queen of Portion, "Verser autant de sang que possible ça me plaît" When a war trumpet sounded Queen Tempest quickly came back to her senses to see the battle was about to take place. Amélie thought to herself, How long was she lost in the shadows just now? Looking around it seemed as if some hours had passed despite that her odd experience seemed to last seconds at most. With everyone in place for the battle some of the Portioneers looked to their Queen for words of motivation. Amélie wasn't quite sure what to say to motivate her people considering the atrocities they would soon witness at the hands of the Tilogians. "Portioneers, across zat field ur enemees lai een wait non doubt ovairjoyed at zé battéll to come. Whén we clash wiv la army of Ootair Tilog show non maircy et non quartair fair zey weehl surlee givé us noné! Give zém onlee yur steel and righteous fury. Show zém wé weehl not sit idlee by while zey roast our subjects zo brutallee. By dais end win air lose we weehl be roasteng zum Tilogians ourselves!" Queen Amélie hoped her words would help see the Aristocratic Monarchy of Portion seize the day. | |
| Amélie Tempest | |
| Letter from Harbinger Schwarzherzig | |
| Wonderful! Wonderful! You have given us SO MUCH BARBECUE.
Scrumptious Portion Queen, We have decided on a winner for the Chili Cook off. Its A TIE. Every Portion noble here wins the Grand Prize of.... DECAPITATION! CONGRATULATIONS. Collect your prize from Minister of Injustice Myles. Except Elias. Your chili tastes like wet Garm smells. Harbinger Schwarzherzig Minister of Offense of Outer Tilog Duke of "The Chairthing" Viscount of Ravossol Marshal of the Band of Ghouls, Fiends and Abominations | |
| Harbinger Schwarzherzig | |
| Letter from Elias Stormreaver | |
| I'm unsure what a wet Garm may smell like, that would possibly border on implying he may bathe or clean in some way, even if that were to be standing in the rain. Dreadful thought.
Sir Elias Stormreaver Knight of Asker | |
| Elias Stormreaver | |
| Letter from Harbinger Schwarzherzig | |
| Bathing Garm is a rare occurence and a dangerous undetaking. The smell is overwhelming.
The Chairthing of your Hearts (cut out, in a pile, well seasoned), Harbinger Schwarzherzig Minister of Offense of Outer Tilog Duke of "The Chairthing" Viscount of Ravossol Marshal of the Band of Ghouls, Fiends and Abominations | |
| Harbinger Schwarzherzig | |
| Letter from Garm Tanngrisnir Crownguard | |
| -SNARL-
I don't bathe. I get rained on. Garm Tanngrisnir Crownguard Duke of the Abyssal Gate | |
| Garm Tanngrisnir Crownguard | |
| Letter from Amélie Tempest | |
| Chairthing Harbaker
Where is the other Chairthing? Darling Darlene. He doesn't return my letters. He doesn't show up for battle. Does the other Chairthing even exist or is he simply a figment of the insanitary that is Outer Tilog? I supposed that gives you even more credibility as it were. Despite our disagreement and differences you are at least proving to be a proper albeit awful ruler. Awful for my people at least. I don't know if you BBQ your own people. Perhaps we can help with that? I usually don't avail myself of people meat but perhaps if you could send one of your specialist over to our lines and show interested Portioneers how its done? We will only be roasting Tilogian casualties however and I would hope none of our people partake, but I am interested to see if our hounds would enjoy BBQ Tilogian. Also it might help with that rotting corpse problem you seem to have. At the very least roasted Tilogian should be good for the soil. I am also quite disappointed to hear that Duke Garm has not had his bath. I have somewhat of a weak stomach as of late and am not sure if I could tolerate the smell. Oh well it is of little consequence it seems I have all the time in the world to wait. It's a good thing I have the patience of a saint and the beauty of one as well. Au prochain matin sanglant, Lady Amélie Tempest Queen of Portion Royal of Portion Duchess of Wetham | |
| Amélie Tempest | |
| Request from Amélie Tempest | |
| Sir Elias
If anyone was going to strike Duke Garm on my behalf I am glad it was you. I can think of no sir more deserve considering the pain and suffering we have both suffered from the jaws of the wargs. Tell me were you able to collect any part of him during the battle? I might have use for the pound of flesh I demanded. Votre Reine royale, Lady Amélie Tempest Queen of Portion Royal of Portion Duchess of Wetham | |
| Amélie Tempest | |
| Letter from Harbinger Schwarzherzig | |
| Mon Chéri,
We routinely barbecue Tilogians. What do you think we do with the scribes after we execute them for the high crime of literacy? As for Darlene, as We have said before, he is no Chairthing. He is Our secretary, and there has been an error with Our mailing address. Plus We think he's been drinking the water in Outer Tilog, as he has supposedly been playing with squirrels, which are illegal. We suspect you will have to wait some time to experiment with roasted Tilogian though, as the field is ours. Again. However, we are happy to share with you some cooking tips. Barbecue may be the main passion of Outer Tilog, but it is not our sole passion. If you direct your attention to the screaming men running around on fire, I will be demonstrating the techniques I am about to explain next to them. After properly quartering a man and seperating the meat from the bone, what one should first do is get a large pot, and fill about halfway with water. Add salt, fresh garlic, rosemary, black pepper, the femurs and a few vertebrae. This will create a savory stock. Let that cook for about an hour. While that is cooking, you filet the loins, and season. Salt and pepper, coarsely ground. Set those aside. Now, take the spleen and place into a bowl. With a blade instrument, vigorously stir until liquified. The liquid will seperate into two parts, a dark liquid, and a clear liquid. Strain and seperate. Keep them both. Take the dark liquid, which is more of a paste consistency, and roll the loins in them untio they're coated. Then roll the loins in flour. You don't have to, but I like to double coat. So, roll them in the dark spleen paste and then again in the flour. Season. Salt, pepper, parsley. Once the stock is done, use some to fill a deep pan about halfway, and apply heat. Once the stock is bubbling, add the loins. Now, the clear spleen liquid is added to the mixture. Zest a lemon into the sauce, as well as some garlic, salt, pepper, and a bay leaf. Juice the lemon into the pan as well, and increase the heat until it's screaming hot. Cook for about 5 minutes or until the bottom is golden brown, then flip. Now, take some fat from the victim, and add into the pan. Five more minutes, then pull the loins, and let them rest on a grate. Let the loins drain. The contents of the pan, reduce them until the consistency is like gravy, then remove from the heat. Plate the loins, and pour the sauce from the pan onto them. Magnifique! We invite you, under truce to join Us in enjoying this meal, and perhaps we may conduct state business. From the Chairthing of your heart, Harbinger Schwarzherzig Minister of Offense of Outer Tilog Duke of "The Chairthing" Viscount of Ravossol Marshal of the Band of Ghouls, Fiends and Abominations | |
| Harbinger Schwarzherzig | |
| Letter from Harbinger Schwarzherzig | |
| Also, don't speak about Rotting Corpse like that. He is an upstanding individual. Most reliable body in Outer Tilog.
Right, Rotting Corpse? From the Office of the Eternal Chairthing, Harbinger Schwarzherzig Minister of Offense of Outer Tilog Duke of "The Chairthing" Viscount of Ravossol Marshal of the Band of Ghouls, Fiends and Abominations | |
| Harbinger Schwarzherzig | |
| Letter from Albrecht Kuriga | |
| Queen of Portions LARGE and small,
I am a quack. The sound, not the healers we use for ensuring our BBQs turn other realm's BBQs into tenderized meat first. I dare you to say otherwise. Albrecht Kuriga Baron of Reckrandi | |
| Albrecht Kuriga | |
| Letter from Amélie Tempest | |
| Like a duck?
Lady Amélie Tempest Queen of Portion Royal of Portion Duchess of Wetham | |
| Amélie Tempest | |
| Letter from Elias Stormreaver | |
| That does, indeed, sound like a duck.
Sir Elias Stormreaver Knight of Asker | |
| Elias Stormreaver | |
| Letter from Albrecht Kuriga | |
| Why of course not like a duck. Like a goose, obviously.
Albrecht Kuriga Baron of Reckrandi | |
| Albrecht Kuriga | |
| Letter from Amélie Tempest | |
| I thought geese honked? What backwards human eating geese do you have in Outer Tilog? Next you'll be claiming chicken neigh and horses moo.
Lady Amélie Tempest Queen of Portion Royal of Portion Duchess of Wetham | |
| Amélie Tempest | |
| Letter from Harbinger Schwarzherzig | |
| Funny that geese are mentioned. We have been breeding a pack of Arenese War Geese, and feeding them only fiends and having them drink from the waters of Outer Tilog...
Do geese normally breath fire? Harbinger Schwarzherzig Minister of Offense of Outer Tilog Duke of "The Chairthing" Viscount of Ravossol Marshal of the Band of Ghouls, Fiends and Abominations | |
| Harbinger Schwarzherzig | |
