Madigan Family/Dayne The Bastard Bard

Dayne The Bastard Bard

Also called, mostly by his own tongue, Dayne the Beautiful, Dayne the Dashing, and Dayne the Bold, the bastard of the Madigan Family followed his less ambitious brother Aurelius to Thalmarkin, hoping to profit in the Fifth Invasion.

Though adequate with a blade and exploring, Dayne is a skilled singer and lute player, gifted with flowery words and given to the simple pleasures in life. He wanders about the lands of Thalmarkin, singing and jesting for coin, deflowering maidens, and maintain an air of impenetrable idiocy.

The Songs of Dayne the Bard

The Overlady's Dilemma

Once my Overlord came to me

And said my dear, pray harken and see

A son I need, a priest he will be

To rescue me from lock and key.

So he hefted his spear and leapt astride

And with his paltry instrument trust inside

Scare a minute had passed or less besides

Til the Overlord finished his premature ride.

Now nine months later it was plain and clear

A little foul beast had grown in here

I asked for his name and was shocked to hear

"1st Son - of many to be born, my dear"

Now many years later and my body ails

You'd think after nine sons his ardor would fail

But my Overlord still lifts his tiny tail

To make those wicked sons to save him from jail.

How I wish I had a strong and handsome mate

Like King Fingolfin, the Fiercesome and Great

But instead I have this beastly husband I hate

With a great fat gut and a balding pate.

So gentlemen of the realm please harken to me

And listen to the Overlady, sad as can be:

You're all tired of these son, its plain to see

Well try bouncing NINE on your poor old knee.