Rea Family/Darius/Blood and Peanutbutter

Roleplay from Darius Rea

Thick, viscous fog sat over the Dark Citadel. Darius sat on the edge of a dry, cracked fountain, in one of the mid sized squares that dotted the city. He'd been watching the dark shapes flitting through the fog, wondering how to catch one. He figured he should take this opportunity to diversify the peasants in Ravossol, Baron or not. He could set up small towns of different peasants for each realm, and mix and match. He broke his frown to smile slightly at the thought. He could breed the perfect peasant for anything, big burly ones for the army, and plump ones to harvest for the AYMCA and BnB. He'd probably have to breed special ones for Jitney, he was quite picky about his ingredients. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He'd have to oust that damn Edain somehow, the idea would require access to the whole region to have enough room. In the meantime, however, he had to research the other realms' dungeons and justice systems. He had to reclaim his InJust title as well. He sighed into the mists. He really needed to stop making a mess of his titles, it was highly detrimental to any of his ideas. "Sir? A package for you." Darius opened his eyes and sat forward. A messenger, baring the colors of his realm, stood nearby, gently holding a small package wrapped in brown paper, as if a careless move would cause it to blow his hands off. Darius looked at the package, perplexed. He hadn't gotten any mail that wasn't reports, or open letters to the realm in ages. "Who's it from, messenger? I don't need any gag gifts. The last time I opened one of these, three hundred hornets killed 6 of my men." The messenger grimaced, offering the package. "It's from Jitney Blue, Kepper of Hair and Fluff of Outer Tilog, Ambass-" Darius waved his hand, "Yes, yes, I know who you mean. This had better not be unpleasant, or I may have to vent my frustrations." The messenger looked mortified as Darius took the package roughly. With a scowl, Darius tore the paper off, and flipped open the top. Inside, one large blueberry muffin sat in the center, slightly off kilter. Darius's face split into a wide grin. "Messenger! Do you know what this means?" Darius's voice echoed across the empty square, "It means I'm going to be a father!" Darius jumped off the fountain, nearly knocking over the messenger, and nearly ran from the square. The messenger sighed, and thanked his gods he had survived the encounter.

Darius Rea

Roleplay from Darius Rea

Darius returned to the City, and began his search for Jitney.....

Darius Rea

Roleplay from Jitney Blue

Jitney continued to force feed Stephen bushels of kale and oats. "Get strong, Stephen. I need you need you to be healthy for the big day. Darius will be back soon." Jitney was nearly crooning, and he fussed about Stephen like a mother hen over her chicks. Stephen swallowed the mouthful of the bitter green roughage and took a swallow of goat's milk. "You usually beat me, Jitniest of all the Jitlords, but you haven't laid a hand on me in days. And, I'm sorry to bother my Jitness but you've never fed me this well either." He reached out and picked up a muffin, fresh from the BnB. Jitney slapped it out of his hand and stuck a finger in Stephen's face. "Now what are you thinking!? That has peach, pineapple, AND a dash of Centella. You can't eat that eat that..." Jitney trailed off and turned, about to throw the muffin into the fire. Stephen had a confused look on his face. "But my Jitlords... Why couldn't I eat that? I'm only allergic to shellfish." He realized he was being rather bold, but the question had already been asked. The dark cast returned to Jitney's eyes immediately, but then faded and softened a bit. "No.. no reason. Just not my best work," he added, with a wave of his hand. Stephen looked at muffin, still held in Jitney's hand. It was a morsel of perfection, as Jitney's baked goods always were. So it wasn't that... Suddenly Stephen's eyes widened and he looked at Jitney, concern starting to creep across his face. "Um.. Jitsir.. those ingredients... They're also dangerous to women in their first months of..." Stephen trailed off as he saw the dark gleam growing in Jitney's eye. "Go on. Go on. What were you going to say, Stephen?" he asked in a purr. Stephen forced the word out. "Pregnant?"

Jitney Blue

Roleplay from Jitney Blue

Jitney paced back and forth in his bedroom, muttering to himself. "Where... Where IS he. That muffin must've gotten there gotten there ages ago. Doesn't he know that he's only fertile for a few days?.... Like he never even read the baby books..." "Sir," Stephen said, raising a hand before him to catch Jitney's attention, "what was that you said about a.. Baby?" He still couldn't get the word out without a shiver. And Stephen truly knew nothing, aside from the fact that his Lord seemed bent on getting him as healthy as an expecting mother ought to be. But beyond that, he could only imagine. At first.. At first he had scoffed at the whole thing, thinking it another one of Jitney's insane side ventures, that would fizzle out when he realized his task was utterly impossible. But then Stephen recalled the look in his Lord's eyes, and the.. The passion with which he'd been treating the whole affair. And WHAT did Darius have to do with this.. he shivered again, realizing that Jitney wasn't going to be dissuaded easily from this... Whatever it was. Stephen KNEW, on some level, that Jitney wanted to get him with child... But the idea was laughable. Then why was he terrified every time he thought of the words "baby, "pregnant," or "Tilogoan Section?" Jitney shook Stephen gently from his thoughts. "Stephen. Stephen. Are you okay, man? Do you need a cold compress? A nap?" "I... Your Jace, I just asked about the, um... Why you said 'baby books' before.." Stephen trailed off. "Oh, that?" Jitney said with a dismissive wave. "Nothing. Nothing! Bakery stuff. Nothing to worry about. Just you rest, and keep your strength up " Jitney turned and seemed to forget Stephen all at once, walking back and forth, muttering about the unreliability of these modern fathers and their abyssal religious duties..

Jitney Blue

Roleplay from Jitney Blue

Jitney paced back and forth, quelling every one of Stephen's questions before he could utter a few words. On the large table in front of them was a cornucopia of medical, magical, and malevolent items. Crystal globes sat atop rusted, barbed daggers, and various tinctures and herbs were strewn about around a chest spreader, which partially covered a garden rake. And, away from the fire, Jitney was letting an assortment of fresh baked muffins cool. The smell was both intoxicating and nauseating, as Jitney had used some never-before-seen spices in a few of the baked treats. Stephen eyed it all with open trepidation now, things having gone much further than he had ever imagined. For the Abyss' sake, the woodworkers had brought up a CRIB today. A crib!! Jitney was mad, but he never did a thing fully unless he was sure of it working. And below the nervous visage there was conviction and, Stephen was sure of it now, belief. Just then the door burst open and Darius tumbled through, gasping for breath. At the sudden noise Jitney and Stephen both yelped. Darius, caught off guard by the yelps, followed suit. They were all screaming, but then Stephen began to keen, and the high pitched wail grew in intensity until both Jitney and Darius ceased their yelling and stared at Stephen in open astonishment. And Stephen stared back, eyes wide open as in question, as the keen continued to come from his open mouth. Darius walked up and slapped Stephen across the face. Stephen went silent. "DARius!" Jitney admonished with a small gasp. "The baby," he whispered. And then yelled. "THE BABY!" He rushed forward and took Stephen's head in his arms, rocking him back and forth, cooing. Darius didn't seem to know what to do, so he patted Stephen on the head and said "there there, now..." He glanced down at Jitney, raising his eyebrows. Jitney glared back accusingly, and pulled Stephen closer. "Jitlord?" A muffled voice asked from Jitney's armpit. "Yes, sweetling? What is it is it." "I... I'm scared, Jitney." "We all are," Darius said, patting Stephen on the back again. "We all are..."

Jitney Blue

Roleplay from Darius Rea

With a determined look, and a large rock, Darius broke into Jitney's quarters in the city. He'd pushed his mutant squirrel steed to its limit, leaving it for the wolves in Hulaferd. Out of breath and red in the face, he'd run straight to Jitney's townhouse, closely followed by his panther, Fenri. He'd banged on the double oak doors for a few minutes, before he noticed a large rock that had fallen off a decrepit building nearby. As he swung for the center of the doors, a servant opened them, getting half a word out before being bashed in between the eyes. Daruis blinked, pausing only long enough to praise the abyss for his good luck, and trampled over the body in his haste to enter. He flew though the house, looking for the master bedroom, finally coming to a skidding halt outside an ornate door. With a grunt, Darius broke into Jitney's rooms, Fenri close behind. It smelled like a bakery had been soliciting its wares for hours on end. A small mountain of baked goods were arranged carefully into a pyramid, a little ways from the fire. A large table was laid out with all manner of strange tools, spilling haphazardly onto the fourposter in the center of the room. The fireplace nearly roared with delight as the open door fed it with more air. After the screaming had stopped, and Darius had returned to his senses when it came to hitting baby-carriers-to-be, the room sat quiet. Jiteny's armpit held Stephen in check, and Darius rose from the floor, all business. He walked over to Fenri, who had promptly settled by the fire after the initial screaming. The panther had on a leather harness with his masters heraldry tooled down each strap. A pair of medium satchels were attached, one to each side, both having scrolls sticking out the flaps. Darius, careful not to disturb the massive cat, plucked out a few scrolls, and laid them out on the remaining open space on the bed. "Are those those the baby making scrolls you found, found?" Jitney looked eagerly at the papers. His armpit made a noise, but neither madman paid it any heed. "Yes Jitney. I've had Fenri watching them since you mentioned your interest in bearing my child." Darius paused, closed one eye, and began to rattle off a list, tracing his finger down the paper. "Mother, check, food suitable for pregnancy, check, materials for summoning (see section 3.8), Jitney, did you get the second list I sent you?" Jitney solemnly nodded, all traces of mirth erased as they began the process of creating a new life, with a little help from the Abyss.

Darius Rea

Roleplay from Darius Rea

*The Next Day They had been at it for hours on end. They'd fed Stephen every baked good Jitney had stockpiled the first night. Jitney had labored over the fire all night, creating more and more outlandish confections. Darius assisted Stephen in eating them, namely by shoving piping hot cinnamon-burnt codfish bagels straight down his throat. All night Darius murmured phrases, one after the other, occasionally referencing the scrolls with one eye. As dawn broke, Darius released Stephen from the gentle headlock he'd been cradling him in all night. Jitney, covered in sweat, removed his last creation, a large steel helmet (sans head) filled to the brim with plain popcorn. He went to Stephen, now prone on the floor, and slowly fed him popcorn, one by one. Darius fretted around the table of instruments, finally pulling a large bucket out from behind a stack of chess pieces. Darius set the bucket nearby the abstraction that was Jitney and Stephen, and dipped his whole hand in. When he withdrew, his hand was stained red with a thick, viscus fluid. With a flourish, he began to paint strange circles and markings in the substance, surrounding the pair, murmuring incantations as he worked. As he finished the inscriptions, he fell silent for the first time in hours. Jitney looked up from his charge, worry etched on his face. "Darius Darius, why did you stop? It can't be finished yet yet." Darius, bags under his eyes, looked up from his markings, and grinned. "Jitney, my old friend, we've come to the hardest part; we have to get him into a state called 'labor'." Jitney looked confused for a moment before nodding. "How do we do that that? It sounds like fun!" Darius smiled. Jitney was making a fine partner, better then he could have ever hoped. "It looks like there are hundreds of ideas here, and a framework for making more. We will have to try every one, and probably make a few up as we go." Darius closed an eye, and read, "kick 'mother' in shins, 25 times." Jitney looked over at the prone Stephan, and gave a small smirk. "I guess I could prop him up on a chair....."

Darius Rea

Roleplay from Antonio Maxwell

[[[For context]]] Letter from Antonio Maxwell Message sent to everyone in Colonial Senate (42 recipients) - 13 days, 8 hours, 45 minutes ago Did I miss OT's declaration in the colonies of war with their objective? I was trying to find it and couldn't. While I'm at it, is there a reason that there is OT in our realm? Surely, this isn't a preemptive attempt at an attack... once again. This is what happened one of the last times before OT made an excuse to attack. Of course, that's assuming anyone cares enough or could do anything to OT. Once OT makes it's mind up, the continent pretty much just goes... "oh, well". Antonio Maxwell Viscount of Bode Batura Elder of Colonial Senate

Antonio Maxwell

Roleplay from Jitney Blue

Jitney read the letters from the Senate. He furrowed his brow, lifted Stephen's head from the bowl of plum wine it was submerged in, and then looked at the ground. He let Darius take Stephen's hair and he turned, leaving the room. Outside, Jitney looked around, making sure no one was nearby. Complete silence enveloped him. He knelt, and with a single finger, poked the earth. A barely audible "oh well" seemed to issue from nowhere and everywhere all at once. Jitney grinned and walked back to his room.

Jitney Blue

Roleplay from Jitney Blue

The chair was not a chair, several hours later... When they had first strapped Stephen in and Darius had begun the shin pummeling, Jitney had withdrawn a small list from his pocket. It contained the very best of the labor induction methods from the baby scrolls, in his opinion. These were the ones he was going to try first. While Darius was administering his treatment, Jitney gathered his supplies. Chipmunk. Check. Tongs. Check. Fresh leather pie. Check. Stinging nettles. Check. Tears of a baby goat. Check. Rusty nail. Check. Water. Check. Couple locked in amorous embrace. Check. 4 pounds of ikrif. Check. String quartet. Check. Rum. Check. Abyssal brimstone. Check. Fine woven net. Check. Turkey baster. Check. Iron filings. Check. Written consent of twelve virgins. Check. A piece of the Chairthing's Chair. Check. The head of a non believer. Check. Grass from Wetham. Check. That should do it do it, he thought. Darius was standing back observing Stephen, as if waiting for something to happen. "Do you think I only had to kick one of his shins?" Darius asked. "I think you think you did it right. Though I think we were supposed to shave them first... But let me try this next!" Jitney burst forward, bundles of stinging nettles in his hands. He wrapped Stephen in the nettles, and then called in the string quartet. "Right over there, over there," he pointed, shooing them into a corner. "Get ready to play something romantic." Then he picked up the nail, dipped it in the rum, then brimstone, and made Stephen bite on it. After that, he sprinkled the goat tears on Stephen's head then filled Stephen's left pocket with grass. "No, Jit," Darius interjected. "The grass goes in YOUR pocket." "Oh right right." Jitney smiled sheepishly and then got back to work. "And why'd you get so much ikrif? I thought it only called for enough for the couple." "Oh," Jitney said with a dismissive wave, "the rest is for us." "Good thinking," nodded Darius in appreciation. Jitney busily worked on Stephen, who was white with fear and near to bursting from the baked goods. "He certainly LOOKS pregnant," Jitney commented as he worked. A few hours later, and a frantic chase to capture the chipmunk, the room was set. The couple hung suspended, locked together, inches above Stephen's body. A leather pie baked in the corner. "Okay, Darius, just make sure the couple is.. Into it." Darius glanced at the rum and ikrif. "Good as they're gonna be, Jit." "Well then, well then..." Jitney glanced around nervously, signaling to the quartet with a wave. "Start the music."

Jitney Blue

Roleplay from Darius Rea

"Pry open eyelids, and pour lemon juice on to taste...... no, wait, this must be the 'How to cook Humans and other Fun Meats' scroll....."

Darius Rea

Roleplay from Darius Rea

"Have 'Mother' rake leaves for two hours, ensure leaves are thoroughly wet" "'Gargle paint, and spit on passerby.' Jitney? Did you bring any paint buckets?" "'Shave all hair, and offer to the Abyss.' Do you think they mean us, or Stephan? Better do both to be sure...."

Darius Rea

Roleplay from Darius Rea

For a week and a half they'd been trying a manner of ways to get Stephen into 'labor'. Everything under the 'Quickening' section of the scrolls had been tried, twice each (Jitney insisted). The housekeeper had been bringing them more and more supplies, at every hour of the day. She'd brought them a four doves and the stuffed deer head from over the mantle in the last hour alone. Still the noblemen hadn't noticed any changes in their charge, and the work was taking its toll. They'd taken turns sleeping and eating, never leaving Stephen's side. Jitney's fingers were burned and blistered from using the fire to keep Stephen warm, heating up pokers, and creating every conceivable confection. Darius was nearly toppling over from exhaustion, preferring to pour over the scrolls rather then sleep. The suite of rooms lay in a wreck. Peanut butter and blood covered the walls, and the area around the fire was white from flour. The large table had been tipped backwards, its contents now scattered throughout the room. One of the side rooms' doors was jammed open, a neatly stacked pile of both human and animal bodies peaking out. The bed's frame looked like it had been on the wrong end of an axe, and its mattress lay slumped half against the wall. The whole suite smelled of lemon and a fouled bathroom. Jitney stood in the center of the calamity, gently whipping the trussed up Stephan on the soles of his feet with a riding crop. Stephan had passed out again, and Jitney had carefully laid him prone. Darius was sprawled across the part of the mattress still horizontal, curled around a pile of scrolls, snoring lightly. Fenri sat in the only clear corner, gnawing on a large femur. Jitney was daydreaming about whether dung looks brown to everyone or just to him, when he caught movement in the corner of his eye. He blinked, checking twice to make sure, and broke into a grin. "Darius! Stephan's belly! It's growing, growing!" Darius unfurled himself from the scroll pile, blearily staring at the man they had made into their child-bearer. He could see a thin sliver of Stephan's belly, slowly growing bigger. Darius chuckled out loud, "Jitney! We did it! We are going to have a baby! Ha!" "What do we do now?" Jitney asked, staring at the ever growing strip of skin. Darius was at a loss for words, marveling at the miracle in front of him. "I have no idea."

Darius Rea

Several months later

Roleplay from Darius Rea

A cold, clear night blanketed the city. The door to Jitney's town quarters stood silent, as it had been for months. No one in, and no one out. A late night messenger, young, and still full of youthful hopefulness, clattered down the street, shoes kicking up dust left and right. He slowed, just short of the door, sneezing from the dust. He reached out, and knocked on the ornate doors. The knock echoed down the empty street, like funeral bells. The messenger looked a little startled by the echo, and tried to take a step back from the door. His foot caught on some...thing soft and heavy, and he fell back, and conked his head on the flagstones, throwing up more dust. Coughing, he blinked his eyes clear, searching for the object he tripped on. Out of the darkness, Fenri the panther leapt. A shrill scream rang out in the darkness, and then all was quiet again.

Darius Rea