The Free South Times/Issue:2

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The Free South Times
Cost: We're a low budget paper, so we must charge 1 gold per issue. Editors-in-Command: Amekal and Hireshmont Vellosspace Volume: 2
The Only Newspaper in the Southlands!
  • THE newspaper for the most recent updates on the south!
  • Disclaimer: This paper DOES NOT represent the official opinions of the Irombrozian government, merely a general accounting for the public, or just of the editors.

Insults to our Queen!

August 9, 1006- I am DISGUSTED by Luz de Bia. We tried to show cordiality and respect for them, not breaching any treaties, not offering any insult, and letting them take as much time as possible. Then, Nhoc made SEXUAL ADVANCES ON QUEEN BAIKO! The filth-ridden scum-sucking bag of, well, I wont say, seeing as there may be ladies or young children reading this. We in Irombrozia do not tolerate molestation, though it seems such things are accepted in Luz de Bia. Then, not only this, but a treaty was violated! Gorian led a unit of SIXTY CAVALRYMEN! Almost 1000 CS! He took them right into Bolkenia. While in Bolkenia, some of his cavalrymen, according to some witnesses I have been since unable to locate, decided to try and imitate their ruler, and, word has it, nearly got into her tent(attempt to kidnap perhaps?)! Those SICK SPAWNS OF WHO KNOWS WHAT. First they insult the dignity of possible the most beautiful lady to ever live and surely a great Queen, THEN they invade our territory, THEN they insist on continuing the insult! If its just a trade mission, WHY HAVE A NEAR-TAKEOVER UNIT ACCOMPANY IT!? Not only this, but the fact but not one, but TWO Luz de Bian infiltrators were present in Bolkenia when Marc was assassinated. The Cavalrymen were chased into Cagamir, and will be sternly reprimanded. If they make any attempt to resist being chastised verbally(which I intend to do quite aggressively! I shall approach them with my men, and chastise them most animatedly! I may even bust a move on them and shake my finger at them, or perhaps shout.) then they will be arrested and SPANKED. Yes, its true. We will SPANK THEIR VILE BOTTOMS. This nation we so hoped to have cordial relations with is SORELY trying our patience. Is there no nation with guts enough to get that vile PERVERT, Nhoc, to stop his sexual games? What about you, Enweil? Do you have the courage to say a word to Luz de Bia? Is the international community reacting to this insult? They first invaded our lands and assaulted us at unawares, and were only deterred when their general(may he rest in peace and honor which his ruler lacks) died needlessly. Then they delayed negotiations still further, and insulted our queen in a very, very sick and twisted manner. THEY ASKED FOR HER TO POSE NAKED FOR THEM AS A MEANS OF "NEGOTIATION"! Since when was sexual exploitation considered negotiation? After they delayed negotiations, they broke a treaty they themselves wrote, and entered our lands. While there, they AGAIN insulted our Queen and, according to said witnesses, may have intended a kidnapping. Lets hope they can at least respond to a good polite reprimand.

Assassination!

August 6, 1006- In the past few days, a number of TLs have been assaulted, namely, myself, Amekal, my half-brother, Hireshmont, a void in, and now, King Marc! This is an outrage! When the culprit is found, he or she WILL be punished! In the ensuing elections, Baiko was elected our new queen, actually tying Slomcha, but it was declared her victory, and Slomcha didn't want to be Queen. Maye your reign be long and prosperous, Queen Baiko the Beautiful! Hireshmont was elected Arch Priest as well, may he discharge his duty with honor and virtue.

Updates!

August 5, 1006- Both editors have been away for a while, it seems! So, here's the news: Luz de Bia, SEEMS uncooperative, and their infiltrators have pillaged Bolkenia a bit, and assaulted me, Amekal Vellos, in Bolkenia, seriously wounding me. Let us hope this is a rogue infiltrator, not a prelude to war. Also, a small detachment of Irombrozian troops(less than 500 CS) was butchered in Ruefillo when they took a wrong turn at a road junction. In response to these things, King Marc (May He Live Forever) has decided to send a policing detachment to Bolkenia, to catch any infiltrators encroaching on our lands. Now, in all this, our goodly banker was absent. He took foreign leave, and was abdicated, to be replaced by Torrero. These are tumultuous times.... oh, also, peace was established with Old Grehk, and, um, maybe Sint? The exact diplomatic details escape me...

Kindred Spirits From Afar

July 26, 1006- A peace treaty has been signed between Irombrozia and Heen due to their similar births. Both were formed by secession for the benefit of the people of the duchy, and its nobles, due to the abuse by the larger national government. It seems Latlan also seceded, ending the merger between Vice and Varyamo Nolvo. In these two secessions, Varyamo Nolvo has been reduced to 2 regions, Heen has 5 I believe, and Vice has 3. These are chaotic times in the western deserts...

A Party Gone Wrong

July 25, 1006- Earlier today, total catastrophe struck. As approcimately 2k CS of Luzian troops hung out around Bolkenia, and about 3k CS Irombrozian troops, one unit of Luzians showed undue aggression. As our men were drinking and reveling, the Luzian archer formation gathered up. Our men came out of their tents, groggy and confused. Arrows flew thick and fast among them. Then the Luzian infantry formed up and charged. Luckily for our forces, we ended up outpowering them. One foolish unit sparked a battle, killing scores, wounding many more, killing some peasants and damaging the already fragile region. If this is not bad enough, it was learned after the battle of great catastrophe. Our High Marshall, Slomcha, was wounded, as was one of our beurocrats, a void in. The Luzian TL Vlaeid(sorry if I butchered your name) was also wounded. Latronis, our Vice General, took command as Marc patrolled the scene of the catastrophe. Then the great tragedy was learned, the truly terrible story of the day. Sir Harim, Minister of Defense of Luz de Bia, Count of Ardmore, and Marshall of the Army of Jidington, was found dead on the field. ALl round him were bodies punctured by arrow and sword. While he felled men left and right with his mighty bow, he was gradually dragged under, though not without a fight as he killed more of our brave soldiers with his blade. In a battle that should never have happened, in a region that was not yet contested, during negotiations for lasting peace, a brave warrior, a hero and noble, has fallen. Though some may have disagreed with this or that philosophical leaning, there are none who can say Sir Harim died less than a hero, there are none who can say that he was less than an icon of bravery in battle. His death is regrettable, and this paper prays it will not come between Irombrozia and Luz de Bia in the ensuing negotiations.

Drills

July 24, 1006- Today, High Marshall Slomcha the Brave ordered the army to move out to Bolkenia. Set to defensive so we would not engage the Luz de Bians there, of course. For our part, we have extended cordiality to the Luz de Bians, though few to no return messages have come our way. All the same, drinks are paid for by the Irombrozian Department of Treasury. This drill follows with the vigorous and active persona we have all come to associate with our good general Slomcha.

High Marshall Appointed!

July 23, 1006- Today is a great day for Irombrozia! Slomcha was appointed High Marshall, to lead our armies in glorious battle which Qyrvagg smiles upon. HAIL IROMBROZIA! HAIL KING MARC (May He Live Forever)! HAIL SLOMCHA!

Updates!

July 22, 1006- Well, Rii fell within a day, because it was already being TOed. Discussions are going on within Irombrozia, and with other realms, on what our future shall be, weather we will be able to negotiate for lands, or have to fight for them. Just recently, I, Hireshmont Vellos, was made Royal Treasurer by King Marc, May He Live Forever. Thank you MArc, lets hope our fair realm can be kept running!

SECESSION OF THE GOLDEN LEGACY!

July 16, 1006- In a remarkable move, Prime Minister Delvin, following heightening tensions and treasonous comments by Duke, now King, Marc (May He Live Forever), REVOKED Duke Marc's claim to nobility. Following this Duke Marc purchased the lordship of Irombro. Exact details are unknown but it seems Marc purchased the city TWICE with saved up cash. EDITORIAL COMMENT: Only an idiot like Delvin could presume to challenge the claim of a KEITHSON to nobility. The Keithson family is renown far and wide, respected, beloved, or hated, but ALWAYS as nobility. Anyways, back to the data: following this, Duke Marc seceded to form Irombrozia, and named himself King Marc(May He Live Forever). EDITORIAL COMMENT: THE GOLDEN LEGACY OF IROMBRO IS REVIVED!!! We shall right the wrongs done by the treasonous Rines Republic. Over scores of years they have gradually oppressed us southerners. THE UNION OF RIOMBARA IS ENDED. The Grehkian lands are in Luz de Bian hands, and Irombro has seceded, once again becoming independent and autonomous. Fwuvoghor has fallen and been given to Enweil, and the AThol Margos, former home of the ATHOL COLLECTIVE, which waged long and toilsome war with the Rines Republic, is the only of these southern city states still allied with the Rines Republic. Riombara is a mockery of the name. The Union is ended.