Outer Tilog (Realm)/Poetry: Difference between revisions
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Till Pharmakeus drownt him in a bog!</pre> | Till Pharmakeus drownt him in a bog!</pre> | ||
==Garm Devourer== | |||
<i>Tom Sawyer, Adapted by Zyzyx</i> | |||
"Listen, newbie, to this song. It's definitely something you should know about your liege." | |||
Zyzyx sings with a wailing voice, too high to be credibly masculine yet not fitting for a woman. | |||
<pre>A rotten-gray warrior | |||
Mean, mean stride | |||
Today's Garm Devourer | |||
Mean, mean pride | |||
Though his mind is not absent | |||
Don't think of him as intelligent | |||
His reserve, a reeking excess | |||
Trotting out the day's events | |||
The river | |||
What you say about his majesty | |||
Is what you say about our society | |||
Catch the fist, catch the myth | |||
Catch the mystery, catch the spit | |||
The drool is, the drool is | |||
Howls and lice gone deep | |||
Maybe as his holes are wide | |||
Today's Garm Devourer | |||
Forfeits land and you | |||
In the space he takes | |||
He gets by without you | |||
Tini-nini-tinii, tii-ninini-tinii. | |||
"Though his teeth are just for rends | |||
To any knight or peasant | |||
Always hopeful, yet discontent | |||
He knows meals aren't permanent | |||
But death is | |||
And what you say about his majesty | |||
Is what you say about our society | |||
Lose your fitness, lose your wit | |||
Lose your spirit, lose your s*** | |||
The drool is, the drool is | |||
Howls and lice gone deep | |||
Maybe as his holes are wide | |||
Excite the warrior | |||
Today's Garm Devourer | |||
Forfeits land and you | |||
And the anarchy you fake | |||
He bites right on to the marrow, oh so gray | |||
[[Category: Colonies]] | [[Category: Colonies]] | ||
[[Category: Outer Tilog]] | [[Category: Outer Tilog]] | ||
[[Category: Roleplay]] | [[Category: Roleplay]]</pre> |
Revision as of 07:23, 28 January 2008
Herein lies the most black hearted speech to ever cross the lips of the Outer Tilogian nobility. Every effort has been made to provide proper credit to the responsible parties, in order to assist law enforcement agencies in apprehending the guilty parties. Those with permanent disabilities, children under the age of twelve, and expectant mothers are not advised to read any further.
And if you think these are torturous to read, just imagine having to listen to Angus or Woefix sing them...
An adaptaion of the immortal words of T'hClash the Earsplitting by Pharmakeus
Dethargos you gotta let us know… Should we stay or should we go? If you say that we should police the mine We'll be here 'til the end of time So you got to let us know Should we stay or should we go? Oh Dethargos with you it is… Always tease tease tease You're happy when we knock peasants to their knees One day your fine, the next your mood is black So if you really do want us off your back Well come on and let us know Should we Stay or should we go? Your indecision is bugging me If you don't want us to set these peasant dogs free Exactly then who are we supposed to be? This damn peasants clothes don't even fit me
A Hulaferd work chant
as transcribed by Brute Screamking, scribe to Countess Yukiko
Tax collection pay, and the army's ready to work Talking about the weekend, rubbing Lukon in the dirt Some heading to slaughter families, some find anyone to hurt Some hanging out in Hulaferd doing lots of Civil Work. Working on the highroad slogging through the black slop Working on the highroad my life is gone if I dare stop Working on the highroad carting corpses round the clock Working on the highroad, working on the highroad. I'll work for the Countess until I'm 95 All day I hold her war banner and pass the other soldiers by In my head I keep a picture of that terrifying Miss Someday, Mister, I'm gonna die for her and nevermore experience Working on the highroad slogging through the black slop Working on the highroad with no Lukonites to mock Working on the highroad praying Yukiko doesn't bash my face with a rock Working on the highroad, working on the highroad.
A Tribute on the occasion of Chancellor Garm's election
written by Lady Murakama Yukiko, and her Chief of Staff Hors D'oeuvre
I saw Garm with Yukiko's menu in his paws Walking through the streets of OT in the rain. He was looking for a place called AYMCA Gonna get himself a big dish of peasant's brains HHHRRROOOWWWWwwww! Garm of Outer Tilog. HHHRRROOOWWWWwwww! If you hear him howling 'round your kitchen door, You know he's gonna do you in. Twelve whole families got eviscerated late last night. Garm's been midnight snacking again. HHHRRROOOWWWWwwww! Garm of Outer Tilog. HHHRRROOOWWWWwwww! He's the hairy-handed soul who dug up Holly's Hole Lately he's been prowling 'round the harbour Well Moira got bumped off and though some people scoff They went and made him Chancellor HHHRRROOOWWWWwwww! Garm of Outer Tilog. HHHRRROOOWWWWwwww! Well I saw Dethargos walking with the Senat Doing the Garm of Outer Tilog Well I saw Dethargos' relatives walking with the Senat Doing the Garm of Outer Tilog. Well I saw Garm drinking a pint of blood ale at the AYMCA. His fur was... perfect. HHHRRROOOWWWWwwww! Garm of Outer Tilog. HHHRRROOOWWWWwwww! HHHRRROOOWWWWwwww! Garm of Outer Tilog. HHHRRROOOWWWWwwww!
It's got a great beat, and it's easy to dance to!
A lullabye, Tilogian style
Pharmakeus, Chief Poisoner of Outer Tilog
Hush little Garmy, I know what you crave Pharma's gonna to buy you a Giblet slave And if that Giblet slave won't bow Pharma's gonna buy you an undead cow And if that undead cow actually dies Pharma's gonna buy you the Lord of Flies and if that Lord of Flies won't play Pharma's gonna buy you a virgin to slay And if that virgin starts to beg Pharma's gonna beat her with her own leg And if that leg begins to break Pharma's gonna carve out a big old steak And take that steak juicy and raw Pharma's gonna toss it in Garm's nasty maw And when Garm swallows that juicy steak down He'll be the meanest creature in town.
Now nighty night little Garm. You're gonna grow up to be a big big...thing
Makin' A Mess
Adapted to Outer Tilog by Lady Alynna, Countess of Nidalery
Garm the Toothgnasher just a singin’ the blues Caught Holly with another man Lit up a serf and did some talkin’ With the back of his hand She started shakin’, started losing her mind But he was kicking back and playing it cool Signed her walkin’ papers Took the 5:15 to Alowca-zoo Sing for your supper, Nobody rides for free Eat your heart out, I’ll send it m.o.d. One, two baby what you do Three, four let me show you the door You’re better off dead than makin’ a mess of me Five, six take your last licks Seven, eight let me give it to you straight You’re better off dead than makin a mess of me Now Garm-boy’s out havin’ a ball peeing on patrons at the local bar Dark corners, hard kicks, he’s on Dethargos Boulevard. Slick Zane and his gargoyle sayin’: Sign upon the dotted line! He shook his head and said: All I need is dig holes in that Holly of mine! Sing for your supper, Nobody rides for free Take your big time, I’ll take care of me One, two baby what you do Three, four let me show you the door You’re better off dead than makin’ a mess of me Five, six take your last licks Seven, eight let me give it to you straight You’re better off dead than makin' a mess of me When trouble came knockin’ Garm keeps bitin' like this! Sing for your supper, Nobody rides for free Eat your heart out, I’ll send it s.o.d. One, two baby what you do Three, four let me show you the door You’re better off dead than makin’ a mess of me Five, six take your last licks Seven, eight let me give it to you straight You’re better off dead than makin' a mess of me One, two baby what you do Three, four let me show you the door You’re better off dead than makin’ a mess of me Five, six take your last licks (lick it) Seven, eight let me give it to you straight You’re better off dead than makin' a mess of me
Tilogian Serenade
The tune Africa written by David Paich, Jeff Porcaro and Toto. Adapted to Outer Tilog by Sir Angus, Minister of Offense (MOO) and Lady Alynna, Countess of Nidalery
Angus rolled out of bed...he looked over at the Alynna and grinned his twisted grin...he grabbed her by the hair and pulled her too him...kissing her roughly...his inspiration...this little blonde vixen turned muse made his heart sing with an anti-valentine anthem...
Striding to the door he opens it and steps out into the hall...and begins singing in his loud...clear...(not necessarily good...just clear) voice.....
Zane hear the sacrificial drums echoing through the night But Alynna hears only whispers of some quiet conversation Some peasant is leaving on 12:30 TrebEx flight The firelit Iron Maidens reflect the scars that Moira carves in salutation Darr stopped a man in a helmut Hoping to find some standing orders or ancient battles He turned as if to say, 'Get out of my way there is an ale waiting for me' Chorus: It's gonna take a lot of virgins to drag me away from the BBQ There's nothing that Blop or his minions could ever do Bring the cursed rains down on Tiaro Detinu just knew Outer Tilog had the things he had to have The wild Garm cry out in the night As he grows restless longing for Nuori footwear for company Yukiko knows what she must do what taste right Sure as Gildon taints the sweet meats rotting on the field Pharmakeus seeks to poison what’s deep inside, we've frightened all with what Tilogians have become (strangled barmaid croak out the chorus... literally) (torture break) Hurry , Raaarox a stable's waiting there for you It's gonna take a lot of virgins to drag me away from the BBQ There's nothing that Blop or his minions could ever do Bring the cursed rains down on Tiaro, bring the cursed rains down on Tiaro Bring the cursed rains down on Tiaro, bring the cursed rains down on Tiaro Bring the cursed rains down on Tiaro Detinu just knew Outer Tilog had the things he had to have
Angus finishes the anthem on a low note...to the sound of crockery shattering as several empty ale pints hit the door frame.....turning Angus grins a proprietary grin...complete with its normal twist as he strides back into the room closing the door behind him.
The Chancellor
There once was a Chancellor of Tilog Who Ruled through a mind-numbing fog His movements quite shaky from a brain most flaky Till Pharmakeus drownt him in a bog!
Garm Devourer
Tom Sawyer, Adapted by Zyzyx "Listen, newbie, to this song. It's definitely something you should know about your liege."
Zyzyx sings with a wailing voice, too high to be credibly masculine yet not fitting for a woman.
A rotten-gray warrior Mean, mean stride Today's Garm Devourer Mean, mean pride Though his mind is not absent Don't think of him as intelligent His reserve, a reeking excess Trotting out the day's events The river What you say about his majesty Is what you say about our society Catch the fist, catch the myth Catch the mystery, catch the spit The drool is, the drool is Howls and lice gone deep Maybe as his holes are wide Today's Garm Devourer Forfeits land and you In the space he takes He gets by without you Tini-nini-tinii, tii-ninini-tinii. "Though his teeth are just for rends To any knight or peasant Always hopeful, yet discontent He knows meals aren't permanent But death is And what you say about his majesty Is what you say about our society Lose your fitness, lose your wit Lose your spirit, lose your s*** The drool is, the drool is Howls and lice gone deep Maybe as his holes are wide Excite the warrior Today's Garm Devourer Forfeits land and you And the anarchy you fake He bites right on to the marrow, oh so gray [[Category: Colonies]] [[Category: Outer Tilog]] [[Category: Roleplay]]