Muninn Newsrag
 MUNINN NEWSRAG
| ||
| Lead Editor: Davendrall (User:X-anne-x) Editor, Agony Aunt and Official Spell-checker: Anneliese (User:Audacity) |
Cost: 3 cookies | October 2010 |
|---|---|---|
The Muninn Newsrag! The Newspaper about the glorious vikings of gloriousness of Norland! The Muninn Newsrag is named after Muninn, the owl of memory. This owl is owned by Odin, one of the Viking Gods of The Way of the Hammer. Although Norland has...mysteriously disappeared (but secretly we all know Xaphan forgot where he put it), the memory of Norland still lives on in the Norlanders who continue to seek a way to make a new Norland. As such, a paper about Norlanders, is named the newspaper of the memory. The paper is currently based in Barad Lacirith, Capital of Eston, where there is a current infestation of Norlanders. The main editor is Davendrall Felhand who also owns the newspaper as part of her business; The Cute Cookie Corporation. In her offices there are rows upon rows of mini desks. And in each one, is a rabbit. And in each rabbit's furry little paws is a pencil. And with that pencil, they have been trained to write. And thus this newspaper is written.
Adventures of one Drunk and her Rabbit
Also read the Adventures of one Drunk and her Rabbit, tales of the editors of this Newspaper, published by the Editors of this Newspaper available for your personal entertainment now!
Archives
This Month's Paper
Ask Anne the Agony Aunt |
|---|
| ______________________________________ |
| • Dear Aunt Anne, there's this thief that keeps stealing my chickens and leaving their bloody entrails all over my field. Everyone else says it is a fox, but I think it is my neighbor. What should I do? -Gilbert |
| • Dear Gilbert,
Kill his chickens - or livestock, or whatever it is that he has, and pour their blood on his doorstep. This is sure to put a stop that awful, disgusting behavior right away. - Anneliese |
| ______________________________________ |
| • Dear Aunt Anne, there is a patch of land on my neighbor's field that he refuses to claim. Nothing grows on it, and every time the tax collector comes around he claims it's mine and that I am not taking care of it properly. My lord is a very angry man and I am too afraid to approach him to settle this matter. What should I do? -Anonymous |
| • Dear Anonymous,
Kill the neighbor and bury his body in the infertile part. Something is sure to grow after that. - Anneliese |
| ______________________________________ |
| • Aunt Anne, I think I have a drinking problem. Can you help me? - Anonymous |
| • Dear Anonymous,
No. - Anneliese |
| ______________________________________ |
| Advertisement |
|
|
| Drunken rabbits rampage through Melias! | Sunday 24th October | ||
| Warning! The upper part of Melias is infested with drunken rabbits. The local watch has issued a warning to all citizens to not enter that part of the region, due to fear of ravaging, or loss of innocence due to the highly drunken rabbits being more...frisky...than sober ones. The cause of this outbreak of drunken rabbits is currently unknown. Rumors have been circuling about a certain female Norlandish noble doing strange things in her estate. Well what I say to this, readers of the Newsrag. ITS LIES! ALL LIES! DO NOT BELIEVE THESE FANATICAL THEORISTS OF CONSPIRACIES! THEY ARE OUT TO GET YOU! | |||
| Editor: Davendrall | |||
| War Is Over (Unfortunately) | Thursday 14th October | ||
| As you probably have noticed, we are no longer at war with Minas Ithil. There are various reasons for this (which I may get into later), but among the foremost is that every other realm in the southern alliance was planning to attack Eston. So, once again, Atamara has returned to its normal state of dreadful, boring peace.
To quote our standing orders:
| |||
| Editor: Anneliese | |||
| Opening of a new brothel | Sunday 10th October | ||
Location: Elonias' Tent Time: All Hours It is my displeasure to report that there is yet another brothel opening in Eston, though this one has several unique features that makes it worthy of an article in the newsrag:
And, finally the last and most unique feature: it is owned by a noble woman known as Davendrall Felhand, and its primary... ahem, employee is a peasant woman known as 'Elonias Myork'la'. She pretends to be a man, and refuses all men that come to her, and will only reveal herself to the man that can charm her clothes off. | |||
| Editor: Anneliese | |||
