The Giblot Gestapo Gazette/Issue 5

The Giblot Gestapo Gazette
Issue 05	The Very Best in Completely Biased Reporting!	15 Gold
July Edition

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Show of Generosity Causes Massive Backlash!

By Revan Chaos was seen within Giblot earlier this week, Chaos not seen since the last time the Undead tried to open friendly relations with us in Giblot City! Naturally all the Undead were summarily sent to the nearest furnace for disposal when that happened! In any case, this reporter was on hand to see the carnage happen and let me tell you, it was not a pretty sight! The problems occurred when the new Tavern Keeper of the Headless OT tavern offered free spirits to all the Nobles of Giblot! Indeed, a very generous thing to do. Although, due to being just a poor reporter with no rank of nobility, I unfortunately managed to stay sober. However this allowed me to see exactly what happened! In an unintended mix up, the poor tavern keeper accidentally gave away the strongest drinks he had to the Giblot nobles. Needless to say, several hours later violence broke out and long and aggressive arguments were formed about little or nothing whatsoever as the nobles were that drunk! Giblot began to quiten down once the nobles went home to sober up. Several nobles were not seen for a number of days, presumably still recovering from the after effects. There are several unconfirmed reports that the tavern keeper responsible for this display of generosity was found with a dagger in his stomach a short distance from the local brewery. As a result of the recklessness caused by the tavern keepers humble act several members of the aristocracy have called for the outlaw of generosity. Pending further discussion, all acts of generosity have been suspended with violations resulting in a trip to the cells. As a result of this new law all copies of The Giblot Gestapo Gazette have increased in price in fear of being to generously priced! We vehemently deny any, and all accusations of an unfair cash in.

Headball Tournament Finishes With A Bang!

By Revan Dulthalos' Headball Tournament finally came to a dramatic end this week in a close match between the Matahadors and The Forgottens. In an amazing match the Mathadors eventually won with a tense 1-on-1 battle between Dante and Ugur towards the end. However Dante, injured as he was, could not avoid being hit and the Mathadors took the victory! In the wake of the Mathadors victory, team Captain, Morton has become somewhat of a celebrity with the citizenry and we have confirmation that all abucuses in the Capital have been sold! Morton was unavailable for comment on this subject however as he has gone into hiding from his now massive fanclub. A close friend of Mortons told us that Morton would speak to us of the Victory once the furore over the Mathadors win had died down. That said however, there have been several unconfirmed reports that Morton and the Mathadors have been travelling around Giblots many taverns one by one. This poor reporter is at a loss as to how the Mathadors can even afford the pleasure! In related news, there are rumours flying around Dulthalos shall hold another Headball Tournment in the not-too distant future.

Back to Work

By Dick McNick People have been saying I've been getting lazy since my return from vacation in Helsera. Well I'll tell them that there is nothing interesting happening here. After you go through so much in life you want to just sit back and relax, but people wont let you have that will they? Well you know what people of Helsera? GET BACK TO WORK! Haha, that's right calling me lazy you no good freeloaders your vacation is over. But alas so is mine. So for news, well how about those undead for starters? They just never stay down. You can destroy them then the next day they come back just as strong as before, pretty indestructable them there undead are. If only they could be tamed they would make great workers, soldiers, and probably athletes. So maybe their feet are rotting to the bone, but they just pick themselves back up again. Well it's time to head back to the office, and that means going through Wirkfyr. Despite how good it sounds in the brouchure I'll have to slip through some dead heads first. Wish this reporter luck.

Nail in the Coffin

Source Unknown Thanks to the vigilant efforts of the Giblot army. A black mark in the history of our great realm can finally be erased. The traitorous Dante DuPre was brought to justice in a rather small ceremony. Not many of the nobility were present for the event but that didn't mean the people wouldn't get a show. Witnessed by both Judge Lisa and Count Gander Militant. Dante was unceremoniously pushed over the bridge hanging him. The people had a wonderful view of the proceedings, with children throwing rocks and vegetables at the body. After all the spectators had gone, an onlooker said that the body was then decapitated by Count Gander. And taken as a trophy for his own personal collection. Though the next day when some nobles came to retrieve the head. They were disappointed because the plans to play a game of Headball had been thwarted. FREE Headball Coupon! Due to Continuous War and Strife on our borders, the Giblot Headball League is giving all of it's Heads away! Visit your Local GHL Office with this Coupon for details of this once in a lifetime offer.

In Other News

Rumours Reports have been coming in from all over Giblot about sightings of the deceased Dante DuPre. Some people believe that his ghost walks again to torment people as he did during his life. Another sighting was seen of this man in Koolaris before he was later chased out of a small village there by its inhabitants, wielding torches and pitchforks. As more sightings of this phenomenon emerge we will bring it to you. There's A Demon About By Dick McNick. Early this afternoon a strange phenomenom overcame the land. A loud voice whose source was unable to be found yelled out. It was said to be heard everywhere but it's direction was unknown. The voice consisted of alot of yelling, cursing, and violent threats. With such characteristics it is believed that a demon was the source of this mysterious voice.