SWI News
| http://wiki.battlemaster.org/skins/common/images/bm-logo.png The South-West Tattler | ||
| Price: 1 Gold | Editor: Various | Issue: 1 |
| Disappearing Ale Mystery Strikes Taselak | |
| Date: Oct 12 2005
In bizarre circumstances yesterday, the realm of Taselak was apparently visited by a mysterious demonic force, which made off with large quantities of fine ale. The ale, which was located in a storehouse in Lesthem, had been left there by the local lord, Eldarion. It was a particularly good quality type, and Eldarion had been saving it for a special occaision. When we spoke to him earlier he was understandably upset. "I just don't know who could have done it. I mean, who in their right mind would steal my ale?! It's just not fair! *sniff* I bet it was one of those Toren bastards, they have no decency. Ale stealers the lot of them!" Nobles at the scene of the crime were also baffled by the disappearance. There'sh shomethin' strange goin on. It'sh like *hic* the ale jush walked off by itself. Heehehe *ahem* yeshs, said Lord Xerxes, who was the first at the scene of the crime. The Tattler can offer no explanation for this mystery, and urges nobles to be on their guard for any suspicious demonic activity. |
| Military Expansion Continues | |
| Oct 12 2005
The last few weeks on the South-West Island have seen some serious military maneuvers taking place. With Taselak and Toren both conquering rogue regions (Moeth and Riakond respectively), Sandalak was quick to respond, taking the region of Ketriem from their neighbours Ikalak. One source from within Ikalak had this to say about the loss, "Bugger" As we can see, tensions continue to run high. |
| Ikalak Elect Ruler | |
| Oct 12 2005
In recent days the realm of Ikalak has confirmed Lord Farlouche as its new Pontifex. Many in Ikalak are hoping that Farlouche will be able to lead the realm to a new era of dominance over the island. As one anonymous source said, "At the party we were all given pointy hats to wear. I mean, from there it's only one small step to global domination. Any ruler who is kind and considerate enough to purchase us pointy hats is clearly going places." |
| Toren invest in pink whips |
| Sources from within Toren have been reporting upon the large number of pink whips that are now in production in the realm. "I've no idea what they're for", said one noble, "all I know is that Doomgiver told us to make as many whips as we could. And to make sure they were pink."
That Tattler has several varying opinions on what the whips could be used for, but in the interests of public decency will not speculate. However, the multiple skirmishes that Toren have had with troops from Taselak suggest they could be used as part of military tactics. Only time, and scars, will tell. |
| Attractive peasants demand more nobles |
| "South-West Island just doesn't have enough good men to satisy me. Myself and my sisters are willing to try many new things, but there just isn't enough people about."
This comment, from a particularly pretty maid, expresses an opinion that can be seen throughout the island. For the good of the public, the Tattler urges all nobles to heed the ladies call. Battle and war need you. Women need you. South-West Island needs you. Of course, this editor is quite happy about the lack of noble blood on the island, as it opens up many exciting avenues for his own exploits. |
