Asgard Informer/Issue Ten
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| Price: 1 silver coins | 
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Main editors: Xaphan, Smeagenwulf |
 Are we Vikings sobering up?
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| by Xaphan Vanimedle |
| July, 2009 |
| To an uninformed bystander it may seem we Viking's are sobering up, dropping the bottle in exchange for logic and reasoning. But our dear Konungr has worked quickly and decisively to ensure each and every civilised foreigner and confused Viking knows that Norland shall not be decreasing its Blood/Alcohol levels, he was recorded saying this:
"My Viking comrades, foreigners not yet thrown into a cage with Mr Squeakers, I have heard many a disturbing thing in conjunction with my recent peace talks, Yeti's painting their nails, Squirrels rebelling and even our own Viking pups seem to be shaving and drinking less. So I think it my duty to inform you that, there is no reason to panic! no reason to sober up! This peacetime may be traumatic for everyone, but, the fastest way to recovery is at the end of a yard glass, and a summary punching of a foreign national in a drunken rage, sparking an international war; so let us all once again pile into the breweries and storehouses of peasants and drink Norland dry! |
| Apparently not
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| by Xaphan Vanimedle |
| July, 2009 |
| After recent governmental fears about the drink culture of Norland, much faith was restored in the public after a young Viking noble, blind and enraged by Crunchy Squirrel Head Ale and a spot of sticky chutney on his back that he just couldn't reach, arrested a Priest of The Way Of The Hammer, sparking yet another Yeti rebellion (They where soon calmed by the King of Yeti's, former Royal Peny) though Grand executioner Gorhero was quick to assure us that harsh punishments will be had, a night with Peny's Mom, followed by another visit to Peny's mom, with the penalty for not doing so being madness. |
| An Asgard Informer special article - torture!
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| by Xaphan Vanimedle |
| July, 2009 |
| Being the uncivilised Viking's that we are we Norlanders are always looking for new and innovative ways to torture people (Cont. page 99) |
