Atamara Times/7th Edition

By: Erasmus Episcopus	News from all of Atamara!	7th Edition

---

Editorial: With the new edition of Atamara Times we welcome, Eric Keithson of Minas Ithils to the staff. Hopefully he will bring in many interesting stories and articles from the cold north. We would still like more reporters like him from every realm of Atamara and hope this is just the beginning to an even more glorious Atamara Times. Again in this edition we will have to postpone the article about the Pancakes of Minas Ithil. Perhaps Eric will be able to gather the information needed for the article. We are also sad we did not have a man to send to the tournament in Azzal. Hopefully you will survive without the report. We all hope you will enjoy what we bring you. Yours, Erasmus Episcopus Tournament in Shanandoah A special report of the tournament held in Minas Ithil, Eric Keithson reporting: Shannandoah (MI)- With the Minas Ithil tournament held so close on the heels of the wildly successful Ash Sea Island tournament, many nobles from all realms where wondering if King DeadAngel3 had, perhaps, mis-stepped in the planning and timing of the event. However, King DeadAngel was vindicated in the long run with a profit of over 4000 gold from this tournament. Within a day of the end of the tournament and with the gold turned over to His Majesty, King DeadAngel promised to do several family investments in order to redistribute the gold among all the nobles of Minas Ithil who donated their tax money to holding the tournament. During this tournament, many beers where hoisted and many a noble made toasts to the rulers of the varied realms, but unfortunately, High Marshal (ASI) Doc's Revenge seemed to think that the amount of alcohol was woefully under maintained and unfilling. His body was saved from the uncomfortable state of soberitity by the timely arrival of the Arch Priest (ASI) Moses and Doc's Revenge's "secret stash". Moses spent many an hour in the bars of Shanandoah trying to restore Doc's Revenge to the bliss of drunkenness that Doc's Revenge so enjoys. But the main event was fast approaching and all the nobles where doing last minute training adjustments, which is where this reporter caught up with a "noble" of a new family - Thruk. When asked what he was doing, the reply was this; "Thruk bash heads here. Thruk practice hard so Mother Thruk be proud of Thruk." One of the more colorful events at this tournament was the arrival of Tank, founder of the Black Mamba's, who had this to say to inform all the nobles present, (and perhaps to drum up some business); "Remember the Black Mamba, if you ever need that bloody enemy ruler taken out, or you want to get rid of some judge who tortured you, or just that jerk from your realm, or you feel your king is bad for your realm... Remember us, and we'll remember you. And we welcome more infiltrators, and more counts to help us expand. Contact me if you want info. And spread the." In a curious turn of events, an influential relative of King Dead Angel3 had to leave the tournament early! In a move that has some disturbing consequences, Duke (Eston) Dead Angel WG was forced to leave the tournament for a short time. Upon re-arrival, Dead Angel was reluctant to speak about the circumstances surrounding his departure, but this enterprising reporter managed to discern the truth, (albeit through numourse toast to the good health of King Dead Angel, King willy and the whole of Eston's council) Barad Riel was put under siege by the allied armies of Barony of Maker and Norland! This latest news, combined with Eston's seeming inability to finish the Allied Armies off, has lead to speculation that Eston is actually losing their war, but most pundits agree that it's most likely cause is the lack of Darkian support. As the tournament went on, almost all the nobles where eliminated, but all stayed to see who won. Here I now list the names and titles of the two winners and the two nobles who placed second: In Sword fighting: 1st Place: Sir Kronos, Arch Priest of Carelia, Duke of Strombran 2nd Place: Sir Herumor, Arch Priest of Darka, Baron of Mnt. Sinclair, Marshal of the army of Bisquez (and one of the longest titles I've ever seen!) In Jousting: 1st: Sir Vulcan, Royal Treasurer of Falasan, Duke of Barad Falas 2nd: Gregor, Count of Lyton The following are excerperts from the EXCLUSIVE interviews with the Sword fighting champions: Atamara Times: Did you expect to win this tournament? Sir Kronos: To be honest, no, i was hoping for the jousting contest as I’ve been in the past to the final. Still i was expecting a good ranking in the swordfighting too. AT: There have been some complaints over the years that the Academies are very slow to train in and closed all the time, what is your opinion of this and/or how did you overcome this in order to win? Kronos: This is true .I don’t believe in the academies and i avoid to be trained there. I do it only when i have nothing else to do or in times of peace. Still, if it wasn’t the battlefield, i would never have been here! If you want my opinion, forget the academies and go for the real thing! Atamara Times: About how long did it take you from your first tournament until you won/placed second your first one? Sir Herumor: I don't remember exactly but I think at the 3rd tourney I attended to I finished as 2nd. AT: There have been some complaints over the years that the Academies are very slow to train in and closed all the time, what is your opinion of this and/or how did you overcome this in order to get second place? Herumor: Well, Eric, to be honest, I don't understand those people who complain. These days, everyone thinks everything can go faster and better, but due to their stress to achieve something they make more errors. It took me months of training in Saler (...) to learn to swordfight properly, but it was the right thing. Swordfighting isn't something you learn [overnight], it is a hard process of training which leads you one day to the result you wish. That is my secret to become a good swordfighter. Atamara Times: Did you expect to win this tournament? Sir Vulcan: Yes, of course. At least the jousting part is where I always expect victory. AT: What will you do with the prize money? Vulcan: I have usually split the price money between my family and my realm. Atamara Times: There have been some complaints over the years that the Academies are very slow to train in and closed all the time, what is your opinion of this and/or how did you overcome this in order to get second place? Gregor: I have never trained at the academies. My experience has come solely from the battlefield and training at tournaments. I understand training low levels is quite easy at academies but there is a point of diminishing returns where gaining just a bit more skill requires hundreds of gold. AT: What are you planning on doing to get even better? Gregor: Nothing different. I will serve my country. I will continue to pit my skills on the field of battle among Minas Ithil's brave men. Tournaments are nice when they come along but I miss more then I make because of my duty to this great land. I am no tournament specialist but a warrior. All of the champions are humble to a fault and worthy of the fame their victories have brought them, but not all nobles have those traits. After the tournament, as bets where settled and opponents from the tournament reunited, Paradigm, boasting after the tournament said this; "I hate Kronos to the guts..." One would have thought that getting beaten by the champion in the third round would have put a damper on Paradigm's mouth, but one would be mistaken (as anyone who has been in any sort of open space with an Atamaraian nobles, you know that they love to argue about anything from Da Goat to Abington finally putting down the peasant revolt in Suville). As the argument grew louder and more boisterous, more nobles came by to add their opinions to the mess. Finally, King Dead Angel3 had enough and ordered the City Guard to restore order and expel the noble Paradigm from the city limits. With the troublemaker gone, the other nobles soon packed up their belongings, winnings and new souvenirs for the long trek back to their home realms. It was, all in all, a wonderful tournament and the turnout was placed at 175 nobles from 13 separate realms. Considering the tournament that Ash Sea Island through about a week prior to this one, not a bad turnout. It was, however, slightly marred by the quarrel between Paradigm and Kronos about past actions and deeds. Putting that incident aside, the tournament was a success! EK Snakes and intrique in Darka Some weeks ago rumours came out from Darka that the old darkan veteran and hero Vinnie Van Eylen had been banned for high treason and only barely escaped Darka alive. This indeed promised a good story, after some investigation Atamara Times has managed unveil all and have even made exclusive interviews with the involved parties. It turns out that it all started with an overambitious, intriguer Ice Beam. In the beginning Ice did well as a darkan bureaucrat. After half a year he had managed to become Marquis of Rantire and only 3 months later he advanced to duke. But then it seemed he grew fat and greedy in his glory. He demanded more but as he set his eyes on the post of Arch Priest of Darka he forgot to look after his duchy. He tried to denounce the reigning Arch Priest of Darka, Herumor, publicly but failed completely as the Herumor showed everyone his incompetence in maintaining regions. The result was Ice got fined twice and threatened with a ban if he did not behave and work properly again. Apparently Ice did not understand the message and with his entourage of a few young nobles started to attack Herumor for every action he took as Arch Priest by constant protests. But with the help of influential nobles Herumor managed to weather the storm until the Darkan King, Murat Orim, cut through as the argument as the intrigue was beginning to influence their war whit Talerium. This put an end to the fighting as both parties calmed down and Ice started to do his job and even softsoap Herumor. But this was not the end of the matter. Some time later word came from Rebel, Grand Justiciar of the enemy Talerium, that he feared for his colleague’s life. Under a torture after a battle it was discovered Vinnie had forwarded messages between Ice and his infamous brother Tank of Falasan. Tank is the founder of the shady assassinations guild, Black Mamba and it turned out that Ice was hiring them to assassinate Herumor. Vinnie even had fragments of the correspondence and Atamara Times is proud to be able to bring copies of these here: letter from Tank: Because of the additional risks, I'd ask 250 gold for the job done, if it is succesful. Know you pay not only to get someone taken out, but also for privacy, as your name will be kept secret under all circumstances. reply from Ice: Hm 250 gold, I should say this is a deal. I hope my name will be never heard and kept in privicy 4-ever! reply from Tank: The money must be transferred within one week after Herumor has been taken out, and has to be sent to Vinnie. I trust you that Vinnie will get the money in time, Ice. If not, you will notice the Black Mamba is more powerful than you had expected. reply from Ice: I sparing at this time to get all your gold in time to your brother Vinnie. I won't dear the Black Mamba, Tank will get his money in time ;) Btw, Herumor don't torture that much, almost never. Is this a deal? 250 gold for stabbing herumor? Btw when will he be stabbed? This obviously resulted in a ban of Ice but also of Vinnie as he had relayed the messages. So far we have not been able to get in contact with Ice as he has fled to Beluaterra. Vinnie we have talked to in his asylum in Drachenwald. He is in good mood though he obviously is bit remorseful of his brother Tank and Ice for dragging him into the intrigue. He says he trusted them and claims to have been totally unaware of the contents of the letters. We also managed to get a brief comment from Tank, the leader of the Black Mamba. He is sorry for Vinnie but do not think he or the Black Mamba has done anything wrong. He feels it is Ice that has messed up. Later we managed to get an exclusive interview with Tank about the Black Mamba and as it might be the last interview anyone will ever get we will bring it here in its full length. You will notice Tank is as dodgy in answering as he is as an infiltrator: Atamara Times: Well then how is it going for the Black Mamba? Tank: Quiet, but all right. I've been promoting it at the past 3 tournaments. AT: Yes I have noticed. Any results? Tank: Well, I didn't expect much direct result. The purpose was to make it known to the wide world. I figure that quite worked. And I had a few new members lately, and I have hope to have another guildhouse built soon. AT: Where do you have guild houses btw? Tank: Picnu, Winwich and Leohampton. AT: Don't you think that is a fairly restricted range? Tank: It is, but like I said, we're working on it. We have infiltrators from far more than that area, but just not guildhouses. But I hope to change that sooner than you might expect. AT: Where are you hoping to get the new guild house? Tank: You will find out when it's there :) AT: Have you considered paying region lords to build you guild houses? Tank: Yes, I have. So far, all regional lords that joined have financed it themself. AT: You could also threaten them into building have you considered that an option? Tank: I prefer to keep our region lords friendly. AT: Have you so far had any successful assignments carried out? Tank: We haven't, but we aren't actively looking either. First things first, and for now we need more guildhouses before anything. That doesn't mean you can't contact us, but we're definately not fully operational. AT: So you have not been involved in the judge assassination attempts in Darka or Caligan Empire? Tank: I can't confirm nor deny that, for now. AT: But you personally got the blame for the Darka one Tank: Blame for what? AT: The incedent that lead to the banning of Ice and your brother Vinnie Tank: It's a sad thing. Ice tried to contact us, but didn't know where to address me. So he asked my brother to forward letters, but he ended up tortured. Sad enough, but it has little to do with Black Mamba. AT: Well we have already talked about your brother so I will not go further into that. I have heard rumours that the price you offered to take out Herumor was quite low Tank: Rumours are fun. Who would I be to kill them? AT: What is your "normal" price for an assignment? Tank: We don't have a normal price. It depends on the target. You can always make us an offer. As soon as we are more or less set up, I plan to come up with prices on our guildhouses public board. Those prices will depend on the realm mostly, and will be some sort of "general" prices. It doesn't mean they have to always be followed, but they will be most of the time. Realms that are nice to us and treat our infiltrators well will have higher prices, so they won't be hit as often as other realms. Realms that piss us and it is likely to include some personal Mamba enemies, as well. AT: I also hear you yourself has been attacked by another infiltrator. What do you think about such a thing? Tank: I have indeed been attacked. What I think about it? Well, one can only try. AT: Are you planning a revenge? Tank: He is a brave man for trying. He didn't even get past my guards, so maybe he's stupid. Stupid, but still brave. I'm not planning any revenge on this one, no. AT: Do you have any standards as an infiltrator you have to pass before you can join the Black Mamba? Tank: Not really. Of course, we don't use unskilled infiltrators. But quite some of them join, and then continue their training. We won't send unskilled infiltrators on dangerous missions, but they're welcomed to join. AT: How long do you think it will take before you are able to easily cover all of Atamara? Tank: As soon as possible. AT: How long would that be? Tank: I can stab everyone on Atamara, but I can't predict the future. AT: Ah but what is you current expedition rate? Tank: You're just rewording the same question. AT: Of course but there is a slight difference in the question. In the latter I was asking to your efficiency at the moment. Tank: All right then. I can't predict the future, but I can take out everyone on Atamara. AT: When you are hired is it then just one attack or do you promise the requested result? Tank: It comes down to the same, but we promise a result. AT: Ok, I am starting to run out of questions but I would like to ask one last. If for instance you where to take out a ruler how much would that cost? Fx the Falasan? Tank: Like I said, in the future we'll have general prices for each realms, and such, publicly on the guild board. For now, you will have to negotiate for every case. I can't answer it just like that. AT: Ok, now I come to think of it I have just one more. Will you take sides in wars without payment? Take fx the possible coming war Falasan might end up in. Tank: We don't take sides without reasons. We won't take side because we believe one side is better than another, but maybe one side pisses us off. We aren't necessarily the holy neutrality. Ok, then I think, I have enough to a nice little article. Thank you for your time. Tank: You're welcome. And you're one lucky journalist to have an interview from me. In a few weeks I will once more become an infiltrator, and I won't be seen anymore in the light. Maybe I'll let something know one day, I don't doubt you'll pick it up then. AT: You are always welcome to leave little anonymous notes at the AT office. EE Wars of Atamara One afternoon after a battle in Mattlu terrified spectators could see Khorne of Talerium step up and address the enemy. “All of this talk of civility makes me sick. Lets face fact, we both hate each other. So why be civil to each other? I say we just kill each other and drink to the others death. Now that sounds like a plan in fact I will take a drink right now.” Then he slowly drained the blood from a dead Darkan soldier body into his goblet. “Darka I raise my goblet to you. May you continue to provide me with drink (blood), meat (flesh), trophies (bones and skulls) and a reason to kill.” This said Khorne tips his goblet and lets the blood flow into his mouth. It is stores like this that makes one be thankful the war between Darka and Talerium has come to an end. At the moment only the battle of the north is still going on. All other hostilities on Atamara has calmed down. But the northern war is fierce enough as it is. Only weeks ago rumours talked of massive looting parties from Eston deep in Barony of Makar and Norland. This has though turned out to be not true as Sordnaz, dictator of Barony of Makar, informs us: “We have been looting Eston since day one of this war and we are still looting almost every turn. The question you should ask is why Eston who looked upon looting as a barbaric act done by savages without honour have abandon their path and turned themself into doing what they considered an act of pagans. When in comes to "deep into BoM" I must laugh, they did step over our border only to get 75% of their forces chrushed by our militia. They did win that battle to a higher price then any looting spree done by them could ever do. Lets face it, Eston know how to loot but they are not what I would call skilled in the fine art.” It would indeed look like he is right as Norland have managed to gain control over Fiddleford where most of the fighting have taken place. But it might be that we will soon see yet another full scale war on Atamara. Rumours speak of Cagilan Empire hiring Darka for an attack on another realm. Which realm this is one can only guess but a good one would be either Falasan or Drachenwald be course of the Tarasac dispute. Most would think that Cagilan Empire would be able to handle Drachenwald on their own but so far Falasan have been willing to help defend Drachenwald. Falasan on the other hand would be an equal opponent for Cagilan Empre and they would probably not attack them without help. As tension and armies thus build up along the Cagilan-Drachenwaldian border, speculations are circulating on other allies. Tara has long been under the protection of Cagilan Empire and it would be obvious for the Tarans to join in and see if they can retake their realm birthplace, Tarasac. Tara Times even reported that Cagilan Empire wanted to hand over Avrende to Tara, something that would greatly help in retaking Tarasac, but this was later dismissed. If Tara join the war it is most likely that Ash Sea Islands would pick up the war again that halved Tara and drove them back to Foda. But it is also likely that Ash Sea Islands will help their ally Falasan anyways. It is more doubtful what, another old ally of Falasan and Ash Sea Islands, Minas Ithil would do, as they would be far away from the actual fighting and so far have stayed calm. The recent alliances between Carelia and RadSpan could mean. If RedSpan decides to join in on the fun against Falasan then Abington is likely to respond and draw Carelia into it also. Then we would have a full scale world war on Atamara. Only realm that you cannot tell what will do is Talerium. They are allied to Cagilan Empire and have recently ended the war with Darka but the only realm that actively helped them in that war was Drachenwald. So if Drachenwald enters the war Talerium might find themselves in a dilemma. But this is just a worst case scenario. It is most likely that the potential war will just be between 4-5 realms and be fairly even. One thing is sure though; the coming weeks will be very interesting. EE

Atamaran Pasquinade Contest Over the next month that is to the 15th of November, you can send you pasquinade to HA. At the end of the contest we will then declare a winner. You can write anything about anybody or –realm as long as it is from Atamara. We highly encourage all to taunt or smear all rulers. The grand price of the contest will be a lifetime membership of HA, a year supply of itching powder and whoopie cushion and immunity from Xinghai Black Ninja Sheep*. Of course you cannot expect to win with the standard: “Manaydur looks like the arse of Da Goat!” For once it would not be an insult to any other than the goat. Secondly it would not be intelligent enough. You would get a lot further with: You’d think they were a decent lot But Darka are a laughing stock ’Course Horror-mum has named them all Easy, Dune and Duo Claud’ Ho hum the tune is dumb The words don't muck a King Isn't this a silly song For anyone to sing? Celebrity news After a totally failed tournament in Ser´quea Vulcan the Escalator of Falasan found the right spark and erupted in brilliance and victory in the Shanandoah and Azzal. In an intimate moment with Whitti Whitti he confessed he had found himself not long after the tournament. “One day” he said” I woke up in the morning and threw off the blanket and there I was!” Only yesterday Achilles of Tara fell into a river from a bridge he was walking on. “It was the most curious think” he said afterward: “one minute I was walking peacefully the next someone grabbed me by the heel and threw me in.” Black Sheep Spotted Over the past weeks black sheep has been spotted in both Darka and Cagilan Empire. Some even say they have seen them attacking the judges of the two realms. HA have announced one of their three goals is to replace all rulers on Atamara with sheep. HA has put the Black Ninja Sheep into training but will not confirm nor deny what they are up to. But all rulers should be careful. Actually we would advice them to step down. O Blackest sheep, O Blackest sheep! You finest of all ninjas! We kill them all that stand so tall Against the one true mighty call O Blackest sheep, O Blackest sheep! You finest of all ninjas! * Do not apply to rulers. Advertisement: Writers The Atamara Times are still looking for journalists, correspondents and informers. Only requirements are a sound drive and a high standard of objectiveness. To apply to the position please require at the Atamara Times’ office or send a message to the editor.