User:DorianGray/Avamar Times/Issue One

http://www.uehr.panteion.gr/avamar/Avamar.png The Avamar Times
Monthly Subscriptions: P.R Avamar: 1 Gold Piece Rest of East Continent: 5 Gold Pieces Other Continents: Varies	Head Editor: Sir Lalakis Editor: Loungra Reporter: Tzoutzoukos	Issue One
OFFER: Special Discount for Sirionites!!! 90% OFF PRICE PLUS a free hardbound copy of the best-seller "Doc in Wonderland"!!! Take advantage of the offer and subscribe now!!!

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The Great Dictator Opens!

Are you wondering which the best act of the current festival is? A theatrical play, where the story of Doc (as it is written by himself, offering an excellent scenario for comedy) is presented by clowns, freaks and particularly bad actors!!! Here is where the scenario is based: "Doc...once the God of War...The Ancient spellcaster council of Coimbra gave their lives to end his rule...breaking him up into Several pieces and scattering them across the lands...never to be together again...or his might would once again Return...and the world would again be Under his Rule...his parts long to be together again...but the Evil God Teehom constantly makes sure that Doc's absolute form is never realized again...so Teehom seeks the blood of all to insure that the Honorable Elven War God Doc is not fully born...thru the blood pumping in all being's veins...does the world unite as one...The Primus Family are direct descendants of the Elven War God, and constantly wage war against the Evil God Teehom....but always face defeat, being only mortal...but gathering more strength in times of peace...Teehom finds ways to change good men's hearts, and sway them to consume the world in battle...and plague the lands with the blood and flesh of everyone...may the Crows peck at Teehom's greatest warriors..the Primus clan will seek ultimate victory..and Peace will be our prize, and the power of our Elven War God Doc realized oncemore." Poor mad Doc... How could the "the Elven War God" imagine that a story designated for an epic and heroic tale, would give the excellent concept for parodies, stand-up comedies, strip shows, cabaret dances, practical jokes, and other amusing activities that brings laugh even to the poorest and most desperate people? Especially the kids of Avamar, love the particular part of the most famous theatrical play in Avamar, titled "The Great Dictator", where an ugly, mutilated, low-intelligent, half-orc actor, impersonates Doc where proud as a peacock and always fanciful and fantast, unfolds speeches with words full of bombast! The genuine laughter of the people of Avamar can be heard even from the Sirion Castle! The critics are saying that the only thing that is funnier than the play "The Great Dictator", is Doc himself and his original speeches!!!

Siege Ends

Today is a day of great joy! The City of Avamar, despite last week’s hostilities, celebrates the end of the siege by Sirionites and the arrival of Oligarch volunteers... All streets are decorated with banners of the two nations and the few young ladies that managed to maintain their virginity (after the long siege, the rebellion, the rogues, the corruption of the past and the first wave of celebration with Oligarch soldiers:-), are now spreading flowers all over the city. Bards have already composed glorious songs about the epic battles that took place in front of the gates of Avamar and various entertainers have undertaken the task to amuse the guests...