Muninn Newsrag

MUNINN NEWSRAG
Lead Editor: Davendrall (User:X-anne-x) Editor, Agony Aunt and Official Spell-checker: Anneliese (User:Audacity)	Cost: 3 cookies	October 2010

The Muninn Newsrag! The Newspaper about the glorious vikings of gloriousness of Norland! The Muninn Newsrag is named after Muninn, the bird of memory. This bird is owned by Odin, one of the Viking Gods of The Way of the Hammer. Although Norland has...mysteriously disappeared (Xaphans fault!), the memory of Norland still lives on in the Norlanders who continue to seek a way to make a new Norland! As such, a paper about Norlanders, is named the newspaper of the memory. The paper is currently based in Barad Lacirith, Capital of Eston, where there is a current infestation of Norlanders. The main editor is Davendrall Felhand who also owns the newspaper as part of her business; The Cute Cookie Corporation. In her offices there are rows upon rows of mini desks. And in each one, is a rabbit. And in each rabbit's furry little paws is a pencil. And with that pencil, they have been trained to write. And thus this newspaper is written.

Adventures of one Drunk and her Rabbit

Also read the Adventures of one Drunk and her Rabbit, tales of the editors of this Newspaper, published by the Editors of this Newspaper available for your personal entertainment now!

Archives

• July 2010
• August 2010
• September 2010

This Month's Paper

Ask Anne the Agony Aunt
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• Dear Aunt Anne, there's this thief that keeps stealing my chickens and leaving their bloody entrails all over my field. Everyone else says it is a fox, but I think it is my neighbor. What should I do? -Gilbert
• Dear Gilbert, Kill his chickens - or livestock, or whatever it is that he has, and pour their blood on his doorstep. This is sure to put a stop that awful, disgusting behavior right away. - Anneliese
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• Dear Aunt Anne, there is a patch of land on my neighbor's field that he refuses to claim. Nothing grows on it, and every time the tax collector comes around he claims it's mine and that I am not taking care of it properly. My lord is a very angry man and I am too afraid to approach him to settle this matter. What should I do? -Anonymous
• Dear Anonymous, Kill the neighbor and bury his body in the infertile part. Something is sure to grow after that. - Anneliese
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• Aunt Anne, I think I have a drinking problem. Can you help me? - Anonymous
• Dear Anonymous, No. - Anneliese
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Xaphan accuses General Roland of being purposefully incompetent		Tuesday 26th October
Not long ago, Xaphan accused General Roland of purposefully sabotaging the war to rebuild Norland. Unfortunately, this was seen only by those in the Norlandic army, which means writing any sort of article about this would be pointless, unless I happened to attach a transcript to this newspaper's current issue: Transcript This, also, conveniently means that I won't have to write an impartial summary of events, and will instead have the pleasure of watching my scribe glare at me while she is forced to copy all those letters.
Editor: Anneliese

Drunken rabbits rampage through Melias!		Sunday 24th October
Warning! The upper part of Melias is infested with drunken rabbits. The local watch has issued a warning to all citizens to not enter that part of the region, due to fear of ravaging, or loss of innocence due to the highly drunken rabbits being more...frisky...than sober ones. The cause of this outbreak of drunken rabbits is currently unknown. Rumors have been circulating about a certain female Norlandish noble doing strange things in her estate. Well what I say to this, readers of the Newsrag. ITS LIES! ALL LIES! DO NOT BELIEVE THESE FANATICAL THEORISTS OF CONSPIRACIES! THEY ARE OUT TO GET YOU!
Editor: Davendrall

Knight Accidentally Banned		Friday 22th October
Every noble in Eston was sent into panic today when a knight by the name of Baldwin Scarlett was inexplicable banned "By the order of the king!" Much confusion resulted, with some fearing that Magistrate Athena had gone insane, or that she had somehow gained the gift of a seer's farsight and saw visions of crimes he had not yet committed. In the end, it was revealed that Sir Baldwin merely bore an unfortunate physical resemblance to the noble that was supposed to be banned: Herunumen of Umbar. Sir Baldwin was swiftly unbanned, and Herunumen banned - the latter of which threatened to stab us all afterwards.
Editor: Anneliese

War Is Over (Unfortunately)		Thursday 14th October
As you probably have noticed, we are no longer at war with Minas Ithil. There are various reasons for this (which I may get into later), but among the foremost is that every other realm in the southern alliance was planning to attack Eston. So, once again, Atamara has returned to its normal state of dreadful, boring peace. To quote our standing orders: Return to Eston. Tend to your crops, feed your sheep, sigh deeply as you watch your blades rust away.
Editor: Anneliese

Opening of a new brothel		Sunday 10th October
The Fantastic, the Wonderful, the Moving Brothel! Location: Elonias' Tent Time: All Hours It is my displeasure to report that there is yet another brothel opening in Eston, though this one has several unique features that makes it worthy of an article in the newsrag: It is a moving brothel; it currently in Elost and may soon be in Barad Riel. It is open at all hours And, finally the last and most unique feature: it is owned by a noble woman known as Davendrall Felhand, and its primary... ahem, employee is a peasant woman known as 'Elonias Myork'la'. She pretends to be a man, and refuses all men that come to her, and will only reveal herself to the man that can charm her clothes off.
Editor: Anneliese