Ikkies soup

Before the battle in Abykal against Iglavik

Boswick said :

What is it I see coming over the horizon in a cage?

My sergeant has reported to me that Little Ogre has been kept in a cage and not fed ever since his last hunting meal of 4 Ikalak soldiers. Anyway, time to rally the troops with the old cowbell.

As I ring the cowbell I open his cage and hand him a spiked club I yell "Dinner is served Little Ogre!!!!".

I'll follow him into battle and hack apart anything that remains on the way!!! I suggest you all do the same in Abykal!

Here, I need to explain what Little Ogre did with the spiked club.

The battle at Abykal

After the battle

will said :

Little Ogre did you slip and bump your head while eating the ikkie meat? or did a lucky ikkie hit with his weapon ?

Little Ogre answered :

Me tried to eat what Boswick gave me. Me thought was a leg. In my mouth was pain. Me was bleeding. Me was eating spiked club. Me was too hungry.

Boswick

It appears that Boswick's strategy of starving Little Ogre before a major battle was a complete failure. Not only had Ogre mistaken the spiked club for a leg when he handed it to him, he had tried to eat it and got himself wounded in the process. Boswick needed the "talents" of Little Ogre but how could he use them? Sleeping on a large mat at the entrance to Boswick's tent at night was perfect for his security needs but he had to put him to use in battle. Nothing inspired Sandalak's men and demoralized the Ikkies more than to see a soldier of Ikalak eaten alive before them. An evil grin appeared on Boswick's face as he summoned his personal chef to his tent. "My chef...Bring me the largest meat cleaver you can find along with a full flask of hot sauce!" Boswick stroked his chin and thought to himself "Problem Solved!!!"

Few days later...

Boswick

The prize Boswick had been chasing for months was finally his. George and Boswick were surveying the fortifications of Sandalak's newest territory. "I will have to compliment Lorien on what a nice job he did of fixing them up for us." The inauguration ceremony was now complete and George was heading down to hold court for the first time which left Boswick with a few minutes of his own. What would he do with his first chance to relax in months?

Nothing could make him more happy then taking his little Ogre for a walk through the streets of Abykal. Although Little Ogre needed no leash it made quite the impression to have him take off at full speed intent on eating a suspicious looking peasant only to be yanked back(taking all of Boswick's strength) at the last second.

Little Ogre was looking a little depressed and may have suffered some indigestion after forgetting to remove the armour off of his last meal or maybe it was the hot sauce. Anyway a nice little tune might calm him down.

"It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a wonderful day in the neighborhood for me and my Little Ogre. We'll go to the park and have some fun and jump out of the bushes and watch the peasants run, me and my Little Ogre."

The first verse of that song would always get him smiling and Boswick knew that today was a good day!

Andross complain about hot sauce

Lord Boswick...

I believe that the Sandalak Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Ogres (the SSPCO) has passed a law preventing the use of hot sauce to produce intestinal upset and the resulting toxic waste for the production of Weapons of Mass Destruction, (WMD's) to be used against any enemy realm. This is clearly a "Grave Breach" of the Ibyp convention. Article 3 of the WAR ISLAND "Laws of Armed Conflict" clearly states the following: "Any Ogre, Griffon or Tax sucking Infiltraitor, May NOT be fed any spicy sauces to produce Toxic Waste for use in Battle."

Any breach of this law, grave or minor, will result in said offender being forced to clean up the mess with out benefit of personal protective equipment, such as masks or gloves.

So clearly Lord Boswick, to prevent you from having to deal with this in the future, I request that you refrain from your intended course of action, and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD...DROP THE HOT SAUCE!!! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!

Boswick answer

Thank you for bringing up me to date on the current Environment Codes Andross. I know better to piss off the environmentalists. I do however happen to have a supervisor of sanitation in Ibyp itself who could probably do wonders and put their fears at rest. "Phear, where are you?"

As far as cruelty to Ogres I have decided to add a large sticker/banner to the back of all of our siege engines to encourage understanding and support for Ogres, Griffons and Tax Sucking Infils as you say(no offense Aesurrin and others). I am an equal opportunity Ogre employer and in no way want anyone to think I dont like them. I am very proud of my ogre as my sticker/banner shows:

"MY OGRE IS AN HONOR STUDENT AT THE IKKIE EATING ACADEMY!"

Andross

My thanks for taking us Ogre huggers into account...it has been noted and you are now an honourary Ogre Hugger. Let me be the first to say congradulations my Lord. On a brighter note, I just pulled this off of a destroyed Ikalak siege engine I passed while on route to the front...

"MY SON WAS AN IKKIE APPETIZER AT THE SANDALAK CULINARY ACADEMY!"

Aesurrin

How about a small sticker under that :

INFILTRATORS DO IT FROM BEHIND

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Thanks to every players who participate, because without you, Little Ogre wouldn't be so funny !

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