Gymnistism/jack
B.L.C, the Deadites and County Jack of all Bubbevil the Prophet
County Jack of all Bubbevil is not actually a deity but merely the Chief Prophet of the Deadites dogma of Gymnistism. There had been a great argument between the Three Sister (note, not the TREE Sisters but the THREE Sisters and primal Godesses, namely Freedomia, Democratia and Lustia) about the legitimacy or not of the particular dogma as it refers to a pre-gymnitism entity that was worshiped in Ancient Times before even the Islands were emerged from the deep see (it was an underground cult). However during the debate between the Godesses, Justicia appeared and teamed up with Democratia supporting the Deadites in the name of Equity.
The Deadites are alternatively reffered as Cambellists, from the Ancient One B.L Campbell. It is said that the cult was formed in a (underground of course) cave some time ago. Reimond and two brothers of the Raimi kin were trapped in said cave and during their most desperate time, a man with a rotating swordlike arm, huge hair, a cowboy hat and a black mask blew up the cave with his mystical powers of the "Deadite" and rescued everyone. He then led them to a secluded area and handed them three tomes of great importance.
The first was a book bound in skin, that screamed upon ones touch. The man known at the time only as B.L.C beat the book to silence.
The second book seemed to be a book on how one was to make love in the eyes of B.L.C
And the third was the complete teachings and rants of this man.
The image of B.L.C leaving through the door, and his last words as he left are still burned into their minds to this day.
Reimond looked at the man. His presence was enough to bowl over that girl in the Pub who went there to flaunt here stuff for the sake of it. He started to leave through the door, slowly he walked, his heavy metal spinning blade arm acting as if it was normal, swinging and moving as any other would. With the exception of shredding anything that came close to pieces. He turned and smiled. "Remember boys, Shop Smart....Shop S Mart..." He then turned and started to leave, now at a quicker pace. Reimond's heart beated heavily, he was at the point where he didn't know if it was skipping a beat or not, Either way he was amazed and would have been happy to die here in his presence. "Sir...I-I mean M-My lord! Please...May we worship you?!"
His reply was no answer in essence, simply an affirmation of his awesome presence. He simply turned and in a deep voice that could destroy babies he said "Groovy..." and he left through the door. His presence still felt in the room. Reimond and the Raimi brothers looked at eachother for some time and after the initial shock was over, they read the books, many times, cover to cover, and decided to follow him. They decided to follow B.L Campbell, the book had revealed all.
Lornements:
I: Thou shalt not upstage B.L.C, however impossible a feat as such may be. II: Thou Shalt not mention B.L.C in the same sentence with any of these dieties. -Carrot Top -Dane Cook -Oprah -Dr. Phil -Martha Stewart -Any of the Presidentialites heretics with the exception of The God of Jazz/Blues- Cill Blinton -Scott Stapp Any mentions of these in the same sentence will be met with severe reprimandment.
III: The fifth day of the week is when all followers must visit The Cabin to pray. IV: Affirmations of B.L.C's teachings are to be met with a "Groovy" V: Greetings to fellow Deadites must be said as "Claptu Verratta Nipto"
