Difference between revisions of "Muninn Newsrag"

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| width="40%" bgcolor="White" | '''Lead Editor: [[Felhand Family/Davendrall|Davendrall]]''' ([[User:X-anne-x]]) <br>'''Editor and Agony Aunt: [[Van_Dell_Family/Anneliese|Anneliese]]''' ([[User:Audacity]])
 
| width="40%" bgcolor="White" | '''Lead Editor: [[Felhand Family/Davendrall|Davendrall]]''' ([[User:X-anne-x]]) <br>'''Editor and Agony Aunt: [[Van_Dell_Family/Anneliese|Anneliese]]''' ([[User:Audacity]])
 
! width="30%" align="center" bgcolor="White" |Cost: 3 cookies  
 
! width="30%" align="center" bgcolor="White" |Cost: 3 cookies  
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!width="30%" align="right" bgcolor="White" |August 2010
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!width="30%" align="right" bgcolor="White" |September 2010
 
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*[[Muninn_Newsrag/July 2010|July 2010]]
 
*[[Muninn_Newsrag/July 2010|July 2010]]
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*[[Muninn_Newsrag/August 2010|August 2010]]
  
 
=This Months Paper=
 
=This Months Paper=
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|______________________________________
 
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|• Dear Aunt Anne, I think I am in love with this man, and I was going to tell him, but then he proposed to my sister. I feel confused and heartbroken and I don't know what to do - ''Tilly''
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|• Dear Aunt Anne, I have a birth mark of a rather...inappropriate shape... in a rather...awkward location. I am afraid to get close to anybody so I do not have to reveal it. It embarrasses me greatly. Do you know of any ways to solve my hilarious, yet shameful situation - ''Anneliese''
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|-
 
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|• Dear Tilly,
 
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I can't believe you can't see the obvious answer here. You need to kill your sister. With her dead, he's sure to settle for second-best. - ''Anneliese''
 
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|______________________________________
 
 
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|''Advertisement''
 
|''Advertisement''
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Any of you who weren't in Winwich to witness the duel may now witness through the view of brightly-colored paintings! Those of you that are terribly interested in seeing a crazy woman's underthings shall also enjoy this museum. Those of you that have lost clothing to Davendrall, ever had your pants pulled down in front of the judge, been utterly humiliated by being forced into cages and called a rabbit by Davendrall will also enjoy this museum, but for entirely different reasons.
 
Any of you who weren't in Winwich to witness the duel may now witness through the view of brightly-colored paintings! Those of you that are terribly interested in seeing a crazy woman's underthings shall also enjoy this museum. Those of you that have lost clothing to Davendrall, ever had your pants pulled down in front of the judge, been utterly humiliated by being forced into cages and called a rabbit by Davendrall will also enjoy this museum, but for entirely different reasons.
 
|editor= [[Van_Dell_Family/Anneliese|Anneliese]]
 
|editor= [[Van_Dell_Family/Anneliese|Anneliese]]
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}}
 
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{{MN_article
 
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|date=Monday 30th August 
 
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|title=Fiddleford Revolts (Again)
 
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|article= Fiddleford has once again declared independence from Eston, not long after the takeover. Those of you in Eston that weren't drunk and hallucinating have probably noticed that this has happened three or four times now. This, dear reader, causes this reporter to ask: What do we want with such revolting peasantry anyway? Can the peasantry be made to be less revolting?
 
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The first is a mysterious and unanswerable question, but the latter has a very simple solution, one that should have been tried by now. Every noble joining in the next takeover should take several bars of soap, and at least a barrel or more of liliac and lavender scented oils. The peasantry will then be far less revolting, <i>and</i> have a nice fresh scent!
 
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|editor= [[Van_Dell_Family/Anneliese|Anneliese]]
 
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}}
 
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{{MN_article
 
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|date=Tuesday 28th August 
 
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|title=Battle in Winham (We attacked something?)
 
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|article= A large force of Ithilthians caught Eston off guard in Winham, killing and scattering many units. Some nobles were wounded, some were taken hostage, but we can't be sure as to who was, as this reporter has only just realized this might qualify as 'news' a week after the event.
 
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Not long after this happened, the Eston troops in the regions surrounding Winham launched a counterattack, destroying every unit that hadn't spontaneously moved to Cantervern.
 
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|editor= [[Van_Dell_Family/Anneliese|Anneliese]]
 
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}}
 
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{{MN_article
 
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|date=Friday 6th August 
 
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|title=Norlandic Duel!
 
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|article= There has been much questioning, debate and general confusing recently about whether one particular Norlander, who wishes her name not to be revealed, is male or female. The discussions amongst the army, Blood Crazed Norland Loyalists, has lead to much petty squabbling and name calling. The guards in the local area have been keeping a eye on the ringleaders of this despicable behavior in case it got out of hand, which it did this morning. (The guards didn't do anything...they were just watching). As the Marshal of the army, the Squirrel Xaphan, continued with his pestering and abuse towards Davendrall...I mean...the unnamed female, calling her male names and claiming she was a plumber, she announced she would prove her gender to all who challenged it. And so, Xaphan challenged Davendrall to a duel, and this morning both took part in a naked Mud-Wrestle. The fight was gruesome, but in the end the squirrel claimed victory by smashing his opponent round the head with a conveniently attached Mangle. Nevertheless, Davendrall indeed proved she as female.
 
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Now they both face a spanking from the Judge as for some preposterous and unknown reason, Dueling is illegal in Eston. They both expect a fine, which again, is completely pointless as they will merely request more gold from other people.
 
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|editor= [[Felhand Family/Davendrall|Davendrall]]
 
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}}
 
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{{MN_article
 
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|date=Friday 6th August 
 
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|title=The Squirrly Marshal imprisoned!
 
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|article=After our single success in battle, the following battles ended in disaster for the Norlanders and the Barony. As our troops moved out and more Ithilian troops moved in, we were outnumbered, to the point that this afternoon the remaining troops in [[Dunstoke]] were mearly surrounded and arrested. Unfortunately for us the one that was arrested was our squirrel marshal Xaphan. But now the Ithilians face an even greater worry than several armies attacking them; their Dungeons are now infested with squirrels
 
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|editor= [[Felhand Family/Davendrall|Davendrall]]
 
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}}
 
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{{MN_article
 
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|date=Thursday 5th August 
 
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|title=Eston and the Barony of Makar attack Minis Ithil
 
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|article=Finally after many many months of sitting in Eston doing nothing, we finally move out to attack Minis Ithil! Then finally after spending many many days sitting around in random regions waiting to attack Minis Ithil, half of us run out of money, some loosing troops, and have to go back to the cities during the start of the attacks. Despite loosing the first battle in [[Dunstoke]] due to an unorganized two turn move, and the second battle, the most recent battle that took place this morning was a victory! The Rabid Squirrel Brigade of Norlanders (though officially part of Eston at the moment) were lead into battle valiantly by Sir Xaphan Squirrellypants wearing his Shinny Girdle of Command alongside the armies of the Barony of Makar. The weird and crazy battle cries of the Norlanders could be heard throughout Minis Ithil. The battle lasted many amounts of some form of time, but vastly outnumbed the armies of Minis Ithil fell and victory was ours! Now we get to loot! Yaaaayyy!
 
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|editor= [[Felhand Family/Davendrall|Davendrall]]
 
 
}}
 
}}
  
 
[[Category:Atamara]]
 
[[Category:Atamara]]
 
[[Category:Newspapers]]
 
[[Category:Newspapers]]

Revision as of 11:40, 3 September 2010

Hamster2.JPGMUNINN NEWSRAG Hamster2.JPG
Lead Editor: Davendrall (User:X-anne-x)
Editor and Agony Aunt: Anneliese (User:Audacity) 		Cost: 3 cookies September 2010

The Muninn Newsrag! The Newspaper about the glorious vikings of gloriousness of Norland! The Muninn Newsrag is named after Muninn, the owl of memory. This owl is owned by Odin, one of the Viking Gods of The Way of the Hammer. Although Norland has...mysteriously disappeared (but secretly we all know Xaphan forgot where he put it), the memory of Norland still lives on in the Norlanders who continue to seek a way to make a new Norland. As such, a paper about Norlanders, is named the newspaper of the memory. The paper is currently based in Barad Lacirith, Capital of Eston, where there is a current infestation of Norlanders. The main editor is Davendrall Felhand who also owns the newspaper as part of her business; The Cute Cookie Corporation. In her offices there are rows upon rows of mini desks. And in each one, is a rabbit. And in each rabbit's fury little paws is a pencil. And with that pencil, they have been trained to write. And thus this newspaper is written.

Adventures of one Drunk and her Rabbit

Also read the Adventures of one Drunk and her Rabbit, tales of the editors of this Newspaper, published by the Editors of this Newspaper available for your personal entertainment now!

Archives

This Months Paper


Ask Anne the Agony Aunt
______________________________________
• Dear Aunt Anne, I have a birth mark of a rather...inappropriate shape... in a rather...awkward location. I am afraid to get close to anybody so I do not have to reveal it. It embarrasses me greatly. Do you know of any ways to solve my hilarious, yet shameful situation - Anneliese
Advertisement
Leprechaun Wine.JPG
Pest Control.JPG
IMPORTANT EVENT - NEW MUSEUM! Wednesday 1st September
Dave Museum

Visiting hours: Sunset - Midnight

Location: Smeagenwulf's tent

Features forty two distinct depictions of Davendrall. Fifteen of those are in set called 'The Brawler' which depict the duel with Xaphan. Another set called 'from below' features lady Davendrall in different stages of undress from a lowered perspective. The last two are sketches of her in a murderous rage, but unfortunately, they are unfinished as Davendrall had at that point found Smeagenwulf's sketch artist hiding under her bed.

Any of you who weren't in Winwich to witness the duel may now witness through the view of brightly-colored paintings! Those of you that are terribly interested in seeing a crazy woman's underthings shall also enjoy this museum. Those of you that have lost clothing to Davendrall, ever had your pants pulled down in front of the judge, been utterly humiliated by being forced into cages and called a rabbit by Davendrall will also enjoy this museum, but for entirely different reasons.

Editor: Anneliese
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