The Veiled Inquirer/Issue 1

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Obiabanner.png The Veiled Inquirer Obiabanner.png
Date: April 14th, 2019 1st Issue Cost: 1 Gold
Events of the Week War in the North! An Innocent Inquisition
April 8th
  • Rogues cleansed from Jidington and Irombro by our Beloved Realm!
  • Ar Agyr dissolved their alliance with Caelint, they are now at "peace".

April 9th

  • Rogues cleansed from Cjelorg by our Beloved Realm!
  • Thalmarkin rips up their peace treaty with Caelint, they are now "neutral".

April 10th

  • Duke Vahanian grants Sir Rhaelar the lordship of Bym.
  • Grehkia dissolves their alliance with Caelint, they are now at "peace".
  • Grehkia announces they will remain neutral in any war and will grant all sides military access
  • The armies of Ar Agyr, Gotland, and Thalmarkin occupy the region of Baqua (Caelint). Caelint abandons Baqua to rogue after the foreign invaders arrive.
  • Gotland abandons the regions of: Aesh, Porl, and Qonnor.
  • Gotland declares war on Caelint.
  • Angmar declares war on Gotland, announcing they will fight alongside Caelint.
  • Rogues cleansed from Yncaalo and Thromegor by our Beloved Realm and the Shattered Vales.

April 11th

  • Duchess Maura grants Snow the lordship of Thromegor.
  • Herald Osrit Haidvogel leaves the realm for Gotland.
  • Sir Virgil Nowack leaves the Shattered Vales and returns to the Sacred Realm.
  • Rogues cleansed from Glongin, Bolkenia, and Elloranaal by our Beloved Realm.

April 12th

  • Nothoi ends their alliances with: Shattered Vales, Grehkia, and Thalmarkin. The realms are now at "peace".
  • Nothoi declares war on Gotland, announcing the will fight alongside Caelint.
  • Emperor of the Shattered Vales, Ehrich Weisz, steps down.
  • Margrave Marinus Von Lunkhofen founds the Sacred Realm's third army known as "the Army of Jidington.

April 13th

  • Huge battle in Kell between Grehkia (510 men) vs Rogue (280 men). Grehkian victory.
  • The Army of Jidington begins a takeover of Elloranaal.
  • Rogues cleansed from Thromegor by our Beloved Realm.
After many long weeks of bleating, Gotland was finally able to get their allies to take the region of Baqua for them. Gotland declared war on Caelint as the large armies of Daimon Worshipering Thalmarkin and Ar Agyr moved into Baqua. Caelint, then owner of Baqua, decided to abandon the region they were bound to lose anyhow in order to avoid a war that was already happening. After moving into Baqua the Goat Herd learned that they had too few nobles for the number of regions they owned. In order to retake what they consider their pasture, Gotland abandoned three other parts of their pasture: Aesh, Porl, and Qonnor. Now I'm not the best at mathematics but even I know that three is greater than one. Perhaps the goats should leave the arithmetic to those with thumbs.

In response to the Daimon Worshipers and company attacking Caelint, Angmar and Nothoi decided to declare war on Gotland in order to help Caelint avoid abandoning more of their regions. This worried the goat herdsmen and cause them to offer a limited war where no cities are attacked. King Glynkar Plaraveen of Caelint was in no mood for such stipulations however and declined the offer. After much more bickering between the sides as to who is at fault for the war, another stipulation was put forward, but this time from King Plaraveen. "Send your allies home so Caelint and Gotland can go toe to toe, one on one." the King said, "Capitals (only) will be spared the destruction of battle, but all else is fair game." Only time will tell if this will become a limited war between just the two tiny northern realms.

~~Scyllias Navarra
Rivals or Lovers?
Warning: The following is intended for mature audiences. If you are a child, have good-character, or have a heart condition, it is recommended that you do not continue reading. Viewer discretion is advised.

Late in the evening I went out for a stroll around our lovely Holy City of Rines. All day I was looking for a good story but one just could not be found. I decided to head for the nobles estates as I knew that once darkness fell, the rich would engage in some good ole debauchery. What I didn't know was that this would be day I lost my innocence. What I saw was even worse than that time I saw Inquisitor Innocent with the pigeons in the park. That was just sinister, this was sinister and oddly titillating like a masochist's tango.

I arrived at Marshal Antonia Fitz Roberts' estate, I knew that this large woman had many female friends and I was curious as to the what they would be up to. For investigative journalism reasons of course. With luck I was able to sneak inside manor but to my surprise I heard what sounded like screams. Admittedly I was afraid but my commitment to keeping all of you informed was stronger. Screams began to get louder as I reached a closed bedroom door. The room was dark with only the candle light illuminating the limited amount I could see through the keyhole.

That is when I saw the unthinkable. Marshal Antonia and Sir Zebidiah were together and in their undergarments! I couldn't believe my eyes, it was well known that the two hated each other. Yet, here they were! That isn't all of it though, what is truly unthinkable is what they were doing. Marshal Antonia's thick forearms tensed as she held Sir Zebidiah's head in the bucket of water at the center of the room. Between the splashes of water you could even hear Sir Zebidiah complaining about how Marshal Antonia was doing it, "No, no, no, you have to shake in an up and down motion not side to side!" The shaking became violent, "quit whining!" snapped the Marshal. I was awestruck as I witnessed this new type of debauchery but could take no more. That is when I fled from the depravity, what happened next, I do not want to know. I'm sure that the next scene was even worse and not suitable to print, or even imagine, in Obeah's Haven.

~~Nepotian Retzner
Caelint's Terms for Peace
Due to hefty bribes and crafty eavesdropping, the Veiled Inquirer has obtained a list of what King Glynkar Plaraveen of Caelint would want in exchange for peace with Gotland:
  1. Punishment of Thesseus for his actions against Caelint
  2. The return of Fianik to Lord Edward as it is his rightful home.
  3. A trustworthy neighbor to the north of Caelint.

All signs point towards these being impossible to fulfill. Punishing Thesseus will be difficult as he went into hiding in order to make sure the war could not be avoided. The condition of Lord Edward taking control of Fianik is also unlikely as Gotland fears that Lord Edward will cast a magic spell to make 15 versions of himself so that he can recreate Angband. While we of the Sacred Realm would never believe such foolishness, you can not expect the same of goat worshipers. If somehow the first two conditions are met, there is no way you could truly trust a realm founded by someone called Agnes the Man Stomper.

~~Scyllias Navarra
The Inquisition released a statement this week saying that they have infiltrated and subdued a small band of insolent heretics in Ardmore. Not long after this report Inquisitor Innocent Nifelleisca was sighted in Ardmore, ending his long absence from the public eye. Was he part of this operation? After all, history shows that Inquisitor Innocent investigated Adolphus the Defiler. We of the Veiled Inquiror, inquired into Inquisitor Innocent's involvement in the investigation. Turns out, the Inquisitor would not comment on complicity or innocence. All available agents attested to adoration for alliteration but no affirmation as to the implication of Innocent's involvement was acquired.
~~Vane van Vale
Eldest Wilhelm has Dementia?
As Eldest Wilhelm of Grehkia decides to not assist their fellow members of the Northern Alliance (Ar Agyr, Gotland, and Thalmarkin) in their war against Caelint and to allow all sides military access, there are questions as to the sanity of the elder Eldest Wilhelm. Through the bribes we paid, the Veiled Inquiror obtained letters where Eldest Wilhelm openly admits to hearing daimons laughing. This can only mean one of two things. Either those Daimon Worshipers in Thalmarkin are up to something, or, the Eldest of Grehkia is getting too elderly. Make sure you keep an eye out for when Grehkia decides to put their Eldest out to pasture. I recommend Fikman so that he can enjoy the gentle sea breeze. So long as he doesn't mind the goats that is.
~~Barbara Eckhart
Proof in the Eating
A local Cagamir villager named Timothy was burned at the stake this week after being decried as a heretic. The story began two days prior when his neighbor, Jack, revealed a thick pudding that closely resembled the local statues of Our Holy Mother, Obeah. When Jack saw Our Holy Mother in his pudding he couldn't wait to show everyone. The entire village gathered around to see the pudding. That is when Timothy came along from the farmlands. When Timothy saw the pudding, he loudly proclaimed, "the proof of the pudding is in the eating!" and then gobbled up the entire bowl. Everyone was shocked at Timothy eating our Holy Mother and Jack promptly turned Timothy into the Inquisition. Agents of the Inquisition were unsure if Timothy was really a heretic but decided that it was better safe than sorry. After declaring Timothy a heretic and burning him at the stake, Jack was also executed for associating with and feeding a heretic.
~~Ivon Maczey